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Ease, trust, success, and positive loops

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Andy Bayliss, Nov 6, 2018.

  1. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi All,

    I just got off the the phone with someone who is succeeding in dealing with long-term TMS symptoms --digestive in this case, and I want to put to words some things which are subtle and synergistic in the path to wellness, as we use Dr. Sarno's approach.

    Long-time folks here will probably understand this well, and for newer people, or those whose symptoms have not lessened, I hope to impart a sense of magic and hope, because these are the best words for me to describe this experience.

    Once the process of effectively working with TMS has begun to take hold, there can be a wonderful sense of freedom, safety, and trust. Here are some of the typical experiences as this sense of trust builds over time.

    1) Relief of "core issue" symptoms. I'll include this first, because it is so important in what follows. This imparts a sense of strength, magic, efficacy, success, and self-esteem. Even if our relief is not full relief, but an improvement!

    2) Relief of secondary symptoms. As we focus our efforts on our "core issue" ---our long-term pain or other symptom, other conditions subside and fall away, typically with little or no effort. In my case, my foot pain was the core issue, and the ones which went away, using only the inquiry "is this also TMS?" were whiplash and cat allergies.

    3) When we feel some pain or other symptom ---perhaps new, we're not caught in worry about this new experience. We don't make it into something it is not. In fact we're pretty sure most of the time this is "nothing to worry about." For me I felt the fear of getting into long-term pain from a car wreck or ski accident evaporate. This is a relief to our nervous system.

    4) We notice others around us constantly worrying about their backs, their food, their health, and that, beautifully, this is not us, and this is a huge relief. There can be a deep relaxation, a basic trust in our bodies that we're going to be OK.

    Taken together, these four pieces are basically world-view changing. Magic.

    All these elements lead to and support each other, and I think they are the "de-Tensioning" on some level of our nervous system. This is not the deeper psychological tension which Dr. Sarno wrote about: deep conflicts between what we feel down deep vs the way we think we should feel --or are conscious of. But the deepening cycle of success, trust, ease ---this positive cycle directly address the amped-up nervous system which got us into, and perpetuated TMS symptoms to begin with.

    This amped-up experience is made of repeating loops of fear, anxiety, pain, distrust, catastrophising, attempts to fix, self-blame, self-doubt, etc. The antidote to this kind of tension may well be the sense of trust, ease, and "all will be well" in successful TMS work which takes us from high tension toward ease. These loops are positive and life-giving, expansive. Some of this ease is very subtle, and at the same time works very deeply.

    Psychological inquiry is probably very important in this process because we realize we're still OK when we consciously feel deep sadness, anger or fear. We learn to trust and love our deeper conditions just as they are. This gives us ease, and freedom.

    I wanted to point to this de-escalation as something common, beautiful, and basic to the approach we're working with here. This movement can happen very early in the process, and is a powerful fuel for the process. Positive self-talk, connecting with community, a moment of no symptoms, self-intimacy and discovery, reading success stories ----all these elements, and many more help us begin to take the journey back down the tension path, toward ease, trust, success.

    I wish all here at the TMS Forum a successful journey, and for those of us blessed with success, may we taste the ease I describe deeply, knowing that it is real.

    Andy B
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2018
    Free of Fear, TrustIt, plum and 8 others like this.
  2. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi All,

    I am commenting on my own post, because I want to share that I have been under a lot of stress lately, and have started getting some short dizzy spells. I can feel the dizziness is related to self-pressuring or anxiety thoughts, and I pretty much immediately knew this was a new (to me) TMS equivalent symptom. It also helps to read this post which includes documentation of some dizziness being psychogenic.

    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/psycho-physiological-dizziness-syndrome-ppds.4599/page-3#post-101272 (Psycho-Physiological Dizziness Syndrome (PPDS))

    So I am not worrying about this, or scheduling a doctor's appointment. In fact I am seeing this symptom as a reminder that I am pushing myself too hard and am not attuning to my self. A helpful gauge of what's going on inside.

    This is the gift which just keeps giving from doing TMS work: We learn through experience that this is less about fixing symptoms and more about understanding symptoms, and letting them resolve on their own through this understanding. We understand more and more about the miracle that we are as self-healers. Keep the faith!

    Andy B
     
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  3. Snowman

    Snowman Peer Supporter

    I'm having the dizzy spells and not feeling of what's going on around myself atm. But I have read that it can be withdrawl symptoms of me coming of dulaxatine which I've been on for my calf pain burning feeling. I decided to come off it had a Neuro visit last week. Private. And he said it may be fibromyalgia but still scared of MS etc brain mri was clear.
     
