Burning skin

[Thibaut33]

Hello everyone,

Thank you, Adam and Wolfgang, for your replies.

I would really appreciate your opinion.

I haven’t been working on my TMS for very long, and I feel like my approach is a bit all over the place.

I think I need a clearer framework—a kind of daily routine or protocol that I can consistently follow.

Here’s what I’ve been doing every day for the past two to three weeks:

I use positive and safety affirmations. I regularly remind myself that I am safe, that my TMS is not structural, that my back is healthy, and that my body-wide burning sensations are not dangerous but simply false danger signals.

I repeat these kinds of statements to myself many times throughout the day.

I’ve completely stopped searching the internet for reassurance.

I’ve also stopped using AI apps, as they ended up doing me more harm than good.

I’ve made a real effort to stop counting the days of flare-ups and the days of relief.

I try not to feed my automatic thoughts when they appear, and I do my best to stop ruminating.

I’m more active now, and I’m doing things that I would never have done before because I was afraid of hurting my back.

I’m also trying to become more aware of my emotions and better understand them.

I had started the Structured Educational Program and completed it up to Day 7, but I paused it about ten days ago.

I also practice Somatic Tracking when the pain isn’t too intense, but I’m not very consistent with it, and I know I’m not doing it often enough.

That’s everything I’ve put in place over the past couple of weeks, but I feel that it’s too disorganized and not structured enough.

More importantly, I feel that it isn’t enough.

Meditation, breathing exercises, the Structured Educational Program…

I’d like to create a daily routine that I can follow consistently.

I really want to address the anxiety, fear, and stress that I believe play a major role in my TMS.

Every day, I intend to commit seriously to the Structured Educational Program, and I’d love to hear your thoughts about adding regular meditation, breathing exercises, and Somatic Tracking to my routine.

That said, I understand that this routine shouldn’t become an obsession or take up 100% of my day.

What do you think?

Thank you very much.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

For about 5–6 days, my back became my main pain sensation. I approached it with as little fear as possible and tried to correct my unhealthy habits as best I could.

After that, I was able to enjoy around ten days that I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

You're clearly capable and have a decent understanding from this (in terms of reacting better to sensations).

That said, I understand that this routine shouldn’t become an obsession or take up 100% of my day.

More importantly, I feel that it isn’t enough.

Exactly, and to me you're basically at that point already. Less is more, and if anything you should be doing less than what you're doing now, definitely not more in my opinion. I think the reason you don't feel like it's enough is because you're desperate to recover, which I understand, but it doesn't respond very well to desperation. It only contradicts the idea that there's nothing wrong with you.

I think the Structural Education Program is more than enough from the emotional side - you can do somatic tracking, but as I quoted you above you're clearly capable of responding well to sensations - which is really what somatic tracking is - it doesn't necessarily need to be a concrete practice. I don't really believe in "routines" for this - you need a routine when recovering from an injury - TMS is 90% about belief and then living out that belief (by getting back into life and changing your relationship with symptoms based on that new knowledge/belief). The Structured Program is enough routine and structure in my opinion, otherwise like you said you just end making recovery your life.

I'd be more focused on your belief in the TMS diagnosis (especially as it relates to the burning sensations). Because the stronger your belief in the TMS diagnosis is, the better you'll react to symptoms (which is the purpose of somatic tracking). That's the reason why you were able to respond well to your back because you're more sure that's TMS (it scares you less). Also, like I alluded to before, it's then a case of backing of your belief with actions. If you know it's TMS, why are you still taking medication for your back? It has the potential to confuse the brain (again, don't come off medication without consultation with a doctor, but it's just something to think about).

 

[Thibaut33]

Thank you, Adam. You've been an incredibly valuable source of support.

When I talk about a protocol, I’m thinking of something fairly simple that revolves around the Structured Educational Program.

For example:

- Safety and positive affirmations as needed throughout the day.
- The Structured Educational Program in the morning, for about 30 minutes, followed by 10–15 minutes of meditation.
- In the afternoon or evening, 10 minutes of Somatic Tracking.
- A few minutes of 4-7-8 breathing when I wake up and before going to bed.

