Day 19 New findings but old pain

[justgreene]

So, yesterday I had a small breakthrough. I found a trigger for the onset of pain. During the weekend, my pain tends to fade away and return on Monday. So, Sunday night as I was making my lunch for work the next day, I noticed my pain was returning. Ha! Making lunch for work is a trigger. Work is a huge stressor. I am a teacher and everyday is a big stress. We are winding down the year and classroom behavior is an issue at this time of year. Plus, as a teacher I want everything to go perfectly and I judge myself pretty hard. I think all of this contributes to me pain throughout the week. On the weekend I have been relaxing with family and trying to take it easy - no pain.

Problem is...Monday evening came and the pain hit me hard. I can barely stand. I feel pain in 3 spots causing major sciatica issues. Now, I did workout and that might have caused the flare ups. I am trying to get motivated to get back in the gym more often. But man, the pain is roaring!

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi justgreene,

Congratulations on identifying this trigger, even watching it manifest while making food for your job.

Plus, as a teacher I want everything to go perfectly and I judge myself pretty hard. I think all of this contributes to me pain throughout the week.

As a former school teacher/perfectionist my heart goes out to you. It is of course insanity to try to create a perfect outcome with so many variables running amok in the classroom! But the personality is obsessive in its pressurizing!

Monday evening came and the pain hit me hard. I can barely stand.

I want to encourage you that the insights you're having are extremely important and are the core of the self-treatment. You know then that there is no physical cause, so the pain can't be damaging or dangerous. Or at least you have the opportunity to see this, very deeply. Keep working toward this depth of understanding. Every time you feel the pain, direct your attention toward your psychological sources of pain, and away from the fear of physical causes.

Andy B

 

[justgreene]

Hi justgreene,

Congratulations on identifying this trigger, even watching it manifest while making food for your job.


As a former school teacher/perfectionist my heart goes out to you. It is of course insanity to try to create a perfect outcome with so many variables running amok in the classroom! But the personality is obsessive in its pressurizing!



I want to encourage you that the insights you're having are extremely important and are the core of the self-treatment. You know then that there is no physical cause, so the pain can't be damaging or dangerous. Or at least you have the opportunity to see this, very deeply. Keep working toward this depth of understanding. Every time you feel the pain, direct your attention toward your psychological sources of pain, and away from the fear of physical causes.

Andy B

Thanks for the responses. I really appreciate the guidance. The problem is I don't know what to direct my attention to psychologically? And what do I do about it? I feel like I am missing something in the course. Or I am not paying attention to the "how" to stop the pain.

 

[ssxl4000]

Hello...I struggle with that too, not being sure what to think about when pain hits etc. Am I thinking the right thoughts? Am I thinking enough? etc. From what I have read and heard from the veterans on here, it is more about just acknowledging the psychological nature of the pain when it first comes back. Remind yourself it's a distraction from repressed emotions. Maybe think about those emotions (if you know the specific ones) for a bit and tell yourself it's ok to feel that. Then move on. The biggest thing is just not consciously thinking about "what's wrong with me." Other than that, I have found some triggers to be a little fun. Once you know them, it can be like a game seeing if your brain is going to try anything.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

I think you make a good summary ssxl4000!

The basic approach is to understand, through repetition and through experience that there is nothing physically wrong with you and "contemplate" the psychological. In this, seeing a trigger do its thing is support for psychological, rather than physical. Even if the trigger is physical. So it is simply seeing through the "hallucination" of danger, pain, fear, and knowing none of it can actually hurt you.

And knowing the pressures you put on yourself create inner tensions, this again is simply seeing the "real cause" of symptoms, again and again as they come up. "Oh, this must be about __________."