Hi, So I did the Alan Gordon recovery programme over the summer and a few days of the structural education programme, but as my hands got better and I returned to university (after a year out for the pain) my journaling and my TMS work tapered off. I kept up the adjusted attitude, fighting the shoulds and the self criticism for another month or two, but somewhere along the way it creeped back into my attitude and the way I think and react. At the end of the term the pain returned, I recognised it, and have started the programme again, but am still in more pain most days this month than I have been since the summer - I try to think psychological and I know 100% that it stems from my mind, it's just so frustrating to relapse, and I don't know if I'm doing enough to recover this time round. The self crisism has a wonderful way of working itself into everything, including my recovery - "If I know it's just my mind, if I know it's because I'm being critical again, If I know it's because I'm putting too much pressure on myself - if I know all this why haven't I got better yet? What is wrong with me that I slipped so far back and haven't found my way out - how silly!" I can hear it, but it's so difficult to change, to know that what you are doing is right, is enough!