Do I have TMS? Please help

Hello all,
I have read Dr Sarnos books and have been lurking on this forum for a week. I believe I have TMS but I have been trying to figure out if I trully do.
My backstory:
First off I've been to multiple Drs and had CT scan and ultrasounds. Everything came back normal.
In September of 2014 I had double hernia surgery. My wife and I were trying to conceive. I didn't want to have kids and it was a very contentious thing between us but I have the best wife and said I'd do it.During that time we had intercourses many times. Sometimes I couldn't finish. One time I felt a pain in my testicle and a few days later thehernia appeared. I had the surgery and everything went well. BTW she got pregnant but had a miscarriage soon there after.
In mid January while having intercourse and trying again for a baby I didn't finish. I was still having thoughts of not wanting a child. Right afterwards I got pain in my right testicle. I also have pain right above the testiclenext to the penis. The pain also radiates down my right inner thigh and under the testicles.
I thought it was just a coincidence. After couple weeks still in pain I went to see my surgeon. He checked and said no hernia. The pain kept getting worse. I then went to urologist. He checked everything and did pain shots. No relief. Then I went to pain specialist. They did multiple injections. It actually got worse.
I tried everything. Last week while searching for help I came across Dr Sarno and testicle pain. I remembered buying his book two years ago. I still had it in my kindle unread. I started reading it.
Two years ago I had really bad neck and back pain. I went to Drs chiropractors and even had multiple injections and nothing cured it. I thought it came on from working out. I finnaly saw a roffling expert and the pain went away. But then my shoulder starting to really hurt. I bring this because I believe it was actually my first bout with TMS.
So I started to read Dr Sarnos book last Saturday. I felt better in Sunday I actually went to the pool and swaw and worked out. Still in pain but very manageable. I worked out the last three days in the pool and was doing ok. Still pain but much less. Last night we had intercourse and the pain came back strong today ( in the past after ejaculation the pain has always been really bad)
My questions are.
1. Does this sound like TMS?
2. The Drs believe it's the ilioinguinal nerve coming from T1. Is that normal for TMS.
3. I've been doing the 12 steps. My question is when I talk to my subconscious should it be out load or just in my head.
4. I have a really hard time not thinking about the pain. Any tricks?
5. Could not wanting a child be the emotion that is causing all this anger?
I'm sorry for such a long rant but it's been 7 months of hell.

 

I think you know one answer to your pain...not wanting a child, but wanting to please your wife. That is a conflict in you, and causing considerable unconscious rage. You need your pain as you fear the truth behind the pain. Perhaps you can talk things over with your wife. You sound like a very caring husband, but your body is trying to tell you something. It is OK to have your own opinions. If you have fears from the past, maybe they need sharing with your wife. Hope you can talk, and listen to each other.

 

Thanks for your reply. We've had discussions in the past. I had major surgery at the age of five. It's been a driving force if all my fears since a young age. I spent about thirty minutes this morning in bed trying to find what emotions are driving this. I came up with fear. It's all over my life. I constantly fear everything. For awhile I feared not being able to pick up or play with my kid. I fear financial heartache. I litter,y have fear everywhere. I fear not curing my pain.
I've read Dr Sarnos books. I'm having a hard time trying to get my mind away from the pain.
Are there any tricks or advice to help?

 

For many mindful meditation can be the missing the link.
http://tmswiki.org/forum/threads/mindfulness-may-be-missing-link-to-your-recovery.8857/

For some after reading Sarno's book, Presence process has been helpful.

Living in present moment and breathing for 15 mins twice can help strengthen the Brain and hence the pain my disappear.

 

@IndiMarshall :I just watched. Very interesting. Thanks so much.
Do you a site you recommend for other mindfulness videos?

 

No I dont know... Mindfulness doesnt come easy. its very hard to concentrate. Just start with this. Buy a presence process book.

If you are struggling to concentrate on your breathing and living in present moment it means you are not connected to yourself spiritually.

That might be the key..

Good Luck..

 

So you had surgery at 5 years old, which has been a driving force of fear since then. Can you reframe that memory and make it different, since you are now an adult? You can retrain your brain. You survived, and are married, that is good. Finding things to be thankful for, and thinking about them will help you. It is not easy, it requires persistence, but you will calm down.

 

1. That's really for you to decide. But it certainly sounds like it could be TMS. The fact that you've had some relief already is a strong indicator of that.
2. I'm not qualified to even venture a guess. But I've had many well-meaning doctors tell me things that were wrong and it turned out to be TMS.
3. You can say it in your head or out-loud. Either way works!
4. Hmm. Big topic and not much time. Whenever I felt pain, I would immediately focus my thoughts on my emotions and ignore the pain as best I could. Keep doing that over and over and it becomes a habit.
5. Certainly possible. Everyone has socially unacceptable thoughts and emotions and we need to allow them to come and go without passing judgement on ourselves.

I think you are on the right track!! Best of luck... I promise, it really works!

 

Hi, alanmia. I especially like Zumbafan's reply. It's simple and right-on.
Think about how fortunate you are despite pain.

I find it very important to live in the present, not the past. And to do deep breathing often.

There are some great free videos on living in the present and deep breathing in YouTube.

 

See below

 

Update:
After realizing that I had TMS I did the workshop and within a couple months the pain was gone. It’s now years later and I’m pain free in the groin area. I’m still battling TMS episodes. Right now I’m dealing with a rotator cuff and was searching on the site to see what others thought. I wanted to update this for anyone else who’s having groin pin. Best of luck!

 

Hi alanmia,

I am happy about your successful TMS work! We don't often get someone coming back after several years with an update. I'm glad you took the time.

I want to suggest that you make an --even short-- post with your success dealing with groin area pain at the Success Stories Forum section. Then please search and add some "tags," which will add to the search function for your story, so that others may benefit. Many have asked for success with testicular pain, so your story is important!

If you want feedback on the rotator cuff specifically and you don't get much action with this post, I suggest you create another post with that symptom as the title.

Ciao,

Andy B

 

So, did you end up having a baby?