That’s the general idea.

I often notice a similar message from several people, including you.

Buglio, my coach, you, and others all seem to convey the idea that the less we do, the better we tend to feel.

If I had to summarize it, it would be something like: "Take it easy. Everything is okay. There's no problem to solve. You're safe." So... there isn't actually much to do.

I understand the principle, but putting it into practice is another story.

At the same time, I see people who have regained their lives by following a kind of routine involving meditation, Somatic Tracking, journaling, and other practices.

It's not easy to know which direction to take.

Regarding the medication for my back:

I have an appointment next week with my pain specialist to plan a gradual taper.

I've been taking morphine for six months, and it's not something you can simply stop overnight.

I've wanted to come off it for some time now because its benefits are limited, and I don't think it's good for me in the long run.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

At the same time, I see people who have regained their lives by following a kind of routine involving meditation, Somatic Tracking, journaling, and other practices.

It's not easy to know which direction to take.

I appreciate that - and it is just my opinion at the end of the day. I'm by no means discounting those experiences/inferring that they aren't valid.

I have an appointment next week with my pain specialist to plan a gradual taper.

I've been taking morphine for six months, and it's not something you can simply stop overnight.

I've wanted to come off it for some time now because its benefits are limited, and I don't think it's good for me in the long run.

Sounds good!

 

[BloodMoon]

I agree with @Adam Coloretti (coach)...

I think the reason you don't feel like it's enough is because you're desperate to recover, which I understand, but it doesn't respond very well to desperation. It only contradicts the idea that there's nothing wrong with you.

It's good to change the way we live our lives by introducing positive things like meditation and box breathing, but from my experience it's best to do that very gradually, in baby steps. I found that building things up slowly made them much easier to turn into lasting habits, rather than another source of pressure. Pressure is stress, and stress is the last thing a sensitised nervous system needs.

You've started the SEP, which is great, but other than that I'd suggest just doing one mind-body technique in your day. What I've discovered is that, for many people with a sensitised nervous system, trying to change too much at once can feel overwhelming to the brain, even when those changes are positive.

A little variety, on the other hand, can be a great way of showing your brain that it's safe to try new things and gradually incorporate them into your life.

One thing that worked well for me was writing different mind-body practices on cards, putting them in a bowl, and picking one at random each day, like a 'lucky dip'. It kept things light and took away the pressure of feeling that I had to do a particular exercise. For me, that helped my brain learn that I was safe, there was no danger or emergency, and there was nothing to fear.

 

[Thibaut33]

Hello everyone,

Thank you, BloodMoon, for your message.

I’d really like to hear your thoughts about what my TMS has been putting me through since yesterday afternoon.

The day before yesterday, I went to the swimming pool for the second time with my wife and daughter.

This time, my back was more painful than it had been the first time, about two weeks ago.

After repeating a few safety statements and encouraging myself, I decided to go for it.

While we were in the pool, I was able to carry my daughter in the water, and we played together for about 15 minutes.

Unlike the first time, the pain was already there and increased during the activity.

It then felt like a battle between my conscious mind and my unconscious mind.

My conscious mind kept reassuring itself and continued with the activity, while my unconscious mind was terrified and filled with doubts and questions.

For the rest of the evening, my back hurt constantly, except when I went to bed, when it settled down. My wife and I were even able to share an intimate moment without me thinking about my back.

The next day—yesterday—my back had calmed down, and I had my second PRT coaching session, which really helped and left me feeling motivated.

After that, I carried on with my morning, and my wife and I went out to a restaurant together, just the two of us, for the first time in a very long time.

It was a really enjoyable moment. Afterwards, we went home, and I lay down for about an hour to rest. Unfortunately, despite feeling tired, I couldn't fall asleep.

After that, I did a bit of washing up and prepared some food for my daughter.

Then we went to the shopping mall so my wife could do some shopping.

It was in the car that my back suddenly flared up very intensely.

Shopping and the rest of the day were not enjoyable at all.

