Fear

F

Filipe2025

Peer Supporter
Hi,

As you might know, I'm battling a strange feeling on my throat that seems like I have something stuck on my throat for three months. Still didn't figure it out what it is, although I have hashimoto, and many people complains about the same.

I've through a lot of stress due to this and fear. Unfortunately I'm having full body pain again. I feel my body burning. I cannot relax, nor sleep. Even with pills. I don't wanna daycare you guys, but that's what happens when you are stupid, and let anxiety take over. Everyone warned me here, but I think that chronic pain was a think of the past.

I always had this deep fear inside me. I can feel it releasing stress hormones on my body nonstop.

It was always like this with me. There were times when I could even slept with the lights off.

When I was ok from my pain, I start doing stuff to overcome fear as deeper level. I try affirmations, but besides being good, I remember being worse, and worse. I try John Murphy books, John keohoe, Joe s dispenza, everything, but the more I try the more the fear takes over me. I have to give up, because I was almost having a relapse. The more I think or talk about fear, the fear I get.

I try Joseph Murphy, I try Joe dispenza, but it only leads me to more fear, more anxiety. It's like my body is a total different part of me.

So, I ask, how do you overcome this beast? Is it even possible? Why do some people accomplished to do it, and have succes with affirmations. I'm not talking about conscious fear. I cannot help anyone in a stressful situation or I will worst than that person.

Now evertime I try to sleep, and I reach my subconscious, level, I feel the fear. I feel it releasing cortisol. It is there like a scared animal.

I am a fearful person since I was a boy.

Unfortunately I couldn't never manage to increased my fear nor stress thresholds. I break easily with pressure.

Today I even broke up with my girlfriend due to pressure. Unfortunately my body is always letting me down.

When the body says no, says Dr mate. I feel my body is always saying no to me. Always failing me.

Last year I was super depressed because I didn't have a girlfriend. This year I had a girlfriend, but I couldn't handle the pressure.

When my mother was pregnant of me, she had a traumatizing stressfull experience, a kind of kidnap, by some People. For three months. Could this be the link?

Thanks
 
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You should start facing the fears in your life. Any fears you can think of. Retrain the way your brain reacts to fear. Watch videos about neuroscience explaining how fear can increase symptoms so you know this is what must be done. That'll give you more motivation.
 
JohnDellatto said:
You should start facing the fears in your life. Any fears you can think of. Retrain the way your brain reacts to fear. Watch videos about neuroscience explaining how fear can increase symptoms so you know this is what must be done. That'll give you more motivation.
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Changing my fears is changing my personality. I really admired those who say they got stronger with meditation. Affirmations, scared me. I had a flare up of my pain once, when I try to meditate, saying things to make me stronger. The only way I can face this deep rooted fear in my case is to entertain the beast inside me, but when it's difficult to entertain it, it turns against me with pain.
 
JohnDellatto said:
Personality changes is what it takes sometimes. Not going to change if you're the same.
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After this relapse, I lost my faith in my body. I know all the theory, I know that ultimately, you just have to shift your attention, but I'm bored of what used to distract me and to give me pleasure. I remember having relapses, without knowing why. There is a latent fear inside me, that I cannot control. Sometimes I think my fears starts with smells, ambients, similar patterns. I really don't know how people can get rid of fear. I remember reading sarno and he said that childhood traumas never goes away.

My problem now, is that even when I manage to relax from pain, I feel this odd sensation on my throat, which unfortunately it is not TMS, because it doesn't change, and my fear kicks in. I thought maybe the symptom imperactive would make it goes away, but it didn't.
 
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Rusty Red said:
This is not a sign that it's not TMS. Many people with TMS have constant pain until they don't.
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Ok, but usually, when the symptom imperactive kicks in, certain symptoms stop, and this one is always present. It is so sad. I was so happy when I found about TMS, I thought I would never get sick again. Now I lost all my confidence. If this is human nature, I don't wanna be human anymore.

