Did the pandemic cause your TMS?

[Diana-M]

Hi everyone,

Did anyone have an excessive amount of anxiety during the pandemic that could possibly have caused PTSD? Do you think it has caused any lingering rage that could be contributing to your TMS symptoms?

The reason I ask is I’m starting to realize that might be the case for me. All during the pandemic I was in a heightened state of panic— much more than many of the people I know. I didn’t even know the term “health anxiety” at the time, but now I have learned about it, and I’m certain I have it. My panic was through the roof.

My imagination is so vivid. I pictured dying alone in a hospital bed with a tube down my throat. To make matters worse, I link doctors with sexual abuse in my psyche, so that was a real nightmare. (In psychotherapy for this now.) My current TMS attack (the worst I’ve had yet) was born during the pandemic.

Then, this past December, I actually got COVID for the first time. And surprise surprise, along with it, I got new TMS symptoms. I went from mildly disabled to much more disabled. I was sick for months. Normally, I don’t even catch colds. So I’m not the type to always get sick.

My husband has had a sniffle the past couple days. (He has health anxiety too. We are quite the neurotic pair.) So, he took a COVID test this morning for the heck of it and it came out positive. When he told me the results, I felt this severe wave of panic go through me. I haven’t felt that much panic for a long time. And then, my body did it’s TMS cramping thing. It tries to keep me from moving. Literally.

That’s when it hit me, I’m possibly in some kind of PTSD from the pandemic. My TMS brain doesn’t want me to leave the house. Still!

Dan Buglio (the TMS counselor) is big on TMS being caused mostly by perceived danger. To heal, you have to teach your mind that you are safe, he says. The pandemic was such a huge life threatening perceived danger for me—and I think for most of us. But health anxiety people suffered more, I think. Maybe I’m just not over it yet?!!!

Without a doubt, there was plenty of rage generated during the pandemic for me. I still have it. I missed my youngest son’s wedding and missed holding another son’s newborn baby. I missed holidays with my family, to name a few.

Meanwhile, I had other relatives, like my sister, who totally disregarded the pandemic and flew all over kingdom come and had her kids over constantly then called to tell me about it—knowing how heartbroken I was missing my kids. I had friends who bragged about how they went places, sort of taunting me, the health anxiety soul. (But I felt I was being responsible!)

I also had a doctor who wouldn’t renew a prescription unless I got blood work. So I went to get it, and it was one of my first times out of the house. I was stone cold terrified. I literally never left the house. After the blood work, some of my more recent symptoms began. Numb feet, tingling legs, stiff knees.

There is more. More rage and more symptoms linked to the pandemic era. (Don’t even get me started on politics and social media!) I have not nearly addressed this enough. One of my emotionally numb problems is if I get past a hard thing, I don’t look back. And most of my life has been really hard. It’s no wonder my well of rage hath overflowed.

Thanks for listening. I can’t believe the lightbulb is just now going off on this. If I had had a daily journaling ritual during all of this pandemic era, maybe I could have prevented some of this. All I can do now is make a list of everything I can think of that enraged me and get cracking on it with journalspeak. And also soothe my mind to the fact the danger has passed.

Have any of you experienced symptoms you can directly link to the pandemic? Have you been able to get past it?

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Well, I was born with TMS, and I turned 69 in 2020, so no, the pandemic did not cause my TMS. It did, however, indirectly contribute to me contracting full-blown RA nine years "After Sarno". The result of two volunteer jobs which were dysfunctionally impacted by the pandemic on top of the world-wide existential mental health breakdown which resulted from the pandemic, which was on top of several years of growing distress over the state of the world (which of course has only become worse even as the pandemic has receded).

I'm sorry to hear you might be exposed a second time. Please try not to assume the worst. I've never had COVID, but friends have, and they fully recovered within the expected period of time, including my phenomenal downstairs neighbor who I think was 89 the summer she got it (she's now 91 and still going strong - literally - she has spent the last several days baking 300 Greek cookies for the wedding of one of her grandkids or maybe great-nieces, I can't keep track).

