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My TMS success story

I have done tons of EFT already, Colly. And it's not that I don't forgive my parents. I know they have done the best they could with what they had at the time. I have loved them and appreciate them, but, yes, it is the self-forgiveness that is taking a while. I grew up in a strict Catholic environment and like I said, I am judging myself too harshly for the feelings I have had about them. A part of me knows that feelings simply are feelings...they are neither good nor bad...they are what make us human. Then another part says how could a good daughter/person/sister have feelings like this about her family? And then I hear in my mind something I heard frequently as a child, "You should be ashamed of yourself."
 
Honeybear, ease up on yourself! We all have shame. Having shame is good, because it increases our self-awareness and helps us to learn from our mistakes. Don’t dwell on and judge your thoughts, just observe them, and be aware of why you had them. What matters is where you’re at NOW with your parents, not the past. If you need to build bridges with them, then get out there and start building. Take the initiative; it’s never too late.
 
Thanks for your responses, Colly. :)

I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hijack your thread. I had no intention of making this all about me. I sent you a private message, if that's okay.

Thanks again for inspiring me with your healing!
 
Colly said:
I had accepted and forgiven my Dad for his flaws, knowing deep down he loved me, though could never express this. Having avoided him for twenty years by living overseas, I flew home late last year and initiated contact with him. He was very grateful of the effort I had made, and while sitting around the family table one afternoon, just listening to him – really listening - a lifetime of tension between us melted away. Prior to this I was dismissive and resentful of him being the angry Dad all the time, but now I realize that his anger is his frustration in not being able to communicate his feelings. Once I forgave him for this, a flooding of compassion washed over me, and with harmony restored my health improved.
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Hi Colly,
I loved your story. I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia when I only had back pain, but soon all the other symptoms appeared. The power of the mind and the environment kicked in.
The healing process is different for all of us. I noticed that you quickly found out how to heal and where to look for your emotional short comings. Confronting your Dad was crucial and I am so glad that you could reconcile with your father. Some of us could never do that, but we can work on it from within us and make peace with our inner child.
I am still healing and hanging in there.
Saludos,
Leonor
 
Hi Leonor
I’m pleased you’re healing. Gosh if only we could get the doctors who diagnosed our Fibro together we could bash their heads together! You hold one while I push the other haha!

Y’know, this time last year I was back in Dublin to see my mother after (a thankfully successful) colon cancer surgery. After a twenty four hour flight, rather than me feeling excited to see my mother and family, I was dreading it, knowing I’d be walking on eggshells around my Dad’s angry outbursts (responding to my mother getting all the attention, which, in fact is what happened). I was overcome with anger and deep resentment, predicting this. At that time I had just started my TMS healing, but eight months later landing in Dublin again on a holiday, I was a different person, as I had done much soul-searching during this period, and realised it was now or never time to open my heart to him.

So I know only too well how difficult it is to make peace with a difficult parent - having avoided it my whole life - but we shouldn’t wait for our parents to do all the fixing - just because they are our guardians - but that the responsibility lies with us as children to make that happen. and gratitude will come flooding back.

Colly
 
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Hello Golly, I'm shocked about your story, in a good way!
I'm only 22 springs old, and encountered years of anxiety, constant irritable bowel, the latter subsided when dealing with some of the anxieties slightly untentionally, so I definitely know the power of soma and mind.
Latest have I during the past 6 years suffered from pain in shoulders/neck/arms, bad tingling all over them, numbness and general fatigue, however no medical expert have found anything defect.
In Oct I had obsessed greatly of the probability of getting tinnitus as I worked with a lot of music, 1 week after a music gig, 1 day after having vermin traps put up in my room (wauw was that stressful since I've had rats decaying beneath my bed before....), I was stressed, and developed tinnitus.
I can't tell music haven't been a contributing pitfall, ipod too, however prior history enforces the tms probability, and your story helps the confirmation and the belief of a successful outcome. It means so much.
I'll bookmark and keep rereading your history!

thanks
 
Colly, thanks for sharing your meeting with your father with everyone. The mutual forgiveness brought
you both peace. I had my first real talk with my father when I was a college freshman and we had a new
mutual understanding that gave me great peace. He died a few months later and I am so glad we had our
understanding talk before that.
 
