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CalmIsTheCure

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Hello everybody,
I am new here and was wondering if anybody would be kind enough to let me know whether my symptom sounds like a mind body problem?
It is specifically nerve pain in the buttocks/glutes and backs of thighs when one is sitting down?
What are people opinions on that.
I have had extensive MRI imaging done and no nerve compression was found.
The nerve pain is also affected by cold weather. I also seem to have weakness in one leg.
All neurological testing appears to be normal.

Many thanks kind people
 
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CalmIsTheCure said:
Hello everybody,
I am new here and was wondering if anybody would be kind enough to let me know whether my symptom sounds like a mind body problem?
It is specifically nerve pain in the buttocks/glutes and backs of thighs when one is sitting down?
What are people opinions on that.
I have had extensive MRI imaging done and no nerve compression was found.
The nerve pain is also affected by cold weather. I also seem to have weakness in one leg.
All neurological testing appears to be normal.

Many thanks kind people
Click to expand...

Sitting pain is a very common symptom (one I’ve had) and one Dr. Sarno directly addresses. His book The Divided Mind presents a variety of healing success stories, and reading one of his books is the first step to understanding your chronic pain.

Let us know what you think of his book.
 
it does sound like TMS to me, especially since you let doctors check it out and they didn't find anything.
then again, everything sounds like TMS to me lately so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
 
Thank you ever so much for your prompt response.
I have already read several of Sarnos books. They are very enlightening.
From my findings I can only see pain in the gluteal region if it's sciatic pain.
I do not see general nerve pain from sitting. Most sitting pain seems to be pain in the back and not in the gluteal region. Or maybe I just have not found the stories. Or maybe it does not matter much. However it would be nice to clarification on the matter I guess to put ones mind at ease
 
Yeah, I know what you mean, it's very reassuring to find more accounts of exactly the title of the thing that you have. But you mention it already. If it's not there, that's a shame, but it does not matter much. It means you'll have to find your own proof, and that proof can be there in abundance once you know what to look for :) Sometimes there is a lot of emphasis on the "you have to believe it is tms". And that's of course true, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with just not being sure for a while, while looking for signs and cues from your brain and body.
 
I have to sadly admit it's hard not to fall into a trap of victim mindset.
Do people on hear have any kind words on how they navigate the required mindset for this work?
At first I felt relief but now I do not feel empowered much at all.
 
It ís super hard! and I don't think it is a switch you can flip one day and never feel it again. I don't believe that's how the brain works. If you've felt those feelings, the brain is used to that state, and will visit it now and then. But the brain is so plastic and malleable you can definitely get better at replacing those feelings with other feelings you do want to feel. Granted that sometimes things are just super hard and a bit of self pity is very human.

I think people here have a lot of kind words, it's a great community, and everyone is struggling with the same things.
For me (I have CFS) it's really hard when I'm really tired and I just feel like crying and sitting in bed all day.
I can permit myself to do that, or I can try to pull myself out of that with my thoughts. It does get really hard when you constantly have to pull yourself out of it, because it takes a lot of willpower to not give yourself permission to feel bad for yourself. That's why for me it's really a balance. If one day I just HAve to sleep, sit and cry, that's what I'll do. I can't be positive and "Up for the Challenge!" all the time. But I'll try it every time.
 
Everyone describes their sensations differently.
What is in your mind "nerve pain", might be termed as "s piriformisyndrome" to others. It's simply how your mind is associating it.
When Dr. Sarno discussed "Sitting Pain" he called it just that - no associations to any kind of "syndrome" or specific sensation. He stated that sitting is benign.
Our brains constantly go back to the association of the physical because that's how society has trained us to think, it's the acceptable "answer" to chronic pain. @Jettie1989 is absolutely right. If it was something as simple as nerve pain, the Doctors would have easily been able to figure that out.
You mention victim mindset. This is often a common TMS trait. ..where else in your life do you find you may have a victim mindset?
Does things that Dr. Sarno talk about resonate with you? Do you find yourself in his personality descriptions, in the fear mindset many of the folks in The Divided Mind faced etc.
 
From a young age I was bullied and often felt powerless to stop it. Often felt mis treated and used.
My family have also been on the end of some rather bad medical negligence. Makes it hard to trust anybody in a medical coat. (White coat syndrome I suppose)
Lots of bad things have happened in succession also.
I can see how all of this can lead to the perfect storm and a negative mindset.
So how does one switch to are more positive stance on a situation such as this? How does one break the victim mentality and not fear thier pain anymore and infact may I say befriend it?
 
