Learned pathways and neuroplasticity is a medical dead end.

[Tennis Tom]

I agree with that Balto to a great extent, the theory that one gets more bees with honey then with vinegar. There's also the other side of the coin, when that approach hasn't worked for 50 or 1oo years--or longer, it may help to get the hammer out. Those with an open mind, when criticized, will step back and look at the criticism to view if there's merit to it and a need to change their ways. The "pain-industry" does not have to throw out the baby with the bath water. Modern ER medicine is a great advance in saving lives and dealing with structural symptoms, alleviating pain and suffering. Dr. Sarno mentions miracles of modern medicine like joint replacements. Doctors can still stay in business and make a living, but they may have to spend some more time getting acquainted and listening to their patients to correctly diagnose whether the source of the problem is psychosomatic or structural and make recommendations based on the patient's immediate needs, pain tolerance and personality.

 

[pspa]

Balto is undoubtedly right as a general matter of human relations, but as much as I hate to say it there is something about the medical profession that is incredibly resistant to change (in my opinion and experience). As I have posted, even mainstream journals like the NEJM have published studies calling into question the significance of the typical MRI findings in backs and knees that often will lead to surgical recommendations, but it seems many or even most surgeons haven't received the message. Not to open a can of worms but it seems that most psychiatrists just willfully ignore all the information that keeps coming out questioning the safety (and efficacy) of antidepressants. Certainly the explosion recently of opiod addiction and deaths attests to doctors ignoring the warnings that have been around for years. It doesn't surprise me given my own interactions with doctors, most of whom won't even look up from their laptops at you, much less engage you in conversation or listen to your ideas.

Of all the professions on earth, medicine is the one where professionals should be MOST open to change and to new evidence and ideas. But the reality seems quite the opposite.

Back to the topic, I don't think a hammer will work either, so I guess if one were to try anything it would be persuasion.

 

[pspa]

Two anecdotes from personal experience.

1. A few years back I was having a knee problem and I went to an orthopedic surgeon with a major hospital my PCP had recommended. I had previously had an MRI which I was told didn't show anything major, and I can't remember now why I was seeking a second opinion. This doctor, from his website, was an expert in cartilage replacement surgery. And sure enough, with literally NO physical exam, or asking any questions, he told me on the basis of the MRI that I unquestionably needed major cartilage replacement surgery.

2. Also years ago, I went to see a doctor about my neck issues. This doctor, from his website, was an expert in spinal injections. He did a very cursory exam, reviewed my records, and naturally told me I needed facet joint injections. I asked him why, explained that I had done a great deal of reading about facet joint syndrome and that I didn't have any of the hallmark symptoms, and also mentioned that the two doctors I had seen previously had not even mentioned it or injections. His response was that my MRI was fine and my neurological exam was normal, so it could only be facet joint syndrome; that I should not be my own doctor; and that he was shocked the other doctors had misdiagnosed me.

The world will not change easily, if at all.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I think you understand neuroplasticity and pain pathway, it may help some people heal a little faster.

I absolutely agree with you Balto! And, by the way, it's nice to see you again

 

[balto]

Yep! change is hard to do. My own brother, who is a conventional doctor, believes that Dr. Sarno is a quack scientist. He suffer from back pain for years himself and bought all kind of contraptions trying to heal his body. Even after he saw that I "cure" myself with mind body knowledge he still refuse to read any of Sarno's book I bought for him. They stick to what they know, what they have been trained to do for decades.
Neuroplasticity, the more I learn about it the more it seem to describe what I think is Conditioning. I really think that just 20% of our symptoms are tms/mind body, the rest are from conditioning. For example I got fired from a job that I really need or just broke up with the love of my life, a short time later, down and feeling depress, I got back pain or insomnia or IBS... I will continue to suffer from these symptoms until I either find another job, got another girlfriend, or accept the situation and say Fu_k it. Now if my negative situation is resolve and I still have pain then very likely it is due to "conditioning", what I think is the equivalent of neuroplasticity.
I used to get panic attack every time I drove through a tunnel or went to the supermarket. A friend of my often have all the symptoms and an allergy attack whenever he see any surface that is cover with dust that resemblance tree pollen. Some student I know always have ulcer attack 2 days before an exam. Some one else only have back pain attack at night right after he climb into bed. An old friend of my always have bad symptoms of ptsd whenever he see or hear a helicopter fly above.... I have much more example I want to give but just don't have the time to. I think when 2 events happened at the same time they associate with each other. It is like our muscle, tendons, ... all these body parts have their own memory bank. As soon as I see the tunnel I got panic attack. My body somehow associate the tunnel as a sign of danger and produce all the symptoms. I really don't think some bully beating me 30 years ago have anything to do with it. No repressed emotion smart enough to just trigger my symptoms only when I go through a tunnel.
It got to be conditioning.
Learn about conditioning and use that knowledge to rid yourself of all these symptoms. I truly believe the majority of our long time tms sufferers are suffering from symptoms due to conditioning and not repressed emotion. Repressed emotion maybe the trigger but fear and conditioning is what keep our symptoms alive.
Just my 2 cents.