Thank you Walt, and lovely to hear you too had reconnected with your Dad prior to his passing. It felt like a weight had lifted from my shoulders - one I had been dragging around all my life. I was very nervous reaching out to him, but so glad I did.

BTW I just saw your website, my gosh, talk about prolific! So impressive! I must get hold of the TMS book you and Eric wrote. The only thing is I'm not religious, but my mother is my God, so if there's a reference to God I can substitute I guess:-))
 
Hi Caynisa and sorry for the delayed response. A few things you say jump out and hit me:
  1. Have had "years of anxiety";
  2. Anxiety related illness which subsided when anxieties addressed;
  3. Understand TMS and accept the concept;
  4. 6 years of upper body pain with no structural cause;
  5. "Obsessed greatly" about the probability of getting tinnitus;
  6. You get tinnitus.

Caynisa, the doctors have cleared the way for healing, since they could not find anything. This is good news! You have TMS!

No pain should last six years. I badly broke my humerus bone from a nasty bike fall last year and it was excruciating, yet it healed in six weeks, and I was back to normal after about twelve. I badly sprained my ankle whilst on holiday last year, and after two days of complete rest, I was back to normal, hiking up and down the Italian countryside.

You must read and re-read Dr Sarno and Steve Ozanich's book also. Another one I'd highly recommend is Claire Weekes "Hope and help for your nerves". Read them in that order. Sarno will lay the foundation. Steve will build on that foundation, and Claire adds that extra insight. Once you've read these books, then you need to do the homework.

You've already discovered that by lowering your anxiety levels you improved. So you know that you've healed before - more good news!

When anxious our body reacts with a flooding of adrenaline and cortisol, to prepare for a flight or fight response. In short bursts this is good, as it gives us the ability to deal with a perceived dangerous or challenging situation in hand. However, our anxiety levels held in this heightened stated for prolonged periods leads to TMS pain. Claire Weeks refers to this in her book, saying that constant "anxious brooding" about any difficult life situation will lead to pain. As long as our bodies are in this state no healing can take place.

Obsessing is another way to inflame an anxious state. When you find yourself going down that path, try to catch yourself by being mindful, and talk to yourself, with soothing words and affirmations, like " I forgive myself, I love and accept myself, and it's safe to let it go". This helps to reduce obsessing, and calms the nervous system down. You need to do this daily until you stop obsessing.

I recommend you read "the steps to healing" from Ace1 on the other TMS help forum. I'm not sure if he's on this forum, but read his post, print it off and keep it with you at all times. I can't recommend his post highly enough.

You will need to ask yourself what are the real issues troubling you, and start to tackle these, either by changing them, or if you can't, then work on changing your reaction to them.

Regarding your tinnitus, it's not due to working in music. I used to go to loud concerts, and the ringing I got from this only lasts a day at most. When I go to concerts now I use ear plugs, only because I know what remaining hearing I have I want to preserve. I used to sing in a symphonic chorus and always stood behind the timpani, so during a mad crash-bang symphony, my ears got a royal pounding ( I once had real cannons go off in my ear during Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture, and even the audience were given ear plugs)! I remember I asked the timpani section of the orchestra if they'd ever had tinnitus problems, and they said no, because they could prepare their minds for the onslaught in the few bars leading up to a big crash-bang section!

I get episodes of tinnitus, but since TMS healing I don't get anxious about them. I had one as recent as last week. It went in about ten minutes, once I explored what happened in that day that might have sparked it. I speak to and soothe my mind. In Steve Ozanich's "Great Pain deception" he says on this subject:

Long protracted periods without healing can indicate a fear of lifting the mask to reveal what's underneath. This inner stubbornness is often accompanied by tinnitus".