I think it will look different for every person.

when I feel completely drained after working for an hour, I used to be sad and grumpy for the rest of the day because of my symptoms. My usual thoughts where of panic and stress. When I pull myself out of it I do that by using thoughts I've found to be helpful for me:
- this is great, I can practice with this!
- I am challenging my brain by doing this, every time I'm stretching my limits! If I feel like this, It means I'm doing it right, and I am teaching my brain that this is safe.
- or as the great Diana-M said: “the TMS battle is won when it’s hard. Not when it’s easy.”

or I'll do a visualisation,
read something or respond on the tms forum,
try to see what negative thoughts I'm having, and what some other thoughts could be,
do a breathing exercise

What I really try to avoid while doing these things is the thought "This is not working. I'm never going to get better." or slipping back into doubts and fears. "am I going to get better?"
I do everything with an attitude of "I will get through this, because it is just my brain". I'm not broken, I'm like any other normal healthy person. and if I have to rest, I'll rest, but I know I will get back to it, and I will get better.

And this for me feels very different. it feels upright, it feels determined. And keeping my mind on having faith.

O00H! you know what it feels like? it feels like that moment in the pixar short Piper. have you seen it?
at 1:22 he switches from being Afraid and Sad to being Afraid and Determined.

And then you do that over and over again, and only you can determine if this is a moment to sit in the sand and be afraid and sad for a while, or if you have the strength to run to the sea.
 
CalmIsTheCure said:
Or maybe it does not matter much.
Click to expand...
This is the correct answer out of the three things you surmised in this post.

Wasting time by searching for exact corroboration of your symptoms is a distraction activity designed by your TMS brain mechanism - and right now, it is succeeding at distracting you with doubt! This is pure Sarno 101.

It's time to stop thinking physically, stop mentioning any details of your physical symptoms, which TBH we are not going to help you analyze. Come up with a short generic phrase like "my sitting pain" - that's the only context that's needed on this forum.

CalmIsTheCure said:
I have to sadly admit it's hard not to fall into a trap of victim mindset ... At first I felt relief but now I do not feel empowered much at all.
Click to expand...
Congratulations! You've just experienced your first taste of what Dr. Sarno calls "The Symptom Imperative". This is your brain on TMS. Also, this is your TMS brain mechanism doing its job, keeping you in fear and doubt. The best way to deal with it is to be mindful when it happens, literally thank your brain for trying to keep you safe, and keep working on changing that inner voice.

Another sign of the Symptom Imperative at work is that if you make a commitment to TMS education (more below) your symptoms might get worse for no logical reason at all - this is a well-known and direct result of doing the emotional work, which is is making your survival-at-all-costs brain even more fearful.
 
Jettie1989 said:
there is absolutely nothing wrong with just not being sure for a while, while looking for signs and cues from your brain and body.
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100%! Doubt is normal, because our fearful brains crave certainty in the belief that certainty will keep us safe. The truth is that life is uncertain. As a wise philosopher wrote in a play three centuries ago, famously rephrased by Benjamin Franklin in 1789, the only certainties in life are death and taxes. Which is very ironic in our TMS world, because taxes are one of the many non-lethal modern stressors that our primitive brains only know how to interpret as a life-or-death threat, due to our typical response to them.

But I digress. The way to lessen your doubt while you learn, is to do one of our free programs. I always recommend the Structured Educational Program because it is emotionally based - and also very similar (perhaps influenced by) the Unlearn Your Pain workbook by Dr. Howard Schubiner MD, one of our leading luminaries in the world of the mindbody connection. The SEP is not only free, it's also free of any registration or sign-up obligations, you just go to the main tmswiki.org menu and find it in the side menu. You must do it with commitment while being mindful that your brain will try to convince you to skip or avoid some things as "unimportant", so you have to be willing to reject those messages and just everything with self-honesty even if some of it is uncomfortable. It's divided into "Days" but that does not mean you must do it every day. Find a pace which works with your schedule, rather than rushing through just to adhere to a non-existent schedule. Also, don't do more than two days at a time - if you have extra time, use it to read threads in the Success Stories subforum, and the posts at "Thank You Dr. Sarno" starting at the earliest posts in 2012 here:
https://www.thankyoudrsarno.org/2012/03 (March, 2012 - Thank You, Dr. Sarno) Note that the posts are in reverse chron order, and that the post at the very bottom of this first page is by Forest, the founder of the wiki and the forum.

If you need a bit more reassurance before starting the program, take this self-assessment test from the PPD Association (the professional group of mindbody/TMS doctors, therapists and other practitioners):
https://ppdassociation.org/ppd-self-questionnaire (Self Quiz — Psychophysiologic Disorders Association)

And, since you mentioned some childhood issues, this short questionnaire will help inform you about topics you can work on when you're doing the SEP. This is a forum thread with a link and description of the "ACEs Quiz" and its relevance to physical suffering:
https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/aces-quiz-online-printable-versions.27061 (ACEs "quiz" - online & printable versions) (ACEs "quiz" - online & printable versions)
 
Thank you very much for such detailed thoughtful answers. How very nice of you to take so much time out to answer a stranger.
I must confess I have already done some journalling. Before finding this site I had dabbled a bit with Nicole sachs work.

