Burning skin

[TG957]

"Hi, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me how you practiced somatic tracking. I mean in your day-to-day life: did you do it at any time, and for how long? They say it’s not recommended for high levels of pain—not because it doesn't work, but because many people find it hard to stay calm with that level of intensity. It can be counterproductive because you might end up reinforcing the behavior instead of weakening it; but if you do it right, even with severe pain, it does work. I hope you can get back to me."

When I recovered from burning skin and other symptoms, term "somatic tracking" was not coined yet and it was not developed as a formal method. I slowly became mindful of physical manifestations of my emotions: how anxiety, anger etc. roll through my body. I trained myself to think about it each time I was receiving a signal of pain. In the beginning, it was every minute, then it became less frequent. You don't have to work hard at it, just remind yourself that behind your pain, there is a repressed or suppressed emotion. It eventually becomes a habit, sort of a subconscious response to subconscious.

 

[Thibaut33]

Hello Tamara,

Thank you for your replies and advice.

I would have gladly read your book, but since I’m French and only speak English moderately well, I’m afraid I wouldn’t understand everything.

 

[TG957]

Hello Tamara,

Thank you for your replies and advice.

I would have gladly read your book, but since I’m French and only speak English moderately well, I’m afraid I wouldn’t understand everything.

Sorry to hear about your language difficulties. It looks like on Kindle you can use section-by-section translation from English to French. Thanks to this conversation with you, I am now looking at the option of using the Kindle capabilities of AI translation of my book into French. It might take a while, but when I am done with it, I will let you know. My French is very rudimentary, so I would not be able to judge the quality of translation, but at this point AI can be trusted to do a decent job. Thanks to one of the amazing members of this forum, who put a lot of effort into translating my book into Spanish before the AI era, it is now available in Spanish, so why not add a French edition to it!
Meanwhile, you can help yourself to the website www.defeatcrps.com, where real-time translation is done by your browser. It is a joint effort between @miffybunny and me, we blog about CRPS recovery, but it is 100% relevant to any other TMS condition.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

However, I’m having a bit more difficulty with the concept of rage that he talks about so much and with the program that follows from it.

I get the impression that current coaches and therapists have moved somewhat away from all of that.

My understanding is that everyone agrees on neuroplastic pain, but I also get the impression that the tools and approaches have evolved quite a lot.

I understand you and to some extent it has branched off, but I don't think too far. The rage he is talking about mostly has to do with not being able to be yourself - i.e. doing too much of what you think you should do vs what you want to do/trusting your intuition. Rage is generated mainly at not being able to be yourself - your true self being repressed out of necessity a lot of the time. That is really Freudian repression which is what Dr Sarno was basing it on and is what modern psychology is based on.

However one gets there it is true that there are different avenues - but if you're being more self-compassionate and being more authentic at the end of the day, then there will be less rage to repress. A big part of the self-compassion is to accept your emotions fully without guilt.

After a few positive thoughts, without being particularly worried, I went into her room and picked her up.

No pain. I congratulated myself for doing it.

Five minutes later, the alarm went off. I went from 0 to 6.

I breathed, calmed myself, reminded myself that nothing serious was happening, that it was my brain and that this was only temporary.

I wasn’t especially worried or anxious.

Unfortunately, despite staying on that course, it has now been three days and the alarm has been screaming louder and louder each day.

The start was great, and this might just be how it was phrased (so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong), but it sounds as if there was an element of you congratulating yourself for it because it caused no pain (at least initially). It also sounded as if you did it and then were scanning and wondering whether it would come (which makes complete sense as you said it was a test - so you have to do that in order to see if the test worked). You're just starting out with this journey so it's perfectly reasonable and pretty much everyone does this at the start, but you should be congratulating yourself for doing it regardless of whether or not it caused pain (just doing it sends a message of safety to the brain, even if the brain doesn't react to it instantly and still sends pain - we need to accumulate these messages - but we need to do it for the right reason/intent too, as I'll explain below). If it is TMS, short term symptoms aren't that important in terms of recovery and they aren't necessarily a bad sign (in that they are not a reliable indicator of progress and can actually provide us with a lot of valuable information as to what is going on - I empathise completely though with them as they are important in daily life, and I don't want you to suffer at all). I'm not surprised that the alarm went off 5 minutes later because you were likely hyper fixated on it. It didn't cause pain so you probably got a little bit excited, but then part of you probably thought it was too good to be true.