 

[mike2014]

Yep! change is hard to do. My own brother, who is a conventional doctor, believes that Dr. Sarno is a quack scientist. He suffer from back pain for years himself and bought all kind of contraptions trying to heal his body. Even after he saw that I "cure" myself with mind body knowledge he still refuse to read any of Sarno's book I bought for him. They stick to what they know, what they have been trained to do for decades.
Neuroplasticity, the more I learn about it the more it seem to describe what I think is Conditioning. I really think that just 20% of our symptoms are tms/mind body, the rest are from conditioning. For example I got fired from a job that I really need or just broke up with the love of my life, a short time later, down and feeling depress, I got back pain or insomnia or IBS... I will continue to suffer from these symptoms until I either find another job, got another girlfriend, or accept the situation and say Fu_k it. Now if my negative situation is resolve and I still have pain then very likely it is due to "conditioning", what I think is the equivalent of neuroplasticity.
I used to get panic attack every time I drove through a tunnel or went to the supermarket. A friend of my often have all the symptoms and an allergy attack whenever he see any surface that is cover with dust that resemblance tree pollen. Some student I know always have ulcer attack 2 days before an exam. Some one else only have back pain attack at night right after he climb into bed. An old friend of my always have bad symptoms of ptsd whenever he see or hear a helicopter fly above.... I have much more example I want to give but just don't have the time to. I think when 2 events happened at the same time they associate with each other. It is like our muscle, tendons, ... all these body parts have their own memory bank. As soon as I see the tunnel I got panic attack. My body somehow associate the tunnel as a sign of danger and produce all the symptoms. I really don't think some bully beating me 30 years ago have anything to do with it. No repressed emotion smart enough to just trigger my symptoms only when I go through a tunnel.
It got to be conditioning.
Learn about conditioning and use that knowledge to rid yourself of all these symptoms. I truly believe the majority of our long time tms sufferers are suffering from symptoms due to conditioning and not repressed emotion. Repressed emotion maybe the trigger but fear and conditioning is what keep our symptoms alive.
Just my 2 cents.

Excellent post, Balto. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

 

[balto]

What I am saying is the conditioning, or neuroplasticity, is a creation of the mind. It created the tool to do it's dirty work. The tool does not cause the pain.

Of course it was created by the mind. We all know that. And I agreed the "tool" does not cause the pain, the tool is what keep the pain alive. Conditioning is not the original cause of the pain. it is what keep the pain alive long after whatever negative emotions we had are long gone.
Our body is an amazing machine, it will create short cute "pathway" to save our brain from doing all the work. Our hand know to instinctively pull back when it touch it a boiling pot. Our brain don't tell us hey you, pull your hand back, pull it back, it is a hot pot you're touching. When we hear loud explosion we instinctively duck. There is no time for our brain to tell us to duck. If we keep waiting for our brain to instruct us on every situation, the human race wouldn't exist. Our body learn short cut, it memorize the situation and produce the exact result every time we face the same situation again.
Our back pain maybe the result of a nasty break up with a long time girl friend. But if the pain still there after we had move on, found a new love, the pain is more than likely the result of "conditioning". And yes, I know. Conditioning was the mind's "tool". But if you don't tell people about conditioning, if you don't explain to them how conditioning work, they will not heal from tms. They will keep journaling for years looking and searching for that one "repressed emotion". That would be "criminal".

