IBS, Gastritis, Sibo and other digestive issues

Hello,
I am 29 year old male. 6 years ago i started having some mild issues which progressed into symptoms which are highly impacting my day to day life with lots of suffering. 6 years ago i stated having some mild discomfort in lower abdomen and later it went higher to stomach, mouth and whole body. Today i feel bloated 24/7. Have discomfort and pain in lower and upper abdomen. My mouth hurts and has inflamations inside on top palet and top of the tongue. Ears are ringing. Feeling full and in pain all the time. Fatigue and tired. I went to multiple doctors starting ,gastro, autoimune, etc. Every year i am geting new diagnoses like:
IBS ( doctor said it's post infectious and imune system is making antibodys which affects my intestines)
SIBO
Gastritis
Burning mouth syndrome
Geographic tongue
Tinitus
Dysbiosis(this one was given to me by naturopath)
Frequent urination(dont know name for it)
+couple more which are related to digestion but i do not remember names.

I tried multiple meds. Antibiotic protocol was given to me at least 6-7times with different mixtures and did not help at all. Antacids, steroids, contipation meds, probiotics and much more. No changes just slowly getting worse. I tried multiple diets like Vegan, Paleo, IBS diet, Sibo diet, fodmap , low fat, high fat. Fasting 6 days. Coconut fasting. No changes. Tried chinese medicine, accupuncture, Naturopath, Supplements. Multiple therapies. Nothing helps. I had like 3 colonoscopies 5 endoscopies. Capsule endoscopy. Smart pill exam. They cannot find cause for this progressing issue.
Sorry for long letter but its hard to put 6 years of life into small paragraph.
I just have two questions and would realy appreciate your response.

Did someone had similar issues and had succes overcoming them with TMS protocol?
If you did, how did you get healthy again?

P.s I am reading book of Doctor Sarno (Mindbody perscription). I do believe that my issues could be from TMS, but still wanted to check with people who had similar problems and overcame them.

 

Very likely to be tms. But it is sensible to look at allergens - maybe you have? I spent much of my childhood with stomach ache, eventually given huge operation at 15 - still had pain after - turned out it was an intolerance to milk! Once i cut it out i was fine - but in the 70s they didn't believe milk could be bad for you!! Now i just steer clear of cream but can eat cheese (i love cheese!)
But if you are ok with dairy/gluten/ caffeine etc - then tms is most likely the culprit. Especially if symptoms change, alter or move around. When one goes, another arrives....
Try the Structured Educational programme on the TMSwiki main site - it is a win/win - good for everyone! (imho)

 

Did the allergy testing and tried to go gluten, dairy , caffeine and sugar free diet. Did not get better. I also think it's TMS. Wanted to see how someone overcame it using TMS protocol. I am going thru TMS wiki program right now. Thank you

 

I began experiencing IBS in sixth grade after dealing with major anxiety (including but not limited to a phobia of eating solid food because I thought I would choke on it and die). I also developed SIBO in college after prolonged antibiotic use, which cleared up with the right medications and probiotics. I do have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos (hEDS), which leaves me with some structural digestive issues (faulty connective tissue means faulty organs and digestive processes), but I strongly believe that an overactive sympathetic nervous system from stress is behind 95% of the IBS symptoms I've experienced. I didn't understand that what was happening to me was primarily stress related in college, but I did eventually stop obsessing over the IBS when I realized I wasn't going to die from it, and that's when it calmed down for me.

The reason why I mention my past phobia of solid food is because I think it made me focus on my body and digestive system way too much, making my IBS even worse.

Looking back on it, I also had incidents in 2012, 2014, and 2016 where I experienced extreme stress at the office (I worked myself into the ground because I was getting huge raises and great promotions and didn't know how to set work/life boundaries). I ended up having to take time off from work because I would begin vomiting and having other gastritis symptoms that left me bedridden and stuck in the bathroom. I blamed the incidents on food poisoning or unknown viruses at the time, which is amusing to me because they all happened within days of major stress. How did I not make the obvious connection?