I know why my thyroid inflamed. I thought I could be stronger than I really am.
 
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Filipe2025 said:
After this relapse, I lost my faith in my body. I know all the theory, I know that ultimately, you just have to shift your attention, but I'm bored of what used to distract me and to give me pleasure. I remember having relapses, without knowing why. There is a latent fear inside me, that I cannot control. Sometimes I think my fears starts with smells, ambients, similar patterns. I really don't know how people can get rid of fear. I remember reading sarno and he said that childhood traumas never goes away.

My problem now, is that even when I manage to relax from pain, I feel this odd sensation on my throat, which unfortunately it is not TMS, because it doesn't change, and my fear kicks in. I thought maybe the symptom imperactive would make it goes away, but it didn't.
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Face your conscious fears you know you have. The ones that are simple. If you feel fear smelling certain things then smell them a lot. You can't believe that no one on earth has ever gotten over a fear?
 
Joulegirl said:
This is your inner dialogue that may be getting you down too. Would you say this to a friend? If not, you don't need to say this about yourself. You are being hard on yourself and that is part of the TMS personality.
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Ok, but I thought I tamed TMS. I thought I would never has a relapse like I'm having now, ever again.

Do you guys think that if you change those personality traits you can be cured from TMS forever?

I was incredibly anxious, looking for what was wrong with my throat. I fall for the trap, and now I'm having TMS pain all over my body. TMS is severe with me. I feel my whole body burning. I overcome it in the last, with a relapse per year. The trick was to shift my attention from it, replace those fear and anxious though for other ones. It shouldn't be like this. Once you Thame the beast it should be easy to do it again, but I'm having difficulty this time.... O thought I discovered a permanent cure.

I wish I could go back time. You should avoid anxiety at all costs, even if you discover that you have a cancer.

I'm so tiered of this.

Ps: those TMS personality traits, is totally me, special the last one, dependant, hostil, love self stem. Changing that in me, is very difficult. I don't have a therapist.

Do you guys think if one changes those TMS personality traits he will be cured forever?
 
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Filipe2025 said:
Do you guys think if one changes those TMS personality traits he will be cured forever?
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NO! There is no such thing as as a "cure" for TMS, because it's a primitive survival mechanism that is built into our brains. We can only learn to manage it. We talk about our setbacks all the time.

Nicole Sachs is particularly good about explaining this. Life is HARD and it is full of emotional pain, stress, and loss. We have to learn to accept this, and figure out how to live our best lives anyway.
 
JanAtheCPA said:
NO! There is no such thing as as a "cure" for TMS, because it's a primitive survival mechanism that is built into our brains. We can only learn to manage it. We talk about our setbacks all the time.

Nicole Sachs is particularly good about explaining this. Life is HARD and it is full of emotional pain, stress, and loss. We have to learn to accept this, and figure out how to live our best lives anyway.
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But there are people with no relapses, or aren't?
 
Filipe2025 said:
Once you Thame the beast it should be easy to do it again, but I'm having difficulty this time...
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it seems like most people have to work harder each round of TMS, if they never really got to the bottom of some of their issues. The big three areas that you have to tackle are:
  • Your past
  • Your present circumstances
  • Your personality traits
I believe you can make headway in all three areas, and you can have smaller and smaller TMS attacks in the future. But yes, you always have to keep your anxiety down because that can overtake you with fear and fear is like pouring gasoline on the TMS fire.
 
Diana-M said:
it seems like most people have to work harder each round of TMS, if they never really got to the bottom of some of their issues. The big three areas that you have to tackle are:
  • Your past
  • Your present circumstances
  • Your personality traits
I believe you can make headway in all three areas, and you can have smaller and smaller TMS attacks in the future. But yes, you always have to keep your anxiety down because that can overtake you with fear and fear is like pouring gasoline on the TMS fire.
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I think it is harder because, now you know that it is your mind. Now you know the mind is your enemy, do you get afraid of your mind, and what it can do to you. The first time I got better just by knowing, the second I had to shift my attention, now I don't know, because with life little things can really grab your attention l. I feel I'm stucked. Maybe my age. I'm 52. Am I to old to overcome TMS again?