 

[plum]

Of course it was created by the mind. We all know that. And I agreed the "tool" does not cause the pain, the tool is what keep the pain alive. Conditioning is not the original cause of the pain. it is what keep the pain alive long after whatever negative emotions we had are long gone.
Our body is an amazing machine, it will create short cute "pathway" to save our brain from doing all the work. Our hand know to instinctively pull back when it touch it a boiling pot. Our brain don't tell us hey you, pull your hand back, pull it back, it is a hot pot you're touching. When we hear loud explosion we instinctively duck. There is no time for our brain to tell us to duck. If we keep waiting for our brain to instruct us on every situation, the human race wouldn't exist. Our body learn short cut, it memorize the situation and produce the exact result every time we face the same situation again.
Our back pain maybe the result of a nasty break up with a long time girl friend. But if the pain still there after we had move on, found a new love, the pain is more than likely the result of "conditioning". And yes, I know. Conditioning was the mind's "tool". But if you don't tell people about conditioning, if you don't explain to them how conditioning work, they will not heal from tms. They will keep journaling for years looking and searching for that one "repressed emotion". That would be "criminal".

Balto, you say so many things that are brilliant it is hard to pick out the finest but this post is pure healing gold. I know this insight will resonate with many people who are stuck in their healing. Bless you.

 

[plum]

Here are a few words from Monte Hueftle that may help lend some insight into how this conditioning occurs in our everyday lives.

(Taken from this page:

http://www.runningpain.com/important_tms_updates (The TMS Master Practice Program - The New-Sarno TMS Program - Important TMS Updates))

"Are repressed emotions part of the TMS syndrome?

Yes, of course, repressed emotional energy is one of the main ingredients causing inner tension in TMS! However, there are two big, huge factors that must be understood.

1. It is our day-to-day patterns of behavior and thought that are generating Inner Tension and

2. It is our day-to-day patterns of behavior and thought that are repressing our emotions (emotional energy).


This is day-to-day, moment-to-moment repression of day-to-day, moment-to-moment feelings/emotions and not this big huge and in many cases fictitious deeply repressed emotions from your childhood. What makes this day-to-day repression such a big, huge contributor of the inner tension in TMS is that it is Chronic. A TMS person has been chronically generating inner tension and chronically repressing emotional energy for 10-20-30-40 years. When you start changing or affecting how you are generating inner tension and repressing emotions right now, in the present, you can begin to reverse this cause/effect - mind/body syndrome right now, in the present.


TMS is a day-to-day, moment-to-moment chronic mind body syndrome with a strategy attached to it. The key to reversing TMS and living with TMS is understanding that the most important element is becoming aware of and affecting change in "how am I being right now".

--How you are being right now means you are either being distracted and "feeding" the strategy or you or genuinely thinking psychological.

--How you are being right now means you are generating a quality of energy that is communicating tons of tension/stress/pressure or you are generating a quality o energy that is being more open/flexible/balanced/aligned/allowing a little more often.

--How your are being right now means you are repressing emotional energy or you are being more open/allowing and experiencing your emotional energy more often.

--How you are being right now means you are in the future or past (unaware of the quality of energy you are generating and unaware that you are repressing emotional energy) or you are becoming more present-moment based where you are able to deliberately affect the quality of energy that you generate and you can intentionally choose to allow yourself to experience emotions instead of deny or avoid them. This is why the statement - Your healing practices are more effective and greatly enhanced in present time."

 

[Syl]

Here are a few words from Monte Hueftle that may help lend some insight into how this conditioning occurs in our everyday lives.

(Taken from this page:

http://www.runningpain.com/important_tms_updates (The TMS Master Practice Program - The New-Sarno TMS Program - Important TMS Updates))

"Are repressed emotions part of the TMS syndrome?

Yes, of course, repressed emotional energy is one of the main ingredients causing inner tension in TMS! However, there are two big, huge factors that must be understood.

1. It is our day-to-day patterns of behavior and thought that are generating Inner Tension and

2. It is our day-to-day patterns of behavior and thought that are repressing our emotions (emotional energy).


This is day-to-day, moment-to-moment repression of day-to-day, moment-to-moment feelings/emotions and not this big huge and in many cases fictitious deeply repressed emotions from your childhood. What makes this day-to-day repression such a big, huge contributor of the inner tension in TMS is that it is Chronic. A TMS person has been chronically generating inner tension and chronically repressing emotional energy for 10-20-30-40 years. When you start changing or affecting how you are generating inner tension and repressing emotions right now, in the present, you can begin to reverse this cause/effect - mind/body syndrome right now, in the present.


TMS is a day-to-day, moment-to-moment chronic mind body syndrome with a strategy attached to it. The key to reversing TMS and living with TMS is understanding that the most important element is becoming aware of and affecting change in "how am I being right now".