One final word on rats: I once had rats in my roof above my bed as my neighbours had grape vines that stretched into the eaves of my roof. The used to sound like they were having a party in my roof. They probably were - on the neighbours grapes! Think of them as cute hamsters with long tails. They're not scary; they just come looking for food. Remove their access to your house and they'll go somewhere else.

Have faith in your body's ability to heal itself. You will heal, you've made a start by being on this forum!
Colly
 
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Hi Colly,
Wow...you can be proud of yourself. Love your description of Sauna Man..with all those confessionals it must have been one hot sauna that day. Thanks so much for sharing your story. In every story that is told (I find the longer and more detailed the better) I find bits of myself to explain and convince me I have TMS. Your advice to others also helps and your great sense of humour... (well I am an aussie...but living in Europe...how funny). I think your relationship with doctors reflects what a majority of TMS sufferers experience, visiting one doctor after another hoping for a diagnosis, explanation and a cure. In my desperation I´ve seen alot of doctors and can tell alot of stories. I´ve also come to the conclusion that especially in the "new-mode" field of alternative medicine there are alot of bogus natural "healers". I certainly have seen my fair share. I think the icing on the cake was when i was home last visit and had alot of symptoms. I went to an "alternative medicine" man. He tuned in on "one leg is longer than the other" and wanted to release my tight pelvic muscles through accessing them internally (sure you can work out what this would have meant). He went into a long description of how he would do it, what "tools" he would use and that a female assistant would be in the room as well for my "safety". It would only cost me $450. Well....that was enough to scare me away...but I must admit that in my suffering state i was contemplating for a second or 2. With so many of the differing diagnoses I´ve heard I have grabbed onto every straw, every diagnosis thinking "aah...that must be it" but really only TMS makes sense. On with the battle!!!!!!!
 
Oh Walt you're a sweetheart thank you! I've just been watching a story about the Orient Express and the presenter has an infectious laugh, so I keep laughing and remembering your Laughter Yoga chapter - you funny man!

Hi Slowena, you must forgive my late reply. I've been snowed under at work of late, and not been on the wiki. Your post brought back some uncomfortable memories of doctors suggesting strange things also. However, on a more humorous note, one of my 'alternative' treatments prior to my TMS discovery was getting Alexander Technique treatment. I had to pay about $600 for a week's sessions consisting of me taking my shoes off and walking around a room in circles and then practicing sitting and standing. I was so dizzy from walking in circles that I almost missed the chair a few times. I could have done this at home for free! Mind you had I not discovered TMS and this site I might still be in despair, as I was then. We hope to help you on your TMS healing journey. The TMS family here are wonderful source of support and hope.
 
Colly:
I congratulate you on your courage and your healing.
Thanks for taking the time to share your story. It does inspire us all.
Best wishes for more joy ahead.
 
Hi, Colly. I've never been in a Laughter Yoga class but that sounds good.
I have my own laughter class and it's just me laughing,
and if there's nothing to laugh at, I pretend there is.
My head and immune system can't tell the difference.

I mentioned before how much I enjoy DOWNTON ABBEY.
I hope you can order it from Netflix, starting with season one, and
see how fast you will be hooked by it. Great characters, story,
and how the Brits lived between the two wars.
 
Thank you so much for writing your story, Colly. I'm just beginning down this road, which sometimes feels so impossible. But stories like yours give me hope and a sense of wonder, which seems so important. Much appreciation to you.
 
An amazing story, I am so glad you too found Sarno et al.... There must be so many millions of people out there suffering without knowing about - or being able to integrate the knowledge of TMS. It is so important for this forum to continue and thrive and for the books/cds etc to circulate so that more people can hopefully heal.
 
Colly said:
Oh Walt you're a sweetheart thank you! I've just been watching a story about the Orient Express and the presenter has an infectious laugh, so I keep laughing and remembering your Laughter Yoga chapter - you funny man!