One thing, why for some of us, meditating, doing positive affirmations, makes you worse? I try to change my character in the past, doing meditations, affirmations, but it scared me a lot. I end in pain, so I have to stop.
 
Filipe2025 said:
Now you know the mind is your enemy
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This might be your hang up where you are getting stuck. Your mind is not your enemy. It is your friend protecting you from repressed emotions. It's throwing out pain because we repressed them at some point and your pain is protecting you from feeling them.
It definitely feels like your mind could be your enemy when you are in pain. But it is really using the primitive part that hasn't been evolved to our times. I don't know what you are doing for your TMS work, but self compassion meditation or books might be helpful for you. It's definitely helped me!
 
Filipe2025 said:
Am I to old to overcome TMS again?
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I don’t think so. I’m 66–and I’m determined to get my life back. One thing I tell myself a lot is: I’ve gotten rid of TMS about 5 times before. I’ve never failed in getting rid of it. So that’s a perfect statistical record. I’ll do it again. But this time, I’ve had to do a lot more study— of my past, my life and my traits. This time has been harder. But my nervous system is shot. All the work I’ve been doing has been an overhaul of my life. It’s been a deep cleansing. I think the risk when you’re older is that you think all is lost and if you think that you’re not going to do the work to get better. You get what you picture. So, believe! Say to yourself, “I’ll never quit until I get better”: and you will.

Filipe2025 said:
Now you know the mind is your enemy, do you get afraid of your mind, and what it can do to you.
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Your mind isn’t your enemy. it’s actually trying to keep you safe. it’s just confused. You have to teach it.
 
But I already talk to my brain, saying that I understand that he is in fear, and anxious. I said to my brain that everything is ok. I understood and tell him that it feels guilty for falling in this anxiety trap, of trying to find why my throat hurt in the first place. But it is relentless. He doesn't give me s moment without pain. I cannot sleep. I feel it inundating my body with stress hormones. I feel the fear. Did I scare my body to the point that is going to take time for it not to feel fear? On the other hand, I feel stucked because Im borred with life, angry with me for being do weak. I loose all my confidence in me. I thought I would never have health problems again, and here I am

All the projects that put my hands on fail, because I cannot stand the pressure

Why saying positive affirmations have a negative impact in me? They scared me instead of helping me. I saw myself as crazy... As if I was loosing it.

Do they work for others?
 
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Filipe2025 said:
But there are people with no relapses, or aren't?
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Everyone has relapses. Most people have learned in their first recovery to not worry about them. Most are short-lived. If the relapse continues, they go back to the "work" (journal, meditate, consider life changes).

Sometimes, there's nothing we can do because the stress and fear is coming from outside sources over which we have no control, such as the world-wide pandemic in 2020. Therapists agree that there was a significant increase in emotional distress and mental dysfunction in 2020, which continues today, as other world events and conditions seem to be affecting the human need for safety and certainty. If you're feeling unsafe and uncertain, don't forget to look into how current events are affecting you. I've been in a mild relapse for all of 2025.

Getting older doesn't help, because that provides its own source of existential fear about survival. Nothing we can do about that except FACE it and ACCEPT it. Acknowledging that we are afraid of getting old and dying is vital to stop repressing the fear.

The key to keeping symptoms under control is to realize that our brain doesn't understand the modern world. When we hear something stressful on the news, it thinks we are about to be eaten by a saber-tooth tiger, so it gives us symptoms to get us to go back and hide in our cave until the danger passes.

Except that in today's world, the bad news never passes by, it keeps coming.

It's up to us to educate our primitive brains that there's no physical threat "out there".

Then we have to be willing to go out and live our safe lives without giving in to non-existent irrational fear. Most of us are fortunate to be safe enough to actually do this.
 
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