Barriers to recovery

[RogueWave]

Hi everyone, it's been quite a while since I've posted, and I won't have a ton of time in the near future (life is good, just excessively busy in the last couple of years!). But I checked all the threads, and didn't see one specific to things to keep an eye on in order to avoid sabotaging your own recovery. I've been thinking about starting this thread for the past year or so, so I'm finally getting around to it.

I'd like to ask anyone who has recovered from TMS to please add to this post, and if we get enough info, perhaps we could pin it...?

So, based on my ow experience, these are some of the really important things that will hamper recovery. I did all of them for months so I’m not blaming anybody!

You just have to catch yourself when you are doing them, and stop. Immediately. And don't beat yourself up about it.

All of these things will make the brain continue to perceive a threat, which is all it needs to keep pumping out stress hormones. And that’s what keeps the sympathetic/parasympathetic imbalance going for longer than it should.

And even if you do everything ‘right’, it will still take time. It's like if you had a pot of water boiling for hours, and you finally turned the stove off. The water isn't going to cool off immediately, it will take some time even though the source of the heat has stopped.

Some of these terms are derived from Dr. Low's "Mental Health Through Will Training" book, so I want to credit the source.

1. Looking for other explanations, diagnoses, the perfect doctor, or some miraculous magic bullet cure. This will keep you in a state of high alert and continue the stress response. Sure, you feel better having a solid diagnosis, but then what?

2. Self-diagnosis. Don’t. Unless you have a lot to experience with medical training, you aren’t qualified. You’ll just make yourself more upset, and WebMD will convince you that either you’re dying or you’ll never get better.

3. ‘Defeatism’, i.e., ‘This will never end!’ ‘Why me?’ ‘I’m never going to get better.’ And so forth. Sound familiar? I did it for almost 2 years. Felt good to unload, but like eating junk food, the taste is good but the after effect is really, really bad. Thinking/saying these types of things will just keep your body in the state that it’s in. If you hear a noise at night and assume someone is breaking into your house, you will go on high alert, just from a single thought. This is no different, except that the ‘threat’ is constant.

4. Failure to treat the symptoms as anything other than harmless stress/anxiety. If you just focus on the symptom, it’ll tend to persist because the cause (a constantly irritated nervous system) isn’t being addressed.

5. Failure to acknowledge even small improvements. This is a war, not a battle. Little battles win big wars, eventually. Focus on the wins, not the losses.

6. Romanticism or Romantic thinking, also known as Sentimentalism (‘I NEVER used to be like this!’...etc), and emotionalism (‘When will this EVER go away?’) . Again, I said/thought these things thousands of times. It’s understandable. But by doing this you are telling your nervous system tha there is a bigger and bigger threat, and it will continue to respond accordingly. This just keeps your brain in ‘threat perception’ mode, and that’s what prevents it from healing.

7. Intellectualism. "Well this started 3 years ago at 5 pm, and I think it gets worse every time the barometric pressure drops a tiny bit" Constant focus on every detail only serves to re-invigorate the entire TMS process, for the same reasons as listed about in #6. As they say in golf 'analysis leads to paralysis.' Or in our cases, TMS symptoms.

Always try and remain confident, and if you’re having a bad day, listen or read something motivational. Focus on all the improvements, even if small. The side you feed is the one that grows, no matter how small! So feed the positive one, repeatedly.

 

[miffybunny]

These are great! #4 is a huge trap and #5 needs to get far more attention! People grossly underestimate how important it is to celebrate even seemingly miniscule wins. Just because they are subtle or small, does not make them less notable or profound. Another one I see a lot is the false belief that "I'm different, my symptoms are different, there's something different about be etc etc) that precludes me from getting better (a surgery, an injury, anxiety, less common symptoms etc etc etc). I'll add more when I think of them!

 

[Kozas]

2. Self-diagnosis. Don’t. Unless you have a lot to experience with medical training, you aren’t qualified. You’ll just make yourself more upset, and WebMD will convince you that either you’re dying or you’ll never get better.

5. Failure to acknowledge even small improvements. This is a war, not a battle. Little battles win big wars, eventually. Focus on the wins, not the losses.

6. Romanticism or Romantic thinking, also known as Sentimentalism (‘I NEVER used to be like this!’...etc), and emotionalism (‘When will this EVER go away?’) . Again, I said/thought these things thousands of times. It’s understandable. But by doing this you are telling your nervous system tha there is a bigger and bigger threat, and it will continue to respond accordingly. This just keeps your brain in ‘threat perception’ mode, and that’s what prevents it from healing.

7. Intellectualism. "Well this started 3 years ago at 5 pm, and I think it gets worse every time the barometric pressure drops a tiny bit" Constant focus on every detail only serves to re-invigorate the entire TMS process, for the same reasons as listed about in #6. As they say in golf 'analysis leads to paralysis.' Or in our cases, TMS symptoms.