Hi Slowena, you must forgive my late reply. I've been snowed under at work of late, and not been on the wiki. Your post brought back some uncomfortable memories of doctors suggesting strange things also. However, on a more humorous note, one of my 'alternative' treatments prior to my TMS discovery was getting Alexander Technique treatment. I had to pay about $600 for a week's sessions consisting of me taking my shoes off and walking around a room in circles and then practicing sitting and standing. I was so dizzy from walking in circles that I almost missed the chair a few times. I could have done this at home for free! Mind you had I not discovered TMS and this site I might still be in despair, as I was then. We hope to help you on your TMS healing journey. The TMS family here are wonderful source of support and hope.
Click to expand...
I love laughter Yoga, you just start laughing with about 10 to 15 other folks laughing with you and the next thing you know you are rolling in the floor releasing all of these feel good healing hormones throughout your body, it's awesome Colly. Awesome. :)
 
Colly said:
Good day readers. I'm new to this site but have been checking in for almost a year now since discovering Dr Sarno and the term 'TMS'. I've had TMS for over twenty years and am now almost completely pain free, all thanks Dr Sarno, Steve Ozanich’s book “The Great Pain Deception” and TMS wiki forum.

My story starts in London at the age of twenty one. I had moved from my home town of Dublin (Ireland), and unbeknownst to me was struggling with homesickness. My sisters were my best friends, but my so-called best friend at university had coaxed me away to spread my wings, and all the while I was screaming 'NO' inside. Fortunately, I found work in the music industry and was blessed working with a delightful group of fellow music-lovers who quickly became my new family. It was such a joyful and vibrant place to work. I shared an office with my boss the Accountant. He was a very clever and fun guy and we worked really well together, sharing laughs every day.

Then things took a turn… He took me to several concerts, and while I thought nothing of it he interpreted it as me being attracted to him. Once he realised I was not interested the atmosphere in that little office became awful and I started to dread going into work. It broke my heart as I absolutely loved working there.

During this period, I came down with shingles, which knocked me out for a few weeks. Then out of the blue, I started getting really bad foot pain, in the ball of my right foot. I had always loved walking and would commonly walk the 10k's home from work. I enjoyed tennis and badminton regularly, so this pain abruptly stopped me in my tracks. Being proactive I went to the famous Harley street (supposedly housing the best medical brains in England). My first few appointments with the podiatrist went well, as I had high hopes that a bit of prodding and ultrasound would do the job. As the weeks went by, I became more and more desperate, as my pain has not diminished. After a dozen visits I remember leaving the podiatrist after receiving a curt dismissal from him, essentially he not believing my condition had not improved. I felt hurt, helpless and frightened, as this was starting to impact greatly on my life.

Several other Harley Street so-called specialists later and considerably poorer I was worse, as not only had my pain continued, but added to this pain was the discomfort of orthotics, which squashed my feet in my shoes and left me hobbling around. All walking journeys now required planning and kept to a minimum, any running around the tennis court left to the memory, and I my despair deepened.

During this period I met my now husband and we toyed with the idea of moving to Australia to start a new life together. I recall a week before my first flight to Australia for a holiday to test the waters, my foot pain intensified.

Western Australia was paradise, with the most stunning beaches and skies a deep blue day after day. I was smitten. We packed up and moved to the sun drenched country. While my foot pain continued, I was happily distracted in my new country, enjoying the outdoor lifestyle of swimming every day. Swimming gave me a new freedom and I enthusiastically embraced this new hobby. After one year I received news of my older sister's wedding, and was excited by the prospect of returning home for this wonderful occasion. For some insane reason, I thought me going home after only one year in Australia would be too unsettling so I decided not to go. This proved to be a very bad decision. I suffered deep regret and sadness over this.

I continued on as normal in my efforts to settle into my new country, but started getting knee pain, in both knees, which I thought very odd. Off I went to a rheumatologist, and, to my shock found myself being poked and prodded in my shoulders and lower back. I was then told I had Fibromyalgia, given a pamphlet of this 'disease' and sent on my merry way, after emptying my pockets again.

