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My Feet Are Crying

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by donavanf, Aug 23, 2019.

  1. donavanf

    donavanf Well known member

    I have a LONG history of TMS, diagnosed by Dr. Schecter. I was able to finally completely heal from YEARS of shoulder and neck pain, using a combination of journaling, re-reading Steve O's book, and the SEP. About two and a half months ago, I sprained my left fourth toe. My GP Doctor told me it would heal in a few weeks. It took almost two months. I FINALLY realized that it was TMS, and after affirming, "I am willing to feel uncomfortable emotions. Stop the toe pain"...and COMPLETELY ignoring my toe pain and not babying it (I was in a surgical shoe limping around, despite X-Rays and scans showing nothing wrong)...it healed.

    But during that time, I began to really feel something was really wrong with my health. I am a TERRIBLE hypochondriac (TMS) and constantly battling symptoms all over my body.

    During the sprained toe episode, I asked my doc to do some blood-work. Everything came back normal, except for a SLIGHTLY elevated ANA (auto-immune/inflammation) test. Doc ran further tests for Lupus (mom had it) and 11 other auto-immune issues. ALL negative. Phew. He told me that "a slightly high ANA without symptoms of an autoimmune disease, and all other sub-tiers of the test as negative, is almost 100% likely to be clinically irrelevant". When I asked him to explain, he told me about 5-10% of the healthy population has a positive ANA, and it's often a false flag. He suggested a re-test in 6 months.

    But he also mentioned (casually), "You know, you should see a podiatrist. You have hammer toes and a bunion, and might need orthotics...also when we re-test that ANA, we'll check for Rheumatoid factor. I know you mentioned your sister has it. You might have very early onset Rheumatoid Arthritis, but still, in the absence of symptoms and with an ANA that close to negative, I doubt it...because if it WERE RA, well, you'd have pain not just in one toe, which was a sprain, but ALL OVER both feet, and in all your joints".

    Well..I didn't think much of it, and I was happy that my sprain was getting better. But I did begin to go down the rabbit hole of studying up on Rheumatoid Arthritis. My sister has it, but it's very mild. She also has SEVERE TMS. Though, she completely refutes it.

    I now realize that it's a family trait. Dad's "back went out" whenever he was stressed about money and my mom had ALL kinds of pains and stress. Sadly, she died of lung cancer. I watched her die. Lots of deep sadness there. But I digress.

    Back to my feet.

    Both my feet are hurting. Started in the toes, and it's "spreading" into both feet now. All toes. I recently went to a shoe store and they looked at my feet and talked me into buying an orthotic because they told me I "have problematic feet, to be sure".

    Since putting the orthotic in my shoes, my feet feel even WORSE. My "bunion" which has been there for 10 years and never caused me ANY pain at all, is excruciating. My feet "burn" and now, much like when my neck and shoulder was hurting in 2015, whenever I become "upset" or get anxious or sad, my feet light up like I've poured gasoline on them, and it's getting WORSE by the day. I called my doc and he said, "Go to a podiatrist, but for sure this doesn't sound like Rheumatoid Arthritis, thats a very slow onset disease. This might be tendonitis, or you might need bunion surgery". I got off the phone and limped around, and my feet hurt as I write this.

    Is this TMS/Symptom imperative? Should I return that orthotic and go for a walk? I am thinking of my feet (and scaring myself) 24/7.

    Feet feel worse from exercise, so I've become as sedentary as I've been in months. My friend (who actually has terrible Rheumatoid Arthritis) told me this does NOT sound like RA. She says she feels better from exercise, and when I described my pain (aching all over both feet like muscle soreness and burning) she said, "Oh, mine is just pain in the joints. It usually gets better the more I walk around, and it's mostly stiff first thing in the morning". Mine (much like my neck and shoulder was) is BETTER when I get up and WORSE as my day progresses. In other words, worse as I get more engaged with stressful life factors. And worst at night, as I lay in bed, after thinking about my feet ALL day long, and as I lay there worrying about my life.

