Today's question to ponder is: What are the most important relationships in your life? How has this program affected those relationships? My most important relationships are with my husband, mom, and dad. This program has been helpful in that I realize how my tms personality traits: goodist, low self esteem, and anxiety is caused my childhood interactions with my mother and father. My father had rage issues with a lot of name calling and blame of all people in the house (his anger also caused a lot of trouble at work--which he brought home), was anxiety prone with great need of soothing from my mom, myself and my siblings, was a workaholic as a self medicator for his anxiety, so we didn't see him much except for a while on the weekends. I feel that due to these childhood interactions with my dad, I now have some issues with my husband who I feel is at times very critical of me. When he complains about something he doesn't like that I do or say, I get easily triggered into feeling worthless, sad, unloved and undeserving of love. I begin to shut down and create armor around my heart so that he can't keep hurting me. I know that my happiness and feelings of self worth should come from me, but my goodist personality trait is very dependent on what others think of me. I try very hard to fit the mold that the other person expects in order to feel accepted and feel loved. When this doesn't happen I feel horrible and feel very sad and depressed. I almost feel debilitated by the feeling. It ruins my whole day, weekend, or week. I can't sleep at night and I constantly feel anxious about what I can do to get the loving and accepting attention back from whoever I felt rejected by. With my husband, however, I just shut down and want to avoid being near him or even talking to him. This can go on for hours to days. I need to try to stay open even when I feel hurt, but I have a strong feeling to protect my heart from further criticism and pain. This post is already too long, but my mother is very overbearing which has led to other issues that I have. I still have a lot more work to do on evaluating that relationship through my journaling. This program has definitely helped my delve into the pain I feel daily in my heart and occasionally in my stomach from anxiety and sadness. It is hard for me to do it, but I know it is helpful. I feel blessed to be apart of this community and appreciate all the support that I get.