New Program Day 6: The Fear Matrix

[JoanieART]

I have TMS that currently shows up as digestive issues. When it comes to fear, do you try to eat a healthy diet (Paleo, no sugar, etc., etc.), or do you just let go and eat whatever. I also have acne. Do you focus on perfect cleansing routines and acne medicines or just let go and never do those things? I'm having trouble figuring out what is good for healthy living vs. obsessing. Many Websites would have you believe that you MUST follow certain diet and exercise principles in order to be healthy. This usually involves buying a supplement, powder, or cream. I've fallen for a lot of these, I must confess. How does one strike the right balance, especially when you have a fear-based mentality?

A big part of my healing has been just eating foods naturally. No processed, just whole foods (I chose plant based) and there is a sense of Whole Body followed by Whole Mind. I am not pushing this lifestyle, but it has stopped the obsession with food. Completely. It has brought ease into my body. Freedom.

A good prep to take on pain now, both emotional and physical, in my life. Everything in layers.

 

[Tarina]

@Alan Gordon LCSW said ;

Exactly. Either that or they help keep you in a fight/flight/freeze state. If your brain thinks you're in danger, then it actually deems you being in a calm state as a bad thing (for the same reason that a zebra shouldn't be calm if it's surrounded by lions...) By learning to teach your brain that it's safe, it no longer has the need to take you to a fight/flight/freeze state.

This part I don t understand,because if I try to teach myself beeing safe ,for example with artwork I start yawning and relaxing I go into fight and flight later ....so what's the different ,could please someone explain this to me,and what teaching mean .guess i m so startled that everything that calms me down my brain sees as a danger

 

[Andry]

Hi I need some help. This guide is mostly dedicated to pain afaik. I have no pain. I have chronic fatigue and anxiety. I am following this guide simply changing the word "pain" into "fatigue" but I am not sure it will work for me. If you have any ideas what I should do please let me know.

 

[Diana Lynne]

I have TMS that currently shows up as digestive issues. When it comes to fear, do you try to eat a healthy diet (Paleo, no sugar, etc., etc.), or do you just let go and eat whatever. I also have acne. Do you focus on perfect cleansing routines and acne medicines or just let go and never do those things? I'm having trouble figuring out what is good for healthy living vs. obsessing. Many Websites would have you believe that you MUST follow certain diet and exercise principles in order to be healthy. This usually involves buying a supplement, powder, or cream. I've fallen for a lot of these, I must confess. How does one strike the right balance, especially when you have a fear-based mentality?

 

[Diana Lynne]

I would not discount eating good foods and no junky foods. Never. If you knew what a lot of what this foods do vs health organic food, probably why you have digestive issues. Eat well exercise and teach your brain not to fear. Blessings to you

 

[Fabi]

“Do I need to know where the fear came from?” (no.)

Alan, could you say anything more about this or refer me to your other writing? I've been finding trauma therapy deep and fascinating, but it hasn't freed me from pain (besides momentarily)... I don't think it's the intention of the therapist but perhaps my over-focus on healing the past is getting in my way now... then again I'm attached to the idea of healing early trauma... When do you think it's necessary to address the past and when not, such as in widespread chronic pain of fibromyalgia? Thank you!!

How are you doing now? How was the trauma healing work for you?

 

[danielle]

How are you doing now? How was the trauma healing work for you?

Hi Fabi, I took a break from the trauma work for a while. Now I'm revisiting it, but from a different place. Not trying hard to dig into the past, but being present as much as I can and letting stuff come up when it's ready. I think I was digging too hard. I don't remember when I wrote that post, but I've slowly been improving with still plenty to do. What about yourself?

 

[Fabi]

Hi Fabi, I took a break from the trauma work for a while. Now I'm revisiting it, but from a different place. Not trying hard to dig into the past, but being present as much as I can and letting stuff come up when it's ready. I think I was digging too hard. I don't remember when I wrote that post, but I've slowly been improving with still plenty to do. What about yourself?

Thanks for asking!
My therapist gave me a spreadsheet to write things down, and now I see how much my pain is in between what I have to do. Anyway, I try to be gentle to myself but I always have this feeling of despair or helplesness, like things are not changing much, and I need to change how I react. Easier said than done when pain became the center of my life for many years. I have been reading a short book by Joan Garriga Bacardi, in Spanish "¿Dónde están las monedas?". It helped me to understand me more. I am a work in progress!

 

[Diana Lynne]

How are you doing now? How was the trauma healing work for you?

Actually doing better. Thanks. I also started Methylene Blue. The two go together real well.

 

[danielle]

Good to hear, let's keep up the good work.

 

[Fabi]

Actually doing better. Thanks. I also started Methylene Blue. The two go together real well.

I don´t know what or how Methylene blue does to you, never heard of it. Could you explain or enlarge a bit on that? thanks a lot!

 

[Shakti]

It's mind-blowing to read about you all needing to avoid the news in 2019 (which, agreed, was certainly bad enough) while doing this program during the war now in Israel where I live. From the moment the present government was elected in Nov 2022, I gave up news radio, newspaper reports and headlines, never watched tv anyway...And now during this war almost everyone I know or talk to is following news every minute they're awake. I see what it's doing to them in terms of exacerbating fear, and indeed see it's making people more selfish as well. People identify with all the horrors, and make them their own. Thence the fear is not only out of control, but paralyses people from being able to act, to do anything positive to contribute, even while so many here are helping in so many ways, as the government is basically not functional. I am scared enough without the news! My own personal stock of present and historical fears, plus fears of missiles and bombs, death and destruction.
I have yet to get past many of my angers to the fears underneath, but I am working with the program along with journalling, buddhist meditation, and somatic tracking. I will get past them! And very much appreciate the way you all share, it's so helpful and so hopeful.