My brother, who also experiences high degrees of anxiety and even had a doctor diagnose his crippling back pain as stress related, had a colonoscopy yesterday. His intestines were completely inflamed and he had some rectal bleeding. He was convinced he had some type of cancer or Chrohn's disease. Does he? Nope. The results came back 100% clear. My mom wants me to have a serious talk with him about stress. Yes, we do have have hEDS, and that certainly makes us more susceptible to bodily dysfunction, but stress is the main cause behind what we're going through.

In case you're curious as to how the sympathetic nervous system affections your digestion, as well as how relaxation can improve your digestion:

1) https://www.thesuppersprograms.org/content/fight-or-flight-vs-rest-and-digest (Fight or Flight vs. Rest and Digest | The Suppers Programs)
2) http://diyhealthblog.com/2012/08/why-do-doctors-say-ibs-is-in-your-head/ (Why Do Doctors Say IBS is in your Head? – Do It Yourself Health)

 

IBS and dyspepsia are two of my main TMS issues (pelvic pain being the other big one, along with some anxiety and other little things that pop up here and there). I am not fully recovered yet, and I haven't had nearly as extensive of tests as you have, but I can say that this work has been a major help. On the one hand, the pain and discomfort have decreased some. I have more pain-free days now than I had before. But possibly more importantly, the pain and discomfort aren't limiting my life to the degree that they had been before. I am eating more foods that I was scared to eat. I'm willing to put myself in more situations where I might end up in pain because the pain, even if present, doesn't bother me as much. There are still times when it gets the best of me for sure. There are definitely still times when I say no to something I might have otherwise wanted to eat/do because I don't want to hurt. But my life is getting bigger and bigger, slowly, over time. Now that I've stopped searching for a cure (which would lead to full-on despair every time I had a symptom because it meant whatever cure I was trying hadn't "worked") and have started reframing my relationship with the pain, it's not the zero-sum game that it was before. Progress is progress. And the pain sometimes gives me an opportunity to explore my feelings and access closed-off emotions that I would have ignored before. So sometimes the pain is even a positive in that regard. Sometimes it just hurts and sucks and I want it over. But I feel positive more than negative these days.

The Pain Recovery Program on this site has helped me a lot. Journaling has been a huge help, but only when I learned how to do it in a productive way. I really liked the book Expressive Writing by James Pennebaker (and someone else whose name I can't remember). I also found a PDF of a condensed version of Dr. Schubiner's program, which I liked so much that I am going to buy his books. The Pain Recovery Program was helpful, but I've learned that the only way I can get on top of what's happening is to recognize it as a doorway to the emotions that I've been unwilling to feel.

So, yes, there is hope for you, I think. Your description of your symptoms, tests, and treatments sounds so much like a lot of people on this site - where something is obviously wrong, but nobody can find a satisfying medical explanation. That's when it's time to think psychological. I'm finding that TMS work even helps with situations that do have medical, structural causes. Not as a cure, or as a replacement for medical treatment, but as a way to change your relationship with the pain so it doesn't come to define your life. So even if you were to discover something structural behind your symptoms, the work can still be very valuable.

Caulfield, your post reminded me of something I've been thinking about lately. My family has a generations-long fear of vomiting, passed from parent to child by the parents' obvious disgust with/fear of their sick child. I have the same fear, and, now that I have a small child, I'm feeling an urgent need to address it before I pass it along to my kid. In writing about it, I've connected it not only with the same childhood issues that led to some of my TMS symptoms (fearing rejection by a parent, being afraid of being a mess emotionally or physically, not wanting to be a burden, etc), but also with a worsening of the TMS symptoms themselves. Since my symptoms are digestive in nature and involve an upset stomach, I fear them (and it makes sense that my mind would choose to place the pain there, where I have the most fear). IBS pain used to make me sick to my stomach all night when I was a kid. It doesn't anymore, but when it's coupled with dyspepsia, or when I have dyspepsia alone, I still give the symptoms energy and power with an unconscious fear that they might make me vomit. I didn't even realize that fear was still there because it had been decades since IBS made me sick, but it's there. Finding that has been huge for reducing the power my symptoms have. And it has been a big deal in beginning to address my overall fear of vomiting, although I still have a ways to go there. So it's different from being afraid to eat solid food for fear of choking, but it's along similar lines. Fear gives the symptoms so much power. I'm glad you brought that up to give me an opportunity to reflect on it some more.

