Hi
@Amo8794
The description of your symptoms is dead on for mine. Plus I have more. They compounded after I had COVID this past Dec. As you read true stories on this wiki of others, you will see that it is totally possible for your brain to create all this. It seems inconceivable at first, but it’s true.
The good new is, you can heal. That is verified by those who have healed and are sharing their wisdom on this forum. The bad news is. It will take time and a huge amount of effort. But what choice do you have?
The best way to describe what happened to you is a nervous breakdown of your body. The stress caught up with you. And something else: your hidden reservoir of rage finally overflowed.
TMS seems to come out of nowhere, but actually, it brewed a long time then showed up.
Your first mission on your quest to heal is to gain knowledge. Dr. John Sarno is the originator of this mind-body concept, TMS. The easiest book to read by him is Healing Back Pain. Replace the words “back pain” in the book with all your symptoms. It’s all caused by the same thing and healed the same way.
As far as I’ve studied it out, there are 4 big components to healing:
1. Digging into your mental/emotional health (you have to be brave enough to do this)
2. Learning how to break the fear/pain cycle (calming your nerves and feeling safe again)
3. Looking into current stressors and tackling them, including personality traits that contribute to getting TMS
4. Having the grit to not quit no matter how hard it gets
What helped me a lot was to get psychotherapy (the kind I use helps with TMS and is called Internal Family Systems.) Also:
I started journaling a lot about what I’m angry about.
I started learning what’s perpetuating my anger in my life (unbeknownst to me before joining this wiki).
I started reading books and listening to podcasts mentioned on the wiki.
I Asked questions as I went along and wiki members brought me insight.
I tried to apply what I learned. Especially when I didn’t get it at first.
I spent hours on this wiki studying topics, doing searches and reading posts. And writing posts. It has been cathartic to do the writing too.
Recently, I started reading a book by Alan Gordon called The Way Out. It is very helpful! I’m getting results from it! (I will share more on this shortly)
I also like a daily YouTube video by Dan Buglio (
www.painfreeyou). He helps to calm you and teach you.
I have had TMS on and off my whole life, but nothing like the last four years. The symptoms are so widespread and as you describe. It’s hard to describe all of it!
I’ve been here since March. I am making headway. Very slowly. Just recently, my efforts are starting to show some results.
Don’t get discouraged that this journey seems hard. Probably being a marine will help you! Just dig in. You can do it. You are already absorbed in your pain. Why not make your efforts worthwhile? You will learn and change and grow and ultimately be wiser and healed. All of this: I’m learning from the healed ones, who I call “gurus,” on this wiki. Read success stories! Fight!
I’m pulling for you!