    I am a complete mess, and CONVINCED I have a serious autoimmune disorder, or might need "bunion surgery" despite it NEVER hurting before, my conscious mind knows that my foot pain is obviously the symptom imperative at work. But my feet are crying and REALLY doing a good job of distracting me from my life being broken.

    I appreciate any thoughts or help, particularly from people who have had foot pain.
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Oh, Donavan, I'm sorry to see you here again and suffering.

    The ironic thing is that the answer to your pain and distress is in your post - and I know that you know that!

    Like most of us, you've forgotten the work, you've become caught up in the stresses of daily life, and, let's be realistic, the incredible dysfunction of the world today. It's no wonder there is an epidemic of stress, of TMS, and of TMS backsliding. And if you are a highly-sensitive individual, also prone to anxiety and/or depression, it is all too easy to get sucked back down into negativity. I know this.

    The fix I recommend for you is to try something different, to keep you tuned in. I've been getting weekly boosts from two great podcasts, and I know that some people may be sick of hearing me talk about them, but damn it - these two amazing people have made a commitment to offer something new for us every single week, and every episode contains at least one, usually more, gem of TMS healing. And, you can go back and catch up on older episodes as well, which I highly recommend.

    The Cure For Chronic Pain, by @Nicole J. Sachs LCSW . Start with her very first episode. On Audioboom the link is https://audioboom.com/posts/7051500-my-story (Audioboom / My Story) (or listen with Apple or Google podcasts or any podcasting app)

    The Mind & Fitness Podcast, by Eddy Lindenstein (aka @LindenSwole). The one I just listened to is awesome - it's Eddy's first interview with Steve Ozanich back in January of 2018: https://audioboom.com/posts/6546970-014-steve-ozanich (Audioboom / 014 - Steve Ozanich)

    I don't use apple/iOS devices or apps, so I can't rate and review their podcasts, but it really helps them if you can do so, using iTunes or Apple podcasts, whatever they are now.

    Hang in there. Get in touch with the negative messages your brain is bombarding you with, and shut 'em down - then give yourself some love and some nurturing.

  3. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Orthotics... Wow I totally forgot about that particular placebo craze. My Son was always getting orthotic prescriptions. Unfortunately he did not inherit my perfect feet , and got his mothers Fred Flintstone feet. Hammered toes mixed with no arch.
    He is the best athlete in the family by a Mile. Can Run, Throw, Hit and Play baseball all around better than I ever could....all on the ugliest feet ever.

    We pulled his orthotics out of his cleat when he was 8 or 9. They were bugging him. We never told his Mom... just tossed them in the trash. He never used them again. We humored his Mom and let het get him new ones periodically...and they all went into the trash. He is 26 now and still has ugly feet, still has no issues and is still the strongest one in the family. Straight up BS.

    He DOES know about TMS. He told me about getting some during a state examination class the other day. He is in the process of moving. He has his first serious girlfriend in memory. He keeps getting promoted at work (even Over Me!) and his band is playing their biggest festival show ever next weekend... He had the savvy to jot that all down the second he felt some sciatica.

    If you go back and read your post it is all focused around symptoms and diagnoses. As Long as you go to Doctors you are going to keep getting the same. Spend some time and energy really praying, begging, clawing through that plaster cast of family anger and you just might break free... usually it just takes one little crack and the rest comes falling apart... But you won't get it on webMD or at your doctors office.

    We share this information as a group but the work is done alone. You can do it.
    venice, HattieNC, donavanf and 2 others like this.
  4. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    I had RSD/CRPS in both feet. Bone marrow edema in every toe (showed on MRI) Mottled colors, burning, stabbing. The pain was so severe I woulda almost vomit. I wore huge Crocs for over a year. It was TMS. I can wear sneakers, high heels ...everything. I'm totally better! You're fine.
    MWsunin12, Gusto, HattieNC and 4 others like this.
  5. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    @donavanf, I highly recommend you listen to @miffybunny and read her success story. She is 100% correct and has seen the absolute WORST of this type of pain - with visible symptoms that would shake the belief of most people. She has overcome it.

