Ok. I am kind of ashamed about coming here with the following call for support but I need it! First of all let me say that prior to the current setback, I was doing really well. Simply accepting the TMS theory and stopping the relentless pursuit of treatments has done wonders for my mental well-being. It's incredible how much pressure that pursuit of a diagnosis and cure alone put on me. My symptoms have not miraculously gone away like they do for some but I didn't expect that either. I know that I have a lot work to do and I am happy to do it. What did go away - temporarily at least - was the FEAR. The ANXIETY. And what a relief that was! Unfortunately, now the FEAR is back, full on! Its return is classic for me: I hurt my neck in a run-of-a-mill accident 2 days ago and it triggered a traumatizing memory of several years of chronic neck pain that limited me greatly in my life and that I only recovered from 2 years ago. What happened was this: I got mad (at my boyfriend), lashed out, grabbed a big sofa (3 kg) cushion, raised it above my head with the intention of slamming it to let off some of my steam, it folded upon itself mid-air, hit me in the back of my head and pulled my neck down as it slid back to the sofa. It would be funny in a Tom and Jerry sort of way - getting hurt by the very thing I am trying to "hurt" - if it wasn't tragic for me. This incident, like so many before of similar kind, triggers a familiar reaction: I immediately panic that I have hurt myself AGAIN and that the injury, like all my previous injuries, will compromise my life, put me out of action and lead me to despair or full-blown depression and isolation that will last as long as my symptoms do. Days, weeks, months, even years. I get into a FREEZE mode, where I put my life on hold, as I metaphorically speaking (or not) curl up in the corner (in FEAR) and wait for the reality of my situation to explode and run its course (heal or not heal). This idiotic reaction of mine is the fruit of experiences: my body has been through countless minor injuries and a few small surgical interventions many of which have led me to develop chronic health problems. I understand that my brain has a lot of responsibility for this. I FEAR this happening so I make it happen. This is, I guess, a case of Health Anxiety causing TMS. FEARING does not encourage the body to heal like it should. If anything, it perpetuates inflammation through muscle contraction and constricts proper smooth blood flow. The lack of sleep also has a negative impact on my health. Thanks to the TMS work, I have learned how to treat my chronic symptoms, how to not give in to the fear around them, and how to react differently. I've seen a lot of improvement through thinking emotionally rather than physically. It has created a distance between my physical symptoms and me and I have really noticed than not giving them attention, they are losing their grip on me. But what I have now is a NEW INJURY. No doctor has evaluated it to confirm that there is no significant damage there. It will be months before I know if this becomes a new chronic pain. I guess I should go and have it checked out but I dread going to doctors as they always make me feel even worse (physically and emotionally). Besides, I am pretty sure I didn't break anything, that what I have at the most is a soft tissue injury - (or perhaps a vertebrae misalignment?!) and that there is little I can do other than just .. take it easy and NOT FRET. ... but I can't seem to be able to do that! The injury happened 2 days ago and I am still paralyzed with fear! How do I stop my brain from scaring me? Do I need to get an X-ray? Do I need to get an MRI? I can move my head in all directions. My pain is not bad enough for me to take painkillers. It is bad enough to scare the shit out of me, but then again, it takes very little of physical discomfort to really scare me! How can I quieten my brain, make me feel safe and not worried? Distraction methods are not working at all ... I am completely symptom obsessed when it's in this acute stage and a new injury too.