It's all fear.

[Filipe2025]

Hi. After all this time, I realised again that pain/anxiety/depression/rage it is all due to fear. Fear is the mind killer There is no way around it.

Fear comes from thoughts and memories. I remember one time I was in Amsterdam, and for no reason I start feeling this inner fear. I remember that the weather was very cloudy that day. I was alone, and this feeling of fear was uncomfortable. I look at common people and start fearing them. I thought I was getting crazy. I was already an adult, that time. This feeling lasted for that whole day. The next day the weather was vert good, and I reunited with my friend and I just forget about it. But .. every time I think about it, the same odd/fearful and uncomfortable sensation comes to my mind. So, even after the thing we fear isn't here the memory remains. I wonder if my knowledge about TMS today could have done anything to minimize it that day. If course this happened on other occasions.

Understanding TMS, makes us stop fearing pain, as a physical problem, but then we start fearing our brain, and the fact that when it represses emotions, it creates us pain. It's fear kicking in.

I wonder, what is the best way to express fear? Why do I seem to have more fear after I wake up, in the morning. Is there a way of erasing our childhood fearful memories? Fear makes us anxious, which results in pain.

Thanks

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

Hi. After all this time, I realised again that pain/anxiety/depression/rage it is all due to fear. Fear is the mind killer There is no way around it.

Spot on - everything of the sort is due to fear. Throw in jealously, greed, lust etc etc, If you didn't fear anything, you'd be perfectly content in the world.

You have to be brave and be willing to accept what you're afraid of coming true. There's a quote from the first book in the Game of Thrones series: 'can a man still be brave if he's afraid?' - response - 'That is the only time a man can be brave". If you can be ok despite your worst fears realising and be comfortable that you can handle them, then you're free.

Understanding TMS, makes us stop fearing pain, as a physical problem, but then we start fearing our brain, and the fact that when it represses emotions, it creates us pain. It's fear kicking in.

If we are aware, we can prevent this (in large part) from happening in favour of expressing our emotions and accepting them. There's no need to fear your brain - it will help you if you help it (we have a lot more control over it than we think).

 

[Filipe2025]

Spot on - everything of the sort is due to fear. Throw in jealously, greed, lust etc etc, If you didn't fear anything, you'd be perfectly content in the world.

You have to be brave and be willing to accept what you're afraid of coming true. There's a quote from the first book in the Game of Thrones series: 'can a man still be brave if he's afraid?' - response - 'That is the only time a man can be brave". If you can be ok despite your worst fears realising and be comfortable that you can handle them, then you're free.



If we are aware, we can prevent this (in large part) from happening in favour of expressing our emotions and accepting them. There's no need to fear your brain - it will help you if you help it (we have a lot more control over it than we think).

I wish we were toutht that in childhood, that is, to deal with our brains, and fears. I mean, why the mistery? It seems like faith is a requisit in this life. When I was a child I remember having a lot of rituals, like crossing my fingers, so what I was thinking won't come true. I remember being afraid of my thoughts, and the feeling of sadness really made me feel in pain. I also remember, having the clear notion that life did exactly what I didn't want. I remember telling my friends and family that I support a soccer team, when in fact I was supporting a other. Like I was trying to deceive my brain.

The problem is that I'm still not at ease. I feel nervous most of the time. And I'm still afraid of this sensation in my throat, after all these months. Every time I feel it I get into panic mode, because I actually have a mild goiter. My thyroid right lobe has 1cm more in volume. It's non visible. I think the thyroid reacts to fear, namely because it speaks with a endocrine gland situated in the brain.

I can only calm down when I'm physically too tired.

 

[feduccini]

I wonder if my knowledge about TMS today could have done anything to minimize it that day.

I think it might've helped, but the issue resides more in western culture itself, like how we tend to shame children from expressing anger and sadness, or how we train our minds to an individualistic competitive world. TMS and anxiety for me is more of a consequence of a species that's still too attached to fighting. Fear is not the enemy, it's just a messenger.

