Hi there, I'm new here. I have TMS. I haven't seen a TMS doctor for this but I've seen enough doctors and had enough tests to know that it's nothing structural. So, I started working on the structured program and so far so good. But I have a concern about journaling. I have had some absolute crap happen in my life. Probably not bad by some standards but bad enough! Now, when I journal the program said to discuss how we feel about past incidents. Now, should this be how we get at the time, or how we fee about the past incident now. Because writing that I was scared or sad was one thing but feeling them now is not so easy. However the emotions they stir in me now are coming from a different place and may even differ from the previous ones. For instance, as I child I witnessed something incredibly scary. At the time I was scared. But writing about it now as an adult with children I can easily write that I was frightened but I can't make myself feel that now. I can't relive the fear to fight through it or anything. However, the rage that the past incident now stirs in me as an adult is somewhat overwhelming. Do I write about the fear, feel the rage? What? Does it even matter? Also, I am finding this all very overwhelming emotionally. Even listening to Alan Gordon's therapy sessions is emotional for me because I have the same problems they do. I was thinking that maybe a therapist would help but I've tried therapy for anxiety and depression on the past and I just didn't feel I could truly open up. Moreover, I recently moved and have yet to navigate the health care in my new area. Any advice? Go it alone but be able to open up fully, no matter the emotional exhaustion? Or find a therapist and risk not being able to open up at all but have someone there for me? Anyone in a similar situation got a been there done that story? Maybe the journaling will get easier and less emotionally draining.