--How you are being right now means you are either being distracted and "feeding" the strategy or you or genuinely thinking psychological.

--How you are being right now means you are generating a quality of energy that is communicating tons of tension/stress/pressure or you are generating a quality o energy that is being more open/flexible/balanced/aligned/allowing a little more often.

--How your are being right now means you are repressing emotional energy or you are being more open/allowing and experiencing your emotional energy more often.

--How you are being right now means you are in the future or past (unaware of the quality of energy you are generating and unaware that you are repressing emotional energy) or you are becoming more present-moment based where you are able to deliberately affect the quality of energy that you generate and you can intentionally choose to allow yourself to experience emotions instead of deny or avoid them. This is why the statement - Your healing practices are more effective and greatly enhanced in present time."

This is the problem I'm having right now. I read all of Dr Sarno's books, Dr David Clarke's book, Dr David Hascomb's and Dr Howard Schubiner's, and I am having problems with writing about the repressed emotions that happened in childhood and during my youth. In fact, being a writer from an early age, I've written about all my issues and traumas, not once but many, many times, and yet I don't seem to be making much headway with all the chronic health issues I have, mainly IBS/functional dyspepsia and pelvic pain (pudendal neuralgia), irritable bladder, and other aches and pains.

I also looked into the work of Professor Lorimer Moseley in "Explain Pain" and Michael Moskowitz's "Transforming the Brain in Pain". Both these books touch on the whole thing of the link between emotions/trauma and the development of chronic pain and neural pathways of pain, but they don't prescribe writing tomes about our childhood traumas, and even what is happening now in our lives; instead, they talk about strategies to get rid of the pain eg. distractions (especially when we have pain spikes), reducing DIM/SIMs (as Professor Moseley puts it humorously)--DIM stands for "danger in me" and SIM stands for "safety in me", and so the object of this strategy is to reduce the DIMs in our life and increase the SIMs. Michael Moskowitz works with brain maps and visualising shrinking the pain centres, which are smudged and bigger in chronic pain. This is a visualisation technique, and one can be creative in how they do this, and alongside of this we are meant to have a few strategies which we can engage in when pain strikes, eg. play a musical instrument, have a coffee with friends, do something that brings us pleasure, etc, etc. There is a lot more to this, but the gist of it is that we don't need to write about our past and release repressed emotions that we're not even aware of. Even Dr Sarno says that repressed emotions in the subconscious are something we may never be able to reach.

After all the stuff I wrote about over the years, the many tears I shed, the forgiving I did, and on and on, I still cannot seem to get relief. The only things that have helped a little have been distraction (I am teaching myself how to play the piano) and trying to stay anchored in the present moment, as Eckhart Tolle teaches.

So I'm confused by those books that say we must write, list our traumas, do expressive writing, even therapy, and on and on. I would be appreciative if someone can clarify this a little more from their own experience. @plum, your post touched on the point I'm making. Any further insights?

 

[birdsetfree]

This is the problem I'm having right now. I read all of Dr Sarno's books, Dr David Clarke's book, Dr David Hascomb's and Dr Howard Schubiner's, and I am having problems with writing about the repressed emotions that happened in childhood and during my youth. In fact, being a writer from an early age, I've written about all my issues and traumas, not once but many, many times, and yet I don't seem to be making much headway with all the chronic health issues I have, mainly IBS/functional dyspepsia and pelvic pain (pudendal neuralgia), irritable bladder, and other aches and pains.

I also looked into the work of Professor Lorimer Moseley in "Explain Pain" and Michael Moskowitz's "Transforming the Brain in Pain". Both these books touch on the whole thing of the link between emotions/trauma and the development of chronic pain and neural pathways of pain, but they don't prescribe writing tomes about our childhood traumas, and even what is happening now in our lives; instead, they talk about strategies to get rid of the pain eg. distractions (especially when we have pain spikes), reducing DIM/SIMs (as Professor Moseley puts it humorously)--DIM stands for "danger in me" and SIM stands for "safety in me", and so the object of this strategy is to reduce the DIMs in our life and increase the SIMs. Michael Moskowitz works with brain maps and visualising shrinking the pain centres, which are smudged and bigger in chronic pain. This is a visualisation technique, and one can be creative in how they do this, and alongside of this we are meant to have a few strategies which we can engage in when pain strikes, eg. play a musical instrument, have a coffee with friends, do something that brings us pleasure, etc, etc. There is a lot more to this, but the gist of it is that we don't need to write about our past and release repressed emotions that we're not even aware of. Even Dr Sarno says that repressed emotions in the subconscious are something we may never be able to reach.