 

[Mr Hip Guy]

When I was a child I remember having a lot of rituals, like crossing my fingers, so what I was thinking won't come true.

I believe that is the purpose of almost all rituals and superstitions etc. Not that doing any of that finger crossing had any actual impact on what happened, but it eased the mind which is just as good. The old saying is "10% of life is what happens to us and 90% how we deal with it."

 

[Cactusflower]

Understanding TMS and doing the work is two different things.
I think you avoid the work because you are terrified to face your emotions and to drop being a victim.
We believe the stories we’ve told ourselves but doing the work helps us realize that they are simply thoughts, reactions, and that the past doesn’t have to dictate the future.
Journal, meditate, write unsent letters, do the Structured educational Program and find your peace and power.

 

[Filipe2025]

Understanding TMS and doing the work is two different things.
I think you avoid the work because you are terrified to face your emotions and to drop being a victim.
We believe the stories we’ve told ourselves but doing the work helps us realize that they are simply thoughts, reactions, and that the past doesn’t have to dictate the future.
Journal, meditate, write unsent letters, do the Structured educational Program and find your peace and power.

You are right. The first time I understand what was TMS, I just got something to distract myself. I never did the emotional work. I just forget about it. I was younger, I had a great distraction, my child. He was so sweet. I remember one day, I was so much in pain, and he touch me in the back, with his small gentle hands, my pain disappeared completely, and I relaxed Immediately. Now, I'm afraid I cannot do it without them, my family. Anyway, it's journaling the same as expressive writing? I'm afraid that journaling won't let me forget about pain, and TMS.

 

[Filipe2025]

Can someone explain this sensation of feeling like a weirdo? Is it also, just fear of madness?

 

[feduccini]

Can someone explain this sensation of feeling like a weirdo? Is it also, just fear of madness?

It looks to me it's your ego pushing back. But of course, could be a lot of things...

 

[Filipe2025]

When people talk about allowing the feeling/emotion, means allowing the pain. The problem is the type of pain. My pain is a burning pain. It's like a sunburn. Maybe, this type of feeling came from when I was a child, and went to the beach. I remember being sun burn nany times. I feel angry if feeling this burning pain, more anger, more pain. I hate this crap.

Can anyone explain me what should I jornal about? Anger? How should I do it? What does it works for you guys? Writing senntenses? Words? Should I throw away the sheet ls of paper?

 

[Cactusflower]

Journaling has nothing to do with forgetting symptoms. It’s about dealing with the mental and emotional suffering and the everyday fears, frustrations and angers that you post about feeling. It’s to help teach you to stop thinking about your emotions and learn to sit with them and feel them.

No planning your writing, no “telling a story”. You might try sitting and starting with: I Feel _____ - and write without stopping. It does not need to make sense. When I journal I close my eyes and write. It is a scribble mess but does not matter as it is torn up and thrown away immediately.

Do you judge being weird as bad? Why?
Do you fear judgement of others?
All great topics for journaling or expressive writing!

Why do you fear being at peace with yourself? Why do you fight your symptoms and emotions?

All inquiries that help us get to know and accept and love ourselves even more.

 

[Rusty Red]

I believe that is the purpose of almost all rituals and superstitions etc. Not that doing any of that finger crossing had any actual impact on what happened, but it eased the mind which is just as good. The old saying is "10% of life is what happens to us and 90% how we deal with it."

Oh hey, good to see you.

 

[Filipe2025]

Journaling has nothing to do with forgetting symptoms. It’s about dealing with the mental and emotional suffering and the everyday fears, frustrations and angers that you post about feeling. It’s to help teach you to stop thinking about your emotions and learn to sit with them and feel them.

No planning your writing, no “telling a story”. You might try sitting and starting with: I Feel _____ - and write without stopping. It does not need to make sense. When I journal I close my eyes and write. It is a scribble mess but does not matter as it is torn up and thrown away immediately.

Do you judge being weird as bad? Why?
Do you fear judgement of others?
All great topics for journaling or expressive writing!

Why do you fear being at peace with yourself? Why do you fight your symptoms and emotions?