As you go through the work, your belief will rise and you'll become more indifferent. The ultimate message of safety to the brain is not really caring whether symptoms come or not, as that's the truest evidence to your brain that you know nothing is actually wrong. Tests rarely work (they never worked for me), as if you think about it if there's nothing wrong with you then what are you testing? The brain thinks (as the subconscious brain does - in a very basic manner - it doesn't have much advanced logic or reasoning) "well he's testing so there must be something wrong with us, because people who have nothing wrong don't need to test" (which makes sense at the basic level that the subconscious operates on). The golden rule is "is this action/thought sending a message to my brain that I am safe and healthy or in danger and broken?". If you filter everything through that (intent behind the action is important too, as I discussed about testing), you can't go too far wrong, and this mainly just entails getting back to life as normal (I mean normal from a physical and activity perspective, some things emotionally may have to change as they may have contributed to the symptoms in the first place). This all takes time, but I just thought I'd explain it in terms of where you'll get to and how your mindset will shift as a result

 

[Thibaut33]

Hello Adam,

Thank you for your reply.

For a little over a month, since my brain seemed occupied with the body burning sensations, my back had almost been on vacation.

That gradually allowed me to naturally do more things.

Without overthinking it, without telling myself “this is a test” or “this might hurt,” I started trying and daring to do more small things — bending forward, crouching down, carrying slightly heavier things, vacuuming.

I was still keeping my usual avoidances, but even these small improvements ended up being huge compared to everything I had prevented myself from doing for more than a year.

And having no pain, or very little pain, was more than encouraging. On top of that, I had significantly reduced my morphine intake.

Unfortunately, carrying my daughter restarted the whole cycle five days ago, and I’m back in some of my worst lower back periods.

In a way, my brain replaced one hell with another.

All of this is affecting me deeply and my morale is at its lowest.

In a few days, it will have been four months since my TMS increased dramatically.

A huge amount of anxiety, a lot of fear, and lately I’ve also been feeling depression becoming much more present.

Since my brain seems to reject any medication support by triggering strong TMS reactions, I don’t even have the option of using medication as a temporary support to help my mind get through this.

Sometimes, I feel like I’m stuck in a dead end when it comes to moving forward with this TMS.

But I’m not giving up, and I’m continuing.

Today I’m going to do Day 5 of the Structured Educational Program.

Next week I have my first appointment with the pain clinic. I’m not expecting much from it, except maybe help with tapering off morphine and some administrative support for my paperwork.

And most importantly, my first coaching session, where I hope we’ll finally start putting something structured in place.

 

[Thibaut33]

Adam,

I would like to thank you because you wrote this:

"The rage he is talking about mostly has to do with not being able to be yourself - i.e. doing too much of what you think you should do vs what you want to do/trusting your intuition. Rage is generated mainly at not being able to be yourself - your true self being repressed out of necessity a lot of the time. That is really Freudian repression which is what Dr Sarno was basing it on and is what modern psychology is based on."

I think you helped me identify this rage and put a name on it. I feel like I’ve had a real breakthrough.

This morning, my wife, in a hurry to go to work, asked me for help preparing her packed lunch.

Just cutting a few vegetables and putting them in her lunch box.

Helping her was not bothersome, but at that moment I was in so much back pain that I felt this “rage”.

Not rage toward my wife, but rage toward myself, toward my condition, realizing that even cutting a simple vegetable feels like a challenge.