After all the stuff I wrote about over the years, the many tears I shed, the forgiving I did, and on and on, I still cannot seem to get relief. The only things that have helped a little have been distraction (I am teaching myself how to play the piano) and trying to stay anchored in the present moment, as Eckhart Tolle teaches.

So I'm confused by those books that say we must write, list our traumas, do expressive writing, even therapy, and on and on. I would be appreciative if someone can clarify this a little more from their own experience. @plum, your post touched on the point I'm making. Any further insights?

In my experience recovery was a multi pronged and well rounded approach. Much like Monte suggested with being more open, flexible, balanced and aligned, this mindset is important. In the beginning of my recovery (https://www.healingchronicpain.net/about) after completing the Structured Educational programme the pain was about 40% reduced. This was attributed to releasing repressed emotions I had from childhood and throughout my life.

The rest of the pain was a result of conditioning, triggers, ineffective and non existent personal boundaries and lack of self esteem and balance. To overcome this I decided and committed to going on a journey inward daily and as a priority, but without the need to accomplish it with perfection. Within about 18 months I was about 90% pain free and had rearranged relationships with others and myself so that they now had a healthy impact on me.

 

[Syl]

In my experience recovery was a multi pronged and well rounded approach. Much like Monte suggested with being more open, flexible, balanced and aligned, this mindset is important. In the beginning of my recovery (https://www.healingchronicpain.net/about) after completing the Structured Educational programme the pain was about 40% reduced. This was attributed to releasing repressed emotions I had from childhood and throughout my life.

The rest of the pain was a result of conditioning, triggers, ineffective and non existent personal boundaries and lack of self esteem and balance. To overcome this I decided and committed to going on a journey inward daily and as a priority, but without the need to accomplish it with perfection. Within about 18 months I was about 90% pain free and had rearranged relationships with others and myself so that they now had a healthy impact on me.

Thank you for your response @birdsetfree. I may be writing too much, pushing myself to find this "elusive" key to the neural pathways in my subconscious that started all this, and which may no longer exist. Who knows, right? I think these days I am focusing too much on this rather than simply getting on with life and just accepting each moment as it comes. My life circumstances have changed since 2016 (unfortunately not for the better), and I believe that what I'm going through now is a result of the last three years rather than what happened prior to this. After all, I seemed to be better than this prior to 2016 (and I've been battling mainly the pelvic pain since 2009), but coincidentally, or maybe not, the IBS started to get worse in 2016, too, bringing with it reflux and dyspepsia (both of which I rarely ever had in the past).

 

[birdsetfree]

I may be writing too much, pushing myself to find this "elusive" key to the neural pathways in my subconscious that started all this, and which may no longer exist. Who knows, right? I think these days I am focusing too much on this rather than simply getting on with life and just accepting each moment as it comes.

This is preoccupation on getting rid of symptoms and exactly what the TMS mind wants you to do. Your thoughts are correct about focusing on your life instead. This is where the growth and healing takes place.

 

[TG957]

Syl, journaling and looking into the childhood trauma did not help me either. I recovered after I came to the firm conclusion that my nervous system was overstressed by daily pressures and prior events in my life. So I took the approach of calming down my nervous system through meditation, qi gong and yoga. Very interesting, but I experienced emotional release throughout the process. It worked, but it took 2 years to recover. I agree with birdsetfree, it is multi-pronged and individual approach. You know yourself, your should search for your own path.

 

[Syl]

This is preoccupation on getting rid of symptoms and exactly what the TMS mind wants you to do. Your thoughts are correct about focusing on your life instead. This is where the growth and healing takes place.

Thank you, @birdsetfree. I am now simply watching my thoughts and emotions as they come up and then I notice them without judgement and let them go. This approach is much easier and helps me stay in the moment. I always make sure to reassure, Lizard (my reptilian brain)

 

[Syl]

Syl, journaling and looking into the childhood trauma did not help me either. I recovered after I came to the firm conclusion that my nervous system was overstressed by daily pressures and prior events in my life. So I took the approach of calming down my nervous system through meditation, qi gong and yoga. Very interesting, but I experienced emotional release throughout the process. It worked, but it took 2 years to recover. I agree with birdsetfree, it is multi-pronged and individual approach. You know yourself, your should search for your own path.

