Feeling worse after doing compassionate enquiry (Gabor mate)

[Lee222]

His therapy caused me a lot of mental health problems.

I bought his book, watched the YouTube videos etc.

I saw 2 therapists, connected to all my emotions, then I started to go downhill quite fast, my anxiety seemed to double overnight and I went downhill fast.

I told the therapist and he seemed to pull away

Is this common, if so what can I do? There's not a lot of support on their website

 

[HealingMe]

Hello! I’m not familiar with Compassionate Inquiry specifically, but I am familiar with feeling a bit worse -- like an uptick in anxiety -- when doing deeper emotional work. This is actually quite common.

With that in mind, my advice is to slow things down for now and really, really focus on soothing yourself. I’m not sure how quickly you dove into the emotional inquiry, but it can take some time for the mind and body to settle after touching on feelings that may be unfamiliar or have been pushed down for a long time.

Do things that help you feel calm, safe, and grounded. By giving yourself that kind of care, you’re helping your mind and body gently process what’s been coming up.

Wishing you the best of luck.

 

[Alouqua47]

Hola. Si empezaste a investigar sobre la SMT y a ver videos, también es posible que el aumento de tu ansiedad sea el llamado síntoma imperativo. En otras palabras, mucha gente dice que los síntomas suelen empeorar al principio. Es como si el cerebro se resistiera a un patrón al que ya estaba acostumbrado. De hecho, a mí también me pasó.

Su terapia me provocó muchos problemas de salud mental.

Compré su libro, vi los vídeos de YouTube, etc.

Via a 2 terapeutas, me conecté con todas mis emociones, luego comencé a ir cuesta abajo bastante rápido, mi ansiedad pareció duplicarse de la noche a la mañana y fui cuesta abajo rápidamente.

Se lo dije al terapeuta y él pareció alejarse.

¿Es esto común? Si es así, ¿qué puedo hacer? No hay mucho soporte en su sitio web.

 

[BloodMoon]

Although a number of people have mentioned on these forums that Gabor Mate's work has chimed with them in one way or another, 'compassionate enquiry', isn't something I've ever seen discussed on these forums (and a quick search that I did of the forums seems to confirm that).

 

[Lee222]

Hello! I’m not familiar with Compassionate Inquiry specifically, but I am familiar with feeling a bit worse -- like an uptick in anxiety -- when doing deeper emotional work. This is actually quite common.

With that in mind, my advice is to slow things down for now and really, really focus on soothing yourself. I’m not sure how quickly you dove into the emotional inquiry, but it can take some time for the mind and body to settle after touching on feelings that may be unfamiliar or have been pushed down for a long time.

Do things that help you feel calm, safe, and grounded. By giving yourself that kind of care, you’re helping your mind and body gently process what’s been coming up.

Wishing you the best of luck.

The feelings didn't have some big impact on me, it was a few months ago now, it's not like I'm processing some deep emotions I uncovered, it just made my anxiety much worse

Nothing new came up

 

[HealingMe]

I understand. Is this the only thing you have tried?

 

[Lee222]

I understand. Is this the only thing you have tried?

No, I've tried dozens of therapies, I'm able to connect to my emotions but it's always done more harm than good.

I remember doing faster eft about ten years ago and they nearly finished me off

 

[Rabscuttle]

No, I've tried dozens of therapies, I'm able to connect to my emotions but it's always done more harm than good.

I remember doing faster eft about ten years ago and they nearly finished me off

There’s a lot more to this than just repressed emotions. Maybe there’s something bigger picture that’s off? Yeah emotions or trauma could be what kicks off chronic symptoms or primes us for them, but we can easily keep them going by how we treat ourselves, how we live, what we engage in, how we react to the symptoms, thoughts patterns etc.

 

[Rusty Red]

Dan Buglio did a video recently that said it may start with repressed emotions, but that may not be the reason you are stuck there. Pretty much what @Rabscuttle said.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

There’s a lot more to this than just repressed emotions. Maybe there’s something bigger picture that’s off? Yeah emotions or trauma could be what kicks off chronic symptoms or primes us for them, but we can easily keep them going by how we treat ourselves, how we live, what we engage in, how we react to the symptoms, thoughts patterns etc.

I would say too that I think people tend to isolate "repressed emotions" as a concept, when working on emotions in that way should result in treating ourselves better as you said (which is really at the root of the environment that perpetuates TMS, once we believe there's nothing wrong with us structurally) because it's an exercise in self-compassion and we should also take lessons from it going forward (both to stop future repression but also to understand how we think and our triggers so we can live with a better internal state moving forward).

I.e. It isn't just about looking back at what happened but more so "Ok that happened and I accept it, how can that help me moving forward and what can I learn from it". If you let it go then you can also let go how it indirectly impacts your behaviour and your internal state in the now (it's only trauma and the emotions are only repressed because they weren't acceptable, so inevitably they are going to impact things in the present in some way).