I could really feel this rage, this internal tension, even with something so simple.
I felt it more strongly than usual. Is it because I understood something? Probably.

And a few seconds later, I remembered the hundreds of times I have felt this same sensation.

I experience this feeling several times a day, whether for a physical or mental task.

And I feel like I am beginning to understand something.

That this rage is not directed at the activity itself, like cutting vegetables, taking care of my daughter, or calling the plumber.

But rather against myself, my body — it is toward me that this rage is directed.

Thank you, Adam.

 

[Thibaut33]

Hello everyone,

Quite a lot has happened since my last message.

A little over 15 days ago, the body burning sensations dropped significantly and gave way to my lower back after briefly carrying my daughter.

For about 5–6 days, my back became my main pain sensation. I approached it with as little fear as possible and tried to correct my unhealthy habits as best I could.

After that, I was able to enjoy around ten days that I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

Not pain-free days, but manageable days — days where the pain didn’t go above 5–6 and where, most of the time, it stayed below 5.

I was able to enjoy my daughter’s end-of-year daycare celebration on the first day of that better period.

Four days ago, I was able to go to a baby swimming class and carry my daughter in the water for the first time since she was born 19 months ago. It was an amazing moment.

That same evening, I was able to share an intimate moment with my partner, something I hadn’t been able to do for more than three months.

Of course, I was careful, and during these events I was able to enjoy them with only mild to moderate sensations.

Unfortunately, two days after the swimming session and then that intimate moment, my back flared up badly yesterday and it’s continuing today.

I’m trying as much as possible to stay calm, reassure myself, and not fall back into my old habits.

But these sensations make me feel like I’m taking one step forward and two steps back.

I know I only entered the mind-body approach very recently and that it will take time, but it’s frustrating to see that you can still fall back to the same intensity of sensations as before.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

Adam,

I would like to thank you because you wrote this:

"The rage he is talking about mostly has to do with not being able to be yourself - i.e. doing too much of what you think you should do vs what you want to do/trusting your intuition. Rage is generated mainly at not being able to be yourself - your true self being repressed out of necessity a lot of the time. That is really Freudian repression which is what Dr Sarno was basing it on and is what modern psychology is based on."

I think you helped me identify this rage and put a name on it. I feel like I’ve had a real breakthrough.

This morning, my wife, in a hurry to go to work, asked me for help preparing her packed lunch.

Just cutting a few vegetables and putting them in her lunch box.

Helping her was not bothersome, but at that moment I was in so much back pain that I felt this “rage”.

Not rage toward my wife, but rage toward myself, toward my condition, realizing that even cutting a simple vegetable feels like a challenge.

I could really feel this rage, this internal tension, even with something so simple.
I felt it more strongly than usual. Is it because I understood something? Probably.

And a few seconds later, I remembered the hundreds of times I have felt this same sensation.

I experience this feeling several times a day, whether for a physical or mental task.

And I feel like I am beginning to understand something.

That this rage is not directed at the activity itself, like cutting vegetables, taking care of my daughter, or calling the plumber.

But rather against myself, my body — it is toward me that this rage is directed.

Thank you, Adam.

I'm so sorry for not responding to this - it wasn't intentional!

I'm very glad that it helped

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

I approached it with as little fear as possible and tried to correct my unhealthy habits as best I could.

After that, I was able to enjoy around ten days that I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

Not pain-free days, but manageable days — days where the pain didn’t go above 5–6 and where, most of the time, it stayed below 5.

That's not a coincidence! Your brain responded to your lack of fear.

Unfortunately, two days after the swimming session and then that intimate moment, my back flared up badly yesterday and it’s continuing today.

I’m trying as much as possible to stay calm, reassure myself, and not fall back into my old habits.

But these sensations make me feel like I’m taking one step forward and two steps back.