All inquiries that help us get to know and accept and love ourselves even more.

Thank you. You are very kind. I don't trust life. I fear it, because I never understood suffering nor death. After knowing about TMS I thought I was invensible. Now I know TMS it's with me. I'm a very sensitive guy. I just need a way of easing my pain, because I fear the fact that I don't get the kicks I used to from my old hobbies, and I'm alone this time, and with my thoughts. I know the theory, but this time I cannot be running away from TMS. I did it in the past. I remember being obsessed with video, and making comic sketches. Also, discovering TMS, made me read about other books. Those were good times.

But I jornaled to cope with the pain I had when my wife had cancer. It worked, because I had no relapse, so I think it is a powerful tool. I think my main feeling is anger, and fear, of course. Fear of pain, and anger that my brain keeps using pain. Anger because I cannot control my thoughts. The other day, I was sleeping quietly, and then for a brief moment, I thought this can't be happening, how can I be so relax, and bingo! The relaxation was gone...

Everything I seen to do besides , just forget about pain, creates more stress, that's why I never did journal with pain. Does journaling convey safety to your brain in the long run? Why?

So it is to write about feelings and emotions, not body sensations or body pain, right? Not, "I feel anger because I feel my body burning", right?

And how can you be e with the emotion, like anger, if it's provoking body sensations? The sensation goes away when I manage to relax

Sorry for all my questions

 

[Cactusflower]

Dr. Sarno's book title "The Divided Mind" is on many levels a play on words. Psychologically things like "I am a sensitive guy" and anger don't seem to make sense together in one mind the way society defines "Sensitive guy", does it.
Learning to accept that one can be sensitive AND angry and feel both as sensations in the body is a challenge, but it can be learned. The thoughts of others, the things said to us and we think about, we often accept as "belief". Doing the TMS work such as journaling helps us not only emotionally, but can help us sorting out our real truth by sussing out the things we have learned vs. the things that are true in life and we can then be more confident in our beliefs and trust that are values are unwavering even if they are not acceptable to others around us or the things we have been told.
In Western Society we are often told that death is to be feared because we don't understand where we go afterwards. Sometimes we are told that we should fear God's judgement in death (consider what man feels as judgement might be more societal constructs to keep us in line than what is spiritually ahead of us), sometimes we are told there is nothing afterwards - it is the end, sometimes we feel there is a great "unknown". All of these ideas lead to a lack of control on our part. We can't control what is going to happen to us, we can't control when it will happen either. There are other religions and societies that don't hold those similar thoughts or beliefs (some Western, some not) or at least the fear of lack of control attached to them. What I have witnessed is that those close to death often let go of all of these notions. They know that they can not control the process - their peace often begins when a loved one gives them permission to go, and move on from this world.

Can you give yourself permission to stop obsessing and focusing on death, and instead focus on living life. Pre-grieving is a real mental and emotional thing, but over time we can work through those thoughts and perhaps beliefs associated with death such as suffering etc. and open up our minds to become more spiritually free from such constraints.

Dr. Sarno talks about personality traits - and I suggest you read these passages once again and get a deeper understanding of where you fall within these traits and how you hold so tightly to try and control things that are often not tangible things within your control. Black and White Thinking, Legalism, Perfectionism are all traits that have us trying to control the uncontrollable (which includes other people).

With doing the TMS emotional work comes the emotional maturity that brings more peace of mind. We often didn't have parents who were able to teach us the skills of emotional maturity - this is our opportunity. Opportunity is a wonderful mindset to adopt vs. a feeling of woe and self-victimization. You are not the victim of being a sensitive person, being sensitive is a wonderful, humanistic trait that is often so lacking in this world.

 

[Cactusflower]

I also suggest that you explore the website more to learn more about TMS skills and programs.
The best place to learn a variety of journaling skills is to work through the Structured Educational Program slowly day by day. There is more than one way to journal.
If you have not yet read a book by Dr. Sarno - that is where you start (or perhaps re-read it if it has been a long time since you read it). He wrote those books to help us soften our fears to doing this work. Reading one of his books is how to start "DAY 0" Here is the program from Day 0 https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Week_0

Here is the link of "How To Journal" https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/How_do_I_journal?

