Day 1

0208mad

0208mad

Peer Supporter
Hi I am new to this forum but already feeling that I've finally after two long years have found a way to end my pain.
Ok long story short I have burning pain which started in my back then went on to travel all over my body. It also tingles stings itches aches and causes terrible sensitivity to clothing. I have been medically checked out had an extensive MRI, EMG, Nevre conduction study,blood tests for virtually everything, skin biopsy for Small Fiber Neuropathy, everything clear. I've seen 5 neurologists which all said anxiety and stress nothing neurologically wrong with you. A neuropsychiatrist who said somatic symptoms off underlying stress and anxiety.
So I as you can imagine was very scared for the future.i had no where else to go. What was going to happen to me? How would this end up? So, so scared every single day.
But now after just day one I am feeling I have finally found the answer. You see I have had terrible stress in my life and this caused extreme anxiety so I fit withTMS. I have just watched the video about John Sarnos theory and now I finally understand. what's wrong with. me. I am NOT going to fear my symptoms anymore.
Symptoms as I write are there but you no what I've told them GO TO HELL you are not going to scare me any more. I'll keep posting everyday.
 
Hi Mad,

Welcome to this Forum, and community. I am so happy to read your post. I read that rather than the "stress/anxiety" diagnosis being hopeless because "what can I do about that?" you are understanding the beauty, positivity, and reality of this diagnosis for you. Wonderful!!

Yes, what you have is "workable" and "curable" using Dr. Sarno's approach!!!!

Remember too that the anxiety and stress don't have to be "pushed away or fixed." You simply tie your symptoms to the inevitable human propensities to be in inner conflict and stress. Just that. You focus on the real reason for the pain, and the need for the symptoms stops, because you don't believe they are physical, so there is no distraction benefit for the mindbody.

Wishing you the best. I had several surgeons ready to do nerve surgery, and none of it was needed.

Andy B
 
0208mad said:
I am NOT going to fear my symptoms anymore. Symptoms as I write are there but you no what I've told them GO TO HELL you are not going to scare me any more. I'll keep posting everyday.
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That's the spirit! :punch:
 
Hi, 0208Mad. I agree with Andy and Plum. You have come to the right place to heal, and you already feel better, believing TMS, your emotions, are causing your pain. A stressful life will make us hurt.

I would like to add the importance of breathing in relieving anxiety.

Most Youtube videos tell how to deep breathe but they say inhale through the nose, hold the breath a few seconds, then exhale through the mouth.

Last night I looked at some Youtube videos on breathing and saw some that say that
breathing in or out through the mouth depletes oxygen that we need to go to the brain and other
parts of the body. They say that mouth breathing actually increases stress, anxiety, and
Inhale and exhale through the NOSE only. I've begun doing that and have felt more calm than exhaling through the mouth. You might give it a try.

I can't seem to drag the videos into my email, so I suggest you go to Youtube and look for the video by
Robert Lipman called "The Relationship Between Breathing and Anxiety."

I found journaling for repressed emotions to be the most helpful part of the SEProgram. I discovered I had been repressing some harmful feelings since I was a boy. Discovering them healed me of severe back pain.
 
Day Two, Three, Four and Five.


Hi Thanks for the advice I will certainly look these videos up.
Day Two and Three and Four were great. Symptoms still there but I WAS in control of them. On Day four I went to see my neurologist for a follow up appointment. I had requested a while back a second thigh biopsy just for reassurance. My neurologist said it was completely unnessary and of course he was right it was again clear. BUT he coukdnt believe the change in me. I told him about TMS and he said just keep doing what you are doing. He said applaud yourself you should be really proud. So I left there on a real high.
That was yesterday. But today I just woke feeling down, I felt my symptoms as I woke and instead of doing what I have been doing ignoring them, they managed to really get to me. Of course that was the food that woke them up and they have really responded by stinging burning itching and my skin is so sensitive.
On top of that I have caught my husbands flu virus, so now the symptoms are partying. I feel throughly miserable. I pushed my self to go to the gym and did a two hour work out. My body was screaming NO let me rest but in my quest for slimness I ignored my body and now I feel a awful. I've GOTto learn to slow down. :-( :-(
 
Hi mad,

Don't be discouraged. Write up your successes for those few days, and keep reading them every day. This process takes time!! Your impatience and pushing your body to do more than it is ready for can be seen as a "non-attunement" to yourself, with the expected feelings of the Inner Child. Use your knowledge of your personality (this insight about how you push yourself, for example) to simply name the true source of your symptoms. Without having to fix anything about you. It is a knowledge cure, remember!

