Is it really this simple?

S

Soph1802

Peer Supporter
Hi all

In a nutshell, I have a great therapist (not a TMS one but she is aligned and open to the thinking) who is really figuring me out and scraping off the layers. She has made me aware of just how much my overthinking, pressuring, rushing and doing is still impacting me. I am SUPER high-functioning and my mind never stops. Today we really got to the heart of some things.

I believe wholeheartedly in TMS and in my symptoms being TMS. My struggle is getting the work 'right'. I am so desperate to get better, that I keep thinking that I need to do more, or that I'm doing it wrong, because it's all very slow and subtle. She made me realise today that all my attempts to try and heal are stopping me healing. She is constantly telling me to just 'be'. Today she told me that, in her mind, I don't need to do anything at all. I just need to learn to live without being in my own way, and her roadmap to doing that is as follows:
a) feel feelings but don't analyse. Feel, allow, nurture, care for self, get on with life. That's it.
b) stop overthinking, fearing, pushing myself, doubting etc - I need to get the f*** out of my head.
c) have small, consistent, regular moments of stillness and connection to self
d) Accept symptoms and let them be for now. No fear, no obsession.
e) Get back to joy, creativity, fun and peace - living the life I want to live.

It all feels so simple. I feel like this all involves doing very little, which feels counterintuitive. It feels like something this profound and important should be harder work, like I should be doing hours of journalling, exercises, cold showers etc every day to change - but it seems the message is that actually, all the trying to change and understand myself is exactly the problem? Is the key to overcoming this really to just let go and essentially, do nothing? Let it all be and exist with it, and then just get on with life anyway? I know that this is true - and it's so simple, yet feels so terrifying and impossible?! I hope I am on the right track and others can relate!

Sending you all so much love

Sophie x
 
Hi JanAtheCPA

Oh 100% it is anything but easy! I think I just get caught up in the idea that I should be doing more, but if the above really is all there is to it, maybe I can shift my thoughts to believing and trusting that I am doing enough, and I can know that all the stressing is unnecessary.

I am working on mindfulness. It’s a hard one for me - my brain is so fast and intense. But I try and do a little more everyday. It’ll just take me time I guess.
 
After 10 years of studying TMS and trying to apply it to myself, I have concluded that it is that simple. All the strategies and techniques we use to treat our TMS symptoms are methods to bring us to a place of acceptance. That is why I keep that Jon Kabat-Zinn quote in my signature line, that health is coming to terms with the way things are.

TMS is the mindbody saying a big, loud "NO!" No, I don't accept these complicated and conflicted emotions. I only want to feel the good stuff. No, I don't accept these symptoms. I must fight these. No, I don't accept the imperfect human that I am. No, I don't accept the imperfect humans around me. No, I don't accept the weather today. And so on.......

Let it be. Breathe. Repeat.
 
Soph1802 said:
I think I just get caught up in the idea that I should be doing more,
Click to expand...
This, in fact, is your brain on TMS. It's a distraction. It's an attempt by your brain to keep you stuck in the squirrel cage, overcome with anxiety and worry.

Be compassionate with your poor fearful brain - but do not be fooled. It's totally unnecessary.

And yes - it will take time, but with faith, you will start to recognize the changes as you unlearn your old patterns and replace them with new ones. It will happen.
 
@Ellen and @JanAtheCPA thank you both so much for these responses. They are so helpful and beautifully put. I see now how I have been going wrong. This isn’t about changing or pushing or trying. I just have to slow right down and let it all be.

I think I still have some work to do to accept that this is how my body is. But I see now that if I can do that, I’ll finally be able to find some peace.
Thank you so much as always.
X
 
@Soph1802 how is your journey going now? I just found this thread and it resonates with me a lot. I keep finding myself doubting how I’m approaching my healing and wondering if I’m doing it right, and this has been a strong reminder to me that my brain is clearly operating in TMS mode when this happens.

Would love to hear how you progressed as you learned to let go and let it be.
 
@Soph1802 , you're clearly on the right track and have a skilled therapist. The only thing I'd add is that exercises are important, they also teach safety to your brain, as it does to anyone (TMS or not). The secret is finding the spot where it won't alarm you too much.

Don't worry too much (but if you do, it's ok), don't try to be perfect in your recovery, flavor your emotions. Trust your nervous system, it knows how to regulate itself. Healing is already happening.
 
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