I only have one individual in my personal circle with so-called Long Covid, and that's a neighbor, younger than me, who recently announced she has it, but I had already pegged her as a full-time TMSer a long time ago, so this doesn't surprise me. I feel sorry for her and I feel like we have a lot in common and that I would enjoy spending time with her IF she wasn't such an energy sinkhole (well, and also such an anal-retentive control freak)(sigh). I once sent her some TMS info that she was open to receiving, but she has a somewhat deranged spouse with long-time PTSD who claims to hear or see crimes being commited at our condo in the middle of the night that no one can corroborate, and I don't see much opportuntity for her to dig herself out of that particular hole.

But, as I often do, I digress! Diana - you know the drill by now. Expect the worst, and you might get it, especially where health anxiety is a significant contributor to your lack of well-being. Visualize the best-case scenario, and allow the power of self-healing to take charge.

When I was a lot younger I thought I had health anxiety, but looking back I don't think that was true at all, I just had anxiety (exercise anxiety was one of my things) and I have actually been pretty good at quickly calming myself down and taking proactive measures in any health related situation. I think my parents must have instilled that skill in me very early on. This may be a significant reason why I was able to adopt TMS recovery methods so quickly back in 2011, because I already believed in self-healing.

One of my long-time self-healing measures is employing placebos, and I started doing this long "before Sarno". There's no way to prove the effectiveness of a placebo for a negative outcome, but I started a routine after our teen foster daughter brought home a stomach virus (years ago, before 2000) right before the April 15 tax deadline, which almost became a disaster when I got sick on the 14th (I was saved by a wonderful colleague at my office who helped me over the phone, preparing and mailing a big stack of extension applications for my clients the evening of the 15th). I vowed that I would never again be caught unawares. From then until my retirement a few years ago I took echinacea and extra vitamin C for two weeks before the deadline, and in spite of the intense stress of March and April every year, I never got sick again. Like I said, though - negative proof is no proof. Still, I also do this anytime I am aware of illness going around or possibly being exposed to a virus, and also before important travel. I also increase my water intake, especially hot drinks, and pay attention to eating well and avoiding sugar (now proven to negatively exacerbate the inflammatory response).

I strongly believe in the power of the placebo even if vitamin C has been debunked as being effective. I believe (as is now being shown in many research studies on the topic) that the placebo provides a tool by which the brian's healing mechanism will boost the immune system in advance of exposure.

Ultimately, in order for this protocol to be effective, I MUST go into it with an assumption that I don't need to get sick. I went into the pandemic with the same assumption. I continued to shop, using reasonable precautions (wearing a homemade mask and carrying sanitizer a couple of weeks before everyone was doing it) and I continued to meet my personal trainer outside (6 feet apart at a park with a picnic shelter for the inevitable rain), continued my weekly walks with a friend (masked) and, all summer long, gathered outside, 6 feet apart, with like-minded neighbors. No one I know got sick, not until 2022 when we were well-vaxed and a little too relaxed (but the vaccines did their job and infections at their worst were like a bad, but not dangerous, flu). I still try to remember to wear my mask when I shop (especially at stores that I know are crowded) particularly after a friend got Covid last year, five days after being coughed on by a guy at Trader Joe's who wasn't covering his mouth. I did get a cold (two negative tests) late this winter. First one since 2019! And not the worst I've ever had in my life, either - the congestion never reached Afrin-level and I wasn't sick enough to stay in bed even on the worst day.

Sheesh - I can go on. I don't know if there's anything useful in there for you or anyone else, but it's all part of one person's story, which includes a fair amount of success. And which, like all stories, does not follow any kind of a straight path! I'll say one thing for sure, in answer to your intial question/thread title: the pandemic surely threw us all for a loop, and it surely had a significant and long-lasting, if not permanent, effect on our mental well-being. How we choose to work with that understanding is the key to managing our mental well-being. Choose to "wear it lightly" as Nicole Sachs says.

