I will start off with how this began in the hope that one day if someone else experiences the same problem it may help them. To be honest I am also looking for a way to journal my experience and vent some of the frustration I feel and have felt, all year. At the start of this year I was diagnosed with a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) the first one I have ever had and I am a 24 year old female. After taking antibiotics the feeling of irritation and discomfort remained. I work in the medical field so instantly feared the worst when the feeling did not subside. I googled my symptoms and after discovering "Interstitial Cystitis" I self diagnosed and spent months extremely anxious, monitoring every symptom I felt. My symptoms worsened and got so bad I ended up in the emergency department praying someone would help me. I did not want to have a cystoscopy as I feared it would do more damage. I lived in constant sorrow agonizing over my "damaged" bladder, imagining my future of not being able to have children, being in pain etc. I obsessed over the IC forums, looking, searching for anything and spent thousands on supplements with no relief. I obsessed over the symptoms I was feeling and spent many days which I would normally enjoy out in nature or socialising in bed with a heat pack between my thighs in constant awareness of my symptoms and researching the 100th supplement to help the pain. I began to feel violated and victimized by this pain I was feeling. A lot of women describe pelvic pain as the worst fate a female can have, I believe this is because it interrupts our sacred feminine energy and you feel almost punished. It makes you feel unattractive, scared and useless. I was beyond petrified of this "disease" progressing but tried to hide my fear from my family and especially my partner. I feared everyone thought I was crazy. I felt resentment to everyone around me and felt a lot of the time like I was living in a different dimension where it was only me alone with my fear. I guess my worst fear was being consumed with this and not having the life I had always dreamed of. Becoming consumed by fear at such a young age. So after months of supplements, obsessing and completely isolating myself I started taking magnesium and my symptoms vanished. I thought this was strange so I looked into it more. I believe the magnesium actually relaxed my nervous system not my bladder. I lived pain free not giving a thought to this condition for over 6 months. I am about to graduate from University after 4 extremely stressful years of a Registered Nursing degree, I am not sure if I will secure a job, I have recently moved house and my body image continues to worsen despite always being told I am beautiful by people around me. With all of this one day a week ago my symptoms returned, constant burning, occasional stabbing pains in pelvis, feeling of discomfort. I did a meditation and asked my body what it was trying to tell me and what did it really want. I was told that the symptoms are stress related. When I look back, for the last two years I have had one symptom or another. Be it rib inflammation (thought it would never go away became extremely anxious) to stomach pain (thought I had crohn's) People often say that Nursing students have hypochondria and laugh it off. This is extremely distressing and I've had enough. I think i've exhausted myself to the point where I dont even care any more if I do have a chronic disease. I think the hijacking of a human body into a diseased state is what terrifies me the most. I see it as being paralysed, as in your mind is completely free and healthy yet you are trapped inside a diseased body. I know this is a negative and fearful mindset and i'm willing to change and re think my perception of chronic illness. Not just to help myself but also my future patients. After reading about TMS I know this is what I have. Does anybody know if health anxiety can be directly related to TMS? I want my inner child back, the peaceful child who laughed and played without a care in the world. I am sick of living in a state of constant fear. My life is wonderful in comparison to others less fortunate so I feel guilty for being so consumed by my own fear. My father also has Multiple Sclerosis and I love him more than anything in the world. I believe my health anxiety is subconsciously linked to his condition. Hoping this forum will offer support and that I can support others through this difficult but most likely transformative time. I see it as an opportunity to re-haul my whole life and thinking process and come out healthier and happier on the other side!