I remember reading the symptoms on my journey home and thinking they had given me an incorrect diagnosis. I hadn't (at that stage) the multitude of symptoms listed, and only pain in my knees. I promptly rang them back whereupon was informed the other symptoms would "kick in in the next few months"!

I spent the next few months anxiously awaiting the arrival of these symptoms, and they happily obliged… Chronic headaches, intense pain in my upper back like a feeling of a lead weight on my shoulders and chronic insomnia were a few of the many symptoms which had arrived. One night while staring at the ceiling I recall feeling a numb leg, which was terrifying, as my youngest sister had not long ago been diagnosed with MS. My foot pain - the loyal companion - was ever present, but now I had all this other pain to deal with. Life became a real struggle by then, but somehow, instinctively I felt that movement was the key to dealing with this, despite feeling on some days that movement was the last thing I could do.

I decided to join a swimming club, which forced me to commit to five nights a week in the pool swimming to the demands and barking orders of the coach. Some nights felt excruciating, but I was determined to push through. Had I not been in the club I wouldn't have pushed myself anywhere near as hard, but keeping up with the other swimmers and making the coach happy became my focus. I cannot recall when the Fibromyalgia disappeared. It wasn't sudden; more like a slow melting ice berg…

By this stage, living in Australia I had seen several additional orthopaedic surgeons about getting my foot operated on. I recall having several MRI's and some weird scan where I had to drink dye, with each of them showing up nothing. Most of these surgeons had appalling interpersonal skills, and each visit left me feeling even more desperate and dejected.

On one occasion one specialist - who I managed to catch on a good day – invited me to attend an information sharing session with other specialists. I was thrilled at the opportunity to have my mystery foot condition examined by several medical specialists, so off I hobbled. My hopes however, were quickly dashed as I watched the blank and head-scratching expressions from the panel of experts. I left the room completely broken. By now my foot had a permanent pinkish colour, distinctly different to the other foot, and was told it would be unlikely I would be able to go under the knife as it looked like I had Sympathetic Dystrophy in my foot.

I did have one win however: I had beaten Fibromyalgia. The neurologist who had initially confirmed my Fibro diagnosis congratulated me saying that it was rare to beat Fibromyalgia and I was one of the lucky ones. At that point I hadn't connected the joy of swimming and my recovery. If only I had realised this I would have saved myself from another ten years of pain…

Another win was to follow, well a win of sorts: I had found a surgeon willing to cut open my foot and remove the nerve, hoping that this would resolve the pain. Under I went and, initially happy though sore from the operation, the pain quickly returned.

I must add that I was working in a job at the time which was very demanding, in a very competitive back-stabbing and toxic work environment. I worked in a male-dominated division, and in order to fit in I had to be “one of the boys” or received harassment. They even called me “Jimmy” as they couldn’t deal with me being female. I was constantly on edge and not myself. Guess what: goodbye Fibro; hello back pain!

Back pain then consumed my life for several years. Many visits to physiotherapists and Chinese doctors followed. One Chinese doctor was very creative. He would apply an acupressure pen for several seconds, maybe as five or ten max, and then send his patients on their way. His waiting room was always full to the brim and he had a lovely shiny Porsche parked outside; hey nice work if you can get it. I tried this treatment desperately believing he was performing miracles. I also tried a radical physio treatment which involved me lying on what looked like a medieval torture table, while my spine got stretched. It’s almost funny now thinking back, but it was no laughing matter then. I ended up in a 'Pain Management clinic' feeling like a freak, and agreeing to nerve block treatment, which thankfully I pulled out of at the last minute.

Apart from my swimming I developed my skills in singing and got involved in singing classical and folk regularly. The back pain came and went yet I never stopped to think about what had made it go away, only to return with a vengeance; sometimes with the most innocuous movement like reaching for a saucepan whilst cooking. I rarely had back pain when singing though… once again, I didn't draw the connection.