  4. donavanf

    donavanf Well known member

    Oh man, this is GOLD. I see myself in every word. "This amped-up experience is made of repeating loops of fear, anxiety, pain, distrust, catastrophising, attempts to fix, self-blame, self-doubt, etc. The antidote to this kind of tension may well be the sense of trust, ease, and "all will be well" in successful TMS work which takes us from high tension toward ease."

    I can tick ALL those boxes. Fear. Anxiety. Pain. Distrust. Catastrophising. Attempts to fix. Self-blame (DING DING DING), Self-doubt...wow.

    What do you feel is the antidote to these? Wow. This is so powerful.
     
  5. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    My best advice is to allow each of these elements as best you can. It is our reaction to these elements which perpetuate them.
    Andy B
     
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  6. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    @Andy Bayliss

    I’m grateful you linked to this gem of a post because I missed it first time round (I think I was on hiatus), and because it perfectly articulates the beauty and yes, the magic, of the upward spiral.

    My niece often uses the expression ‘spiralling’ to denote the wretched downward trajectory and I suspect it is generally used in this context but your post reminds us that we can catch the upward cycle and be lifted out of despair. I see this as a part of healing but as you so rightly point out this is not the same as resolving deep inner conflicts. In my experience I needed the relief of tension before I could truly embrace the psychological root. I’m sure your words will help others clarify these things.

    Beautiful post my dear.

    plum x
     
  7. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    I’d like to add this excerpt from an amazing thread penned by @Forest. I think it’s really important to people who are struggling to learn that there is not a bewildering nest of contradictory advice but rather that there are various methods to:

    1. Calm yourself down/Self-Soothe/Desensitise/Counter Hyper-Arousal.

    There are many methods to do this which include body scan, mindfulness, meditation, yoga (restorative and yin especially), Qigung, Tai Chi and such. I’d also include gentle exercise, sleep and rest here.

    2. Once calm, you are better able to look at and address the psychological and emotional issues with a clear head and from a healthier perspective. Again there are various methods available including journaling, EFT/Tapping, therapy of all kinds.

    Here’s the quote from Forest about one of Sarno’s most trusted psychologists, Dr. Anderson, who recognised that the Freudian model of repression didn’t work for everyone

    “Basically, she taught the patient how to self-soothe, to cool herself down. At the beginning of the session she had the patient slow down and de-rev by just taking a brief moment to decompress and settle in. Just a simple body-scan meditation, for example, is all it takes. But that moment of relaxation was enough to deactivate the stress response, which allows her to be more present in the session and just be in a better state. In some sense, by calming the stress response, it calms the mind.

    Dr. Anderson spoke of how, if someone is in a state of hyper-arousal, they really can't make use of what you have to say. I've seen this many time on the forums and chat room, and that's why when I see someone in the drop in chat who seems unable to make use of what we have to say, I suggest that they work with a professional, who, if they are lucky, will teach them skills of self regulation (unfortunately, I'm not convinced that all professionals are very good, but I don't have data and that is another question).

    Later in the interview, Dr. Anderson is describes how after Dr. Anderson has intervened a number of times, the patient has learned to self-monitor, so that the patient can identify on her own when she is becoming activated (i.e. aroused; I use the terms interchangeably) and then take steps to cool herself down. This is crucial because then the patient can essentially act as her own therapist and can independently manage her level of activation. This is ability is known as "self-regulation" because it means that she can regulate her own level of arousal.”

    Full thread can be found here:

    https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/self-monitoring.2123/ (Self Monitoring)


    It’s a long thread but really worth taking the time to read if stuck in the either/or mire of confusion.

    The truth is all the healing methods discussed on this site work because they address the two points given above. The physical~emotional, the mind~body are one and the same.

    Read the post, there are many great links to other resources to help this sink in.

    Hope this helps someone out there.


    Plum x
     
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  8. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Plum,

    Thanks for this addition to my post. I am working again with a Somatic Experiencing mentor who mentioned this exact process, and the importance of it. Much like Forest describes, we can't actually let in new information, guidance or healing if we're amped up. This de-arousal needs to come first, and that clients can learn it.

    I also connect this with Alan Gordon's brilliant explanation that (paraphrased) "to feel fear is to feel safe" ---that this activation, amping up is adaptive to many of us as children because we're "ready to act, we're vigilant." This hyper-vigilant state keeps us "safe."

    Best to You Plum!
     

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