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Letting go/difficult family relationships

I wrote my hate my sister letter and I enjoyed it!

tomorrow I will do the forgiveness one.. I hope I enjoy it to!
 
Maribel said:
"My problem MAY be, though, that once I do the letters (which of course I won't send to my sister), I will forgive her so much I would let her back into my life, and it would all start again. "

You might have forgiven her on paper but you haven't cleaned up the abuse pattern in your brain!!

I though I was able to handle my sister - convenient distance and wisdom but I now realized that I had internalized an abuse pattern and chosen a partner just like her. A man with huge rage at his mum and is kind, helpful on the outside but given an opportunity will unload his tortured goal on you or his son.

So the three letters might be the thing to do, went your rage, realized why she build up her rage and forgive her, and finally most important accept and release the rage/abuse pattern in your brain!

This is an interesting side to read http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com (Narcissism Recovery and Relationships Blog | Melanie Tonia Evans)
Welcome to the Narcissism and Relationships Blog
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I took a look at the Melanie Tonia Evans website. Thanks for the suggestion. Her info led me to this Kindle book on Amazon dot com: Cognitive Dissonance: 153 Success Secrets. I wonder if the concept of cognitive dissonance is another massive self help issue/approach. I am through with taking on new "dig in" approaches to self help. My work is having quality of life, not constantly solving problems like I've spent most of my life doing. What do you think?
 
The goal is quality of life, making choices that honor what you need and what makes you happy.

The only problem is that unconscious patterns can play havoc with this goal - to me reading the posts of Melanie open a door in my understanding of my sister and husband dynamic, then dr Sarno opened another door about the connection between emotions and physical problems and let me to dig my family history.

I am working at cleaning up my patterns, but you can't clean up something you don't even know is defining your life!

So the answer are you at a point that nothing in your conscious/ unconscious is standing in your way to living everyday with ease and joy?
 
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