I read The Mindbody Prescription about 3 weeks ago and I totally identify with the TMS diagnosis. I play drums full time to make a living and along with repressed anger from my father dying at age 5, I've identified that I feel a lot of repressed rage towards the amount of pressure I feel being a professional drummer. I've had symptoms for about 2 years despite all the usual attempts to find relief. I read Sarno's book while taking a week off in the mountains and experienced a relief in symptoms with NO physical therapy of any kind. The problem is that as soon as I returned to my regular life, my symptoms returned. They've moved around from being in my arms, to my lower back and legs to my neck and shoulders. I'm so grateful for this wiki but it's hard not to feel hopeless from time to time. Some days are better than others. I've had days with no symptoms and I've had days that I've felt suicidal because I'm tired of dealing with this stuff. It seems like all I've thought about for the last 2 years is the pain. My whole life has revolved around doing yoga, the Alexander Technique, Tai Chi, P90x, quitting various substances and food items, not practicing, hating touring and playing all because of the pain. I'm done being in pain all the time. I'm done putting my life on hold for this. I've started counseling and quit all form of PT. I've been journaling and reading a lot. I've been trying to be aware of my thought patterns, my inner bully and all that. I feel hopeful and hopeless at the same time. I need help. What else can I do? Am I pressuring myself too much even in my recovery? Should I start practicing again even when I feel my mauled begin to tense? Should I continue my Alexander Technique or Tai Chi lessons? So many questions, I know. Thank you in advance for any help or advice.