Off we moved again; this time to Melbourne (Eastern Australia), and though foot pain was ever present, my back pain was under control, with - in my opinion - my new found physio wisdom and daily stretches.

What then followed was a multitude of other ailments, some of which were: TMJ (put down to too much opera singing), crippling neck pain (put down to awkward sleeping on cold mattress whilst camping), anal pain (which felt like a golf ball had got accidentally lodged there, and not put down to anything strange I assure you)! The list goes on: Tinnitus, Reynaud’s and especially scary - Arrhythmia. I can pinpoint exactly what triggered my Arrhythmia, and this should have been my light bulb moment, but I missed it again.

My fear of walking persisted but I decided to take on a 14k walk with some outdoorsy friends, not wanting to miss out on some fun. I became very anxious for several weeks before the walk, then attempted the walk fretting every kilometre "are we there yet", and the morning after woke up to crippling pain (Planter Fasciitis) in BOTH feet! It continued for several months until it suddenly vanished one day. Once again, I should have had that Eureka moment realising I had brought on and switched off my pain, but no, I still didn't get it.

During my Planter Fasciitis days I had the biggest sign of TMS healing staring me in the face. My friend had been doing EFT and believed in the mindbody connection, and one day when I was venting I “couldn’t stand” a certain group I was singing with (long story), she replied “Colly, listen to yourself, you’re saying you “can’t stand blah blah, but look down at your feet – see, you can’t stand”!

It was late November 2012, and I was involved in a hugely stressful project at work, working in a profession I was never that excited about and in a very responsible role. Critical and multiple deadlines and a relentlessly hostile environment became unbearable. I recall the moment when another bomb dropped… it was the middle of a meeting, feeling overwhelmed, when I felt unbearable pain in my shoulder. It was so debilitating I couldn't function. I took two weeks off due to stress, but told my work it was RSI to avoid the stigma of me being labelled for my stress.

I had spent the previous few years with so many symptoms which came and went, but this one hit me like a train. I felt out of control and helpless not knowing what sort of work environment I would be returning to in such a condition.

After an intensive week of Alexander Technique and almost a grand worse off, with no improvement, I went to a sauna one chilly day to soothe my pain. Sitting on the upper bench was a guy dripping in sweat, looking like a seasoned sauna goer. We got chatting, and, as often happens in saunas (or as I call the secular confessional box), we both opened up about our lives. I told him about my pain and he looked at me saying, "you know we only ever use about 10% of our body's ability to heal ourselves; so you can harness that other 90% if you want to". Those words sounded like Big Ben going off. I left feeling intrigued and slightly excited. Being this desperate I was so ready to hear this, and I rushed home, brewed a cuppa tea and tapped into Google" RSI success stories".

I watched several ‘you tubes’ and each of them mentioned the Dr Sarno. I promptly ordered "The Mindbody prescription" on 'Audible', not willing to wait for the book to arrive from Amazon. While listening to the reader's voice, I started churning through all the issues in my life contributing to my pain. The constant longing to be home had never left me, and each move took me further away from those I loved most. I also realised I had unresolved issues with my father which I had not addressed. We had never developed a close bond, and I had spent my life missing and craving this.

These were the two dominant reasons for my pain, and the stress of working in a profession I'm good at but not passionate about, contributed also. The multitude of symptoms I had over the years left me in a constant state of fear of anticipating something else hurting. Waiting for this pain was me inviting it in.

My Dr Sarno discovery and subsequent insight came just before Christmas 2012. I quickly embraced his TMS teachings, and made some decisions about how I would manage the stress at work on my return. Not fearing my pain anymore and with my plan for recovery set in motion I flew to Western Australia to see my relatives, and two days into my holiday I suddenly realised my shoulder pain had disappeared completely.

