Help! Backsliding!

TrustIt

TrustIt

Well known member
I need a quick pep talk whoever is available and willing. I can't seem to stop looking up my symptoms!!! Right now I am writing this instead. Gut and back pain. Sometimes severe but has gotten better gradually. It moves around and changes in intensity sometimes quickly shifting, other times lingers. I have been checked out to some degree by both alternative and conventional docs but have not had any testing like mri, ultrasound or the like, just blood tests and physical palpitations that turned up normal other than some thyroid and female hormonal swings. (I am 72) I REALLY do not want to have to go thru invasive procedures! In fact I prefer dying over being pulled into the conventional medical system. I have a white coat phobia to that extent. So I guess it's bc I haven't COMPLETELY ruled out something that could be serious that I remain concerned. And I've lost weight which could be either my anxiety about food and simply not eating enough.
At one point on this journey I actually made progress. In fact I have given others pep talks on this site as I thought I had handled it already. But it's all back again.
I keep telling myself the pain is only hypersensivity to gas and is TMS. I cant seem to totally convince my mind that digestive issues are TMS even tho I feel intuitively that I am fine and that this is occurring for me to examine my lack of emotional expression. I am the typical TMS personality type with childhood background and heavy feeling of responsibility for way too many things. I'm realizing a lot about myself and letting go constantly, but times like this... especially since I won't be going to a doc or hospital right now in the middle of this virus scare anyway...I am creating anxiety as a symptom imperative I feel sure.

First I get angry and then I fall into tears in a pity party. I just want to KNOW! I realize I have to be 100% convinced that it is TMS but that is easier said than done. I need relief from the pain and anxiety as well as the overthinking! Stress dammit!
 
Just want to add this. I am fast thinking my primary issue is anxiety! All other symptoms come from there. Anyone with anything similar who has had success i would love to hear from you. Thanks all!
 
Depending on where you are and who you are , some people are having a tough time coping with the present Scare and I have heard a lot of local stories of people melting down from the fear.

I just lost my internet for four days. I think it was divine intervention... I didn't read a story about the scare or hear about it since monday and I had a GREAT week. I had mixed feelings about them repairing the line

anxiety needs some distraction... When I went back to work a couple of weeks ago, my anxiety plummeted. Try and get busy doing something than doesn't have anything to do with the internet?
 
Baseball65 said:
Depending on where you are and who you are , some people are having a tough time coping with the present Scare and I have heard a lot of local stories of people melting down from the fear.

I just lost my internet for four days. I think it was divine intervention... I didn't read a story about the scare or hear about it since monday and I had a GREAT week. I had mixed feelings about them repairing the line

anxiety needs some distraction... When I went back to work a couple of weeks ago, my anxiety plummeted. Try and get busy doing something than doesn't have anything to do with the internet?
Click to expand...

well, i do realize there is a lot of general anxiety going on right now..many reasons including "the scare". i am not afraid of it at all. i am obeying the rules, but not in the least concerned. i believe it is just another flu season. that said, i am not intending a discussion about that at all. just responding to your suggestion. i have had the anxiety long before all this "stuff" out there came about. anyway, won't go into my history again here and i'm bored with it myself. am also bored with internet, and some of my friends who have also lost internet for at least a number of days say the same thing you are saying...it is a gift. information overload!!! have pulled way back other than to check in here. i distract myself in many ways...mostly out in nature. glad yours has settled and you are back to work. thank you for your reply, Baseball65. i appreciate you.
 