This morning, my back is still flared up, and it's very difficult to let go.

Looking back, I can see that I did quite a lot over those two days, and my brain—my nervous system—didn't seem to like it.

I have to admit that I still find it difficult not to think that maybe I simply did too much over those 48 hours and that my hypersensitive nervous system just couldn't cope with it.

And yet, it wasn't a physical feat. I genuinely wanted to do those things.

 

[BloodMoon]

@Thibaut33 As I think you're recognising, you didn't do "too much" in the sense that your body isn’t incapable of those things — it’s about how a hypersensitive nervous system can respond.

From my own experience, I generally fared better by taking things very gradually in “baby steps”, and you may find that approach works better for you too. It allowed me to “fly under the radar” with my brain and not scare it too much. I still had some flaring of symptoms even at that level, but they tended to settle more quickly than when I was more “pushy”.

At the same time, it was important not to focus on monitoring symptoms. You can’t help but notice them, but constantly assessing and monitoring them more than tends to keep things going (because your TMSing brain wants you to do that).

Some TMSers do manage to jump back into normal life at full pelt, but that didn’t work for me, and I’m not alone in that.

The brain can also respond to things you genuinely want to do as if they’re a potential threat. I found it helpful to think of symptoms as alarm signals — your brain checking “are you sure this is okay?”. You gradually teach it that it is by returning to those activities in bite-sized pieces. Sometimes it won’t react at all, and other times it will — it’s just double or even triple checking.

The trick to "baby steps" is to think small, but with a view to eventually doing big. For example, instead of going to the pool, if you've got a yard/garden, you could put out a paddling pool for your daughter and play together (if she’s at an age where that works). For the time being, it cuts out the driving, getting changed, and any extra stops on the way back.

 

[Thibaut33]

Thank you, BloodMoon.

I do think I need to take things step by step, especially when I see the state I’m in this morning.

I think it was the accumulation of activities that overwhelmed my nervous system, rather than one specific activity, such as swimming.

The difficult part is knowing whether a particular activity will be too much, and whether the moment when I want to do it will be compatible with what my nervous system can handle.

Unfortunately, I can clearly see that doing just one activity too many can still trigger a tidal wave.

I can’t wait for the day when, instead of a tidal wave, it will only be a small ripple.

But I know that it will take time and work to rewire my brain.

In one week, we’re going on vacation: a 4-hour drive, a first place to stay for a few days, then a second one, for a total of around ten days.

It won’t be an easy task to balance everything with my nervous system, my own desires, spending time with my children and making them happy, and also sharing moments with my wife.

It will be up to me to find the right balance.

 

[BloodMoon]

The difficult part is knowing whether a particular activity will be too much, and whether the moment when I want to do it will be compatible with what my nervous system can handle.

Unfortunately, I can clearly see that doing just one activity too many can still trigger a tidal wave.

A sensitised brain is constantly looking out for danger, but what it interprets as danger isn't always obvious or how it seems to us. It may not be the amount you do that triggers symptoms; sometimes it can be the emotional context around what you're doing.

For example, and I am not saying that this was necessarily the case, but you might go shopping simply to please your wife, however underneath there may be a feeling of pressure, resentment, or that you're ignoring your own needs. The activity itself is harmless, but a sensitised brain may react to the inner conflict.

Dr. Sarno described such an experience when he agreed to go on a long road trip that his wife wanted to take. Consciously, he wanted to be loving and accommodating, but another part of him didn't really want to go. His point was that two feelings can exist at the same time: "I love my wife and want her to enjoy herself" and "I don't want to spend days driving across the country." It was the hidden conflict, rather than the trip itself, that he believed his brain was responding to in creating gastric symptoms.

My own journey has been different to yours and many others because I started from a place where I finally had nothing expected of me by anyone—I was bedridden (with so called 'fibromyalgia' and chronic fatigue)—so I could start from scratch and rebuild slowly with small steps, no one was expecting me to go on vacation.

