Thank you for your response,
@plum.
I have done the Alan Gordon program and I found it helped some. I also agree that a multi-faceted approach has helped me more than focusing solely on the writing side of things (and yes, I agree that it's almost impossible if not totally impossible to find that memory or trauma that set us off in the first place).
Right now I'm reading Dr Schubiner's book "Unlearn Your Pain" and while there seems to be an awful lot of writing exercises given in the book, which I found overwhelming (and which I did NOT do), Dr Schubiner did state early in the piece that
the writing exercises are merely suggestions to help the reader, but that not every exercise has to be done nor does one have to do the writing exercises at all; and it may be that all they need is to do mindfulness and some relaxation meditations, etc. I found some great affirmations to use so I can talk to the brain and reassure it that I'm in control and therefore I don't need the brain to keep sending the pain signals. I found that this has worked in some instances (but I've only just begun to do this in earnest). I also discovered that Dr Schubiner mentions the work of Eckhart Tolle. This was great to see because I have been helped a lot by Tolle's writings, and the way he sees things.
Like you, and others on this forum, I'm trying different things to see what works, plus I'm learning to accept that sometimes certain things will not work and, rather than get frustrated or angry, I try to distract myself instead. My need to FEEL SAFE is my number one goal. When I feel safe I notice I have less pain and of course I'm more relaxed. It's obvious to me that I haven't felt safe from a very young age (my father used to beat my brother and me with a leather belt, and he used the buckle end to boot). I grew up hating my father and at the same time "walking on eggshells" as it were, never knowing when his temper might explode. This was the perfect set up for my hypervigilant ways.
In fact, I can go even farther back than this. Believe it or not, I can remember a traumatic occurrence from when I was only 1 week old! For years and years I used to have this memory pop into my mind, but I always dismissed it as I thought it was impossible to remember something that happened when I was so young, but one day I told my mother that I remembered this, and she confirmed it. This left me feeling astounded. Amazing how memories can hang around from the time we are born (and even when we're still in the womb). When I was born, it was the custom to have the ears pierced of a baby girl (as family and friends always gave tiny gold studs as gifts to the new baby). Anyway, I had this memory all my life that I'm lying on the kitchen table on top of a blanket; I'm only about 7 days old, and this woman sticks a needle through each of my earlobes to pierce the ears. I'm screaming in pain and crying, and I can remember my mother helping to hold me and looking on. But all I see is the face of the woman who pierced my ears and I can remember the horror and the pain I felt.
I now believe this was the start of my "feeling UNSAFE" phase, which marked most of my life up to the present. Unlike Helen, however, it didn't make a bit of difference that I remembered this and other traumas. Also, regarding expressing anger, I have always possessed a bit of an aggressive streak in order to defend myself, and this is how I survived the bullies, and later my first husband (who made the mistake to try and choke me). My father also made this mistake when I was 18 years of age, but by this time I had some years of martial arts behind me and for the first time in my life I was ready for him. I broke the choke hold and pushed him away, telling him that if he ever touched me again I'd kill him. My first husband fared worse because we were at the beach and I punched him in the stomach really hard and then left him at the beach (to walk all the way home) while I drove off. Needless to say, neither he nor my father ever tried to touch me again.
But what I still fail to understand now is that everyone talks about letting out unexpressed anger, and yet I expressed my anger in so many ways over the years--and no, I didn't make a habit of going around bashing people--but I did manage to put a few bullies and sexual harassers in their place. Anyway, I feel I have more than expressed my anger in many ways, and I was never one to keep quiet either. I always told people what I thought, even if it meant having a big argument with a family member, a boss, or whoever. So you might say "I escaped, and even overcame, the proverbial lion" many times; but here I am, still battling with TMS pain.
What I do find helpful is understanding the mechanism of how the brain creates neural pathways for pain/anxiety/fear and how one can change this through a whole bunch of modalities, eg, meditation, pleasurable activities, learning new things, using visualisation, communing with nature, listening to classical music (especially Mozart!), and trying to live in the moment as much as I can. I also write fiction and this is a great outlet at times because my characters can do anything in my stories, and I get lost in my characters' lives. So you may say all this is a multi-faceted approach.
I also recognise that my biggest enemies are fear and anxiety, and I'm working on this as well, but I find that sometimes I become frustrated when I slip back or when I lose fear of one symptoms and another one pops up its ugly head. Out of the 34 TMS conditions (or mindbody syndromes--MBS or psychophysiological disorders--PPDs) I have about 11 of them. In a way, they are like the Hydra: If you cut off one hydra head, two more grow back in its place. And this, my friend, is the nature of TMS (at least for me).
In conclusion, I will not be engaging in all the writing exercises or talking to a therapist (during past years I tried several, at great cost to my pocket too, and this did not help me either). I think it was Steven Ozanich who mentioned Carl Jung? Well, Carl Jung used to consult the tarot cards as well, and so do I. I even consult the I Ching. I'm open-minded and I'll try anything... well, almost, but I'm still not quite there
I am still here. Still a work in progress.
I worked with the Protectometer and I found this didn't work too well for me, but I've taken what helped me from this book and the rest I've taken from the work of Michael Moskowitz. There are a few things I've taken from Unlearn Your Pain by Dr Schubiner, and this is mostly the dialogues I have with my brain. The book is great, but it does contain many writing exercises that I found overwhelming (even if I could keep up with them). In all fairness to Dr Schubiner, however, he does explain that some people do not need to write and that simply having the dialogues with the brain and practising mindfulness can do the trick too. And so I take a bit from every book in order to reprogram or rewire the brain. Sometimes it feels like there's two of me in one body, the real me, and Lizard (as I call my reptilian brain) 
But the good thing is that I have found nothing but helpful people on this forum, and so you yourself, and everyone on this thread, has given me hope that there are many of us who are kind and try to help others--the irony is that by doing this we are the ones who suffer. Go figure! 