 

[Rabscuttle]

I would say too that I think people tend to isolate "repressed emotions" as a concept, when working on emotions in that way should result in treating ourselves better as you said (which is really at the root of the environment that perpetuates TMS, once we believe there's nothing wrong with us structurally) because it's an exercise in self-compassion and we should also take lessons from it going forward (both to stop future repression but also to understand how we think and our triggers so we can live with a better internal state moving forward).

I.e. It isn't just about looking back at what happened but more so "Ok that happened and I accept it, how can that help me moving forward and what can I learn from it". If you let it go then you can also let go how it indirectly impacts your behaviour and your internal state in the now (it's only trauma and the emotions are only repressed because they weren't acceptable, so inevitably they are going to impact things in the present in some way).

Well said Adam, this very much sums up the direction my healing journey has taken, and has led to me seeing the best results.

 

[Bonnard]

His therapy caused me a lot of mental health problems.

I bought his book, watched the YouTube videos etc.

I saw 2 therapists, connected to all my emotions, then I started to go downhill quite fast, my anxiety seemed to double overnight and I went downhill fast.

I told the therapist and he seemed to pull away

Is this common, if so what can I do? There's not a lot of support on their website

Hello @Lee222,

You can only answer this for yourself--no need to share with us. But, you saw two therapists--and those two are really where to go to with these kinds of questions/issues. Or, look for a new therapist.
Because getting into, and out of, this type of intensive therapy is not to be taken lightly. This is where trauma and repressed stuff is potentially (hopefully, if it's successful!) surfacing. I'm just saying that it's not surprising to me that the first part causes more stress and anxiety.

Dr. Gabor Maté does have a membership program with a lot of available resources that seems to get at the support you're talking about. It's a paid membership, and the cost comes out to roughly $22/month ($22 in U.S. currency; it's listed as $30 CAD --in Canadian currency on the site).
https://compassionateinquiry.com/ci-connect-membership/ (CI Connect Membership | Compassionate Inquiry®)

For what it's worth, the requirements for therapists to get certified in this type of therapy are up front and transparent. It takes a year of training and a 6-month mentorship program, along with a bunch of other requirements. Just saying--my sense if that Dr. Gabor Maté spent decades developing this type of therapy, brought in colleagues on it, and seems to be showing extra care in how it's delivered to practitioners and us (TMS-ers and anyone dealing with difficult past stuff driving life events in a negative way today). Dr. Gabor Maté is top-notch (in my opinion).

 

[Lee222]

I don't rate him at all, Gabor is a bit of an idiot, if I was in his situation and there was vulnerable people paying £100 an hour to feel worse I'd want to know why

 

[Bonnard]

I don't rate him at all, Gabor is a bit of an idiot, if I was in his situation and there was vulnerable people paying £100 an hour to feel worse I'd want to know why

I wish you well in finding a program that brings you the results you're looking for, and that you need. It's obvious this one isn't it, but I'm sure there's another method or set of tools that will do the trick for ya.
Wishing you the best...

 

[BloodMoon]

I’m not saying this is the case with the OP, but I wanted to speak generally to anyone reading this thread who finds their symptoms increasing when doing mind–body work — this happens to a lot of people! You start a program, feel worse, and either give up or move on, when in fact the program may be doing its ‘job’: uncovering emotions like anxiety, anger, or rage that have been suppressed or repressed.

It can feel like taking the valve off a pressure cooker — a lot of steam (emotions) can come out all at once, leaving you despondent. If you don’t realise or accept this can happen, the anxiety, anger, or other symptoms can ramp up even more and feel overwhelming. What can seem like a huge setback is often actually 'just' part and parcel of the process.

That’s why I believe Dr Sarno’s advice about self-soothing is so important — you release some of that ‘steam’ and make things more bearable. In The MindBody Prescription, he explains that symptoms can arise when the balance between rage and soothing factors tips too far toward rage. Strengthening soothing experiences can reduce the need for symptoms to appear.

For context, my own profound recovery thus far (from being bedridden for over 18 months and housebound for a couple of decades with CFS/ME, fibromyalgia and a myriad of other mind/body symptoms) came from ‘cherry-picking’ techniques from different modalities and moving forward very slowly, in 'baby steps', so I didn’t overwhelm my system. I only spent modestly — on books, and one course (that cost about £200/$265). If Raelan Agle’s YouTube channel (she recovered from 10 years of CFS) had been around when I started, I’d have watched lots of her videos about mind/body issues (not just CFS) and drawn from the success stories and professionals' interviews on there, without paying for any of their courses or coaching.

These TMSWiki forums and their success stories are full of people who’ve also experimented and 'cherry-picked' to find what works for them to save themselves. And there’s a wealth of wisdom and a tremendous amount of support here (on these forums) from those who have recovered — or are well on their way. Over the years, I have come to realise that 'one size doesn't always fit all' with regard to mind/body techniques.

Anyway, this is one of Raelan Agle's videos entitled 'Recovery Themes from 200 Interviews' for anyone who may be interested...

 

[HealingMe]

I’m not saying this is the case with the OP, but I wanted to speak generally to anyone reading this thread who finds their symptoms increasing when doing mind–body work — this happens to a lot of people! You start a program, feel worse, and either give up or move on, when in fact the program may be doing its ‘job’: uncovering emotions like anxiety, anger, or rage that have been suppressed or repressed.

