Anne Walker
Beloved Grand Eagle
I had surgery for lower back disc herniation 20 years ago. I was aware of Dr Sarno at the time and tried for several months to apply TMS thinking to my back pain with no reduction in my pain. So I had surgery. The surgery reduced my pain some, but I still had severe chronic pain in my back for years after the surgery. After the back pain finally resolved, I started experiencing other chronic pain conditions, including panic attacks and anxiety. I didn't really connect all the pain syndromes other than feeling a little desperate that there always seemed to be something wrong with me. Over many years I did start to believe that I was inherently unlucky or there was something basically wrong with me. And yet I always kept searching, hoping... Three years ago I developed a severe neck/shoulder spasm. It was also connected to right sided occipital neuralgia that I had experienced off and on over the years. But this pain was more severe and more stubborn than anything I had experienced since the disc rupture in my lower back. I had a cervical MRI and it revealed multiple herniated discs. Surgery was recommended again. I was very hesitant because of my previous experience. I also read Dr Hascom's book "Back in Control" about this time. I asked the doctors if I could safely postpone surgery for 6 months and they said yes. I did not 100% believe that the pain was caused by TMS, but I desperately wanted to believe. I wanted a way out, without surgery, drug addiction, suffering and sadness. I wanted so much to live my life without it revolving around what my pain level was on any particular day! My TMS recovery was a long, painful roller coaster of persistence fueled by desperation, but in the end, it has paid off! My belief came slowly. And even now my nervous system occasionally convulses with ghosts of pain conditions from the past, or even occasionally comes up with something new. But overall, I now have what I desired the most. For the most part my thoughts and pursuits reside in the world around me. Today(after I finish this post) I am restoring some cool old vintage chairs for my office, drinking carrot juice and playing with my little Mi-Ki puppy. It is hot in Texas in August but life is good!!
