Bunneh
Peer Supporter
Hello everyone!
I thought I'd share my story before I go completely insane from all the pain.
My name's Anna and I'm 27. I live in Poland.
My problems started around February this year when I experienced severe panic attacks along with health anxiety issues. At first I thought I was going to die of some serious neurological disease as my body began to twitch all over. For the next couple of weeks or so I wasn't able to sleep at night because I was sure I was going to die soon. The twitching subsided after my neuro had assured me that there was nothing wrong with me. Then the symptoms changed and I started experiencing tingling/muscle weakness in my hands to the point I was barely able to lift a bottle of water. I run to the neuro again and she ordered an MRI of cervical spine that came back normal. I also went to a psychiatrist who put me on Xanax and Seroquel to help me overcome the insomnia. The symptoms subsided a bit and I was finally able to sleep at night for more than 2-3 hours. Recently, however, I developed joint-like pain in my right wrist and decided to go to a rheumy who ordered a few bloodtests (CRP, sed rate and rheumatoid factor) which also came back normal except the RF which was slightly elevated 40,89, while 0-30 is the norm. The doc told me that as long as there is no joint swelling or redness, there's nothing to worry about. He also told me that 5-10% of healthy people have an a slightly elevated RF. But I already googled it (worst thing to do when you're dealing with health anxiety) and read about rheumatoid arthritis which almost drove me crazy and I developed a widespread body pain, especially in the neck, arms and wrists. Apart from that I feel pain above my knees, ankles and my buttocks. My body is sore at all times, and the neck pain won't let me sleep at night. No amount of pain killers seems helpful and right now I'm at the point I no longer see myself as a healthy person in the future. I'm so scared that I developed fibromyalgia from all this worrying.
I'd like to mention that prior to all the physical symptoms I was experiencing overwhelming stress on daily basis: My mom got sick again - she suffers from bipolar disorder, I am her only hope and caregiver. My dad left us when I was about 6 months old.
Apart from that, this is my last year at University and my supervisor decided to nominate my yet unfinshed M.A. thesis for the Dean's award (I am under a terrible pressure). Btw. I am an English Studies student and I love English more than my mother tongue.
I am also a perfectionist and I do not accept failures. This is what brought me to a conclusion that in fact I might have developed TMS (I recently read Dr. Sarno's "Healing back pain") and was almost symptom free for a couple of days, but then I started doing waaay too much overthinking and concentrated on the 'what ifs' . I immediately relapsed and my symptoms struck with a double strentgh.
I feel depressed, weak, fatigued and sore. And my muscles feel as if they were about to spasm badly. I'm tired of all this pain I'm going through. I don't have as many panic attacks as a few months back. Instead, I feel pains all over my body that can be so debilitating I want to kill myself. :/ I'm still on Xanax (2 months straight - not the smartest idea, I know). Started practising autogenic training about a month ago but it hasn't brought much relief.
Any advice is much appreciated!
(P.s. Lol, I already edited the threat twice to correct some typos so that you won't think I'm stupid or something...freaking perfectionism and low self-esteem :/)
I thought I'd share my story before I go completely insane from all the pain.
My name's Anna and I'm 27. I live in Poland.
My problems started around February this year when I experienced severe panic attacks along with health anxiety issues. At first I thought I was going to die of some serious neurological disease as my body began to twitch all over. For the next couple of weeks or so I wasn't able to sleep at night because I was sure I was going to die soon. The twitching subsided after my neuro had assured me that there was nothing wrong with me. Then the symptoms changed and I started experiencing tingling/muscle weakness in my hands to the point I was barely able to lift a bottle of water. I run to the neuro again and she ordered an MRI of cervical spine that came back normal. I also went to a psychiatrist who put me on Xanax and Seroquel to help me overcome the insomnia. The symptoms subsided a bit and I was finally able to sleep at night for more than 2-3 hours. Recently, however, I developed joint-like pain in my right wrist and decided to go to a rheumy who ordered a few bloodtests (CRP, sed rate and rheumatoid factor) which also came back normal except the RF which was slightly elevated 40,89, while 0-30 is the norm. The doc told me that as long as there is no joint swelling or redness, there's nothing to worry about. He also told me that 5-10% of healthy people have an a slightly elevated RF. But I already googled it (worst thing to do when you're dealing with health anxiety) and read about rheumatoid arthritis which almost drove me crazy and I developed a widespread body pain, especially in the neck, arms and wrists. Apart from that I feel pain above my knees, ankles and my buttocks. My body is sore at all times, and the neck pain won't let me sleep at night. No amount of pain killers seems helpful and right now I'm at the point I no longer see myself as a healthy person in the future. I'm so scared that I developed fibromyalgia from all this worrying.
I'd like to mention that prior to all the physical symptoms I was experiencing overwhelming stress on daily basis: My mom got sick again - she suffers from bipolar disorder, I am her only hope and caregiver. My dad left us when I was about 6 months old.
Apart from that, this is my last year at University and my supervisor decided to nominate my yet unfinshed M.A. thesis for the Dean's award (I am under a terrible pressure). Btw. I am an English Studies student and I love English more than my mother tongue.
I am also a perfectionist and I do not accept failures. This is what brought me to a conclusion that in fact I might have developed TMS (I recently read Dr. Sarno's "Healing back pain") and was almost symptom free for a couple of days, but then I started doing waaay too much overthinking and concentrated on the 'what ifs' . I immediately relapsed and my symptoms struck with a double strentgh.
I feel depressed, weak, fatigued and sore. And my muscles feel as if they were about to spasm badly. I'm tired of all this pain I'm going through. I don't have as many panic attacks as a few months back. Instead, I feel pains all over my body that can be so debilitating I want to kill myself. :/ I'm still on Xanax (2 months straight - not the smartest idea, I know). Started practising autogenic training about a month ago but it hasn't brought much relief.
Any advice is much appreciated!
(P.s. Lol, I already edited the threat twice to correct some typos so that you won't think I'm stupid or something...freaking perfectionism and low self-esteem :/)
Last edited:
I cried like a baby when I first saw this video on the official Metallica YT profile. 
I'm sure SteveO would approve of this message.
