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Feeling worse after doing compassionate enquiry (Gabor mate)

Ellen said:
Lee,
I said it before, and I'll say it again. You need to change your thinking about the anger for it to change. Just feeling it over and over is not helpful. You're caught in a loop.
Click to expand...

Change it how?

If I say too much I'm playing the victim card, if I forget about it and just get on with things, then I'm not dealing with it and I'm gonna get mental health problems


I'm all out of ideas
 
I didn't read all this thread, just the last few comments. And not all of them, just a few sentences from each.

What I did when I had anger towards x or y person...is I just thought about them with compassion. I felt sorry for them, the way they acted in the past. Or in the present. I stay away from them. If I can't stay away, I just accept them as they are. That's them functioning at their 100% capabilities. And that's the way it is. Nothing I can do about it, so I accept it.

I don't have to love them or spend time with them, or even talk to them often. I can love them from a distance, and have minimal interactions with them, if you know what I mean...

I don't know if this comment is even pertinent for this subject...if it's not - just ignore it.
 
Lee222 said:
Change it how?

If I say too much I'm playing the victim card, if I forget about it and just get on with things, then I'm not dealing with it and I'm gonna get mental health problems


I'm all out of ideas
Click to expand...

You’ve felt the anger, and that’s valid. It’s also okay to move on now. Sometimes you have to gently signal to your brain that we’re safe to keep going, by repetition, and eventually it catches on.

If this were me, I’d gently speak to myself: I’ve revisited this wound many times, and I’ve done the best that I could to feel it, I’m letting it go and moving on now.

You probably will need to repeat it a few times as our brain likes to latch onto things but you get the point.
 
How do I move on if the tension i feel is so big?

Without some sort of drug or addiction it's almost too much

I've lost a lot of friends over the last year or so because of doing the Sarno technique and the tension it brings up

I'm not sure another year would be good
 
@Lee222
I had the same thing happen with Sarno and the emphasis on anger. I think it’s good to recognize your past issues and to work through them, which I think you’ve done and I have too. But, after that, I think it does sometimes hurt more than help. This journey is difficult because every single person’s healing must be tailor made. We have to seek out what will work for us and apply it. We can only get clues from other people‘s journeys.

I will tell you that there are quite a number of other avenues aside from Sarno’s (although Sarno is the underlying premise for everyone since he is the one who first pointed out TMS was a mind-body issue). You might like to look into David Hanscom— he’s big on forgiveness; claims without it you will have too much tension. He has an app and a book. I’ve done his app. It’s very helpful!

There’s also Alan Gordon— his book, The Way Out. He has made a free class, here on the forum, called the pain recovery program. It’s great! He’s one of many who focus on how changing the patterns in the brain will give you relief. It’s called neuroplasticity. His program will teach you the basics, and you can expand from there.

Don’t give up hope. Just keep soldiering on! You’ll find your healing if you don’t give up.
 
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