 

Hi All,

I find this post very interest. My Mom passed away a month ago. I was involved in all the care giving and have had numerous TMS symptons....

My latest now is stomach and possible IBS...

I also have WHITE tongue which many associate for yeast overgrowth. I am scared because there are so many Naturopathic doctors who do not have any medical training. A friend of mine used to work as a naturopath and since moved over to real science medicine.

My point is, caulfield listed those two awesome links above regarding how mind affects stomach, but, looking further into the site of this gal who is a nutrionist/functional medicine doctor who charges $700.00 and even $900.00 using diet and supplements and counseltation that is expensive...

My friend who was a naturopathic doctor said not to trust them that many of the test they use are not scientific proven...I have seen many people parasite cleanse, diet hardcore, detox, and it ruins there body...They think they are detoxing, but, I am wondering if it is all the natural poisonus herbs they are taking.

I am just wondering if deep relaxation and using mindbody connection (TMS) is enough to help get stomach problems under control. I remember on the TMShelp.com one gal stated that Doctor Sarno said that diets where nothing but placebo effect. Plus detoxing.

Any advise?

Kalo

 

So, my first response is that anytime you develop new abdominal symptoms you should see a doctor. Whether naturopathic doctors or MDs are your thing, having tests done to rule out major medical issues is not only important for the obvious reasons, it also gives you peace of mind to delve 100% into TMS work. Since you've been around here for a while you know all of that, though, and for all I know you've already been to an MD who gave you the IBS diagnosis. In any case, I couldn't respond without adding that disclaimer first.

As far as alternative medicine goes, I've worked with a nutritionist on a highly restrictive elimination diet and tried a bit of acupuncture and a few tinctures, although I've never seen a naturopath. The best decision I made was to go on a strong, well-studied and documented probiotic with the supervision of my nutritionist, but the rest of the things I tried only had temporary benefits. (For the acute flare, ginger candies are always a huge help when my stomach is upset and fennel seeds to chew for my lower gut - I still carry them around in my purse the way some people carry ibuprofen! I haven't needed them always at arm's reach the way I used to, though, since I started TMS work.)

Since I've been a kid, I've known that reducing stress and practicing deep breathing helped my IBS symptoms. For most people, IBS is strongly connected with stress and emotional tension. I knew that connection existed, but I've treated it all this time as though stress just exacerbated an underlying condition - not as though it was the CAUSE of the condition itself. But even in the early days, my IBS flares always improved to some degree whenever I could stop what I was doing and do deep breathing, or take a nap, or a walk, or something pleasantly distracting.

Understanding TMS has taken that benefit to a whole new level. The Pain Recovery Program was huge for helping me not make the pain worse by fixating on it or tensing up against it or arranging my life around it. And, like I mentioned above, expressive writing has helped me get at what the underlying emotions are. And daily mindfulness meditation has been a good thing for me, too.

I'm still taking my probiotic, although I have lessened the dose. There have been lots of studies that suggest that mood and stress affect not only basic digestive functions, but also the actual makeup and balance of the microorganisms in your gut (and vice versa). I suspect that yeast overgrowth is *way* overdiagnosed, but even if you do have some sort of dysbiosis, it's possible that this emotional work will help heal that over time (again, no reason to ignore a doctor's advice if you agree with their diagnosis, but even if you try a medical solution, the TMS work will still help). I even noticed that as I really got going with the TMS work, I developed some signs of an *overgrowth* of lactobacilli (some of our friendliest microscopic digestive helpers), which suggests to me that my gut was beginning to balance itself out on its own and the massive probiotics that I had been on for years were now overkill.