 

[Lauren T]

It's mind-blowing to read about you all needing to avoid the news in 2019 (which, agreed, was certainly bad enough) while doing this program during the war now in Israel where I live. From the moment the present government was elected in Nov 2022, I gave up news radio, newspaper reports and headlines, never watched tv anyway...And now during this war almost everyone I know or talk to is following news every minute they're awake. I see what it's doing to them in terms of exacerbating fear, and indeed see it's making people more selfish as well. People identify with all the horrors, and make them their own. Thence the fear is not only out of control, but paralyses people from being able to act, to do anything positive to contribute, even while so many here are helping in so many ways, as the government is basically not functional. I am scared enough without the news! My own personal stock of present and historical fears, plus fears of missiles and bombs, death and destruction.
I have yet to get past many of my angers to the fears underneath, but I am working with the program along with journalling, buddhist meditation, and somatic tracking. I will get past them! And very much appreciate the way you all share, it's so helpful and so hopeful.

First, I don’t read the news very much anymore too as you have said, it increases fear and IS NOT HELPFUL and in fact inflames fear.

I also send prayers and blessings to all peace loving humans on your side of the globe! from Texas.

keep doing the work. As long as we’re here we might as well drop the lies and live the truth as we are learning. Dr Sarno is a way shower . He healed me of sciatica just reading his books and this site.

 

[Susan Mary]

I think I'm the fear-habit poster child! This has been going on most of my life.

I've noticed I even build stressors in, e.g., spend too much time at what I'm doing so that there's not enough time to prepare for where I'm going--then I rush around; feel unprepared; and worry about being late, am actually late, or both. Pain=fear=stress. And stress=fear=pain.

I've been working on de-stressing (The Five Resets) and am knocking down my habits gradually and manageably. BREATHE, LESS PHONE TIME, and MODERATE EXERCISE are my current tasks. As well as noticing my fear messages. Today I laughed at equating Will I ever get better? with Did I put the wrong zip code on the gift I just ordered? The answers are Yes and Yes, respectively. Thanks, Alan, and everyone on this forum.

 

[Susan Mary]

Oh, and did the reality show ever get made? I'd love to watch it AND star in it!

 

[ChristopherB]

So much fear. It's a good exercise to look back to try and see what might have made me such an anxious person. I think seeing parents constantly worried about money (and going bankrupt) certainly played a role. Also, trauma from accidents and the sudden death of child just adds to the complexity. Hard to know where to start to try and resolve fear and worry. Perhaps a question for journaling.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hard to know where to start... Perhaps a question for journaling.

I'm not familiar with Alan's program because he developed it for the forum several years after I did the SEP (Structured Educational Program). It's my understanding that the SEP gets more into specific writing exercises, and as I recall, on different days you make different lists about different topics, incidents, relationships, or whatever, to write about.

Here's a link to the writing/journaling guide from the main wiki: How do I journal? - The TMS Wiki
And you can't go wrong by also reading Nicole Sachs' advice about what she calls "JournalSpeak" on her website here: How to JournalSpeak — The Cure for Chronic Pain

When you're making your lists, the most important thing is to write down EVERYTHING that pops into your head no matter how minor or irrelevant it seems to be. Don't let your brain try to convince you that you can skip or avoid a topic or a particular incident. Sometimes it's hard to force yourself to write those things down anyway - those are the ones to mark with a star so that you are sure to come back and write about them in more detail!

In case it isn't mentioned in the instructions, you do NOT have to "keep a journal". In fact, the experts, like Nicole Sachs, advise that you destroy your writing so that you are willing to be more honest about what you write, knowing that no one else will ever see it - including yourself. I call it "writing shit down" and it's so illegible I don't have to worry about destroying it.

Doing this work is about taking risks and allowing yourself to be vulnerable - two of the hardest things for us humans to do when it comes to our emotions. And keep us posted.

 

[Susan Mary]

So much fear. It's a good exercise to look back to try and see what might have made me such an anxious person. I think seeing parents constantly worried about money (and going bankrupt) certainly played a role. Also, trauma from accidents and the sudden death of child just adds to the complexity. Hard to know where to start to try and resolve fear and worry. Perhaps a question for journaling.

All of that is trauma building on trauma. I heard a great definition for trauma: "an unmet need for healing." Certainly journaling will help; I spent a year with a trauma counselor working on my childhood issues. Sadly, just after I finished (and she wasn't covered by my ins, so paid out of pocket), I had the injury, and a traumatic one, that brought on the neuropathy. Alan Gordon's book and this series has been a big help. I've still got some non-neuroplastic pain to heal from, and even so, I'm getting so I can tell the difference between neuroplastic pain and structurally-caused pain (sometimes).

In any case, the loss of a child is a major, major trauma. I wish you the best in marshalling your energies, finding help, and addressing it. My heart goes out to you.

 

[ChristopherB]

All of that is trauma building on trauma. I heard a great definition for trauma: "an unmet need for healing." Certainly journaling will help; I spent a year with a trauma counselor working on my childhood issues. Sadly, just after I finished (and she wasn't covered by my ins, so paid out of pocket), I had the injury, and a traumatic one, that brought on the neuropathy. Alan Gordon's book and this series has been a big help. I've still got some non-neuroplastic pain to heal from, and even so, I'm getting so I can tell the difference between neuroplastic pain and structurally-caused pain (sometimes).

In any case, the loss of a child is a major, major trauma. I wish you the best in marshalling your energies, finding help, and addressing it. My heart goes out to you.

That's a helpful definition of trauma. Thank you Susan. I'm hopeful the daily journaling will help. I've read all the books and done some of the work, but obviously 'some' of the work isn't good enough. Sorry to learn about your injury and good for you in making progress. I'll look at Alan's book again.