It's not two steps back at all, it only is if you think it is. You're getting back to things, so the brain is just being protective and it's sending that pain almost as a test. I look at it as a dialogue - your brain is saying "we had a few good days, but I'm still not sure, I'll send pain to see how he reacts". It's just part of the process and it does take time because the brain won't give up protecting you easily/without a fight (nor should it - we wouldn't have survived for this long as a species if that protective mechanism wasn't sensitive). As long as you react just a little bit better than you would have before at the same symptom level, then you're winning

I know I only entered the mind-body approach very recently and that it will take time, but it’s frustrating to see that you can still fall back to the same intensity of sensations as before.

The big win is that you had those 1o days, because they are brilliant evidence that this is TMS (and the more evidence you have that there's nothing wrong with you, the easier it should be to react with more calm and indifference) - you can't lose that as it's already happened - it can't be taken away from you as evidence both that it is TMS but also as evidence as to what's possible. I would understand if you had never had a day like that, that you'd be more skeptical. But if you had 10 days of that, why can't you have 20? And if 20 is possible why not 30? And if 30 is possible, then why not indefinitely? Once you're capable, you're capable.

Because of this, it's impossible to lose progress when it comes to TMS if you have the correct mindset

 

[Thibaut33]

Hello, and thank you for your replies.

I’m also convinced that this is TMS.

You’re saying that after seeing things were getting better, my brain basically thought, “Let’s test this and see,” and therefore triggered the pain.

But I find myself wondering the opposite: could it be that I simply did too much for my brain and nervous system, and that this overload triggered the alarm?

 

[JanAtheCPA]

make me feel like I’m taking one step forward and two steps back.

A huge aspect of this work, as Adam is also saying, is that we have to be willing and able to completely change our outlook.

For example, in this statement, you can take the idea of two in "two steps back" and apply it logically to the brain mechanism that is trying to hold you back, instead of using it to negatively judge yourself! Using a phrase that might be very American, I like to say that this early stage of the TMS journey is when your fearful brain tries to double down in its efforts to increase your symptoms so that you will give up on this self-examination and go back to obsessing about your pain and avoiding life.

It's all about being mindful and taking the pressure off yourself.

I wonder how "double down" will translate?

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

But I find myself wondering the opposite: could it be that I simply did too much for my brain and nervous system, and that this overload triggered the alarm?

I mean I think it's pretty much the same in that in both ways of looking at it the brain is protecting you. I'd prefer mine simply because to me you might risk inferring with yours that you're not capable or that there's something wrong with your nervous system. You're more than capable of doing all of the things you did, your brain is just hesitant because you've spent years thinking something is wrong with you (as pretty much everyone with TMS does - that's how it grows and that's how we become conditioned), so it's not sure whether these activities are safe or not.

The idea of "doing too much" when it comes to TMS to me is fraught with danger. From an emotional perspective and when it comes to trauma then yes there is an element to that, but with physical movement and activity I just think it is too similar to the idea of being physically injured, where you (rightly) need to build up the capacity of the muscle for example (there will be differing opinions with this, and I understand them). Your belief and fear levels (which grow as you do the work) dictate how much you can do, so you can't "do too much" in the traditional sense. The last thing you should do/want to do is regret how much you did, it wasn't a mistake, it's just a sign that the brain is still catching up (that doesn't mean you can't build up your activity progressively, but I'd prefer to keep it simple and naturally do however much you feel you can do based on your confidence level in the diagnosis). The more you work on your belief the quicker the brain will come with you

 

[Diana-M]

it's just a sign that the brain is still catching up

I agree with Adam. It takes a while for your brain to know you are safe doing these activities. You have to rewire it through repetition. And often your system will contract in pain before it expands again with more capacity.

 

[Thibaut33]

Hello, and thank you for your replies.

I'm learning something new every day, and today I've learned that my brain has been working even harder for the past four days to make my life miserable... especially with my back.

Jana, you mentioned releasing the pressure.

Unfortunately, I have the feeling that I'm under constant pressure, or at least for a large part of the day.

Even though I've started to understand TMS and I've been trying to put the right practices into place, the pressure is still there.

