Fear as a symptom of TMS

Pingman said:
I guess is short, it really sucks. I would love to have a mother who shows me love and advice when I need some. It would be nice to have someone like my wife, dad, brother, friends just sit down with me and really express a deep interest in my feelings and pain. It makes me wonder what is wrong with me at times, externally it appears that everyone else has this support system in place.

Maybe that is misguided, my inability to have self compassion for myself and recognize others are in pain as well.

This seems really far fetched but maybe my fear from my feat and the fear of being paralyzed relates back to my past/current feelings of feeling alone? Maybe I am in a fight to get better so quick because I fear if I don't I am going to be left behind and alone in my wheel chair or at home while everyone else goes to enjoy the things I love like hiking, beach etc....

I know my family, if I were ever paralyzed or had issues walking they would say, "we have to live our lives, you understand don't you?" I would be forced to put on the tough face.

I feel like I am all over the place with my thoughts. I do know I have to get back to some mindfulness and get out of the future.
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I feel exactly the same dude...if I'm not wracking myself with guilt and regrets over the past I am tearing myself up with worries and anxiety over the future. I'm everywhere but the here and now. My wife is the polar opposite of me in that she really just lives in the present, it drives me mad at times as it just seems to be like a head in the sand way of living but on the opposite side of the coin she is far happier then me on a day to day basis. We are off on holiday in a couple of weeks on a cruise and she is constantly talking about that and getting excited about it whilst I am just mopping and moaning about my back, foot and lately my stomach as this is all encompassing for me. I think I just get annoyed (and probably jealous) that she is able to enjoy life whilst I just get so wrapped up in self absorption and symptoms.
 
My wife is the same as yours. She is capable of living life daily even with her issues. She has fairly bad ringing in her ear, terrible plantar foot pain along with migraines. She never lets any of those get her down.

She was however raised by a two parent household and extended family who always did things together and still are there for each other today.
 
Hi Huckleberry,

This sounds so familiar to me. Only its reversed i am the woman : The worrier..the complainer : The pain suferer.And my husband is the other way around. Very good at living in the moment and just taking life as it comes. Your holidaytrip is working like ours : He's looking forward to it with a lot of enthousiasm: While i worry.
Nowadays i blame that on my footpain: Will we be able to get there...etc etc..but to Be true: Before i had the pain : I was worrying too about al sorts of stuff (which most of the time never happened) costing me a lot of energy and robbing me of fun! I really get sick of myself on these things.
It's a form of wanting to have some controll and it is really sad.
Also what you said Pingman i can relate : When he does has health issues: He is so much 'better' at it. The fearing and the stressing what i do makes matters so much worse. But could one really change that ?? Is it a habbit or a personality trait..can we fight that?it is like the optimist VS the pessimist.

Karina
 
Katrina - I think you can change. I go through these periods post TMS when I have healed where I just back to that person I was before my first TMS episode took place. I simply allow myself to fall back into a rut though and stop taking care of myself and allow the stress and troubles of everyday life pile on and on like I did before until I am physically and mentally unhealthy again. The worrying and everything else that follows begins.
 
Hi pingman,

I am afraid i don't get exact what you mean.
Could be my english! Do you mean you do things different now: Or do you mean you let yourself to go with the fear atacks ?

Karina
 
What I am saying is that it is possible for someone to change to the more positive person they want to be. That is actually what has helped me get out of my past TMS issues. I became positive, healthy, energized, motivated, faithful. I emerged from my past TMS episodes a changed person.

I allowed the stresses of life to wear me down because I failed to remember how important it is to care for myself and take care of myself each time. Thats when TMS creeps back in for me.
 
I like what you're saying Pingman. I was realizing today that I always want "the answer" or to be secure in the future and know what that will look like.

It is interesting to watch others that have pain and keep the attitude "Oh, well. Today I have pain." So much healthier than what I do which is volley it in my head: "Will this ever go away?" "Am I doing the right thing?" "What day will it go away?" "Does anyone else feel this way?" "How will I ever function?"

This is why I love what you said, Pingman, that the TMS issues went away with positive, energized and faith-filled thoughts. There has to be something to this, as those with this attitude / outlook seem to suffer less and their pain issues become the past. I, too, got over a past TMS issue by just accepting that it was psychological and paying it less and less attention. And, being occupied in something I liked.
 
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