    Also, I will quote @JanAtheCPA, as this is also 100% true and needs to be reiterated:
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2019
    NameK, miffybunny, HattieNC and 3 others like this.
  6. donavanf

    donavanf Well known member

    Wow. This is an amazing story, and I'm so glad you're on the other side. A triumph, and an inspiration. My feet are better today, as I read and re-read these replies. Thank you so much!
    miffybunny and JanAtheCPA like this.
  7. donavanf

    donavanf Well known member

    Yes. I am going to return the orthotics I bought, luckily they have a 90 day "guarantee". I took them out of my shoes. It's interesting. All they really did was make me pay MORE attention to my feet and they are NOT comfortable. I spoke to a friend yesterday who said he did "bee sting therapy" for his "Lyme Disease" which the docs told him was at such low levels, he shouldn't be experiencing symptoms. This is an old friend of mine, who definitely suffers from a lot of TMS. Like me, he's had IBS, headaches, joint pain, anxiety attacks, and all kinds of symptoms. He told me that he gave up on the venom therapy and he feels better as he relaxes his grip on "trying every new cure under the sun". "Placebo craze" is definitely the right turn of phrase. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I loved your response, and it's VERY accurate. I need to indeed break that plaster cast of family anger. And indeed, it won't be found on WebMD, or as my GP calls it, "Dr. Google", the most dangerous quack there is. <3
    Lizzy and JanAtheCPA like this.
  8. donavanf

    donavanf Well known member

    Thank you, Jan! I will DEFINITELY check these out on iTunes. I am a huge fan of Nicole Sachs. Didn't even know she had a podcast! And I love Steve O. His book was my biggest breakthrough when I was first spelunking the rage caves of TMS. I think its time I re-read him. And for sure, listen to ALL those podcasts. Thank you for your kind support. Your words are always so smart and on target. :)
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  9. Lizzy

    Lizzy Well known member

    Hi Donavan,
    You have wonderful advice already from the members, but I will add evidence to your thread.

    I broke a bone spur in my foot a few years ago and yet, after it was healed, I had TMS pain for months. I had read Dr Sarno years before, but my foot got me here on the wiki. I had orthotics made to protect the bone spur from breaking again, BUT, then my feet hurt and I thought about them all the time. I got rid of my orthotics and I'm fine without them. Here's to you and your success!
    donavanf and JanAtheCPA like this.
  10. donavanf

    donavanf Well known member

    So I don't know if I will get a response here, but I recently found out that the "bunion" on my big toe (which has been painless till now) is actually a small bunion with a (fairly) small ganglion cyst attached to it. A ganglion cyst is VERY common, and since it is filled with synovial fluid (the fluid that lubricates our joints) and not cancerous or any kind of infection, it is harmless. Most people who get ganglions removed do so for cosmetic reasons.

    I've had this ganglion cyst for a decade, and it has NEVER caused me pain. As a former acupuncturist, I've seen many ganglion cysts (and even seen them come and go, if left alone) and every website from Mayo Clinic to the AAOS (American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons) says the same...

    "Although many ganglions produce no other symptoms, if a cyst puts pressure on the nerves that pass through the joint, it can cause pain, tingling, and muscle weakness. Large cysts, even if they are not painful, can cause concerns about appearance...Ganglion cysts are usually painless and not dangerous."

    But here's the "rub". Now that I have realized WHAT it is on my foot, and gone down EVERY RABBIT hole I can online (even scaring myself by watching gory minor surgeries and needle drainages for these things) my "Ganglion" is hurting. And it has NEVER hurt before.

    Last night, I began to wonder if it was TMS causing this, and I "talked to my foot" for hours. The pain is 80% gone today.

