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Emotions are confusing

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by gx92, Mar 20, 2024.

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  1. gx92

    gx92 Peer Supporter

    Why is this emotional stuff so confusing ? Am i the only one ? I am always reading that we have to feel all our emotions like sadness anxiety etc. I am anxious when i am going to socially crowded environment for example, but thats an unhealthy emotion which i should get therapy for so i should Not feel it?!.... Then i get realy fearful over this whole emotional healing, finding myself, understanding every emotional Situation correctly, im so scared of Not doing it correctly, so there is fear but an unhealthy fear? Fear of my Body sensations when i am working Out, fear of Not eating high quality food, fear of existance, finances. They are all fearful emotions but i should Not feel them ? I am in a constant state of tention because i am overthinking this whole emotional stuff, every Situation i am analyzing for example: i have to Clean my room" does this now make me angry because i have to do it but u dont want to "?. "I am Feeling rejected from this Person cause she didnt pay Attention to me" , so i should feel it and notice it but in the Same time i should overcome my fear of rejection.....ah i am sorry i realy cant explain it what i am meaning.....Its Just confusing because there are emotions i have to feel and at the Same time there are toxic emotions because my perception and thinking of situations is an unhealthy one.. i Hope you Guys get what i mean :(

    Edit: i See that there is a Lot of anxiety, anxious thought, worries. So my brain does Not feel Safe. These are all fearful thoughts which create anxiety, so i have to not buy into These thoughts yea? After i read it , this came to my mind
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2024
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  2. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

    It sounds like you are stuck in the trying to think emotions, and putting stories on them mode.
    Feeling an emotion is simply tuning into your body as the sensation of emotion flows through. It can be subtle, like a slight tickle in the throat when sad or stronger when your stomach clenches from fear.
    Don’t overthink it. If it happens it does. If it doesn’t yet, maybe it will at some point.
    It sounds like you are still in a very hyper aroused state. Mind swirling, analyzing everything.. and searching for the “fix” . I bet you mind is convinced that if you just feel some emotions, you’ll be “well”.
    You might want to focus on reducing the nervous system load and lay off of focusing on emotions. Deal with the anxiety instead, because the anxiety is simply a defense mechanism to distract you (similar in function to the physical pain).
    Get used to sensing the anxiety in the body without running away with it in the mind. Loose the fear of the anxiety.. gain the ability to notice and drop the analyzing and the living in your story. Claire Weekes outlines how to do this in Hope And Help For Your Nerves.
     
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  3. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Also, I think you're confusing emotions and symptoms.

    Anxiety and fear are not emotions! They are symptoms, as you accurately recognize, of how you don't feel safe. In fact, they are shallow responses, which fool you into thinking you're feeling something significant. You are not!

    How is it that you feel so unsafe?

    This is the question that you need to answer, when you really make a commitment to start over and do the SEP. Hint: the answer is farther in the past than your brain wants you to go.

    Keep this question in mind when you start writing about the topics on your lists. Be aware, at all times, that your fearful brain will try to coerce you into ignoring certain ideas that come into your head. It's not going to be easy, but you must force yourself to write those down while assuring your brain that it will be okay.
     
  4. gx92

    gx92 Peer Supporter

    Yea i realy need to calm down. I Just feel so badly unsafe after these horrible Symptoms started. They took my Life more or less. I want it to Go away soooo badly, thats why im trying so damn hard. I want my life back and so on. But i think everyone in this forum had the Same thoughts . In my mind i have to understand it perfectly and do it all correctly.... The thing is, i was 6 weeks in a psychosomatic Hospital in my country until Last week. I had the hope to release and uncover some dark repressed emotions, traumas.....but nothing came Up, im so depressed and lost hope now....i See some psychological problems and thought patterns for sure where i can work on
     
  5. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    I think you could benefit from the technique Alan Gordon calls Somatic Tracking, part II. Rather than thinking about your fear and anxiety, pay attention to the sensations in your body. Feel them. Describe how it feels in your body without reacting to it or analyzing it. Doing this lowers the fear response. They're just sensations. Notice them, experience them and they dissipate.

    https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/day-10-somatic-tracking-ii-anxiety-strikes-back.16540/ (New Program - Day 10: Somatic Tracking II: Anxiety Strikes Back)
     
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  6. ARCUser831

    ARCUser831 Peer Supporter

    Just wanted to emphasis this point!

    This took me a bit to understand but made such a difference when I did! And I recently posted about how to "get past" the anxiety to actually feel my emotions. It remains a work in progress, but until TMS work, I never really understood this.
     
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  7. gx92

    gx92 Peer Supporter

    I still dont get it, i know fear is a Response to some danger like a tiger or other danger, a Basic human Emotion. If i do understand it correctly, i just treat it all the Same, be it emotions, sensations, Symptoms, noticing any feeling in my Body without reacting to it and letting it go?
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2024
  8. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    I've never been able to figure out the anxiety and fear categorization either. But I think you've got it right that what is important is to just acknowledge them, feel them, and then watch them dissipate. What we resist persists.
     
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  9. gx92

    gx92 Peer Supporter

    Yes indeed :)
     
  10. Booble

    Booble Well known member


    My advice would be to stop thinking about the emotions in the moment and give yourself permission to wait and get it all out in good writing sessions.
    For example, If you have to clean your room and you start to ask yourself the anger questions -- praise yourself that that is a good question and that you will explore that very topic in your writing later that day. Then clean your room. When it comes writing time, start with "Why am I angry about cleaning my room? Did I used to get yelled at for not keeping my room clean? ....." etc.
     
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