I think I understand the emotional side. Ie empty the bucket as it were. I assume I need not hit the direct topic or endlessly search for the one thing I'm being distracted from.

As far as conditioned responses go. How does one possibly break such a pattern?
I could understand perhaps the graded exposure to say bending sensations or building up walking distance for one who has been avoiding such activity.
What happens when you have not been avoiding sitting? Laying on my bsck also hurts so I've given up trying to avoid the sensations. I just have to suck it up until I can not take much more and then move to a different position and keep wiggling.

I do apologise for all the questions but you seem like an awfully helpful bunch.
 
There are methods that will help you break habits, but notice that you are 100% talking about breaking physical habits...but this method is about breaking the mental habits and getting in touch with ourselves.
Notice when you wiggle or brace yourself or do all the other habits you have to try and "suck it up". Notice how you are trying to avoid the painful sensations when you do this, and how it is creating tension in your body AND is inseminating from the tension in your mind, and how it comes from and creates stress. The fighting against the sensations, the avoidance of the feeling of the sensations and the emotions it brings with it. The resistance.
Distraction in the TMS sense is resistance to what is. The physical sensations of "symptoms" you experience distract you from what is...other stressors and emotions, specifically in Dr. Sarno's writing: unrecognized anger because we tend to repress (resist) these hard emotions. They also create shame, guilt etc. That's where your journaling comes in: to begin to realize that you can think about and feel these difficult emotional situations and be perfectly OK.
So now you work on being perfectly OK with the sensations of emotions (feeling them in the body) and the sensations of your discomfort. Alan Gordon has a variety of methods one might use to become "desensitized" to these sensations - they work for some people, don't work as well for others. This method is kind of a trial and error situation. The goal is to find the things that "desensitize" your nervous system - your reaction to this pain or sensation. You are sort of coming at yourself from all sides: teaching your brain that emotions and the sensations they bring are perfectly safe, and that the sensations in your body are also perfectly "safe" (word lots of the TMS folks use). When your mind feels a lot less like it has to be on full-time alert, your nervous system can calm down and it doesn't need to create such alarming warning sensations.
Here's the thing: some methods ONLY deal with this last part- turning of the alarming sensations. But if your mind is still on high alert, then that isn't long lasting. So it's important to work from both sides of the coin.
The Free Structured Educational Program at TMSWIKI.org (scroll down page to find it) will teach you many skills and a variety of journaling ideas. It also presents some ways to begin calming the nervous system a bit. The key is the MINDSET to all of this.

You have to get in touch with the "suck it up". How does it make you feel? Is that idea pervasive within your life? This is a key that you just need to witness in yourself. TMS folks often tend to be glass half empty people, the brain has a tenancy to focus on the negative.

So beginning to work on conditioned responses is to flip that switch. Look for the positive in your situation. Without constantly monitoring yourself or symptoms, can you begin to see the wins in your ability to sit for some periods of time. This might need to be conscious: You are "SUPER AWESOME AND YOU ARE DOING HARD THINGS" kind of mentality.
Brain retraining.
When you start to feel the need to "suck it up" can you look at your emotional state? Can you begin to accept that in this moment you hurt, but that it's temporary. Then you can use a form of distraction (not to distract from emotions) to re-direct your attention from the sensations?
Sarno says to get back to moving and back to life. What he is saying is to put your thoughts onto things that are far more interesting than your sensations. Focusing on the sensation is a form of OCD and you just need to break that habit.
Some folks find it beneficial to simply say to themselves (or out loud) STOP when you think about the sensations and turn your mind to other things.
So it's kind of a balance of focusing on TMS stuff for say, an hour a day - journaling, perhaps re-reading passages of Sarno which can help with doubt and focus...and not focusing on it the rest of the day. You are re-training your brain to be OK with emotions and notice personality traits that don't serve you the way you utilize them, anxiety, negative thought patterns so you can drop those habits, AND re-train your brain to find the physical sensations you are feeling to stop turning on your nervous system alarm bells all time.
 
It can be a lot to digest at once. Like folks have suggested above, take the first step and get started with the Structured Educational Program and see where it takes you.
 
CalmIsTheCure said:
At first I felt relief but now I do not feel empowered much at all.
Click to expand...
This is the absolute biggest challenge for me. It takes a lot of work to nurture a positive mindset. For me, this forum is a lifesaver! Don’t worry if you don’t understand. It takes a long time for things to make sense. At the right time, you will suddenly “see.”
 
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