Evidence sheet

Should share this as a physical win for the day, I guess.
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I know we’ve talked about this before and you’re not ready yet— but you will never be able to get over TMS until you can accept the diagnosis of TMS. That’s Sarno’s number one rule. You have to stop oscillating back and forth. I don’t know what will help you with this. Do you read Sarno regularly —like the MindBody Prescription? You know he had thousands upon thousands of patients. And through all of his many years of experience, he recognized that most structural abnormalities are normal abnormalities. Could you maybe believe him?

As far as your other list—the TMS list— Those are great! They all point to TMS, 100%! The last two items are probably what’s causing you pain. Sarno said when the pain comes —immediately think of what’s going on psychologically. If you haven’t dealt with some of those issues— Or hopefully all of them— They’re probably going to just keep causing you pain. There’s nowhere to hide. It’s TMS. The way out is hard. But at least there’s a way out!
 
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Lord, that image was huge. Sorry about that.

I think that's the biggest thing, is I don't know if I can ever fully not doubt. I'm trying to re-read things and still journal and meditate, just struggling a lot, I guess. Thanks for being supportive!
 
I think where my brain has been landing is I could believe it for my back and neck issues, but with my leg it has been drilled into my head that tendon degeneration causes pain and will eventually tear with continued activity. I can't shake it.
 
Rusty Red said:
Tonight I revisited this topic in my journaling because I've really been struggling. I did both sides of the fence this time. Just wanted to put it in here for future reference too because I destroy journaling but this seemed like it should be documented.
Structural
(Leg) Gets worse at few hours after intense exercise, tendon damage can have delayed pain response
Imaging shows impingement, arthritis, labral tear, hamstring tendinopathy
Speed work and hills in literature as bad for hamstring tendinopathy, increases after those
Sitting, especially on hard surface, makes it worse
(Neck/back) Imaging shows bulging discs in neck and syrinx in mid back
One disc indenting spinal sac
Corresponding pain in shoulder and down arm for discs; shoulder blade and lower ribs around to abdomen for syrinx

TMS
Worse with stress (but even docs agree with this)
Not significantly worse during activity, just after
Normal solutions don't work (pain meds, ice, heat)
No weakness or loss of strength
Increase with partial return to office from WFH, tension with fiance
Doctors say safe to keep exercising with back (with leg ortho said if it hurts don't do it)
Possible conditioned response to intense exercise
Less pain with good mood, enjoyment
Other common TMS symptoms (reflux flares, eczema, IBS, anxiety)
"Tattooed" history (sexual abuse in a relationship, gun violence in my first marriage, cancer, bad period with my son's behavior)
Mom lives with me (for free), very judgemental and nagging
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That's a very good evidence list. Keep referring back to it and modifying/updating.
 
I had my follow up MRI today to monitor the syrinx. I haven't been in the best place mentally so I'm not overly optimistic but we'll see.
 
They caught some of my cervical too. I know we say not to think too much about imaging and bulging discs, but I just cannot help but freak when I see that stupid disc pressing on my spinal area.
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Have you listened to The Cure from Chronic Pain by Nicole Sachs? Her MRI imaging was a mess. And she was diagnosed with something that was going to limit her life. (I don't remember what it was, but it scared her.) Anyways, it might be encouraging to hear her story. Her spinal condition wasn't causing the pain. We have normal wear and tear on our spines as we age. I wasn't diagnosed with anything-all my labs/reports/imaging had come back normal! So I can't imagine the hurdle it would be to try to think outside of a diagnosis that a conventional dr gave you.
 
Joulegirl said:
Have you listened to The Cure from Chronic Pain by Nicole Sachs? Her MRI imaging was a mess. And she was diagnosed with something that was going to limit her life. (I don't remember what it was, but it scared her.) Anyways, it might be encouraging to hear her story. Her spinal condition wasn't causing the pain. We have normal wear and tear on our spines as we age. I wasn't diagnosed with anything-all my labs/reports/imaging had come back normal! So I can't imagine the hurdle it would be to try to think outside of a diagnosis that a conventional dr gave you.
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Yes, I'm actually doing her work through JournalSpeak. It's just been drilled into my head so much that these things are dangerous and can cause serious problems that I'm having trouble shaking it.
 
Ok good! She is so helpful. So honestly, this advice was from another thread but it helped me put it into perspective. Here is the link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/my-tms-brain-tried-to-scare-me%E2%80%94but-i-would-have-no-part-of-it.29647/#post-157424 (My TMS brain tried to scare me—but I would have no part of it!)

@Ellen had some great advice on that thread that I've been link. "I guess this is another one of my "Damn it! Just let go of that shit!" posts" I honestly have been using this line for myself. I'm the same way where I ruminate and I don't even know I am doing it! I've been just telling myself to let it go and move on. It's not easy at all but it's the only way through TMS for all of us. I'm sorry you are struggling right now. It's so tough.
 
@Rusty Red
Rusty,
I think being part of the TMS revolution is counter culture. It’s also frontrunning. You are choosing to believe the mind body evidence over medical evidence. It kind of comes down to that. You place your bets on this (Sarno’s theories) being a winning horse. (I believe it is.)

When I was 35, I was going through a battery of tests for tingling on the bottom of my right foot. An MRI revealed a disc was squeezing on my spinal column. A neurosurgeon wanted to operate. I asked him if it would fix my tingling on my foot. He said, “no,” but I needed the surgery or I could maybe end up paralyzed. I said, “no thanks.” That was 30 years ago. The tingling was TMS, but I didn’t know it at the time. I did not become paralyzed.

Sarno says stenosis (thinning of the spinal column) is a normal abnormality, and nothing to worry about. He says herniated discs are benign. (Read Sarno’s Healing Back Pain.)

If you wanted, you could just trust you’re ok and move forward with the emotional issues that are most likely causing your symptoms:
1. Your past
2. Your personality traits
3. Your present circumstances

This is where you need to look. This is where your problem lies. The rest is just a smokescreen.
 
Rusty Red said:
They caught some of my cervical too. I know we say not to think too much about imaging and bulging discs, but I just cannot help but freak when I see that stupid disc pressing on my spinal area.
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MRI/Xray imaging can be some of the most disastrous things for our own visualizations. I know this from experience. Good luck to you. Remember what Sarno said about normal abnormalities.
 
@Diana-M the structural explains the symptoms, so I guess I am stuck on the medical. I have someone in my house who is pushing me that there is no way I should keep exercising. I'm terrified at this point and can't shake it.
 
Rusty Red said:
@Diana-M the structural explains the symptoms, so I guess I am stuck on the medical. I have someone in my house who is pushing me that there is no way I should keep exercising. I'm terrified at this point and can't shake it.
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So sorry! I don’t know any other advice to give. No exercise will kill someone like you, I think. Fear is hard to defy. It takes a lot of courage. I think it’s at the bottom of all TMS healing. Sometimes it takes a while for the path to become clear.
 
I think part of it is I see a lot of talk about herniated discs don't cause pain but I never really see that said if the disc is actually indenting the spinal sac. Seems like that would be different.
 
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