For your trip though, I'd suggest taking a soft approach to activity, which is what I do these days. Listen to yourself moment by moment. If you need to rest, rest. If you need to slow down, slow down. That isn't giving in to your brain; it's showing it some safety, because you'll still be 'getting on with life' as best you can despite the symptoms, which is crucial to recovery as that also tells your brain that you know you're actually safe.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

It won’t be an easy task to balance everything with my nervous system, my own desires, spending time with my children and making them happy, and also sharing moments with my wife.

It will be up to me to find the right balance.

I wouldn't get too obsessed with this, because then it's just going to add more stress and panic (you're going to start panicking about doing too much, and that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy).

The fact that you did those activities at all (and you didn't seem to be in agony whilst doing them) is a massive win. I'm a big believer in letting your belief and confidence drive what you do, so long as you don't do it out of desperation. If, for example, you carried your daughter in the water because you thought well why not there's nothing wrong with me, rather than doing it in a desperate (and frustrated) attempt to prove to yourself that you could do it without pain, then that's perfect. The more natural the action, the less likely it is just to be a test (so in this case, this act is very natural and a part of your life). The truth is that (assuming you did it for the right reasons as I just alluded to) if you didn't have the confidence to do it and you were too scared, then you wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't want you to necessarily look back on what you did (based on this idea of "doing too much") and think it was a mistake; to me it was a natural expression of your increased belief in the TMS diagnosis (expanding your activity levels and doing things you haven't done in a long time), and that is no mistake. It's a very important showing to the brain that you're ok, even if the brain isn't convinced yet (it will only become convinced through repetition + your improved reactions).

I completely agree with @BloodMoon too in that it is a lot more profitable to focus on the emotional context and not just the physical idea of doing too much, as that will be far closer to the truth.

If you tag it as an error, then what you're really saying is that I shouldn't be in pain after these activities. Whilst that's the end goal, it makes complete sense why you are at the moment, it's simply that the brain isn't convinced yet. That's fine, and it's part of the process

 

[Thibaut33]

Hello,

@BloodMoon, let's imagine, as you suggested, that my unconscious mind didn't want to go shopping. Why does the pain continue even after the activity is over?

@adam, the first time I went to the swimming pool, I only had mild back pain. I had a few small apprehensions, but they quickly disappeared once I was in the water.

The second time, two days ago, I went with more back pain, and once I was in the water, the pain increased.

Even though I kept repeating safety and reassurance messages to myself, my nervous system clearly didn't see things the same way I did.

The next morning, seeing that the pain had decreased quite a bit, I thought, "Great! I'm going to do the things I want to do. I'm not going to pay attention to the pain."

I felt motivated.

My coaching session, a quick round trip to the auto repair shop, lunch at a restaurant with my wife—throughout all of that, the pain remained mild.

I was happy and optimistic.

Then my back flared up again, just like during my worst periods, with constant pain no matter what position I was in.

It's now been almost two days, and it has really knocked me back and is taking a serious toll on my mental state.

What really leaves me wondering is this accumulation of activities.

Because the price I'm paying for it feels incredibly high.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

Even though I kept repeating safety and reassurance messages to myself, my nervous system clearly didn't see things the same way I did.

Although I appreciate that it's frustrating, this doesn't surprise me. The nervous system is complex, and it won't be an exact science every time. That's why progress is measured over time - it's like watching the stock market - if you track progress every day you're going to go crazy with all the fluctuations and you're going to get very discouraged (vs tracking progress over time).

The next morning, seeing that the pain had decreased quite a bit, I thought, "Great! I'm going to do the things I want to do. I'm not going to pay attention to the pain."

I felt motivated.

That's a great sign and also great evidence of TMS - it makes complete sense why you were motivated based on this.

Then my back flared up again, just like during my worst periods, with constant pain no matter what position I was in.

It's now been almost two days, and it has really knocked me back and is taking a serious toll on my mental state.

What really leaves me wondering is this accumulation of activities.

Because the price I'm paying for it feels incredibly high.