I started to do Qigong but didn't give it enough time to work. This is something I am considering returning to.

Like you, I believe that more recent events have tipped the stress scales, leading to TMS. All major traumas (even going back to my youth) are clear as day in my mind, but my entire life fell apart from 2006. There was a lot of loss, grief and stress during that time; I was also a fulltime carer for my mother (who had cancer) and I was not getting any support, especially from my lazy-ass evil ex. After my mum passed away I was left to deal with her estate matters, then there was a big move and selling her house (which was my childhood home), meanwhile one of my beautiful kitties passed away, then the evil ex started acting up and flirting with other women, which led to my IBS going out of control, then later the pelvic pain/bladder pain set in, and I was left all alone to deal with this scary thing they call pudendal neuralgia. My ex did even come with me when I had to fly to another city to get treatment!

From there things got worse: our marriage split up as he didn't want to be with a wife who was ill; he'd already lined up a girlfriend on the side by this time; he took off with a large amount of the retirement fund we were saving toward; I had to sell my own home in order to make ends meet (as I couldn't work due to all the health issues) and I didn't have enough money to fight him legally, and then I had to move from my own home; lastly, when all this was done my other kitty (who has almost 21 years old by now) passed on. She was like a daughter to me and she's the longest relationship I ever had outside my immediate family (but my parents were dead by this time and I was only left with one brother who didn't have too much time for me). Pheeew! No wonder TMS went wild! I can pinpoint the onset dates of symptoms that line up with the advent of situations and issues that were so stressful that I guess my brain decided to TMS me Well, it almost TMSed me to death, I can tell you. Luckily, my kitty was still hanging in there at the time and so I didn't jump over the proverbial balcony. She's the reason I'm alive today, and for good measure (even though I can never replace her) I ended up adopting a new kitty a few months after she passed. I didn't want another pet, but I knew that if I was left all alone, without having someone to look after, I would find an excuse to do away with myself.

Well, there are times I still feel this way, but Mia, my present kitty, keeps me in line. Sometimes she's so demanding that there is no time to think about symptoms. So kitties should be part of the cure for TMS, but don't tell her this because she'll get a big head--even though she already has one!

Thank you for sharing your insights about the journalling, etc. I appreciate it.

 

[plum]

This is the problem I'm having right now. I read all of Dr Sarno's books, Dr David Clarke's book, Dr David Hascomb's and Dr Howard Schubiner's, and I am having problems with writing about the repressed emotions that happened in childhood and during my youth. In fact, being a writer from an early age, I've written about all my issues and traumas, not once but many, many times, and yet I don't seem to be making much headway with all the chronic health issues I have, mainly IBS/functional dyspepsia and pelvic pain (pudendal neuralgia), irritable bladder, and other aches and pains.

I also looked into the work of Professor Lorimer Moseley in "Explain Pain" and Michael Moskowitz's "Transforming the Brain in Pain". Both these books touch on the whole thing of the link between emotions/trauma and the development of chronic pain and neural pathways of pain, but they don't prescribe writing tomes about our childhood traumas, and even what is happening now in our lives; instead, they talk about strategies to get rid of the pain eg. distractions (especially when we have pain spikes), reducing DIM/SIMs (as Professor Moseley puts it humorously)--DIM stands for "danger in me" and SIM stands for "safety in me", and so the object of this strategy is to reduce the DIMs in our life and increase the SIMs. Michael Moskowitz works with brain maps and visualising shrinking the pain centres, which are smudged and bigger in chronic pain. This is a visualisation technique, and one can be creative in how they do this, and alongside of this we are meant to have a few strategies which we can engage in when pain strikes, eg. play a musical instrument, have a coffee with friends, do something that brings us pleasure, etc, etc. There is a lot more to this, but the gist of it is that we don't need to write about our past and release repressed emotions that we're not even aware of. Even Dr Sarno says that repressed emotions in the subconscious are something we may never be able to reach.

After all the stuff I wrote about over the years, the many tears I shed, the forgiving I did, and on and on, I still cannot seem to get relief. The only things that have helped a little have been distraction (I am teaching myself how to play the piano) and trying to stay anchored in the present moment, as Eckhart Tolle teaches.

So I'm confused by those books that say we must write, list our traumas, do expressive writing, even therapy, and on and on. I would be appreciative if someone can clarify this a little more from their own experience. @plum, your post touched on the point I'm making. Any further insights?