As for fear, I am starting to notice some changes. I feel less fearful than I did just a few weeks ago.

Even though I still sometimes find myself feeling scared for no particular reason, I do feel that something has changed.

Adam, you mentioned working on my beliefs and that the more I work on them, the sooner my brain will follow.

I understand the concept, but what does that actually look like in practice?

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

and today I've learned that my brain has been working even harder for the past four days to make my life miserable... especially with my back.

Well for starters, this mindset isn't going to help and is just going to make you miserable. The brain is not the enemy and it's not trying to punish you. You're putting yourself in a very weak and vulnerable position by splitting yourself off from your brain, as if it's some foreign entity that has enslaved you.

You are your brain in many ways and you have far more control than you're letting on. This isn't about blame, but your brain is just trying to protect you either based on what has happened to you or what you've told it. You believed there was something wrong with you for all these years (which is fair enough - but it seems like it was a wrong belief), so your brain responded accordingly (based on your beliefs) to protect you. That wasn't your brain's fault, it's innocent.

I'll give you an example as it relates to your question. So say I think it's TMS, yet I'm still moving as if there's something wrong with me (I hesitate to stand up, I walk sideways, whatever it is) - I'm not backing up my belief with action. The brain is the ultimate survival mechanism, and pain is a protective mechanism, so it's only going to turn the pain off if it's very sure we are safe. Now here I am telling my brain it's TMS, but my actions suggest otherwise (as if there's nothing wrong with my body, why would I move unnaturally?) - my brain won't believe me (and the subconscious brain isn't built on logic - which makes sense because it needs to make split second fight or flight decisions to dodge a punch or run away from a lion - it doesn't have time for logic), it will only turn off the pain if it's sure, but I'm sending it mixed messages (it thinks, make up your mind Adam). It's my responsibility to match my belief with my actions. You can blame the brain, but that's how it works (and if it didn't, we wouldn't have survived as a species) and you can't change that.

So the exercise is then to act naturally and fix anything you're doing that is inferring a structural issue to the brain - you don't have to do it all at once (and they become easier to do the more your belief grows) but examples include starting to move naturally, stop using physical aids such as cushions and canes, improve your reactions to the pain, as catastrophising suggests a structural issue etc.

 

[Thibaut33]

Hello Adam,

Thank you once again for your availability and your valuable advice.

I'm sorry—I just realized that the translator completely mistranslated what I meant.

I didn't mean to say "miserable."

What I meant was that I now understand that after my more comfortable period of relief, my brain reacted by triggering my lower back pain again, and that I've been going through some difficult days since that flare-up.

I certainly didn't mean to say "miserable."

Regarding your example about TMS, beliefs, and actions, I understand the concept well, and I find it quite easy to apply it to my back.

In fact, I'm doing more things now and I'm much less hesitant than before because, deep down, I know there is nothing structurally wrong.

Throughout the day, I often remind myself that I am safe, that my back is healthy, and that there is no structural damage.

However, when it comes to the body-wide burning sensations, it feels different, and I'm finding it much harder to understand how to put this into practice.

The burning sensations don't stop me from moving, walking, or being active.

It's simply the constant feeling of my body being like a hot plate set to 7 out of 10 whenever they're present.

With my back, I have the belief, and then, little by little, my actions—such as moving more—show my brain that there is no danger, allowing it to gradually reduce or switch off the alarm.

But what about the body-wide burning sensations?

I have the belief, and on top of that, my skin biopsy for small fiber neuropathy came back negative.

But what actions will convince my brain that these burning sensations are not dangerous?

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

In fact, I'm doing more things now and I'm much less hesitant than before because, deep down, I know there is nothing structurally wrong.

Throughout the day, I often remind myself that I am safe, that my back is healthy, and that there is no structural damage.

Love it!

With my back, I have the belief, and then, little by little, my actions—such as moving more—show my brain that there is no danger, allowing it to gradually reduce or switch off the alarm.

Brilliant, well done!

