Desperate due to chronic/disabling anal pain!

Holy cow you have met your partner! Your story matches mine and we had the same surgery. I’m going to keep this simple. I’ve been through 2 year of Anal pain from hell!!!!!! I’ve been to 12 drs who say they are experts in the anal area. I’ve been on so much meds it’s not even funny! I couldn’t sit, walk, run... you name it I was in so much pain. I’ve been around the world trying to find answers until I ran across Steve Ozanich. He saved my life. I read his book all 3 of them and I spoke to him for 3 hours. You are fine in the anal. I repeat nothing is wrong with you. You have seen every colon dr out there and they said you are fine. My anal muscle are tight as well. I finally said screw it I have TMS. I have problems in my life to work through. I started working out in pain. I started siting in pain. I just told my find I don’t give a crap watch your doing to me I’m living my life. When you walk and do anything in life I know that you think of your anal pain and wait for it to flare up. You need your pain and that is your problem. You need to stay present and enjoy life. Pills are a bandaid. I promise I was on all of it. I still have flare ups and I just continue on with my life and it fades away. I’ll have 3 good days and then a minor set back. I’m still working on TMS. The big picture is this... there is no Guide to heal!!!! Steve won’t tell you to wake up and do this and that. He just tells you to be present and enjoy life. Your pain will fade. I promise. I was just like you in horrible anal pain for 2 years. The more you search for answer the more your brain has you nailed down. Stop searching for answers and enjoy life. Your body is already healed. Read Steve Ozanich books.

 

Hello again,
You are welcome. Happy Easter as we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. Bryce has started to get some pain back. It's been almost 1 month since his last ketamine treatment.
Yes the ketamine doc recommended at least 3-4 treatments and others recommend 5-10 depending on severity with boosters along the way. Yes the prices are all over the board. The one Bryce went to was $800 per 4 hr infusion. He got 1 mg/kg per hour, so it was 380 mg ketamine, 1 mg Adivan, 40 mg magnesium, 250 mg propofol, .1 mg clonidine all with the 4 hr infusion. He was going to keep getting more but our local one shut down due to virus.
There's another one in clevland Ohio about 4 hours from us that is $800 also and others I called were $1600+. Hopefully he can get an appt this week in clevland. He was doing so well.
As far as the internal hemmroids they were very small. The doc really didn't think they needed treated. It is called infared the doc just uses a heat light and shrinks them. It was more Bryce's thoughts of what was causing him the pain than the docs.
Yes the ketamine doc prescribed the clonidine and the oral ketamine. The clonidine I researched and then the doc researched and found the same trials and thought it might be beneficial. I think it has been. It's constipating so after you take it 3 weeks it slows your digestion down. But he takes a small amount of miralax, magnesium, hydro c & ageless gi recovery (type in gutsense store), olive oil, fish oil, Metamucil, colosan. These all help keep BM soft and the hydro c makes it easy to pass.
I'll try those things you mentioned and see if they help Bryce. Thank you.
Also Dr wise has a 6 day immersion clinic in CA somewhere. It might be worth it since you live out there to attend one. I talked to a few people on forums that did that and through Gods healing were better and slowly get off meds. If Bryce is ever able to travel further again I think it would be worth it for him to atrend as well. They show you how to do trigger point release and relaxation. The book is very informative too.
Praying for you and pray for us! God Bless, Sara

 

Hello I'm sorry for any confusion but I copied and pasted this from another forum I wrote on that I joined 6 months ago and just copied and pasted. Im sorry for that. What party drug are you referring to? My husband is only on prescription meds. Message me anytime.
Sara

 

This community is for healing using the mind body approach of Dr. Sarno. It's a psychological approach to psychogenic pain. While you may be well intended, it's inappropriate for this forum. I had 5 long ketamine infusions myself for CRPS and I can say unequivocally that it is not the solution. It's a disassociative drug. I'm glad your husband is doing better but I can assure you it's from his belief system not the drugs. You are not addressing the root cause and therefore symptoms will most likely continue or crop up in other places. You can't fix a psychological problem with physical treatments. Your posts detailing his drug regimen don't belong here.