So, no matter what treatment route you choose, in my experience mindbody work matters a lot in long-term healing. I still have issues with my gut, but I can tell I'm on a trajectory toward healing, and I've stopped doing everything pretty much everything physical other than the probiotic and deep breathing to relax my core muscles. My doctors are pretty sure there's nothing medically wrong with me, so I feel good about that decision.

Who knows if it will help you...but it definitely can't hurt to do the work!

 

Kalo,

I'm so sorry to hear of your Mom's passing. I'm aware of how fraught the care giving has been for you and hope that your life is less stressful now. May your Mom rest in the sweetest and most blessed peace.

This is a time for grieving and perhaps within this profound emotional letting go you will experience some resolution of your TMS issues. Go gently here as you've been through such a lot and the need for rest is paramount.

I believe pretty much all digestive issues are TMS, be this due to conditioning or hypersensitivity of the enteric nervous system. Our tummies are very effected by emotions so it always benefits us to reflect on the mindbody component.

I used to suffer dreadfully with various digestive problems, and thrush (candida) was a terrible, long standing problem for me. I've taken a probiotic for years and it works like a charm. I do think there is much merit to the gut microbiome and brain health connection but it troubles me to see it spun into a mini industry. I wouldn't bother too much with all that stuff. I was heavily invested in it for years but I've come to see that nothing is more powerful than the mindbody connection. Too many of the alternative models are little more than rabbit holes that take you nowhere and serve as classic distractions. I tend to agree with Sarno on the placebo front. Find a diet you like, that works for you and refocus on TMS protocol.

If your white tongue bothers you than look on YouTube for ways of removing the gunk with salt. No biggie.

Keep smiling, keep singing and be at peace.

Love to you

Plum x

 

Thanks Fern for your advise. I have NOT been seen by a medical doctor. My stomach problems began shortly after we burried my Mom. I had so much STRESS!

Hi Plum,

Thank you for your words as well...Doctor Schubiner saw a photo of my tongue and told me not to worry about it. The color will change back after my stress level goes down. I had SIX doctors including a Oral Surgeon, ENT Schwabed for thrush...They all told me that it was not thrush and not to worry about it.

I have been through so much since my poor Mom died. She lasted for 7 months on ensure and water. I saw her dwindle and it was so horrifiyng and I was the only one to visit each day! Also, the stomach pains came on four days after we burried her. The funeral parlor did a big mistake and didn't even bother to fix my Mom up. Those jerks thought it was a closed casket. We opened it for a view at church and her hair wasn't combed, her lipstick, she looked like the joker and her mouth wasn't crooked. Also, the day she died I saw her and it was all traumatizing.

I burried my Mom, then went back to work a day later. I am told by my family to move on..She lived a good life...But she was my best friend.

Also, I have lots of pressure from work to put a smile on my face and be a jack of all trades..

The only thing I can do is focus on my pains and fears. Btw, my tongue has been white for almost two years. No amout of salt, baking soda, you name it I tried it EVERYTHING removed it....

Any how, I don't want to hi jack this post, but, so much happened and that change was huge..

Thanks
Kalo

 

I can definately say since i got to know about TMS. I am deffinately feeling better. At least emotionaly. I want to believe that i can be 100% healthy again. Thats why i wanted to see if anyone got completely cured of these Digestive issue by using TMS techniques?

 

I've overcome digestive issues but they weren't my main problem so they were dealt with vicariously. Hopefully someone else will chime in with something more helpful. Meantime take a gander at this recent success story.

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/loving-my-life-again.17943/#post-95214 (Loving my life again)

 

I keep returning to this thread these past few days. Artlift29's original post in particular, and Fern, Plum and Caulfieds' comments as well., and everyone else's contribution. IBS/digestion is my main TMS symptom. I'm 68 years old and these full blown symptoms, particularly bloating, rectal/anal pain and urinary frequency, blew up in 2011 following a severe back injury in 2009.