All I can do now is make a list of everything I can think of that enraged me and get cracking on it with journalspeak. And also soothe my mind to the fact the danger has passed.

This is hugely insightful and proactive, Diana! Keep chipping away at it. I think you're doing great, and even though this might indeed be a setback, I want to see you back on the path ASAP! Sending positive and healing thoughts your way, my dear.

XO,
~Jan

 

[Diana-M]

Jan, thank you for the nice long reply! I loved hearing the little vignettes from your life. I really like the placebo idea. I have often “forbidden” myself to catch someone’s cold, and not gotten it. I’m doing that now! So far, so good! I wrote today for an hour about everything that made me angry during the pandemic. While I did so, my legs started hurting worse and twitching (something they do when I’m extra upset). I figured I’m really onto something! I will continue to journal this all into the ground. There’s a LOT for anybody to be angry about from during that time. On so many levels. It sounds like you kept yourself in a fairly good lifestyle — not isolating. That’s great! Thanks, as always, for your encouragement! I’m not going to quit!

 

[waruwarui]

Yes! You are not alone. Ever since the pandemic started, I started having POTS like symptoms (never diagnosed but doctors assumed). I started college when the pandemic started so I will also add that into there which created my perfect storm. I would feel like fainting whenever I would get out of the house to buy things I very much needed. "What if I get sick, what if this and that?"

I was ok for about 2 and a half years until this past January where a lot of COVID related traumatic started hitting me. It reminded me of that helpless place I was in during the beginning of the pandemic. So yes and yes to the internal rage that manifests itself time and time again into TMS.

 

[Sita]

No. I was only worried for a couple of hours, that was it. Since I could not live in fear I decided then to just continue having a normal life and if I die, that's OK. It was a very liberating thought. Plus I believe in reincarnation so in my mind there is no death. That's a joke. Sort of...

2020 was a great year for me and for my husband, we were not expecting this of course but it's true. I lost weight, I continued to exercise daily (walking in the forest very early in the morning) concentrating on having a very healthy diet. Also using supplements. We improved our immunity starting with the year 2017-2018 when we started to take NMN (improves mitochondrial metabolism) and other things. It was perfect timing for Corona, I didn't even know that a pandemic would come in 2020.

I got the virus twice - in April 2020 the first time and then again in 2022. And my husband got it twice as well. For him it was like a mild flue both times. For me it was not bad one time but quite bad the next time. I was sick for about a week, I also had a fever.

I was never afraid when I was sick. I'm into daily meditation, I'm a Yogi. I've been one since 1993. I use mantras and positive affirmations all the time. Not only during meditation but during the day, I repeat them mentally often. It's very helpful for the mind to feel secure.

 

[anacoluthon33]

Yes, things got severe for me in June 2020.

Congratulations to those who found themselves, or worked to be, relatively unaffected by that time (the hangover after-effects of which are still, in many areas, among us).

I could write a book, however, on how that time forward not only hit but overloaded to breaking points all the major theories of how TMS works.

• Precarity of jobs, relationships, plans? General anxiety (see Buglio on safety)?Check.
• Isolation/digitalization of relationships (See Steve O on “trachordification”)? Check.
• An enormous machinery of novel and bureaucratized rules, re-programming a world populace who both do and do not comply (recipe for rage, Sarno’s big discovery)? Check.
• An enormous glut of media coverage—a blanket of white noise that alarms and exaggerates as much as it informs (see Alan Gordon on fear)? Check.

I could go on but I won’t. This entire era is a perfect storm for TMS. Note that I am not including fear of the virus itself, though nothing’s stopping you from doing that, too.

