Is this flare up normal?

Diana-M

Diana-M

Beloved Grand Eagle
Hi everyone,

I guess what is “normal,” when it comes to TMS? At any rate, as you know, I had a big week last week, fighting through my agoraphobia and pain and getting out of the house for the first time in months. At first I was in such a high—even though nothing really had changed except my attitude. That was a big deal, though. I embraced life!

Then, the pain set in. The worst I’ve ever had. Crippling, actually. I was awake all night in misery. Could barely walk yesterday. BUT—- despite the temptation to dwell on the physical (what have I done? Did I overdo?), I forced myself to think psychologically. This was a challenge. But I did it and I focused on what’s in plain sight. What do I swear to myself is perfect or going great? I examined these places in my life, especially relationships. And bang- I had a realization that I’ve been denying a bunch of very painful things.So I began to journal away. The realizations were painful, but true. I know they are true.

Meanwhile, my body stayed on TMS fire, and it still is. I had planned to go out yesterday, but I chickened out.

Tomorrow is my first day of PT, as recommended by my doctor. I have some doubts about it, and also some hopes. I wonder if I’m doing the right thing by going. I know Sarno said not to. But on the other side, I am phenomenally weak, have zero balance and no butt muscles. I think I could maybe use some help. Or at least hear what she has to say. The overall experience sounds hard and gives me anxiety.

So question: given the circumstances, should I be discouraged that I’m having the worst flare up ever? I’m not about to back down. But it would be nice to feel better physically at some point. Thanks for your help! I love you guys!
 
Last edited:
Diana-M said:
Hi everyone,
So question: given the circumstances, should I be discouraged that I’m having the worst flare up ever? I’m not about to back down. But it would be nice to feel better physically at some point. Thanks for your help! I love you guys!
Click to expand...

Definitely don't be discouraged! Check this video out from Dan Buglio:
 
@Diana-M
Flare ups are absolutely a "thing" - your brain (subconcious) is saying "I spent years trying to keep you safe, why are you doing this to MEEEE MEEE MEEEE" (because it's a tantruming 2 year old.) You are amazing, because you didn't give into the tantrum! You handled things like a pro-journal, be kind to yourself and NOT go out when you really didn't want to (knowing when you TMS retreat or just don't wanna is an art to learn sometimes!)
I go to PT. I was almost 2 years bed bound. I'm deconditioned. My amazing PT has taken the time to learn more about Alan Gordon's method (which is probably the best method for a PT) but has listened and written notes about the Sarno basics... I can explain to you more about our discussions which are NEVER centered around my ability to "perform" the techniques (the method I follow does not use typical "exercise") instead we discuss how the nervous system is reacting and if it is allowing my brain to actually FEEL my body moving, and how I think about this process.
We've worked together for 2 years (I tried other PT's before this, none of them helped because they "pushed" me this PT has a much better understanding of TMS from our work together) and he is learning and doing his own research and learning when time allows. THIS is the type of investment I think is worth while. No coddling, no feeding into anything, only encouragement and a LOT of "think checks". The moment I say anything negative about myself or ability he points it out right away.
The other thing about this method is that my appointments are once every 4 - 6 weeks. There is no hands on, no machines, no heat etc with their method (unless it is a true injury that will heal in a few months).

My advice is to go and learn some techniques. If this PT doesn't work with you the way you'd like, find another. Learn from them and then when you are ready, perhaps try a different approach with a personal trainer. Really you just need someone to show you what to do to get back into shape so that you can continue doing the things you love.
 
Cactusflower said:
My advice is to go and learn some techniques. If this PT doesn't work with you the way you'd like, find another. Learn from them and then when you are ready, perhaps try a different approach with a personal trainer. Really you just need someone to show you what to do to get back into shape so that you can continue doing the things you love.
Click to expand...
Hi, @Cactusflower,

First off, I’m glad to hear you think I handled this flare up pretty well. That makes me happy.

I’m sorry to hear you were bedridden and got deconditioned. I had no idea this was a thing. But man, is it. And it seems to creep up on a person slowly. I didn’t know I had it until I was going down, and then I got COVID, which took me down further.

I have never been to PT in my life, so I don’t really know what to expect. I would actually rather just get myself in shape, if that’s all there is to it. I would love to talk to you more about this. Feel free to write more on this thread about what you think is important for me to consider at a first PT appointment. How should I qualify her? What should I refuse to do?

(Or, I could send you a private message with questions. Which do you prefer?)

One thing I do know is that TMS *IS* capable of creating weakness. But I also know that lack of exercise makes things worse. And weakness and lack of balance makes exercising very difficult. It’s a battle I want to win. Somehow!

As always, thank you so much for your encouragement and wisdom!
 
@Diana-M, I echo everything that @Cactusflower said. Especially about how your brain is fighting back. I know it's reeeally hard to celebrate, but it's pretty good proof of the psychological component, because nothing else really makes sense.

I also go to a PT every couple of months, just to tweak and align this aging body, LOL. I understand that it's a psychological "laying on of hands" - AKA a placebo - but I don't really care! I'd much rather go to a PT than an MD any day. It reminds me about and helps me visualize and relax all those connections that form our somatic pathways. Or something like that, I know what this means to me, but not sure how to describe it.

Anyway, the good PTs will give you exercises, which should be aimed at overall strengthening, not on perceived problem areas. So I will give you the same advice that I gave you about going to an MD, which is to be up front about your commitment to the mind-body connection, and to state that your goal is to regain your overall strength and mobility, both physically and mentally, in terms of being able to visualize your recovery.

Many PTs are more aware of, and open to, the mindbody connection than MDs tend to be.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top