But what about the body-wide burning sensations?

I have the belief, and on top of that, my skin biopsy for small fiber neuropathy came back negative.

But what actions will convince my brain that these burning sensations are not dangerous?

That's great that you have that test result - and it's a good question.

The burning sensations don't stop me from moving, walking, or being active.

You can actually use this to your advantage. The back you are starting from a place where you were restricting your movement, so more movement sends that positive message of safety. Here, you're saying that you're already doing everything, so how to send that same message? I understand.

You should still remind yourself that you are safe and that there is nothing wrong (referencing your negative test), that remains important (for the back as well as the burning sensations - especially if you're more prone to believe something is wrong with the burning sensations vs the back - which would make sense and is probably the norm - although everyone's different and for some the back may be more worrying).

If the burning sensations aren't causing you to act any differently than normal, then it's all in the anticipation and reaction to symptoms as well as the specific triggers. You need to react calmly and avoid catastrophising about them (that doesn't mean you need to like them, feeling frustrated is okay, we just need to avoid the reaction of fear).

What are your specific triggers with them? If they appear linked to stress, then that's great evidence of TMS. I think you need to focus on building more TMS evidence around the burning sensations, as that will help you to react with more calm and less fear. If they are around more physical activity, then that's a different strategy but I'll wait to see what you think

 

[Thibaut33]

I think there are two triggers for these body-wide burning sensations:

The first one I’ve never really understood. When I tried antibiotics or herbal treatments for Lyme disease, each time I took them—or after just a few doses—it would trigger or very strongly increase the burning sensations.

I had the same reaction with neurological medications I’ve been taking for my lower back pain since December.

No one has ever been able to explain why.

The second trigger is, I think, an accumulation of stress and anxiety.

A stressful or anxious event on its own doesn’t seem to trigger the burning sensations, but I have the impression that it’s the build-up of events that eventually does.

Like a bucket being filled until it overflows. And when it overflows, that’s when the burning episodes start.

Before my lower back pain, from 2020 to 2024, when I wasn’t trying medications, I feel like it worked this way. I would have burning episodes every month, of varying duration and intensity.

So I think that if I had to describe a trigger, I would say it’s the accumulation of stress and anxiety.

I’ve noticed that every time I go on holiday, I tend to have an episode within the first 24–48 hours.

And yet I don’t feel particularly stressed or anxious at those moments.

I think anxiety is always there, at a baseline level that is too high… I’m not really sure how to explain it.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

The first one I’ve never really understood. When I tried antibiotics or herbal treatments for Lyme disease, each time I took them—or after just a few doses—it would trigger or very strongly increase the burning sensations.

I had the same reaction with neurological medications I’ve been taking for my lower back pain since December.

That's good motivation to come off of these, as they aren't necessary if it's TMS (I'm not saying you have to come off them immediately, and you should always do so in consultation with your doctor - if you're taking them for another reason I don't know about too then that's different).

The second trigger is, I think, an accumulation of stress and anxiety.

Great! Really the central tenet of TMS evidence.

I think anxiety is always there, at a baseline level that is too high… I’m not really sure how to explain it.

That makes complete sense - how to address these (stress and anxiety) is a big part of the Structured Program offered here

 

[Wolfgang]

Hello! I wanted to share my experience with the burning pain. When my lower back pain was at its worst, I had a burning sensation in both of my thighs. I couldn't even keep a blanket over them (not even in winter), and if my clothes touched my skin, it burned so badly that it drove me crazy. It was usually worse at night, and like you, I took Lyrica, but it didn't help much. However, after participating in the Structured Educational Program, the burning pain disappeared completely. Occasionally, if I don't get enough sleep or I'm under extreme stress, I get the same burning pain in my arms. When that happens, I just leave it alone, believing that it will eventually go away on its own. I've experienced it disappearing like magic after a night's sleep several times. If you've already tried all the other medical approaches, I would recommend trying a TMS-based approach.

https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program