You don’t have to know 100% to do the work. Only when you get better will you truly believe.I don't know if I can ever fully not doubt
I think the only thing I didn't really follow with him was wanting to ignore the why, i.e. who cares why you are repressing. I started with Nicole Sachs so I was focusing on the why.
Tonight I revisited this topic in my journaling because I've really been struggling. I did both sides of the fence this time. Just wanted to put it in here for future reference too because I destroy journaling but this seemed like it should be documented.
Structural
(Leg) Gets worse at few hours after intense exercise, tendon damage can have delayed pain response
Imaging shows impingement, arthritis, labral tear, hamstring tendinopathy
Speed work and hills in literature as bad for hamstring tendinopathy, increases after those
Sitting, especially on hard surface, makes it worse
(Neck/back) Imaging shows bulging discs in neck and syrinx in mid back
One disc indenting spinal sac
Corresponding pain in shoulder and down arm for discs; shoulder blade and lower ribs around to abdomen for syrinx
TMS
Worse with stress (but even docs agree with this)
Not significantly worse during activity, just after
Normal solutions don't work (pain meds, ice, heat)
No weakness or loss of strength
Increase with partial return to office from WFH, tension with fiance
Doctors say safe to keep exercising with back (with leg ortho said if it hurts don't do it)
Possible conditioned response to intense exercise
Less pain with good mood, enjoyment
Other common TMS symptoms (reflux flares, eczema, IBS, anxiety)
"Tattooed" history (sexual abuse in a relationship, gun violence in my first marriage, cancer, bad period with my son's behavior)
Mom lives with me (for free), very judgemental and nagging
Yes, I'm actually doing her work through JournalSpeak. It's just been drilled into my head so much that these things are dangerous and can cause serious problems that I'm having trouble shaking it.Have you listened to The Cure from Chronic Pain by Nicole Sachs? Her MRI imaging was a mess. And she was diagnosed with something that was going to limit her life. (I don't remember what it was, but it scared her.) Anyways, it might be encouraging to hear her story. Her spinal condition wasn't causing the pain. We have normal wear and tear on our spines as we age. I wasn't diagnosed with anything-all my labs/reports/imaging had come back normal! So I can't imagine the hurdle it would be to try to think outside of a diagnosis that a conventional dr gave you.
They caught some of my cervical too. I know we say not to think too much about imaging and bulging discs, but I just cannot help but freak when I see that stupid disc pressing on my spinal area.
So sorry! I don’t know any other advice to give. No exercise will kill someone like you, I think. Fear is hard to defy. It takes a lot of courage. I think it’s at the bottom of all TMS healing. Sometimes it takes a while for the path to become clear.@Diana-M the structural explains the symptoms, so I guess I am stuck on the medical. I have someone in my house who is pushing me that there is no way I should keep exercising. I'm terrified at this point and can't shake it.