Day 1 My first day

Hi,

today I'm starting with day 1 of the structured educational program now that I almost read through "Healing Back Pain". An old friend of mine recommended to read the book because it helped him a lot.

This is my story:
I am 39 years old and suffering from lower back pain for over 8 years now. I cannot tell how many different therapies I tried. None of them helped. I often began very enthusiastic when I tried something new. But up to now it always ended up with disappointment. I also tried surgery. Of course it didn't do any good either.
My pain is quite steady. Most of the time I don't have ups or downs. The pain is just always there. It's the last I think of before I sleep and the first I think of when I wake up.
The good thing is that I can live a rather normal life anyway. I can move, I can work - I even can do a little bit of sports. The pain stays always at a level where I can barely get along with it. Yet I am desperately willing to get rid of it.
The pain started when me and my wife (my girl-friend at that time) moved into our first own flat. Besides the pain my life has developped very pleasing. We married, got our first little daughter, built a beautiful house and moved and finally got our second little daughter one and a half year ago.
That's a fact that let me be in doubt while reading the book. How could I repress anger while I have a lovely family, a good job and no financial worries? But maybe it has something to do with responsibility and caring. I'm counting on that.
Or maybe I'll find some repressed anger when I dig deep enough after all. I'm looking forward to what happens with me during the next weeks...

Dan

 

Sometimes a part of us resents a situation even when it is what we want. Especially if it
triggers stuff that stressed us out in childhood... I have such a wonderful life especially now I have overcome the TMS, but I still have times when I resent/get angry at my life - just now I know to process and accept it - not repress it!

 

Hi, Dan. You seem to be a very caring person, and your pain may come from wanting to be the perfect father and husband, and dealing with the responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood.

I can tell you that the SEP program and journaling led me to discovering some very big repressed anger from my childhood when my parents divorced when I was seven. Keep journaling and you will discover the emotional causes of your pain. Journaling helped me to understand the reasons why my parents divorced and it helped me to forgive them. The forgiving led me to me healing from severe back pain.

Steve Ozanich writes in THE GREAT PAIN DECEPTION about his repressed anger because a doctor botched an operation on his wife. It left him in great emotional and physical pain but he learned through TMS to recover. His book is just about a must-read for anyone with TMS, like most of us.

Scott Brady, MD, writes about repressed anger in his book, PAIN FREE FOR LIFE. He calls emotions molecules of anger and irritation and fear and guilt.
"These dangerous molecules have been stored in boxes deep in your subconscious mind, where they serve to over-activate your autonomic nervous system. The molecules last for years and years unless you've processed them. With this step of journaling out your emotions, you will actually bring these molecules out of the boxes and start processing them -- by thinking about them consciously. In this way, you'll neutralize their negative effects on your body."

 

I can't add anything better to hecate and Walt except to say Welcome, Dan, and keep us posted! We're here for you

 

Thank you very much for your comments. It's really amazing to see your commitment.
I already came across the book from Steve Ozanich while reading the forum and decided that this could be my next book after Healing Back Pain. It will take more time for me to read it, as English is not my native language and the book hasn't been translated yet. But I'm sure this time will be a lucrative investment..

 

Hi Dan,

Walt really has fantastic advice, the only extra information I'd ad, and something that I feel gets looked over often, is that pain can also be triggered, intensified, or prolonged by seemingly "happy" events. For instance, marriage, starting a new job, having a child.... the former two were my case. I got married and started and a new job and a few months later my back issues started. Dr. Sarno mentions this in Healing Back Pain, and it is also mentioned in other TMS literature, but the tendency is to focus on "negative" events. But like Walk says, behind these "happy" events, there can be latent resentments, anger, rage, fear, insecurity etc.... these emotions will surface if you journal. Lastly, some of the psychotherapists really believe that in the end it's a matter of getting in touch with the repressed emotions, not the realization of what is causing them. I believe Alan Gordon really drives that home, this idea that realizing you're, say, upset with your wife or boss isn't going to cure you; but tapping into the emotions surrounding the event/situation, experiencing them, then releasing them, that is what tackles TMS.

Anyhow, you're on the right track - just keep up the work and you will heal. I did, I'm nearly 2 months post this Structured Educational Program and back pain is GONE!

Kevin

 

I found the original passage that always spoke to me:

Acute attack or slow onset, why does the pain begin when it does? Remember, the physical incident, no matter how dramatic, is a trigger. The answer, of course, is to be found in one’s psychological state. Sometimes the reason is obvious— - a financial or health crisis, or something one ordinarily thinks of as a happy occasion, like getting married or the birth of a child. (Sarno, Healing Back Pain, p. 16 - emphasis mine)