Hi everyone. I’ve decided to become a bit more active in the TMS community. I went through the program in 2014 after a work related back injury and had some success. After the pain mostly went away I sadly gave up on all the skills I learned through the program and went back to my old self. I was never fully able to break the fear of back pain however. I was still partially stuck between physical and psychological. I’ve had some recent flare ups of back pain and anxiety and this time I want to be committed to not only becoming pain free but to also become fear free. As long as I am afraid I will never fully be cured of TMS. Some background: I work as a paramedic and hurt myself in December 2013 lifting a patient. Was off work for 3 months. In that time I had an MRI that showed Schmorl’s Nodes which I was told are nothing to worry about by the doctor. X-Rays were also normal. I found Healing Back Pain during this time and read it and really agreed with the idea that my pain is due to emotions. I have always been an anxious person, worrier and perfectionist. So my recent flare up of back pain started about a month ago. It is pretty mild and I only feel it when I bend forward. I am still working full time as a medic and lifting heavy at the gym. I don’t want to give these things up. I started to feel myself spiraling into that fear pain cycle again which is why I am going to go through the program again and this time I will not give up as soon as I feel relief. I want to break the fear for good this time. I am on day 4 right now and I am hopeful for the future. I have seen a doctor for my recent flare up and have an MRI scheduled just to rule out anything like cancer or infection, but until then I will be assuming this is just another TMS flare up. Things I have tried that have done nothing are massage, chiro, naproxen and tylenol. I am seeing a psychotherapist periodically to work through some things, and have had some recent stress in my life that may have been the precursor to this flare up. I have decided to stop all physical treatment at this point. Thankfully I am still working and maintaining all my activities so I think I will have an easier time at this than my 2014 episode when I pretty much retreated into my apartment for 3 months. I am really appreciative of this community and I am hoping to post a success story here some day. My benchmark for success will be eliminating not only the pain but also the fear. If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions I would greatly appreciate it.