Can't believe I'm a SUCCESS story - Feet pain 15 years 90% gone!!

So very happy for you MiffyBunny and would love it if you could share how you achieved success. I read something ( I think it was in the Steve o book) about feeling as though there's a wrinkled sock inside your shoe.
As for knees, they are not my problem, but crawling on hard cold floors to get around does not make them happy, I must say. They prefer carpet!
It is so nice to see the people such as yourself who have had success return to the forum give an encouragement. It means a lot to those still struggling.

 

Aw, it means a lot to hear that from you, believe me! I always intended to return to the TMS Wiki but I was waiting to be at the 99 % level (part of the perfectionist personality lol). I can definitely say I overcame the RSD in my feet and I've even had some other weird occurrences of TMS (groin and legs) that I overcame fairly quickly. I have a lot of depression about the way my legs look now so the knees have been a longer, harder road for me. I would say that the key for me for overcoming TMS was the "outcome independence" concept. It wasn't the pain I felt but how little I cared that made all the difference.

The problem I'm still struggling with now, is that when I feel the burning neuropathy and stabbing in my knees, I immediately think of how they look and I get depressed. This depression just feeds into the TMS strategy. It's sort of a vicious cycle. If I could stop caring about how my legs look, I know the RSD would vanish. I don't take any pain medications of any kind and I function normally now. Three years ago, I was practically bedridden and even had some ketamine infusions so when I look back on everything, I really have come a long way. I've even been through a divorce the past 2 years, so all in all I'm doing pretty well!

I completely understand the struggle and how distracting this kind of pain is, but I know unequivocally that RSD is TMS. It's stemming from your brain, not the body part(s) affected. I'm not sure if you have had any one on one psychotherapy? It's was quite helpful for me and it's' always in the back of my mind to resume therapy. Sometimes I feel like I need a little reinforcement etc.

Please keep me updated and feel free to pm me anytime!

 

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply back to you. I'm 65 years old.

 

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hung on every detail and cringed when you mentioned having RFA. I had a terrible experience having RFA on my left SI joint.

About a year after my back pain started in 2014, I began to have shooting pains in both feet (between the big toe and second toe). The first two toes on each foot were numb as well. A visit to a Podiatrist and Osteopath yielded no information. The Osteopath said it was probably due to my incredibly flat feet. It made no sense because I'd had flat feet for 54 years and they'd never hurt before. The pain started after an EMG. I guess my brain didn't like having needles stuck in my feet - which is strange since I love acupuncture. Night after night, I would soak my feet in Epsom salts and rub them down with various pain relieving ointments. None of it helped - I just wanted to feel like I was doing something. This continued for almost a year. It was a dark time. I was battling excruciating lower back pain, feet pain, buttock pain, and sciatica while working full time and attempting to have a life. In January 2017, I discovered TMS and this Wiki. I read everything I could get my hands on about TMS. I completed the SEP and have been working on the arduous process of rediscovering how to feel my emotions and stop expecting myself to always be perfect.

I wish I could say I am totally healed, but I'm not. I still have lower back pain, and now the foot pain has moved to my shoulder. However, I try to walk barefoot at least a few hours each day. Feeling the ground underneath my feet without having pain is a blessing I will never take for granted. I used to think my flat feet and monkey toes were ugly. Now, I think they are beautiful.

 

This was so inspiring to read. The outcome dependence really caught me and you explained it in a way I really got. "Success is no longer measured by whether or not you have a good walk. Success is measured by how little you care." Thank you for that! Also, if you could message me (can you do that here?) with the name of the therapist your worked with? I think I would benefit from that too! Also, I have an 18 month old and your description of missing out on things with your baby almost brought me to tears because I'm living that right now too. Before really trying to attack TMS, I had decided I have to put her in daycare because I can't take care of her, but now I'm going to try and do it!

 

So sorry I didn't reply sooner. Things got crazy with the holiday. I'm so glad something I said resonated with you. I'd be happy to PM or talk further if you think it would help. I'm totally blanking on the therapist name/center. Maybe someone on here can help. It's the center in California affiliated with this site. I KNOW I should now this. Anyone?

 

Okay...it was one of Alan Gordan's therapists out of the Pain Psychology Center. Go on his website and it talks about Skype therapy sessions.

 

did you ever get the implant removed out of your foot ? and everytime you had a surgery things got worse ?

 

I never had the implant removed. I’m too afraid to go through another surgery. Plus the negative impacts are manageable.
And I didn’t get worse with each surgery. Just the last surgery where they nicked a sensory nerve and set off the Erythromelalgia condition.