Thanks you RogueWave that's very helpful but I still have problems with some of those points. For example Self-diagnosis. Isn't most of us here self-diagnosed? My pain started in 2011 and after loads and loads of tests, medicines, doctor visits I just assumed in 2017/2018 I have problems with mindbody(TMS and Sarno weren't first things from mindbody area I discovered). But I self-diagnosed myself. I live in central Europe and no doctor ever heard about Sarno, and most of them are very conservative when it comes to how mind influences body.
Point nr 5. What if instead of improvements I get worse with almost every year?
Point nr 6. Yeah, but how to do it? Every day I think about my lost youth(in 2011 I was 22), how good life was before pain and how good it could have been without it. Maybe I would have better job, maybe I would have a girlfriend. But most importantly I would feel better without pain. And I still remember some glimpses from my former life. How to stop being so sentimental? Any practical guidances?
Point nr 7 is hard for me too. I feel some of my symptoms get worse when weather is changing. And I'm in mental agony when I think I'm in this pain for 12 years. I'm in my mid 3o's and I don't know if some of my symptoms(like bad knees) are because of TMS or maybe I'm just getting older and weaker?

 

[m8888888]

This is a must read for literally everyone on this site.

imo, if your approach to TMS/Anxiety is any more complex than “my nervous system is in a state of high alert”, that is only ever going to lead to more obsession, more confusion and prolonged symptoms. There really isn’t enough emphasis on the fact that what we know as anxiety and TMS are the exact same thing.

Anyone continually posting about their individual, ever-changing symptoms on here MUST be made aware that they’re only reinforcing to their brain that this is in fact a physical issue. It’s not until you stop feeding this narrative and decide once and for all that the ONLY reason you continue to have symptoms is a nervous system in a state of high arousal, being fuelled by anxious thinking about your anxious feelings, that you’ll actually make progress.

They may not feel like your ‘classic’ anxiety symptoms but please believe me when I say they are.

 

[m8888888]

Also, most importantly, please don’t obsessively look for techniques/tools/programs to get rid of the symptoms or try to follow exactly what someone else did to get better. I spent years doing that.

Truly believe that your only issue is a mind and body in a temporary state of high alert and your symptoms (which can be literally anything) are just misinformed danger signals, fuelled by your obsession, catastrophic thinking and avoidance of certain activities.

 

[Ellen]

Great list! I would add:

-Catastrophizing: "My life is completely ruined and always will be because of X symptom."
-Self-absorption: "How am I doing today? Is it better than yesterday or worse? Am I moving in the right direction?, etc."

 

[Cactusflower]

“Anyone continually posting about their individual, ever-changing symptoms on here MUST be made aware“

I think it’s must become aware. You can’t “make” anyone do anything, and the idea that someone else must “make” us is what fuels searching for methods and practiononers. It’s being open to these things. As a person who was stuck in the “make” - I feel this can be an important distinction for some.

“For example Self-diagnosis. Isn't most of us here self-diagnosed?”

I think this is a misunderstanding- it’s self-diagnosing medicalization terms. Instead of “I have back pain” people tend to say things like “I have a rare form of indescribable necrosis of the left x muscle close to the 7th vertabrae that is the most rare of all rare back disorders”. That sort of thing. I think you are right that most of us come here without a Dr.’s formal tms diagnoses.

 

[Baseball65]

I have never had much to contribute in the 'what to avoid' category because I had a fast, effective and permanent 'healing'...Oh , I had relapses and it's tried to change, but I have never gotten back to where I was on Day one..

On the 'to do' list, all I can say is that I knew everybody I had spoken with up to the time I read Sarno was operating on the 'wrong' or 'old' template and I was free to delete all of that old bad info. If I caught myself thinking about something THEY had told me, I just reminded myself "Oh.,.,.but they were wrong about everything"

I just replaced all of my OLD thinking which was similar to the list there, with NEW thinking. It's like turning a light on... I don't need to tell the dark "Hey , don't come in here!"

because it can't

 

[TG957]

Doubts. Especially the ones disguised as critical thinking or thoughtful analysis, or much needed research on new symptoms, or whatever. Your biggest enemy is doubts.

 

[Dorado]

Doubts. Especially the ones disguised as critical thinking or thoughtful analysis, or much needed research on new symptoms, or whatever. Your biggest enemy is doubts.

Yes - doubts are notorious for not only keeping the belief of illness, injury, damage, etc. alive, but ramping up the sympathetic nervous system response! Totally agreed.

 

[RogueWave]

Thanks you RogueWave that's very helpful but I still have problems with some of those points. For example Self-diagnosis. Isn't most of us here self-diagnosed? My pain started in 2011 and after loads and loads of tests, medicines, doctor visits I just assumed in 2017/2018 I have problems with mindbody(TMS and Sarno weren't first things from mindbody area I discovered). But I self-diagnosed myself. I live in central Europe and no doctor ever heard about Sarno, and most of them are very conservative when it comes to how mind influences body.
Point nr 5. What if instead of improvements I get worse with almost every year?
Point nr 6. Yeah, but how to do it? Every day I think about my lost youth(in 2011 I was 22), how good life was before pain and how good it could have been without it. Maybe I would have better job, maybe I would have a girlfriend. But most importantly I would feel better without pain. And I still remember some glimpses from my former life. How to stop being so sentimental? Any practical guidances?
Point nr 7 is hard for me too. I feel some of my symptoms get worse when weather is changing. And I'm in mental agony when I think I'm in this pain for 12 years. I'm in my mid 3o's and I don't know if some of my symptoms(like bad knees) are because of TMS or maybe I'm just getting older and weaker?