 

Thank you I didn't realize this about this site. Just trying to help. I'm not sure what the long term answer is, but at this point living day to day. And he was in so much pain that even with our beliefs he was suicidal. Just wanted to get out of pain and after the 1st ketamine treatment he was out of pain for the 1st time in 6 months. That in itself is worth it to just share with people until they find their answer they can at least keep someone from committing suicide. We were both so desperate and so grateful for some relief. He wants to go see Dr Wise in California state but he still has trouble traveling far at this point. I'll look into that doc you referred to also. He can at least sometimes sit and sometimes drive compared to laying down 12 to 24 hrs a day in pain. He's had a flair up and his hope is dwindling again. If the ketamine can bounce him back for now until we find a permanent answer then that's better than him not being here or being in pain. Hope you understand that these are suicide pain syndromes and just trying to help others. God Bless.

 

Yes I do understand. CRPS is called "the suicide disease" for that reason. It has an extremely. high rate of suicide and I prayed for death myself. I highly suggest you read "The Mind Body Prescription" by Dr. John Sarno. It changed my life. All chronic pain stems from the brain, no matter the body part. You will never find the answers from pills or the medical industry I'm afraid because it's truly a psychological problem. I went down every rabbit hole under the sun and I'm here to tell you there is a way to overcome any chronic pain syndrome. I also recommend you explore this site because it's a treasure trove of information. Good luck!

 

@brycesara, I echo @miffybunny 100%. Dr. Sarno's theories about the mindbody connection have been the basis of recovery for the members of this forum. Good luck.

 

Hello, i have been struggling with anal pain for about 6 months now. One doctor suggested anal fisure. I wonder if you ever found a way to improve your condition?

 

Hello Hopeful818,

My story is almost identical to yours. I developed an anal fissure over 3 years ago during my pregnancy. At the time, I thought it was hemorrhoids and was told they would go away after I have the baby. Fast forward to after giving birth it went away for a bit but then I developed constipation, likely due to me not watching what I eat and not drinking nearly enough water for a breastfeeding mom, and the pain came back. Of course this was when COVID-19 just started so I couldn't see a doctor. Months later I finally started going to doctors who were attempting to treat the "hemorrhoids" with all forms of hydrocortisone which of course wasn't helping. Eventually I was referred to a colorectal surgeon and was diagnosed with the anal fissure, in addition to the hemorrhoids. She also applied something in the office that may be silver nitrate (not 100% sure) and sent me home with a diltiazem ointment prescription. I felt better almost immediately and pain was fully gone in less than 2 weeks. On my follow up, she said everything is almost fully healed and told me to stop the Miralax that I was taking for the constipation. Within days the constipation came back and the fissure reopened. I went back to her and she did the silver nitrate and told me to keep using the diltiazem. This time it wasn't working. Eventually she brought up the sphincterotomy after months of suffering but I was hesitant due to the risks. I asked about botox and she said it's better to combine it with a fissurectomy. So I decided to give it a try as there was "no risk" involved based on what she told me. After about 9 weeks post-op she told me everything is 100% healed but I was still having pain, now it was constant deep throbbing ache like you described. She diagnosed me with levator ani and told me to try pelvic floor physical therapy. Again she approved of me going off the Miralax (which I had restarted after the fissure recurred), and again I developed constipation right after (even though I weaned gradually this time) and reopened the fissure. I still tried the PT, which did nothing. I asked her to run more tests so she sent me for MRI, manometry, defecography, sitz marker study, nothing unusual was found. Because my anal tone was not high, she agreed that sphincterotomy can be avoided and suggested repeating the fissurectomy with botox and an advancement flap this time. Eventually I couldn't bear the pain anymore and agreed to the 2nd surgery. The flap retracted and it did not heal despite me now having my constipation under control. I then started seeing other surgeons some of which said it's muscle spasm that's causing the pain and the fissure is healed, others saying I have to get the sphincterotomy to heal the fissure. Eventually I tried PT again, had trigger point injections, tried oral medications, tried more topical creams like nitroglycerin and nifedipine, nothing worked. One doctor told me in addition to the fissure I now also have an internal ulcer caused by the 2nd surgery. He urged me to get the sphincterotomy (which I did end up getting) but when the ulcer didn't heal after he said I need another flap surgery to close the ulcer. He also had me undergo a colonoscopy, which did not show anything unusual. After doing both surgeries I still did not gain any pain relief - after now having 4 surgeries in the area within a span of 2 years. I have done multiple rounds of botox, PT, acupuncture, seen chiropractors, pelvic floor specialist, pain management doctors who did various injections - nothing helped. I tried all kinds of oral and topical creams and suppositories to no avail. A surgeon I saw recently is now suggesting to extend my sphincterotomy incision (which obviously has a lot of risk) and another surgeon is suggesting to do another flap surgery, but a different type this time, to cover the area of the previous flap surgery that was unable to heal on it's own and essentially left a nonhealing fissure. Obviously I am reluctant as both are essentially repeating what was already done and did not work.