    So my question is, should I treat this as TMS? I don't really have the money to see a podiatrist right now and/or get any kind of procedure done. And even if I do have it "drained" I read that most of these things tend to recur. Ugh. I'm SUPER anxious about this and unsure how to proceed. I KNOW this is a "real" thing and I also know it has NEVER hurt before. Why would it start hurting ALL OF A SUDDEN? I'm not going to believe that after years of being there, it "suddenly" started "pressing on a nerve". Thoughts?
  11. donavanf

    donavanf Well known member

    Thank you Lizzy. I commented above about a recent discovery of a ganglion cyst that has never hurt before and all of a sudden started hurting. The body is strange. I'm definitely ditching my orthotics.
    Lizzy likes this.
  12. Lizzy

    Lizzy Well known member

    Good for you Donavan! The body is amazing and goofy all at the same time!!
    donavanf likes this.
  13. Sammie

    Sammie Peer Supporter

    I purchased orthotics that cost... well I’m embarrassed to say if they are not going to help! Been suffering from Plantar Fasciitis for seven months now. Saw Podiatrist, who took x-rays, said feet look great! So why all the pain? I have daily pain, just in left foot. Does this ever go away? When I bought the orthotics they told me to wear them for three months, and I would get all better. MBS...right? Anyone know something about this?:(
  14. donavanf

    donavanf Well known member

    Sammie, yes it can go away. You can't see "plantar fasciitis" on an X-Ray. It's fascia. They likely did the X-Ray to rule out a bone problem. It's TMS. I promise you. I've had "Plantar Fasciitis" three times and made it go away three times with a combination of walking a lot, JOURNALING using Nicole Sachs methods, and rolling my foot on a tennis ball. I actually DON'T recommend that last part. Rolling on a tennis ball (like an orthotic) won't hurt you, but those kind of placebo cures are just going to further tell your brain that your pain is structural and in your foot. I recommend seeing where in your life you feel angry, or upset, and where you are not standing up for yourself. Note when the pain is at it's worst. Are you feeling angry or upset? Emotionally? Does the foot pain come and go? Why is it only on one side? I'm telling you, it's TMS. Which is good news. Because you can reverse the wiring.

    Google, "Nicole Sachs Journal Speak" on YouTube, and also READ all you can on TMS. I especially recommend Steve Ozanich's INCREDIBLE book, "The Great Pain Deception", as well Sarno's book, "The Mind Body Prescription". The Sarno book is on Audible and the narrator is excellent. You can ABSOLUTELY get rid of your PF. And get RID of those orthotics. Believe me, don't feel bad about all you spent on them. Before I knew my YEARS of neck pain was TMS (have a look at my story), I spent THOUSANDS on a slew of docs, neurologists, chiropractic, acupuncture, massage...etc. All mostly ineffective. Massage was that was the only thing that helped, temporarily, as it is soothing to the nervous system. Check out Alan Gordon's AMAZING new series of videos and his program. It's free on here. Welcome aboard the TMS train, I wish you speedy healing. I'm sorry you are suffering. Plantar Fasciitis is MISERABLE. As you can see, I'm dealing with feet issues again myself, and I am treating it with KNOWLEDGE, as best I can. Knowledge that TMS can cause pain of all kinds, and it's neural networks misfiring, and not "Structural". Good luck!

    PS- I just bought some orthotics myself and guess what, despite all I know, I bought into what the lady at the running store told me. And guess what? My feet have been hurting WORSE since the orthotics. Why? Because that is thinking "structural". Your feet are saying what you cannot. That some part of your life is making you enraged. Let that part of you stand up. I'm right there with you, we all are. It's human nature. I believe everyone has TMS, and if you have the personality traits, it causes pain.
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2019
    Lizzy and NameK like this.
  15. Sammie

    Sammie Peer Supporter

    Thank you donavanf for responding. I have seen Dr Howard Schubiner and been diagnosed with MBS. I have been on this journey for a while now. I do weight training with a trainer. Have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia by four different doctors. Lots and lots pain. Nothing seems to help. I am familiar with Nicole Sachs and have read Steve Ozanich books . And like you seen all doctors and had all tests. Did massage for over a year, got no better, acupuncture also, same thing!

    Thank you for your reassurance about the Plantar Fasciitis, feel like giving up sometimes for sure!
  16. NameK

    NameK Well known member

    Well this would be a good time for me to test out my plantar fasciitis although with insoles or maybe it's because I've been wearing basketball shoes ever since I havent really gotten foot pain much since

    I'm not putting in my insoles when I go to Disneyland and also what the foot doctor said about how new nike and adidas shoes have awful arch support seems untrue
    if that were the case almost everyone I know would have bad feet.