Andy B
 
0208mad said:
On top of that I have caught my husbands flu virus, so now the symptoms are partying. I feel throughly miserable. I pushed my self to go to the gym and did a two hour work out. My body was screaming NO let me rest but in my quest for slimness I ignored my body and now I feel a awful. I've GOTto learn to slow down. :-( :-(
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Yes, you need to learn to slow down, chill out, stop pushing your body (especially in any quest for ideals), and rest. When did rest become a proverbial four-letter word?

When your body/nervous system is calm and in balance, you feel fantastic. They say fit is the new slim and I say relaxed is the new fit. I've been as skinny as a bean and am now as plump as an earth-mother, and I feel a million times better in my body now than I did then. I feel grounded and ripe and curvy and happy. And men love it. Body-acceptance is profoundly healing. I could objectively look at myself and easily point out my many socially-prescribed failings or I can cherish my womanliness and sensuality, and bask in the response that creates in the wonderful opposite sex. Sensuality comes naturally to women but we have a brutal tendency to choke it down. When we slow down and swing our hips with a cheeky-soft smile something in the world turns in our favour. Make your body your friend. Treat her well and kindly. Rest when you need to and especially when you are ill. It's ok. No more pushing through. It's time to heal my darling and as @Andy B suggests write about the good days. This helps to shift your focus and to realise that you do have better days, it's not all pain and woe. Journal about good and bad, it'll help you learn more about yourself.

Plum xxx
 
Hi just wanted to quickly add something. When I went to a " pain management " appointment. Whilst in tears at how and what my life had become I was told there by a pschologist that I have to accept that my pain may be there for the rest of my life and it could get worse. Needless to say I left the appointment feeling dreadful. Now I've found TMS I've got real hope that things WILL get better.
 
0208mad said:
Hi just wanted to quickly add something. When I went to a " pain management " appointment. Whilst in tears at how and what my life had become I was told there by a pschologist that I have to accept that my pain may be there for the rest of my life and it could get worse. Needless to say I left the appointment feeling dreadful. Now I've found TMS I've got real hope that things WILL get better.
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Sadly conventional wisdom holds sway in many fields and it leads to countless nocebos. The real shame is that there is a wealth of information out there, and much of it in field-specific journals that these field-specific experts eschew reading. It is vexing but it seems most people don't much care to challenge their belief systems. You'll get better at determining who can truly help you in your healing. Our instincts remain intact though they may need a thorough dusting down.
 
To quote the great Dr. Francis Peabody:

You will find that physicians, by wrong diagnoses and ill considered statements, are responsible for many a wrecked life, and you will discover that it is much easier to make a wrong diagnosis than it is to unmake it.
 
pspa said:
To quote the great Dr. Francis Peabody:

You will find that physicians, by wrong diagnoses and ill considered statements, are responsible for many a wrecked life, and you will discover that it is much easier to make a wrong diagnosis than it is to unmake it.
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Francis Peabody. A legend.
My hubby's neurologist: Francis (true. It is his name). Francis Peabrain. Purveyor of Nocebos and bullshit.

Yes, Francis Peabrain wrecked our lives but we rebuilt goddamit. We rebuilt them and while it may appear a tad shabby to the eyes, to the heart it is glorious.
 
