It's all fear.

Well, unfortunately life had more surprises for me. I injured myself playing soccer. I destroyed my knee. Now, I'm alone, with crutches. Cannot go anywhere y, can't go out. Im really trying to understand and accept all that is happening to me. This time it is not TMS. My knee it's swollen like an orange. I dont know.... I just miss the old times when it was psycossomatic.
 
Filipe2025 said:
Well, unfortunately life had more surprises for me. I injured myself playing soccer. I destroyed my knee. Now, I'm alone, with crutches. Cannot go anywhere y, can't go out. Im really trying to understand and accept all that is happening to me. This time it is not TMS. My knee it's swollen like an orange. I dont know.... I just miss the old times when it was psycossomatic.
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Sorry to hear of your injury, Filipe. Hope the soccer game was fun before that.
The good thing about actual injuries is that they (usually) heal without us having to delve into our psychology. Hope things getter better soon.
 
Thanks. It was fun, but I guess I choose the wrong sport. Soccer is too demanding for the body. Unfortunately, I start having this pain, after I bought a new pair of playing shoes, and I keep insisting using them. The week before, I just play as a goalkeeper, because it was hurting me a lot. But last Thursday, I thought, I'm not paying to be a goal keeper all the time. I still think I'm 21. So I played mid field. Unfortunately, this constant running back and forward, injured me. But, I keep on playing. I eventually went out the field, because the pain was too much. Now I feel guilty, and a angry with myself. Then after all the people left the training, I try walking and I realise I couldn't, but it was almost midnight, and I didn't have apps like Uber installed. I walk to the subway. I think it was a miracle how I arrived home.

I went to the hospital friday, I injured my goose tendons. It is the inner knee ligament. What is scaring me Is that my knee/leg is stuck in the "V" position. It reminds a goose paw, hence it's name. Like Howard the Duck :) That's where the name come from. I have to trust my body, and that it knows what is doing. The swelling and the lack of moving my leg is also creating me more pain.

Well, I just wonder, maybe life is teaching me to slow down, and be at ease with my thoughts.

I really believe things happen for. Reason.
 
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Filipe2025 said:
Well, unfortunately life had more surprises for me. I injured myself playing soccer. I destroyed my knee. Now, I'm alone, with crutches. Cannot go anywhere y, can't go out. Im really trying to understand and accept all that is happening to me. This time it is not TMS. My knee it's swollen like an orange. I dont know.... I just miss the old times when it was psycossomatic.
Click to expand...
This happened to me a few years ago when I injured my deltoid ankle and long plantar ligaments 3 times in 12 months - rare injuries, but I have Ehlers-Danlos and forget how flexible I am when I participate in yoga or dance with my friends. I literally overextended myself. Unlike you, I refused to believe it and continued participating in sports and extreme physical activity, resulting in the three back-to-back injuries. You’re smart for acknowledging the truth immediately. I wasn’t.

Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Engage in other exercises that do not impact your knee. What do you enjoy outside of soccer? Watching or reading certain genres, listening to records, taking baths (make sure the temperature is appropriate based on the stage of your injury), spending time with a pet, practicing a new language, etc.? Focus on those activities right now and tell yourself that you’re giving your knee a break. You’ll be back.
 
I would have to say I think the criminal is fear, but the anger is the accessory to the crime. The fear i think is what's causing the tension, but a welling anger has you go emotion->anger->fear->pain. I have 6 "criminals" I wrote up in a short story about my TMS journey which is just about resolved after 30 years. If anyone's interested I can share the story with them.
 
samthefish said:
I can share the story with them.
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Yes, I’m interested, please do.
This thread had me wondering how much my tension is responsible for the way i “injured” myself (even my wording reflects my thinking- i normally would have said “how i got injured”). I pull back from the idea that my tension might be causing how i sprained my ankle because it seems too much like negative self talk, too much self-blaming, but still, i wonder.
 
samthefish said:
I would have to say I think the criminal is fear, but the anger is the accessory to the crime. The fear i think is what's causing the tension, but a welling anger has you go emotion->anger->fear->pain. I have 6 "criminals" I wrote up in a short story about my TMS journey which is just about resolved after 30 years. If anyone's interested I can share the story with them.
Click to expand...
I'm also I tested to ear your story. All my life I had this unconscious fear that is triggered by stressful events, and than it stays for too long. I know the theory, I know what is the problem but I cannot get rid of this childhood fear. It's newly fear of abandonment, of good things end, like when your on vacation and then you fear that the good days are ending, the good weather, and soon you have to come back to the winter period. My unconscious fear has to do with "knowing" that good things end. Every time I met a woman Im always afraid she left me, one day.

On the same way, I think stimulus create fear. Some weather patterns. When it is too cloudy, or stormy, you feel weir, afraid. Maybe something happend that scared you when you were little, and the weather was the same. Childhood Fearful memories, I guess.

Sometimes I wonder if smartphones are also a big source of stress for a person like me. I resisted having a smartphone until 3 years ago. I used a dumb phone, and there was a time when I didn't use one at all, during my recover from TMS

I also continue to be afraid of being alone with my thoughts. I think this what perpetuates TMS. Can you really tame them? If you are alone, and bored? It always come to my mind the story of Robinson Crusoe...
 
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