    Plantar fasciitis was my first tms symptom along with my left calf feeling tight and hot especially when I would stand in the shower oddly enough I also had knee pain around that time these still crop up but not as often.

    My back pain has come back with a vengeance these past few days probably because I'm worrying too much about my vacation.

    I've come to notice that almost all of my symptoms are on my left side maybe because im left handed lol.
  17. Sammie

    Sammie Peer Supporter

    I was told to wear nothing but New Balance, I think this is probably BS! The Good Feet Store told me this while they were selling me the expensive orthotics. If It’s all MBS why can’t we wear any shoes we want? Why should we listen to doctors and the like? Just wondering.
  18. NameK

    NameK Well known member

    If you've seen a doctor and everything has come back cleanits it's most likely tms

    Yeah new balance, asecies, or the think the other brand was called Brooks is basically all sold there. Along with 400 dollar custom insoles that only last 5 years (more like 2.5 years ) also didnt our ancestors wall barefoot by there logic wouldnt that be awful for your feet as they have no support.

    To be fair the most foot doctors or the ones at these stores are taught just the pshyical and structural side of things.

    The foot doctor I saw said at the end of every summer she has people coming in complaining about foot pain because they wore flip flops all summer long. But I know people who always wear flat shoes etc and there feet are fine.

    Them saying that all these new shoes (nike adidas, etc having no support for your feet isnt true.

    The shoes we have now are alot better then the ones 50 years ago I'm sure.

    Plus they are simlair to a pshyiotherapist in that they believe your foot being flat can cause calf tightness, Achilles pain, back pain etc. And the insoles are supposed to help alleviate symptoms but all do is enforce that you have a foot problem. but my left calf is still tight I still get achilles,knee pain on occasion

    They are a business at the end of the day and it kind of reminds me how a dentist will say yep you need braces.

    Again I never got xrays for my foot it just hurting months after I started getting a tightness in my left upper calf (between my back knee ) then it turned into knee pain and then foot pain.

    But I've noticed on vacations that I've done alot of walking (vegas) I still wore my insoles (generic ones) and my basketball shoes bit my foot didnt hurt once.

    Coincidently my foot started hurting when I was playing basketball pick up games and it would hurt after. I never had foot issues before and they tried saying it was genetics but my dad's feet are fine same with my mom's. My younger brother gets occasional foot pain after soccer but he doesnt need insoles either.
    Dorado likes this.
  19. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    We CAN wear any shoes we want. I also threw out very expensive custom orthotics back in early 2011, on the advice of a cranio-sacral doctor, with absolutely no negative repercussions - but I didn't understand why there weren't any, until I read Dr. Sarno (and stopped going to the expensive doc who was trying to get me to practice mind over body, but never explained it in a way that I "got").

    Well, we have to recognize that until traditional practitioners accept the true power of the mind-body connection, they will continue to try to explain all of our TMS conditions, because patients are desperate for answers, and practitioners were trained to be able to provide answers. So they figure out a label that sounds like something, and attempt to apply solutions that ultimately do nothing, although the placebo effect can work for a while.

    The hard part is that we still count on medical practitioners to take care of injury and illness, but they don't know how to treat chronic pain that is emotionally based. We have to figure out on our own when to turn aside from traditional medicine and apply mind-body theories.
    donavanf and NameK like this.
  20. Sammie

    Sammie Peer Supporter

    Thank you JanAtheCPA and donavanf for you wonderful encouraging comments and advice! I have been checking Nicole Sachs out, thank you for that also. Looks like someone I will be listening to for sure! My left foot is so painful that it keeps me scared quite a bit, alone with lots of other pains and insomnia is really bad! I guess you could say I wait to heal. “Is it going to be today”? And when it isn’t, I get very disappointed! So the Plantar Fasciitis has been going on for seven months and I’m ready for it to be gone!

    Donavanf you had great advice, thank you! I really need to check in on my emotional state. Like Nicole Sachs says, “you have to do the work” and I don’t want to! Must figure out why?
    JanAtheCPA likes this.

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