But that's too simplistic. Food has always had a heavy emotional charge for me. My mother's furious outbursts at my father at mealtimes. School, where everyone was made to finish every scrap of our meals even though we were full - I remember trying to force down the unwanted food with mouthfuls of water. Then in my teens food binges set in and a decades long battle of trying to eat healthily, falling off the wagon and consuming enough junk food in one sitting to feed an army. Comfort eating because I found life so stressful, supersensitive, super responsible, feeling a failure and not good enough, yet holding down fairly high powered jobs. And the weight, oh the weight battles. Eventually I turned to alcohol and after a few years had to seek help for this addiction. I haven't had a drink for 25 years now and am so thankful for that. But the stress, the TMS personality type remained. And at the back of my mind my father. All his life he had severe indigestion. Never travelled without his various indigestion rememedies. He died in his 80s of abdominal cancer.

When my acute symptoms kicked in in 2011 I was given an endoscopy and various other tests. All clear. So I was told it was IBS and more or less that I should get on with it. In my more cynical moments I tell myself that this is the gut's revenge for the the years of abuse it suffered!

Then began the search for answers: a naturopath, a nutritionist, acupuncture, homeopathy, countless googling attempts, so many disappointments. Good things did come out of this quest. I now eat very healthily and enjoy doing so, take a probiotic, the eating binges have stopped and my weight has stabilised. And again, I'm thankful for this.

But I'm now at a point where I can accept more easily that this is a mind/body issue, that I 100% fit Sarno's description of the TMS personality type - though I still have a sneaking unease that somewhere out there is a magic probiotic/drug/treatment that will fix this IBS overnight if only I could track it down. But I think this is lessening. And to be brutal, I don't have all that many years left and I have to stop putting my life on hold, which I have been doing for the past 7 years. The symptoms may never go away but I can't waste any more of my limited time. I have to get out there and gradually widen my horizons. It won't be a quick fix I know, but I have to make a start. I've begun meditating and journaling and just doing a bit more each week of things I enjoy, as well as accomplishing the practicalities - which I enjoy as well.

Again, thanks everyone for such a helpful discussion.

 

God Bless You @westb.

For you, for @Artlift29, for all affected by digestive troubles, I say remember that the gut is affectionately called The Second Brain or sometimes The Emotional Brain of the body. Scientists call it The Enteric Nervous System. As our nervous system develops, the neural crest subdivides into the Central and the Enteric.

It is a pretty autonomous system connected to the Central Nervous System by the vagus nerve.

Here is a link on the vagus nerve and conditioned fear (a.k.a. TMS):

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201405/how-does-the-vagus-nerve-convey-gut-instincts-the-brain (How Does the Vagus Nerve Convey Gut Instincts to the Brain?)

Research confirms that in times of extreme and chronic stress the higher brain seems to protect the gut by signalling the release of histamine, prostaglandine and other such stuff which help cause inflammation. This is a protective response. However these chemicals also cause heartburn, diarrhoea, cramping and so on. It's easy to see how this could spill over into TMS.

When you consider that the gut contains 100 million neurons (more than the spinal cord!) it is little wonder it has such dramatic effects on us. Factor in too that the major neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine are made here, as are the neuropeptides, the major cells of the immune system, endorphins, benzodiazepines...

I know so much about this because in Parkinson's, the nerves in the gut are as affected as the nerves in the brain. The joys of being a carer!

One researcher said:

"The human gut has long been seen as a repository of good and bad feelings. Perhaps emotional states from the head's brain are mirrored in the gut's brain, where they are felt by those who pay attention to them."

Classic TMS amplification?

Food for thought.

