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I do not know even with which injury and fear to start- pls read my intro its beyond crazy!!!!

Vasilisa

Vasilisa

New Member
Hello members, I was reading your forum whole last night and after one member pointed out that J.Sarno reaserch can expand to cancer and other conditions - I finally join your forum cause it should be TMS keeping me Big time prisoner in this horror injuriee carrousel ....so its been a year now that I am living life where I believe that each new injury will heal and I will get back to my life living- but NO ! Just when I am about to turn the corner - by my mistake or by other outside circumstance - injury will be hitting me!!!! I am being tortured NOW with enourmous amount of fear and anxiety due to anal fissure caused by anoscopy ....I demanded this exam to rule out anal HPV cancer!!!
 
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Applying TMS theory and techniques doesn't need to be symptom-specific. It's applied all the same no matter the symptom. Let us know what TMS reading or program you're doing and we can reply more specifically to your needs. And welcome to the Forum!
 
So I was listening over and over again to this video on C-PTSD


and reading Gabor Mate /When body says NO/.

Journaling has been liberating and at the same time painful in a way that Ive never experienced before, followed by those sensations:

after 2 weeks daily journaling of my past experiences with my N mother and enabler father and golden child brother; multiple narcissists that
were in the past abusing me and making me their servant and pleaser...
I had a few hours of really good feeling during those 2 weeks and other times I was experiencing pain like my psyche and body was one entity and
I felt bizarre unease/unusual pain/mal-etre/discomfort through whole this new entity! It was painful but I let body to ride this wave of unusual sensation...
My body feels extremely exhausted as if I used all my vitality and energy given to my body from the cradle to the grave. Leaving my place for a couple of hours - exhaust me like I m 100 years old. I m 47 and since last June when my mysterious saga of one injury after another started- I was not working and staying home majority of the time, going through immense grief related to those injuries....

It was mentioned on this forum that sometimes after journaling we feel pain - meaning that our minds do not wanna experience those emotions
and hence TMS feels threatened (my guess).

I will continuer with journaling and bringing to the surface all those painful realisations of my abuse since I was born. As of tomorrow I am starting 16 hours per week internship. Regarding my anal fissure - I found a couple of nice people (on FB - AF group) who have been through this condition and reassured me that it will get better and the skin tag caused by anal fissure will not bother me once fissure is completely healed.

When My mind tries to concentrate on my bum s pains through the day - I redirect my thoughts towards my childhood abuse - putting the whole narrative in a new light where I am seeing clearly those toxic and sadistic dynamics of my parents, my choices that were in sync with Nmother and not with my ultimate needs.
 
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