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Looking back, it all started with a falling out with my family in 2006 while in college. That was the first time I remember having bad constipation. We moved on, ok it seemed. However, my digestive issues worsened over time. New stresses emerged. I kept running myself into the ground, culminating with me getting mono in December 2017. The sickness was mild, but over time I got worse, making 2018 mostly a lost year for me.

I have suffered from major digestive issues, constant aches and pains, a sore throat, congestion, confusion, anxiety, weakness, breathing issues, post-exertional malaise, and a host of other problems. I would say I have been about 50% of my old self, if that. Just when I started feeling better, I got the flu and started down another bad path in early 2019.

When my many doctors cleared me of everything they could think of, all that was left is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Systemic Exertion Intolerance Syndrome. It was a depressing diagnosis, since it is usually described as life long. However, in reading recovery stories, I came to accept that he problem was with my brain, for whatever reason causing inflammation in my body. I refused to attribute it to anxiety, but rather a mechanical issue in my brain caused by mono.

However, the progression of my symptoms has not follow any logical pattern, and I began to notice how much better they felt when I was distracted. The real turning point was when I read some information about TMS, and I realized I was already experiencing an extinction burst. Eight weeks prior to learning about TMS, I started a process of thinking "Happy Thoughts" three times a day. I told myself I was not sick, and only fighting my own body, not an infection. I visualized happy memories. These exercises made me feel better, but simultaneously, new, harsher symptoms appeared. They really challenged my mindset and freaked me out until I learned about TMS. Now, I am convinced that TMS is causing most of my symptoms. I am taking it all in and jumping into the treatment with hope.