Anyhow—if anything about the BS of that time pissed you off—rest assured you’re not alone. The wisdom lies in processing it…

 

[Diana-M]

Yes! You are not alone. Ever since the pandemic started, I started having POTS like symptoms (never diagnosed but doctors assumed). I started college when the pandemic started so I will also add that into there which created my perfect storm. I would feel like fainting whenever I would get out of the house to buy things I very much needed. "What if I get sick, what if this and that?"

I was ok for about 2 and a half years until this past January where a lot of COVID related traumatic started hitting me. It reminded me of that helpless place I was in during the beginning of the pandemic. So yes and yes to the internal rage that manifests itself time and time again into TMS.

@waruwarui,
That’s terrible! I’m sorry this is happening to you. This proves my point that some of us really need to be healed of this pandemic trauma. And we need to get this COVID rage out.

 

[Diana-M]

No. I was only worried for a couple of hours, that was it. Since I could not live in fear I decided then to just continue having a normal life and if I die, that's OK. It was a very liberating thought. Plus I believe in reincarnation so in my mind there is no death. That's a joke. Sort of...

2020 was a great year for me and for my husband, we were not expecting this of course but it's true. I lost weight, I continued to exercise daily (walking in the forest very early in the morning) concentrating on having a very healthy diet. Also using supplements. We improved our immunity starting with the year 2017-2018 when we started to take NMN (improves mitochondrial metabolism) and other things. It was perfect timing for Corona, I didn't even know that a pandemic would come in 2020.

I got the virus twice - in April 2020 the first time and then again in 2022. And my husband got it twice as well. For him it was like a mild flue both times. For me it was not bad one time but quite bad the next time. I was sick for about a week, I also had a fever.

I was never afraid when I was sick. I'm into daily meditation, I'm a Yogi. I've been one since 1993. I use mantras and positive affirmations all the time. Not only during meditation but during the day, I repeat them mentally often. It's very helpful for the mind to feel secure.

@Sita
What a wonderful way you handled all of it and what a great way you live your spiritual life. It kept you at peace! I too have a spiritual life based on Christianity, but it didn’t keep me from being afraid. I have since increased my faith. If my faith were stronger, I would have had less fear. But I have a lot of underlying anxiety issues to overcome, so it’s challenging. In the end, I love your attitude and your soothing lifestyle!

 

[Diana-M]

The wisdom lies in processing it…

@anacoluthon33 -
A very wise post, indeed! Yes, we are still in the aftermath. I somehow pictured we were through it, but we aren’t at all. And the task does fall on us to process it!

 

[CaptivaLady]

I was also essentially born with TMS (tummy issues as an infant). However, my big pain that brought me to this “world” happened in 2022. As things began to calm down, my employer wanted us to come back to the office. I asked for an exception and was denied. So I applied for an internal transfer to a division that was more remote-friendly. The day I turned in my notice was the day it began.

I was never scared of Covid, learning early that was in a low risk group. I was, however, deeply enraged by the politics and social consequences. I had a lifetime of very repressed anger and shame. The frustration of the pandemic caused the overflow.

So, yes and no.

 

[Diana-M]

I was, however, deeply enraged by the politics and social consequences. I had a lifetime of very repressed anger and shame. The frustration of the pandemic caused the overflow.

@CaptivaLady,
I’m hear your about the overflow! It’s hard to predict when it will all be too much. But it seems a lot of people were tipped over the edge because of the pandemic or circumstances surrounding it (aka the social issues). I hope you are able to heal or have healed already from your most recent attack.

 

[CaptivaLady]

@CaptivaLady,
I’m hear your about the overflow! It’s hard to predict when it will all be too much. But it seems a lot of people were tipped over the edge because of the pandemic or circumstances surrounding it (aka the social issues). I hope you are able to heal or have healed already from your most recent attack.

Good morning! Yes, I am now free from chronic pain. I began my journey out in late August of 2022 via Dr. Charlie Johnson, this site and the Curable app.

I do think the circumstances surrounding the pandemic were novel and extreme; certainly enough to tip people over into chronic TMS.