 

Plum, thank you for that scientific interlude! I am fascinated by the second brain concept. I've spent a lot of time recently trying to learn my belly's language, whose words and phrases are formed by emotions, muscle movements, and hormones. I often wonder if the fact that I'm a highly verbal person, with layers of wandering streams of verbal thoughts (and ruminations, and conversations, and plans, and...) keep me stuck in the part of my body that uses words, since that's where I'm fluent and confident. I'm not fluent at all in my body's language, even though my five senses are highly sensitive. I rarely know what my belly is saying to me, unless it shouts in obvious, un-ignorable outbursts. Which is exactly what my daughter does when no one is listening to her! More and more I think it's critical that we learn the language of our second brain. Doing so as an adult, after ignoring it for so long, is tough! But from here at the beginning of the road, I can tell that the journey is healing and opens up a whole universe inside.

Kalo, I missed in reading your post that your mom only died just over a month ago. I think plum is right that being gentle on yourself right now (or always) is the answer. In my former career, I dealt with a lot of grieving people, and digestive distress is really common with grief and loss (not to mention stress). Technically that's a mind-body thing, so I think it technically falls under TMS. But it really may not be a manifestation of your TMS (with a capital T-M-S) so much as it is just your body grieving, your belly talking in its language, processing all of the stress and change and grief and loss (and, if there are any feelings of relief or release from the intensity of your caring role, that too). Gentleness is the way to go. Over time you may notice the tummy troubles dissipating as the emotions become less raw, and sending compassionate thoughts to your belly (something that sounded silly until I tried it) will surely help a little. And, keeping with the TMS recovery approach, gently and slowly peeling back those layers of emotion and checking to see - compassionately - if there are any emotions deep down there right now that you're unwilling to feel, whether due to guilt (common for caregivers with unwelcome feelings of relief after a loved one dies), a fear of being overwhelmed by emotion, or a belief that you should be able to handle things. I hope things ease up and that you can find some space to breathe and be.

Westb, isn't it interesting how our bodies introduce pain in the parts we're most afraid of or have ignored the most? I hope this site is helpful to you as you peel back those layers and integrate all of your parts with self-love and listening again. Thank you for joining this thread! Your insights were helpful to me as I explore my own relationship with my gut.

 

Airlift29, I've been thinking about you and your last post on this thread. I've noticed you using the term "100%" a couple times, and I get the sense that what you're wanting to hear isn't "TMS work has helped, and I'm headed toward healing," but "I healed my IBS completely using TMS techniques." Which is totally understandable! The pain is awful, and wanting it gone is completely natural. Have you done Alan Gordon's Pain Recovery Program on this site yet? That's where I learned that to truly begin healing, I actually had to stop caring about whether or not the pain could ever go away completely. Which is so counterintuitive. I'm not great at it yet, but I'm getting better. My understanding is that there is anxiety and tension attached to looking for (and working for) a *cure*. It keeps your focus on the pain, which gives it power, and actually prolongs suffering. It's a learned practice (called outcome independence) that I'm still not a natural at, but the more authentic and automatic it becomes, the better I feel - and, more importantly, the less limited my life becomes.

JanATheCPA often says there are as many manifestations of TMS as there are people. If your doctors can find nothing wrong with you and you suspect TMS is driving your digestive issues, then you can jump right past asking around and looking for someone who healed these specific issues completely with TMS work and just dive in, with full hope and confidence in your TMS work. There are people who have healed "nontraditional" TMS issues like allergies, dry eye, eczema, acid reflux, etc. with the TMS approach - there's no reason to believe that you can't heal your gut, provided your doctors have ruled out everything they can (which it sounds like they have).

Does that make sense? It's totally normal to want to find someone who can tell you with certainty that they 100% healed the same issues you're having with the TMS approach. But you may not find that person, because each of us deal so differently with TMS. Learning outcome independence will help more than hearing a complete success story that matches your issues. Or, at least, it probably will. I'm still learning how this all works!

I hope this journey is fruitful for you and that you find lots of help on this site!