Just recently a doctor suggested I read Dr. Schubiner's book "Unlearn your Pain" which then lead me to explore the TMS realm. I also listened to Dr. Sarno's "Mindbody Prescription" audiobook and Dr. Alan Gordon's "The Way Out" audiobook. The concept resonates strongly with me but I am also somewhat skeptical as fissures and even anal pain are not brought up in any of the books, it seems like a very atypical presentation, especially if the fissure is also the cause of the pain and unresolved. I am trying to stay hopeful and optimistic although it is quite challenging. But, it was intriguing to hear of someone else going through something so similar to me, as I thought I was the only one, and also considering it being TMS. My next step is to try working with a TMS therapist as I feel I need more personal guidance in the area.

My pain is very similar to yours too, it gets worse with sitting and bowel movements and its a constant ache also mixed with some sharpness. It feels like a pressure but also just feels like an open wound that is constantly being scraped.
It is a horrible thing to live with, and I hope that you have managed to gain some relief while on the TMS track.
I would love to hear any updates to your story. This is such a difficult and personal topic to discuss, I feel that no one can understand unless they have been through it. I would love to connect and discuss this more with you if you're open to it.

 

Hi, GainingHope,

the thread is quite old but thank you for refreshing it as it let me come across it yesterday. It was actually quite a shock for me as what you are describing, is EXACTLY the thing that's been bothering me for 3,5 years now. I was never diagnosed with a fissure and got misdiagnosed which put me on the wrong track from the very beginning. (Also, the doctor that misdiagnosed me, is considered the best in his field in my country, so there goes my faith in conventional medicine). My theory is this: I had a fissure at some point, no doctor checked for it, noone suspected this may be the case and in time it healed itself. But I got so worked up over it, stressed so hard (also because the doctor was convinced it's a more serious problem that can't really be treated) that the brain learned that pain, it remembered it and than it started throwing it at me even though there's structurally nothing wrong anymore (I had four different doctors look for the fissure later on - they found nothing). What makes this theory probable, is the fact that initially I had this pain for a few weeks/months and then it went away only to return during a stressful moment in my life, this time to stay.

That said, I don't think it's productive to discuss our problem from the medical point of view. Only yesterday, I read this thread and my pain got way worse immediatelly because I started thinking again that maybe the fissure is still somewhere there and if I visited a fifth, tenth or hundreth doctor, they would finally manage to find it and I don't even know if it's possible after such a long time, and frankly, I don't even want to look it up. I think we should stay on the TMS route and approach the problem as a TMS symptom. That's the only thing that worked for me so far and alleviated the pain to an extent, not greatly but quite clearly.

 

Here is my update everyone.. Im going to keep this simple. I have feel completely pain free for almost 3 years by doing absolutely nothing. The only thing I did was TMS for a few months and that was it. Today I got an email and noticed I have a some new replies on this thread which I completely forgot about so I came on here to see how I can help. I reread my story and the replies and guess what my pain is back for the first time in years. ‍♀️
If that doesn’t tell you something then I don’t know what does. Trust the journey, sending healing vibes!

 

This is awesome! Shout this from the mountain! Folks suffering need to hear recoveries!

 

Thank you Manjuno for sharing! I agree focusing on the medical aspects do not have a good presence in TMS work, however it's quite difficult to completely tune it out as it is a major part of the journey.
It is very encouraging to hear that other people have similar stories and have had success with the TMS approach. I have come into it thinking I may just be the only one who is going through this particular type of issue. Now I know I am not and that there is hope!
I am now convinced that I am on the right path with the TMS approach.
Sorry for stirring things up for anyone on this thread, that was not my intention at all.

Hopeful818, thank you for updating the thread, it's great to hear that TMS had such a positive impact for you!