Syl,

You’ve received some excellent responses here and mostly my thoughts and experiences contentedly rest with my dear friend @TG957. Like her my main healing gains have come through body~oriented methods, most specifically swimming and yin yoga, both of which have done much to restore the relationship between my body and mind. Yin especially works with the emotional self and I have just completed one sweet hour of practice and feel sublime for it.

I have always written. For many, many years I practiced Julia Cameron’s ‘Morning Pages’ and then the many methods advocated by TMS therapists. It didn’t help me and in fact it seemed to make things worse. Upon reflection I realised that this was because it kept me in my mind which was already febrile from trauma and an emotionally taxing daily life. My in-laws family is centred around a narcissistic matriarch and it has taken me years to fully comprehend, disengage and begin recovery from that. Because so much of the wounding has been deeply private and shameful, I kept it hidden from everyone, myself included. A form of Stockholm Syndrome or trauma bonding if you will.

Due to this my healing has by necessity focused on repairing the trust my body has for me and my respect for it. I have been exhausted by mind games and by the immense stress these have put on my nervous system. For me, caring for my body is paramount.

I think too it is all too easy to become trapped in the “Helen Experience”, whereby we desperately seek the opening of the floodgates and subsequent release that Sarno’s patient Helen had. This leads us to relentless psycho archaeology that can become problematic in itself. Please read this great post by Steve Ozanich in this regard:

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/seeking-the-grail.529/ (Steven Ozanich - Seeking the Grail)

You’ve been through hell. You don’t need to dissect it anymore. Now is the time to be kind to yourself. Have you explored Alan Gordon’s program? I think it is excellent and liberates those who are stuck in their healing by opening the parameters. As @birdsetfree states, healing is multi-faceted and unique for each of us.

Don’t get me wrong, expressive writing and journaling are beautiful, powerful ways of fostering a healthy relationship with ourselves and I very much love putting pen to paper. However we need to have compassion for ourselves and recognise when something isn’t working for us.

For me writing is a joy and I rarely employ it as a healing tool anymore but I honour the fact that for many people it is their go-to and most effective method. Having dug up every relic from my past, I’m more interested in crafting a peaceful present. The most potent practices I have found in fostering this (and laying demons to rest) are EFT/Tapping and Somatic Tracking and Cognitive Soothing (from Alan’s program).

Feeling safe has been such an important aspect of my healing. Hearing of your immensely stressful times, I imagine this could be true for you too.

Plum x

 

[Ren]

Here are a few words from Monte Hueftle that may help lend some insight into how this conditioning occurs in our everyday lives.

(Taken from this page:

http://www.runningpain.com/important_tms_updates (The TMS Master Practice Program - The New-Sarno TMS Program - Important TMS Updates))

"Are repressed emotions part of the TMS syndrome?

Yes, of course, repressed emotional energy is one of the main ingredients causing inner tension in TMS! However, there are two big, huge factors that must be understood.

1. It is our day-to-day patterns of behavior and thought that are generating Inner Tension and

2. It is our day-to-day patterns of behavior and thought that are repressing our emotions (emotional energy).


This is day-to-day, moment-to-moment repression of day-to-day, moment-to-moment feelings/emotions and not this big huge and in many cases fictitious deeply repressed emotions from your childhood. What makes this day-to-day repression such a big, huge contributor of the inner tension in TMS is that it is Chronic. A TMS person has been chronically generating inner tension and chronically repressing emotional energy for 10-20-30-40 years. When you start changing or affecting how you are generating inner tension and repressing emotions right now, in the present, you can begin to reverse this cause/effect - mind/body syndrome right now, in the present.


TMS is a day-to-day, moment-to-moment chronic mind body syndrome with a strategy attached to it. The key to reversing TMS and living with TMS is understanding that the most important element is becoming aware of and affecting change in "how am I being right now".

--How you are being right now means you are either being distracted and "feeding" the strategy or you or genuinely thinking psychological.

--How you are being right now means you are generating a quality of energy that is communicating tons of tension/stress/pressure or you are generating a quality o energy that is being more open/flexible/balanced/aligned/allowing a little more often.

--How your are being right now means you are repressing emotional energy or you are being more open/allowing and experiencing your emotional energy more often.

--How you are being right now means you are in the future or past (unaware of the quality of energy you are generating and unaware that you are repressing emotional energy) or you are becoming more present-moment based where you are able to deliberately affect the quality of energy that you generate and you can intentionally choose to allow yourself to experience emotions instead of deny or avoid them. This is why the statement - Your healing practices are more effective and greatly enhanced in present time."

