My history so far. Help

I'been on this Journey quite some. But anyway most of My symptoms are gone. I now do almost everything. I'm back to exercices besides a couples of symptoms here and there i'm back with My Freelancer carreer as a pixelartis im drawing ando painting often. I'm living My life again. But u see still the pain in My leg hasnt gone just yet. But cames and goes along the day. But was never to painfull. Till yesterday i spended the last couple of weeks listening mindbody books un audible. And i started to write again this time with more Freedom and a diferent mibdset. Nevertheless some symptom inperactive started to hit here and there but nothing un particular painfull. Till yesterday that i got a phone call from My swimming trainer asking me why i werent return. For money reasons or si i belived i was a month off the pool. But after that call i started to feel fear, anger, anxiety for some odd reason My leg pain started ones more and harden than ever. After a couple of hours thinking about shy something linda silly came ti My mind and the pain went off complety. I as mad after My parents divorse den i was 11 i didnt return yo swiming class for ay leasr 10 years why? They took everything from me i thouth. I was really good for My age ones of the best un the stage no wonder why i was si mad. Not more competitive swming se class for me between other stuff. But that breath moment without pain give me all the aswers that i need. Anyway today has been the most dificult day in allá My Journey. My leg hurts si much whenk was painting also My back that most of the time doesnt botherme. Mu troaht hurts. My hands does as well i feel numbness in them when i'm sleeping. This day really sucks i hace to Say it. Btw this morning before everything went to hell. I started to think about that subjet i feel so anger and sadness i wanted to cry i went to the bathroon i was in mild tears and red if there it's more info about My past and My rage i want go go deep but idk If the more close o get to those feelings the more i feel physical pain. Thanks.

 

I'm in the phone and barely can use the sceen so there are some mistakes in My typing sorry for that.

 

Hi emporeon027.

It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of different emotions right now. And it appears that you're connecting your pain issues and emotions together. That is very good!

What I've learned is to allow myself to sit, watch, and feel those emotions without judgement. And do the exact same thing for the pain. Without judgment, calmly sit and watch the pain in my body. This teaches my brain that the emotions and pain are not dangerous. Meditation can be helpful for this process.

Alan Gordon does a good job of explaining this in his somatic tracking sections.
New Program - Day 9: Somatic Tracking | TMS Forum (The Mindbody Syndrome) (tmswiki.org)
New Program - Day 10: Somatic Tracking II: Anxiety Strikes Back | TMS Forum (The Mindbody Syndrome) (tmswiki.org)

Also since you're experiencing an increase in your pain, you may want to look at this.
New Program - Day 19: Extinction Bursts | TMS Forum (The Mindbody Syndrome) (tmswiki.org)

I think your on the right track, emporeon027. Best of luck to you!