TrustIt said:
I need a quick pep talk whoever is available and willing. I can't seem to stop looking up my symptoms!!! Right now I am writing this instead. Gut and back pain. Sometimes severe but has gotten better gradually. It moves around and changes in intensity sometimes quickly shifting, other times lingers. I have been checked out to some degree by both alternative and conventional docs but have not had any testing like mri, ultrasound or the like, just blood tests and physical palpitations that turned up normal other than some thyroid and female hormonal swings. (I am 72) I REALLY do not want to have to go thru invasive procedures! In fact I prefer dying over being pulled into the conventional medical system. I have a white coat phobia to that extent. So I guess it's bc I haven't COMPLETELY ruled out something that could be serious that I remain concerned. And I've lost weight which could be either my anxiety about food and simply not eating enough.
At one point on this journey I actually made progress. In fact I have given others pep talks on this site as I thought I had handled it already. But it's all back again.
I keep telling myself the pain is only hypersensivity to gas and is TMS. I cant seem to totally convince my mind that digestive issues are TMS even tho I feel intuitively that I am fine and that this is occurring for me to examine my lack of emotional expression. I am the typical TMS personality type with childhood background and heavy feeling of responsibility for way too many things. I'm realizing a lot about myself and letting go constantly, but times like this... especially since I won't be going to a doc or hospital right now in the middle of this virus scare anyway...I am creating anxiety as a symptom imperative I feel sure.

First I get angry and then I fall into tears in a pity party. I just want to KNOW! I realize I have to be 100% convinced that it is TMS but that is easier said than done. I need relief from the pain and anxiety as well as the overthinking! Stress dammit!
Click to expand...

I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Like you, I’m angry and worried, but not about getting the virus, and I’m very much opposed to Western medical intervention. I’m still working on my pain and past traumas but I have had a lot of success dealing with the anxiety that keeps coming up through tapping, so thought maybe I should recommend it to you. Have you heard of Emotional Freedom Technique aka EFT aka tapping? It’s helped me bring the panic level way, way down, and can even help with handling issues from the past by making the anguish felt by thinking about them less overwhelming.

Hang in there. The world’s gone mad, but we got this❤️
 
KittenLePurr, thank you, yes i have done tapping for many years. it doesn't work as well for me as for some apparently. i think i am mainly reacting to all the obfuscation around the virus and the agenda that lies beneath it. there is an urgency in this world right now to prevent a mass extinction that is imminent unless we take back our personal power. tms is very helpful in this as it is indeed about personal power. thank you for your reply and stay vigilant! we aren't being told the truth.
 
TrustIt said:
KittenLePurr, thank you, yes i have done tapping for many years. it doesn't work as well for me as for some apparently. i think i am mainly reacting to all the obfuscation around the virus and the agenda that lies beneath it. there is an urgency in this world right now to prevent a mass extinction that is imminent unless we take back our personal power. tms is very helpful in this as it is indeed about personal power. thank you for your reply and stay vigilant! we aren't being told the truth.
Click to expand...

I 100% agree!!! I’m upset about the same thing. So I’m wavering between outrage and terror (over mandates that could strip out personal, physical sovereignty and body autonomy) and peaceful presence in each moment, which I then worry is actually just me being in denial! It’s a crazy ride.

Sorry to hear tapping doesn’t work so well for you. I used to feel like it didn’t do that much for me either but luckily started feeling it does, although sometimes I have to do it more than once or twice! I’ve been really clinging to it during this insane time. If there’s anything that helps you more, I say just lean on it as much as you possibly can. I, too, struggle with wanting to know. I keep trying to “figure it out.” It’s been helpful to read other threads on here where people say you don’t have to, that loving yourself and doing the investigation inward is enough.

You got this. I don’t know what’s going to happen and I fear it will be bad but all we can do is our best, in this moment. And luckily, we’re on this healing journey, so we’re very fortunate to have tools to navigate this. Hang in there.
 
yes, you got this, too. we will get through this ride and see many silver linings. the light will win out. so be it.
 
TrustIt said:
Just want to add this. I am fast thinking my primary issue is anxiety! All other symptoms come from there. Anyone with anything similar who has had success i would love to hear from you. Thanks all!
Click to expand...
I have almost identical issues to you, I too believe it to be tms as I had Candida albicans around 20 years ago and was convinced it had returned due to a lot of stress.
 
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