Thanks so much for this post, plum! It really helped me make sense of a lot of things. I've been overly committed to discovering my emotions - searching for the 'holy grail,' as if it were - as well as constantly being paranoid that I'm being a repressor. I think it's a big sign that when I'm able to be mindful and live in the moment, so to speak, I feel a lot better. Thank you!

 

[plum]

Thanks so much for this post, plum! It really helped me make sense of a lot of things. I've been overly committed to discovering my emotions - searching for the 'holy grail,' as if it were - as well as constantly being paranoid that I'm being a repressor. I think it's a big sign that when I'm able to be mindful and live in the moment, so to speak, I feel a lot better. Thank you!

You’re more than welcome my dear. You may also gain something from reading the link I referenced in my response to Syl. I’m not sure if you’ve read it as you reference ‘the grail’ but if not, your intuition is on form.

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/seeking-the-grail.529/ (Steven Ozanich - Seeking the Grail)

I’ve read your introductory post on another thread and note the question you raise there. Read the Steve Ozanich post and then share your thoughts because I think his words may help you tease it out a bit more.

Plum x

 

[Ren]

You’re more than welcome my dear. You may also gain something from reading the link I referenced in my response to Syl. I’m not sure if you’ve read it as you reference ‘the grail’ but if not, your intuition is on form.

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/seeking-the-grail.529/ (Steven Ozanich - Seeking the Grail)

I’ve read your introductory post on another thread and note the question you raise there. Read the Steve Ozanich post and then share your thoughts because I think his words may help you tease it out a bit more.

Plum x

You were right - that was extraordinarily helpful! Thank you. It allowed me to tie together my understanding a little more. I'd be lying if I said I understood fully, but really, do any of us? Do we need to? Probably not. I think I'm beginning to become sharper in recognising my own defence mechanisms, which I'm going to recognise as a sign of progress. I also feel that when I recognise my defence mechanisms in action, it becomes easier to practice outcome independence. Not sure why, but I'm not going to think too deeply about it - I'm doing enough of that!

Anyway, from what I understand, both from Steve's post and my general reading, there are effectively two mechanisms at work here:

1) The initial mechanism of repression, which occurs when people internalise their anger and put pressure on the self. This mechanism, as Steve notes, is constructed from early life experiences. How we first escape the lion informs how we'll attempt to escape it further down the line. Classic behaviourism.

2) The mechanism of pain re-production, initially activated/triggered by the internalised anger build-up reaching critical mass, and then sustained by the anxiety and fear one experiences in response to pain/symptoms, creating an infinite feedback loop.

The first mechanism applies to everyone - we all have ways of reacting to anger/negative emotion - but some people will try to attempt to escape the lion differently than we (TMS'ers) do. By going outward rather than inward, for instance, hence the non-activation of symptoms. In other words, their mechanism of anger/emotion processing is different, and doesn't necessarily lead to repression.

If someone were to ask me the 'key' to healing, if such a thing exists, it would be to break the cycle of both mechanisms. The important point here is that the way we get there is different for everyone. As Alan notes in his recovery program, there are so many different days/chapters, because the program is attempting to act as a 'catch-all' to address every factor that might be relevant in pain being sustained. Hence, there are no 'right answers' in breaking these cycles - only suggestions. If I were to speculate on a couple things:

a) Symptom transference, as in, you might have back pain, but then suddenly this disappears, and it's replaced by dizziness, anxiety and weakness, is a product of only breaking cycle 2), and not 1). You may have gotten over your fear of back pain, but you're still repressing day-to-day, and so symptoms pop up elsewhere.

b) The rare instances that Steve references where people are required to excavate and resolve a traumatic incident, such as Helen, are because these instances are mechanisms in and of themselves. As in, Helen's abuse and trauma was so significant, that it was still producing fresh grief, anger and resentment, albeit unknown to her. It was not a 'well of emotion,' so to speak, or a single deposit of old anger that she had to 'uncover,' but a mechanism, re-producing current negative emotion. To break this cycle, she had to re-live her experience, because unless she did, the mechanism would continue to operate. The vast majority of people do not have something so dangerous, so traumatic, in their past, that it continually creates new negative emotion, hence the lack of the need to go 'excavating.'

As someone who is still in the midst of their symptoms, has no background in psychology, and has not healed, I'm hardly the authority on this. But it's where my understanding has led me, at least!