 

I had a diagnosed anal fissure. They misdiagnosed mine as haemorrhoids too and gave me suppositories, which as you can imagine, didn't exactly help! The pain finally went away using TMS methods. Either it was one of those classic TMS things where a structural abnormality was present and didn't need to cause pain, or TMS pain persisted long after the fissure healed.

 

Hello!
Same here!! I had an spinchteromy almost 2 years ago .. I have seen 10/12 doctors who told me that I have nothing... al they can see is that they feel a tension around the anus area...I did a LOT of exams .. always the same answer "the is Nothing ...they can't event see a scar ( C02 laser ) ...so ok! ...I'm currently reading the great pain deception ( AMAZING BOOK!) But I don't know WHY. Somehow ..I can't get out of this!.. when I feel a little pain I immediately feel sad, depressed ...even if I know that it's TMS.. it's fucking difficult to stay "calm/happy" when u feel "something" ... now, I can run, sit, do whatever I want ..but I always feel "scared" even when I know that there's no reason to be scared ... as I sais it's complicated.. the Brain plays me everytime!!!... do you have some tips?
Thanks!!!
(Sorry for my English but I'm French haha)

 

I think the key is to accept that the pain is there - don't automatically recognize it as a threat. Stop wishing it would go away. Be indifferent towards its presence. You have it for such a long time and it hasn't killed you yet so it's probably safe to assume it won't. When it comes to pain, be less in your body and more in your mind. Imagine your body as perfectly healthy and the pain as something that is not its integral part.

When you feel sad and depressed, confront these feelings. Don't run away from them. Don't struggle too much. Simply observe. Avoid pressuring yourself to anything.

I'm at a point where I'm more or less able to do all of the above. The pain didn't go down significantly yet but it did subside a little (by 20% maybe). However, this approach seemed to free some reserves in my mind and it's easier now to not notice the pain 24/7.

 

Hey there @jox07 - this is excellent advice from @Manjuno - you might consider printing out his two short paragraphs and posting them where you will see them frequently. Reading and re-reading these things helps to keep the advice in your conscious brain where you can remember it more quickly and put it into action more easily. It takes practice, and it takes time, but it can be done.

Back in February someone advised you to look into our Structured Educational Program - have you been working on that? Steve O is terrific (I think of The Great Pain Deception as the "encyclopedia" of TMS!)(plus he was a very generous contributor of content on the forum a number of years ago) but I'm not sure he really goes into the emotional work in the book, which many, if not most of us, must do to find recovery.

If you have anxiety and depression, those must be addressed. Perhaps your next book might be Hope and Help For Your Nerves, by Claire Weekes. Dr. Weekes was quite a bit older than Dr. Sarno and was on the other side of the world (Australia), so she knew nothing about Dr. Sarno or TMS theory, but she has saved many lives all around the world, from fear, anxiety, and even depression (non-clinical), for many decades. This was my #2 favorite "TMS" book after The Divided Mind (Sarno).

 

Hello to all my newcomers and old pals,

I updated this post about 3 years later just last week. Im sure some of you saw and it gave you hope that through TMS I recovered. Now I need your help because what is happening is almost unbelievable and somewhat ridiculous to say the least. As you read I mentioned years later just rereading my post I felt my pain come back for the first time. Well I thought that was just a few minute thing. I been in pain for a week now!! Please help me, I really need some advise from
anybody who experienced this. The same pain and symptoms are back that I suffered with for years. I was pain free for the past 3 years, how can just reading my post set me back to this nightmare again? Is this even possible? We all know the mind and pain connection but not to this extend. This seems crazy to be back here again. What you guys think?

 

What happened is you got triggered by a memory. Remember, a memory is just a thought so don't be bluffed by it. Don't get tricked! For a moment your brain confused the memory with the present. This is totally normal and actually good practice for you. It's part of the human condition that we can get knocked into "trauma" for a moment. Awareness is everything though! When you recognize the strategy of tms, you disable the mechanism. What happened here is you scared yourself and started overthinking and panicking..."what if...?". The truth is you are in control. Those 3 years of recovery are REAL! They happened lol! You are fine right now but your brain "forgot" so just remind it and laugh at the ridiculousness of it. Fight back at doubt and self doubt that crept in for a minute. Your job is to relax and get out of your own way. This will pass! Think of it as a pebble on the road. "What you are aware of you are in control of, what you are not aware of is in control of you." So now you know what happened... you're fine!