 

I was curious because you said, "my pain seemed to have increased because the implant is causing me to walk on the outside portion of my foot and I’m starting to have cramping and loss of sensation in the area under my last two toes." BUT whatever if you don't have any pain now what difference does it make ?? The mind works in mysterious ways. Happy you are doing better. AND remember this that EM diagnosis was TMS/MBS. There was a case of a young 16 year old girl who sprained her wrist out in CA. She ended up with a crazy case of CRPS of her entire arm. (it's on TedTalk). The doctor at Stanford U. worked with her from a neuroplacticity perspective including psychotherapy and she recovered within weeks. It was Dr. Elliot Krane. It was pretty a dramatic recovery. Check it out

 

Well, I still have some of those symptoms from the implant. I have very little feeling under those last two toes. I developed a huge callous there since all my weight seems to be distributed over this area. And the foot that had the surgery gets tired and crampy a lot faster than the other foot. But it’s managaeable and I’m aftaid to have any other surgeries!

I’d believe anything can be caused by TMS at this point but it’s hard to get my mind around Erythromelaglia falling into this camp. But it did seem to subside after my mindfullness and meditation work. I’ve also considered it a true miracle from God. I have a friend with a terrible case of CRPS. He’s had it 6 years. I’ll definitely direct him towards that TedTalk. He definitely does not believe in this for his CRPS.

 

The important thing is the pain you had in both your feet ? is gone right ?

 

Hi Wanttobelieve.

Thank you for posting your story here. It means alot to me since im new to TMS and still have doubts. After 15 years of cronical pain you are the first person I hear about who have symptoms somewhat similar to mine. I too have very cold feet and the feeling of walking directly on the bone of the forefoot and also a sharp burning pain in my heels. My pain is related to my activity. If I walk or stand (for a while) I get pain in my feet. If I lay on one side I get pain in that side. If i write on a keyboard I get pain in my fingertips. If I dont use my fingers I wont get pain there. So all the pain is related to some physical pressure (mainly from gravity). Even laying on a soft mattress will cause pain eventually if I dont change position often. So its physical pressure on certain parts of my body that causes pain exactly where the pressure is. Also if I one time have overstrained a certain part of my body this part will in the future be more fragile than it used to be, meaning it will take less pressure to cause pain in the future. Unfortunatly this situation is completely pacifying since I constantly fear causing permanent damage to myself if I’m active. I’m still looking for someone with exactly the same symptoms as mine since I’m not 100% convinced I have TMS. Unfortunatly the "what else can it be?" argument is not quite enough for me.

 

Anders,
How would you answer the question, what else would it be? Could you work an evidence sheet from your answers, listing why it's not those things?
Lizzy

 

Lizzy,
An example: Maybe it´s some nerve problem caused by my immune system causing my nerves to overreact or the body reacting to polution in my body. And therefore not related to TMS. I believe it´s likely I have TMS, but the doubt is a problem. Thats why it´s so important to me to hear about people with the same symptoms.

 

Anders, as long as this is important to you, then you are not accepting the validity of the TMS diagnosis, and you will remain stuck.

The brilliance, and the evil, of the TMS mechanism is that it takes advantage of the fact that your brain is in charge of all physiological systems and responses in your body - which means that your brain can create brand-new symptoms just for you - designed precisely because you WON'T be able to compare them to anyone else. This is designed to keep you in fear, worried, and constantly on the alert for danger. It's a primitive survival technique in our primitive brains, that does not serve us well in the modern world.

Of course, we can't tell you if you have TMS. Many people see a TMS doctor to receive a diagnosis. However, many of us are self-diagnosed, based on evidence that we collected over many years of suffering from symptoms.

The evidence that you need to start paying attention to might be:

- doctors who say they can't find anything wrong,
- doctors who advise you that you are stressed or anxious
- doctors who label your condition with some new syndrome they've put a label on because they don't know what else to call it
- doctors who blame "inflammation" but can't point to any actual evidence
- symptoms that go away when you're distracted by enjoyable activities
- symptoms that go away, but are replaced by other symptoms
and, of course:
- the personality type for TMS

If you have not read any of Dr. Sarno's books, you must read at least one before you can proceed. I personally like his most recent one, The Divided Mind, which has six chapters by other mind-body practitioners (five doctors, and a therapist).

There are a TON of resources that people discuss on this forum, not the least of which are the two free programs that we offer. For you, I would advise the Structured Educational Program, on tmswiki.org.

Good luck,

~Jan

 

Ditto what Jan said, Anders. That's the wisdom our Beloved Eagles.

 

Thank you for the usefull advice. I will do as you suggested.

 

Thank you for posting this topic. I have tarsal tunnel syndrome and have been dealing with it for over a year. I am at the point of surgery or not, but after reading this, I have motivation to go back to my TMS roots. Would you be willing to let me know what therapist you Skyped with? I really appreciate your post.

 

Hi new member!

I'm sure they are all great at The Pain Psychology Center but I had Daniel and Amber, I highly recommend them both!