The fact that it flared up a fair time after the activity itself is again even more great evidence of TMS. I completely understand and empathise with your frustration, as well as appreciate how it can knock you back (having been through it myself) - but the truth is that, even though it's theoretically possible, 99% of recoveries aren't linear. If you're expecting a sort of flat line upwards trajectory (like you would expect more from injury recovery) then you're going to get constantly discouraged. It's more like a mountain range, there will more than likely be many ups and downs. That makes sense though because the recovery is more based on knowledge that nothing is wrong and it's recovery as to how you relate to the symptoms and also how you relate (better) to yourself, symptoms going away is a byproduct of that work.

As such, even though I appreciate that it is disheartening, as long as your belief remains in tact that this is TMS (and how this all eventuated is big evidence that it is TMS, as I alluded to before) and as long as you appreciate that this is absolutely part of the process, then that's the most important thing. The thing that sticks out to me and gives me encouragement for you is that you were able to do those things and you even had some time afterwards where it was ok - the fact that the patterns are a bit all over the place symptom wise is reflective of it being TMS. I know it's easy for me to say on the outside looking in, but none of what you said surprises me or is a cause for concern (at least recovery wise - I empathise with the pain). You're treating it as if you must have done something wrong, when you haven't to me and it is just part of the process for 99% of people. If you tell yourself that you've done something wrong, then you'll be hesitant to go back into the pool, which is really the opposite of what we want.

 

[BloodMoon]

@BloodMoon, let's imagine, as you suggested, that my unconscious mind didn't want to go shopping. Why does the pain continue even after the activity is over?

Even if your unconscious mind was partly trying to stop you going shopping, the pain can still carry on afterwards because your nervous system is already activated. In mind-body terms, your system may stay on high alert for a while, even once the original situation has passed. It can be a bit like an inner child having a tantrum, or as if part of you is still torn and hasn’t quite settled down yet. So the pain is not necessarily about the shopping itself; it's simply your nervous system still processing conflict, uncertainty, or a sense of threat.

You could say that the pain acted as a signal during the activity, but then the system didn’t switch off straight away. And if you then start worrying about the pain, checking it, or trying to force it away, that can keep the alarm going. So lingering pain doesn’t mean that harm was done; it just means your system is still doing its best to protect you. I think of it as being rather like when something consciously upsets us and we can’t quite let it go for a while.

When I was bedridden for over 18 months with severe pain, it was because my brain wasn’t switching off — not because bending over to put my socks on was actually harmful. My brain used that movement as the moment to trigger an almighty spasm, and the muscles then locked things in place. Once you understand what the brain is capable of in sustaining symptoms, it becomes clearer that the original activity was not the real cause. The brain can keep producing symptoms until it feels safe and less conflicted.

By the way, I agree with everything @Adam Coloretti (coach) has advised you, especially in his last two posts -- recovery is not usually linear. This is how they illustrate it in The Pain Reprocessing Workbook by Vanessa Blackstone:

 

[Diana-M]

The brain can keep producing symptoms until it feels safe and less conflicted.

Yes! 100 percent! And safety is taught through the body. Your body can reach the primitive brain the best. So when you soothe your nerves through meditation and physical means, like havening, your primitive brain will stand down.

 

[BloodMoon]

Yes! 100 percent! And safety is taught through the body. Your body can reach the primitive brain the best. So when you soothe your nerves through meditation and physical means, like havening, your primitive brain will stand down.

Absolutely. A so called 'bottom up' approach. I use the 'bottom up' techniques from "101 Ways to Find Calm: How to use your body to soothe your mind" by Rebekah Ballagh. Technique number 88 incorporates arm stroking which I think is similar to havening (except you stroke not just your upper arms but down to your wrists) with optional eye gazing positioning:

 

[Diana-M]

@BloodMoon
I will check out that book! I can’t believe it has taken me so long to soak in what you’ve been saying for years. I guess everyone learns when their time is right. The bottom up approach is absolutely what’s helping me at this point.

 

[BloodMoon]

I can’t believe it has taken me so long to soak in what you’ve been saying for years. I guess everyone learns when their time is right.

The thing is, it wasn't you—it was your TMS brain rejecting it. It didn't want you to find the solution.