Day 6. Struggling

I have to be honest I am really struggling. The pain is very strong. Of course it does not help that I have a nasty virus as well.
I have been trying to say to my symptoms get lost you are not going to bother me. But the symptoms or my subconscious is picking up my fear of will this ever go? I decided to make my elderly mother a tasty lunch despite my symptoms and you know what, they did lighten off. I can't beleive after such a positive week last week I'm struggling this week. I did read that they can come in real force when you are doing well the mind starts to put up a fight and then you feel the pain more, perhaps this is what's happening. Please could someone advise me. I have just done more journellingband tried the meditation and now feel so drained.
 
Day 7

Hi still feeling pretty rough. I know that fear and attention are the two main things that feed the subconcious to produce pain when you have suppressed emotion.
I have terrible suppressed emotion regarding my husband. We have never spoke about something that happened over 19 yrs ago. We both know what happened, he was unfaithful to me in the worst possible way. But instead of confronting him, I just got on with things. I do not know whether to bring it up or just journal. Any advise would be much appreciated.
 
0208mad said:
Day 7

Hi still feeling pretty rough. I know that fear and attention are the two main things that feed the subconcious to produce pain when you have suppressed emotion.
I have terrible suppressed emotion regarding my husband. We have never spoke about something that happened over 19 yrs ago. We both know what happened, he was unfaithful to me in the worst possible way. But instead of confronting him, I just got on with things. I do not know whether to bring it up or just journal. Any advise would be much appreciated.
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Hi mad,
Whatever you do with regards to journaling or confronting him, or getting support to explore the emotions, the bottom line is that you know this issue creates a great deal of "inner tension." This knowledge should be written about or contemplated, connecting it to your symptoms, as they arise. "I know my symptoms: ______________ are a distraction, so that I don't feel the devastating/threatening feelings of ________________________, about my husband's unfaithfulness." You could write out this sentence, and fill in whatever feelings come to you, many days in a row, allowing what is there to be a little more conscious.

And, I have to say, why wouldn't you confront your husband about something which hurt you? "I really feel hurt and angry about ______________________." You might start this with journaling, and see how you feel expressing yourself.
 
As awful as it is to admit, I was scared I would be left alone. I had a newborn baby and a 8 year old. No friends or family. My mother (who I now take are of) decided to side with my sister and myself and children were showen the door. I'm sure you can work out who he had the affair with. While I was pregnant and even the night I had my baby they were together. I'm crying while I type this. This has been locked inside me for 19 years. You see from a young child I have been taught how to just get on with things so that's what I did. But it's on my mind most days.
Sorry for the long story. This is only one thing that's happened there has been lots more things that I've had to tolerate.
Even though I love my mum I do often feel resentment, thinking when I needed you so much you weren't there. My mum moved in when my dad died. I've cared for her ever since.

My mind obviously is finding a way of dealing with it by causing pain.

Thanks for reading this xxx
 
0208mad said:
As awful as it is to admit, I was scared I would be left alone. I had a newborn baby and a 8 year old. No friends or family. My mother (who I now take are of) decided to side with my sister and myself and children were showen the door. I'm sure you can work out who he had the affair with. While I was pregnant and even the night I had my baby they were together. I'm crying while I type this. This has been locked inside me for 19 years. You see from a young child I have been taught how to just get on with things so that's what I did. But it's on my mind most days.
Sorry for the long story. This is only one thing that's happened there has been lots more things that I've had to tolerate.
Even though I love my mum I do often feel resentment, thinking when I needed you so much you weren't there. My mum moved in when my dad died. I've cared for her ever since.

My mind obviously is finding a way of dealing with it by causing pain.

Thanks for reading this xxx
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Bless you. This multiple betrayal is too much for anyone to bear. It is absolutely no wonder you are suffering now but you are with friends here and we have all been through the mill so our compassion is matched with practicality. Go gently sweetheart for these are huge emotional wounds. I don't have time to write more at the moment but I send you love and the assurance that you can come through this and heal.
 
plum said:
Bless you. This multiple betrayal is too much for anyone to bear. It is absolutely no wonder you are suffering now but you are with friends here and we have all been through the mill so our compassion is matched with practicality. Go gently sweetheart for these are huge emotional wounds. I don't have time to write more at the moment but I send you love and the assurance that you can come through this and heal.
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Thank you so much.
 
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