Day 10

[dsihaya]

I am keeping my emotions mostly from my parents. I feel that I should have told them some things years and years ago, but I haven't. Because I was never a fan of confrontation, maybe I was not brave enough or I was sensitive for their feelings. Also I did not see things this clearly when I was younger. Now they are much older, more fragile and now I do not see any good in telling what I think about their characters or sharing my anger about their egoism. They cannot change and I am very uncomfortable thinking of the possible answers, I do not believe that they would understand what I actually mean, instead they might misunderstand and make me feel even more angry or desperate. I think I am better off trying to deal with my feelings on my own.
I have not thought about these things before, I did not think I could write, but I could and it felt good.

 

[ssxl4000]

Indeed, a notebook can be a great fill-in for a real person. It's great to get that stuff out! Sometimes, it's better just to do it in private, as some of our anger/fear is irrational or exaggerated. There's generally no good in throwing that on somebody. And even the stuff you perhaps should talk to someone about, but can't do to the reasons you mentioned, writing it down at least helps. Keep up the good work!