Hi I have been so back and forth since the big onset of this pelvic pain this spring. Though struggled years back but had recovery for 7 years. This time is kicking my butt. After much stress in 2015 this came one, but then just kinda got better in 2016. Then major pain return in spring 2018 after simple UTI. That is fully cleared now. Only " diagnosis" I get is tight ab muscles pulling on my hip causing misalignment causing pelvic floor pain. I was feeling so much better last week. Tried sexual activity on the weekend which is a trigger and fear for me. Though only sometimes. And big flare up 2 days later. Though rarely pain during activity. What does that indicate? Now All summer- some good days, then bad, then better, and back and forth. Everytime im having a few alcoholic drinks, I am almost 100% pain free. I don't drink often, but everytime I have, pain goes away. What does that mean? I can feel so OK one day, and a collapsed mess a few days later wanting to just die from the severe pain. For days. Having so many times of improvement through my life of various pelvic pain should give me all the inspiration I need to kick this time to the curb. But it's sticking around for some reason. Someone help me understand. I am trying so hard to just live life and not give it focus, done Alan's program, drove myself crazy trying to journal and find repressed emotions. I can not afford private therapy, so not looking at that option. My stress is less than it was, I have a good life now again if it wasn't for the pain. I can't stop fearing pelvic pain. I had IC years many years ago after a UTI. But recovered fully a few years later. Never had another UTI since until this spring. So it did bring back a lot of dark memories of that time. And I think that's why I'm so scared of the pain now. I just need somebody to tell me how to make myself think right and gain my confidence in trusting my body to heal again. This isn't even a complicated thing to heal. Thank you for any hope or advise. Oh and this weeks flare up compared to others, the pain is moving locations and sensations more than ever. Some even new sensations of pain all throughout the pelvic floor. I really pissed things off to create intense pain afterwards by pushing on and trying to work out this tight muscle trigger point on Monday. Now if I hardly even touch where it hurts the most, I just make it way worse. What's up with that too?