That's when it hit me. I had started the recovery, and I would heal myself. I promptly ordered several other books to swot up on TMS healing techniques. One of these was Steve Ozanich's 'The Great Pain Deception'. The cover looked a little scary, but having flicked through it I thought I'd give it a go, after all this was an account of another real person who had their own TMS battle and had recovered. This book was so compelling I couldn't put it down! Every page resonated with me. His unimaginable suffering and ultimate recovery was astonishing.

By then I was walking short distances but was still very tentative. Then one day while reading Steve’s book, I turned the page to reveal the section about Steve having watched a Nike commercial "Just do it" and this motivating him, despite his disabling pain, to run around the block. This was like a bolt of lightning! With my heart pounding hard, I closed the book, and sat staring at the wall for a minute visualising myself running. His courage was contagious, and every fibre in my body was fired up and ready. I got off the couch, put on my runners and out I went. Despite having spent the previous twenty years fearful of just walking, I decided to stare down my fear and shuffled around the 2k circuit without stopping. I didn’t care who saw me doing my granny-shuffle, I just kept going. With a surge of euphoria I fell into the house laughing and crying. My recovery had taken a massive leap forward!

I've been running almost every day since, building up distance in small increments. I've suffered pain along the way but told myself it's okay and to keep going. My fear of pain no longer consumes me, though the early set-backs did dent my confidence. I've just signed up for my first ever 5K run and my goal is to run a 10K run in Dublin with my sisters in 2015.

Steve Ozanich has been an enormous help to me, always encouraging and motivating me to keep going. I'm forever grateful for his help and guidance, and keep his book on hand at all times.

In summary: my back, neck, shoulder and Fibromyalgia pain is gone, TMJ and Tinnitus is gone also. My circulation has improved with exercise and I no longer have the pinkish hue to my foot. My Arrhythmia comes and goes, but no longer scares me, plus have had cardio checks and received a clean bill of health. My anal pain is gone (phew) and Planter Fasciitis too. I do get a few twinges here and there, but I talk to my pain (yes occasionally out loud), and tell it off sometimes, and it too passes. When pain arrives, I always shift my focus to what’s happening in my day, or week that could be creating this distraction. I have cherry-picked many useful tips from Steve’s book and the TMS forum, and keep a notebook of these pearls of wisdom to refer to in times of need. I also use imagery and visualisation techniques a lot, for example, an image of me running freely, growing in strength with every run. I enjoy the ache of sore muscles after my run, knowing that this is my body growing in strength. It’s so exciting to be this free, but it’s a constant work-in-progress, and I’m excited about the learning that lies ahead.

I wanted to write this story to show that the belief in TMS healing and an unwavering determination to heal is paramount, and a joy of life and freedom of movement will quickly follow.

If I ever meet Mr sauna man in the street I will run up to him and hug him, though it's very unlikely I would recognise him with his clothes on hahaha!

Colly
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wow,
this is quite a recovery story and especially the bit about the medical specialists being confounded. I went to a good few but couldn't afford to go to others after being relieved of £150 by a Rheumatologist inside 15minutes. it is so frustrating that Pain specialists in the NHS seem to be unaware of alternatives. It is al about managing pain, if that didnt depress someone they would need their head examined!
In March I had my third Pain specialist appointment and was full of hope (after my prescription for Prozac was kicking in).
I regaled him of a tale of how I had got some relief with Body scanning, a mindfulness technique(after overcoming initial scepticism) and he just rolled his eyes.
I wish they had some sort of chronic pain stimulation device to use on people like this. then he told me my back would never get better and I should learn to deal with it and I would know real pain when I got married!!
talk about Nocebo.
I'm nowhere near recovered and still find it hard to believe, but I am slowly breaking my old beliefs.
when you've tried so many things desperation takes hold, and a pattern of coping becomes very difficult to overcome. I honestly can't remember a day without pain since early 2008. the thought of being pain free is to me like winning the lotto. will update on progress if significant goals are achieved.
Thanks again Colly for sharing that!
 
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