When you have questions, you might try and do a search for the answer which will bring up old posts that can be really helpful. At the top of each forum page, above where your name appears is a hamburger box that says "search". I have found that old posts even from a long time ago have answered all my questions and given me even more great suggestions and things that have fostered great confidence.

 

[Filipe2025]

I also suggest that you explore the website more to learn more about TMS skills and programs.
The best place to learn a variety of journaling skills is to work through the Structured Educational Program slowly day by day. There is more than one way to journal.
If you have not yet read a book by Dr. Sarno - that is where you start (or perhaps re-read it if it has been a long time since you read it). He wrote those books to help us soften our fears to doing this work. Reading one of his books is how to start "DAY 0" Here is the program from Day 0 https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Week_0

Here is the link of "How To Journal" https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/How_do_I_journal?

When you have questions, you might try and do a search for the answer which will bring up old posts that can be really helpful. At the top of each forum page, above where your name appears is a hamburger box that says "search". I have found that old posts even from a long time ago have answered all my questions and given me even more great suggestions and things that have fostered great confidence.

Thanks a lot for your extensive reply. I read the divided mind, and love it. It was the first TMS book I read. I try to address all my inner conflicts in the past, but every time I did it, try to change the way I was, I end up creating more stress. The only thing that worked for me was the notion that you cannot have two thought in your head at the sane time. Eventually the pain went away. I was pain free for 16 years, and despite having stress, the pain never returned. It returned because, I scared myself to death. I start having a Globus sensation, and thought it was cancer.

 

[Cactusflower]

I don't think changing the way you are is the answer, because as Sarno suggests, there is nothing wrong with you.
There's a big difference between accepting the things we can not change, but instead of becoming a victim to them. What holds you back from just being YOU, from fearing being a "weirdo" or having certain personality traits etc?
It's the way we utilize those personality traits that can be a hindrance, not the traits themselves.

 

[Filipe2025]

I believe the body is just a mirror of the mind.

We have been brain washed by the health industry to think otherwise. When I was a child I was a dr shopping, with my mother. I was always taking pills, and injections.

I knew all about TMS, but even so, when I felt a Globus sensation on my throat in early September, after my tooth fell, I felt scared. I knew it was linked to loneliness, but since I couldn't change the external world, I went into panic mode, and got into this health anxiety crisis.

I end extracting the rest of my tooth, although, I restored it one month earlier. It make my anger increase. Now I have no tooth.

The problem is that I never had this constant globus sensation before. It is powerful. Now I'm sure It is TMS, but I'm the meantime my pain come back. It comes and goes. It made me even angrier.

I used to not being afraid if being myself, but it was the main reason my wife left me. It lead me to being alone, and to inner rage, and pain. I'm not vaccinated, I was against all the curfews, all the COVID tests, all Bill gates and friends did, and I end up alone. People hated me because I wanted to go to the beach, instead of being imprisoned in my house.

I'm teased easily. I had friends that smoke like horses, but that were afraid of COVID, as a child is afraid of the buggy man

I got tiered of being myself. For instances, I'm always explaining about TMS to my wife and family, but even so, they are always telling me that I don't want to treat myself because I don't want to take pills. I had to gave up being myself.

I think my problem is impatience. The hurge. I guess, I really have to "let time pass" as Claire Weeks says. Everything I try doing, makes me worse. It makes me anger because I'm not having the results I want, like calming down, or having company, or interesting stuff to do.

 

[Filipe2025]

I feel to at ease, all the symptoms go away, when I truly realise, this is all but temporary, and due to my inner fears and rage Scaring yourself is one of the biggest problems with long TMS.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

I knew it was linked to loneliness, but since I couldn't change the external world, I went into panic mode, and got into this health anxiety crisis.

I would recommend you potentially go deeper, it seems as if that's what you're close to. I would read either Michael Singer or Eckhart Tolle - you don't need to change the external world necessarily, just your internal one