 

Fern, thank you for you kind words and great advice. I also do think that TMS can manifest in all kinds of unique ways. I am already following TMS healing protocol. I did finish Alan Gordons program and Mind Body perscription by Dr. Sarno. I think need to be patient now.

 

I came to realise that healing is embodied. Our modern lives snare us in the mind, alienate us from our bodies and completely devastate our intimate connection with nature.

Recently the decision was made to remove 50 nature words from the Oxford Junior Dictionary in favour of technical terms such as 'broadband' and 'chatroom'. In response one of Britain's leading nature writers crafted a book called "The Lost Words"

Brambles, conkers, wrens and starlings. Otters, dandelions, bluebells, acorns, newts and willows...

Do we really want a world like this? And we wonder why stress illness is through the roof.

The book is aimed at children as a doorway back to that magical world. It's by Robert Macfarlane and lavishly illustrated by Jackie Morris.

It's a celebration of the flora and fauna, and beyond that it's an invitation for true connection. I am sure the language of our bodies and the lost words of nature are a devotional song and imploration from a disappearing world. I hope we hear it before it is too late.

 

Oooohhh. I am distressed to hear this. For the want of including 10 more pages the editors have chosen to ignore our beloved earthlings. This is sad for us all. Good for Robert Macfarlane and Jackie Morris. I hope the parents of today will also see the value in this book and give it to their children.

Lainey

 

Thank you so much for pointing me in the direction of The Lost Words, plum! I'm not sure whether to buy it for myself or for my daughter - maybe it will just be a family purchase. Your post about the nature words being taken out of the Oxford Junior Dictionary made me truly sad for a lot of reasons, but especially because I have this little daughter. To imagine her growing up in a world where words like "acorn" aren't seen as important enough to include in a dictionary for children makes my heart hurt more than a bit. Her eyes are still so wide open and clear, and she is so receptive and attuned to the subtleties of nature. There is still such a wildness and tenderness to her, and she has always felt most at ease when she's outside. I want her never to lose it.

I'm interested in the way you've connected our attunement to nature with our attunement to our own bodies and emotions. I've always thought that my fascination with nature exists precisely because I have always lived in cities and was mostly not taught as a child to pay attention to or value its subtleties. It's a mystery to me and a whole language to learn, and I've been relishing that learning as an adult. I was also not taught to pay attention to my body and emotions except when they were a source of parental anxiety (which was often enough). I never thought of those attitudes to nature and to bodies/emotions as coming from a similar source, and I approach learning about my body very differently from how I learn about nature. I learn about nature with a sense of mystery and awe and quiet, eager attentiveness. I receive what I experience gently and with an understanding that I have no control over what is happening in the moment, receiving it as a gift. I love reading field guides, but I know that those books have very little to offer me if I'm not also immersing myself in the world they're about. But when it comes to knowing more about my body and attending to it, I tend to approach it as though I'm trying to find hacks to make it serve me better. I seek control, and the attentiveness comes from an anxious place. Even when the attention is compassionate, it is more vigilant. It's sometimes the same kind of attention I would have in nature if I had been warned that there were poisonous snakes around, or in August when spiders and webs are always strung across the trail. Sometimes it's more relaxed but still vigilant, like if I am walking on a trail that has a lot of poison ivy along the edges. It's almost never the kind of attention I have when I'm sitting on a rock in a clearing and listening to birdsong, or walking a trail that I know is safe, or sitting by a waterfall, or watching my daughter pick dandelions.

It changes the way I think of my body to invite myself to experience it the way I experience nature, and listen to its subtleties with a relaxed attention and curiosity and awe instead of vigilance. I am a part of nature, after all. I'm going to practice attending to my body the way I attend to nature this spring. Thank you for the invitation to do so!

 

First of all, get your eating habits together - do not eat too much fast food, fried food, sweets and etc. I'm sure, you heard about it. And you should heal your stomach and make these bacteria get back and do their work - you can do that both medically or naturally, but you still have to consult with your doctor in order to not make it worse. Anyways, wish you the best!