It can feel like taking the valve off a pressure cooker — a lot of steam (emotions) can come out all at once, leaving you despondent. If you don’t realise or accept this can happen, the anxiety, anger, or other symptoms can ramp up even more and feel overwhelming. What can seem like a huge setback is often actually 'just' part and parcel of the process.

That’s why I believe Dr Sarno’s advice about self-soothing is so important — to release some of that ‘steam’ and make things more bearable. In The MindBody Prescription, he explains that symptoms can arise when the balance between rage and soothing factors tips too far toward rage. Strengthening soothing experiences can reduce the need for symptoms to appear.

For context, my own recovery (after being bedridden for over 18 months and housebound for a couple of decades with CFS/ME, fibromyalgia and a myriad of other mind/body symptoms) came from ‘cherry-picking’ techniques from different modalities and moving forward very slowly, in baby steps, so I didn’t overwhelm my system. I only spent modestly — on books and one course (about £200/$265). If Raelan Agle’s YouTube channel (she recovered from 10 years of CFS) had been around when I started, I’d have watched lots of her videos about mind/body issues (not just CFS) and drawn from the success stories and professionals' interviews on there, without paying for any of their courses or coaching.

These TMSWiki forums and their success stories are full of people who’ve also experimented and 'cherry-picked' to find what works for them to save themselves. And there’s a wealth of wisdom and a tremendous amount of support here (on these forums) from those who have recovered — or are well on their way. (Over the years, I have come to realise that 'one size doesn't always fit all' with regard to mind/body techniques.)

Anyway, this is one of Raelan Agle's videos entitled 'Recovery Themes from 200 Interviews' for anyone who may be interested...

Well said, @BloodMoon.

 

[Lee222]

I disagree, it bring

I’m not saying this is the case with the OP, but I wanted to speak generally to anyone reading this thread who finds their symptoms increasing when doing mind–body work — this happens to a lot of people! You start a program, feel worse, and either give up or move on, when in fact the program may be doing its ‘job’: uncovering emotions like anxiety, anger, or rage that have been suppressed or repressed.

It can feel like taking the valve off a pressure cooker — a lot of steam (emotions) can come out all at once, leaving you despondent. If you don’t realise or accept this can happen, the anxiety, anger, or other symptoms can ramp up even more and feel overwhelming. What can seem like a huge setback is often actually 'just' part and parcel of the process.

That’s why I believe Dr Sarno’s advice about self-soothing is so important — you release some of that ‘steam’ and make things more bearable. In The MindBody Prescription, he explains that symptoms can arise when the balance between rage and soothing factors tips too far toward rage. Strengthening soothing experiences can reduce the need for symptoms to appear.

For context, my own profound recovery thus far (from being bedridden for over 18 months and housebound for a couple of decades with CFS/ME, fibromyalgia and a myriad of other mind/body symptoms) came from ‘cherry-picking’ techniques from different modalities and moving forward very slowly, in 'baby steps', so I didn’t overwhelm my system. I only spent modestly — on books, and one course (that cost about £200/$265). If Raelan Agle’s YouTube channel (she recovered from 10 years of CFS) had been around when I started, I’d have watched lots of her videos about mind/body issues (not just CFS) and drawn from the success stories and professionals' interviews on there, without paying for any of their courses or coaching.

These TMSWiki forums and their success stories are full of people who’ve also experimented and 'cherry-picked' to find what works for them to save themselves. And there’s a wealth of wisdom and a tremendous amount of support here (on these forums) from those who have recovered — or are well on their way. Over the years, I have come to realise that 'one size doesn't always fit all' with regard to mind/body techniques.

Anyway, this is one of Raelan Agle's videos entitled 'Recovery Themes from 200 Interviews' for anyone who may be interested...

I disagree, it brings up a lot of emotions, but years later the emotions are still there, it brings them up well but that's not a good thing to do unless they release and there's no guarantee that'll happen

Its more unhealthy to connect and feel emotions than suppress them if the emotions don't release

 

[Rusty Red]

I disagree, it bring



I disagree, it brings up a lot of emotions, but years later the emotions are still there, it brings them up well but that's not a good thing to do unless they release and there's no guarantee that'll happen

Its more unhealthy to connect and feel emotions than suppress them if the emotions don't release

What do you consider to be the difference between feeling and releasing? Isn't feeling an emotion releasing it, allowing it to occur, vs repressing it?

 

[Lee222]

What do you consider to be the difference between feeling and releasing? Isn't feeling an emotion releasing it, allowing it to occur, vs repressing it?

I'm not 100 % sure

For me, if I feel an emotion, I'm still feeling it years later, I assumed it would pass through me or release in some way

 

[HealingMe]

I'm not 100 % sure

For me, if I feel an emotion, I'm still feeling it years later, I assumed it would pass through me or release in some way

Maybe it’s less about it not passing, and more that there’s still something there that hasn’t fully moved through yet. Sometimes fear or resistance can keep it feeling present.