Apologies for the delayed response, but my time is limited for the foreseeable future! Good discussion from everyone here so far though.

Good point! I should have been clearer, but I meant avoid self-diagnosis for everything EXCEPT TMS. Often the 'stress brain' will go to the worst case scenario, like some type of cancer or heavy neurological issue, but it just adds more stress, perpetuating the cycle.

Point 5: Are you sure about that? Or is it just the perception that's getting worse? Do you journal at all?

Point 6: The past is the past. It's not easy to do, but you have to work a bit harder at planting a seed of a great future potential. You are STILL very young, and while your brain and body have been stuck for a bit, at your age neuroplasticity is still really good, and therefore your 'programs' can be changed. Give your body more credit. It is designed to heal. My old sifu in Beijing used to say 'real healing is about creating the condition to allow for healing to occur.' In TMS cases, we have to stop feeding the cycle. You've been here awhile, and you know the basics of that. You just have to get better at doing it, and that only occurs through practice.

You're not old OR weak. Throw that thought out immediately. I have patients in their 70s with great knees who have been very active their whole lives!

I have a friend named Bob who is 74 years old. He was a physicist in the 1970s, then became a monk for a decade. During that time he lived in India, and practiced meditation for 10-18 hours per day, 7 days a week, FOR TEN YEARS! None of that is a typo . And after all that time, this is what he told me is one of the main things he learned from all those thousands of hours of observing thoughts and feelings: "99% of the thoughts that bubble up into a person's consciousness are absolute garbage! They are largely habit-patterns from life experience and traumas, so pay as little attention to them as possible!'

Please read that paragraph again.

The thoughts and feelings mostly bubble up from a deep place, and they can take time to shift. But they can shift if you take it as a longer term project. For example, even if 50 things hurt, and one are doesn't, focus on the area that doesn't. Or if an area stopped hurting for just a few seconds, put the attention on the 'victory.'

What you put energy into grows, what you take energy/attention away from, dies.

Inspire yourself when you can. With all the suffering you have been through, you certainly aren't weak! Your mind and body are stronger than you think, so start using them!

 

[Kozas]

Apologies for the delayed response, but my time is limited for the foreseeable future! Good discussion from everyone here so far though.

Good point! I should have been clearer, but I meant avoid self-diagnosis for everything EXCEPT TMS. Often the 'stress brain' will go to the worst case scenario, like some type of cancer or heavy neurological issue, but it just adds more stress, perpetuating the cycle.

Point 5: Are you sure about that? Or is it just the perception that's getting worse? Do you journal at all?

Point 6: The past is the past. It's not easy to do, but you have to work a bit harder at planting a seed of a great future potential. You are STILL very young, and while your brain and body have been stuck for a bit, at your age neuroplasticity is still really good, and therefore your 'programs' can be changed. Give your body more credit. It is designed to heal. My old sifu in Beijing used to say 'real healing is about creating the condition to allow for healing to occur.' In TMS cases, we have to stop feeding the cycle. You've been here awhile, and you know the basics of that. You just have to get better at doing it, and that only occurs through practice.

You're not old OR weak. Throw that thought out immediately. I have patients in their 70s with great knees who have been very active their whole lives!

I have a friend named Bob who is 74 years old. He was a physicist in the 1970s, then became a monk for a decade. During that time he lived in India, and practiced meditation for 10-18 hours per day, 7 days a week, FOR TEN YEARS! None of that is a typo . And after all that time, this is what he told me is one of the main things he learned from all those thousands of hours of observing thoughts and feelings: "99% of the thoughts that bubble up into a person's consciousness are absolute garbage! They are largely habit-patterns from life experience and traumas, so pay as little attention to them as possible!'

Please read that paragraph again.

The thoughts and feelings mostly bubble up from a deep place, and they can take time to shift. But they can shift if you take it as a longer term project. For example, even if 50 things hurt, and one are doesn't, focus on the area that doesn't. Or if an area stopped hurting for just a few seconds, put the attention on the 'victory.'

What you put energy into grows, what you take energy/attention away from, dies.

Inspire yourself when you can. With all the suffering you have been through, you certainly aren't weak! Your mind and body are stronger than you think, so start using them!

Thank you for answer.
Sadly I'm getting worse physically. I journal but not like teached by TMS practicioners but by writing down how my day went, about my fears and emotions. My problems were for years jaw/teeth pain and stomach pain. Now I have problems with my knees, back and most fearsome for me - eyes(floaters, visual snow, tired overall eyes). I thought it's changing tactics because I've learnt how to live with my previous symptoms and not to fear them so my brain decided to up the ante( just few months after I discovered how to be happy again). And sadly it's working because I'm again affraid of my life

 

[RogueWave]

Thank you for answer.
Sadly I'm getting worse physically. I journal but not like teached by TMS practicioners but by writing down how my day went, about my fears and emotions. My problems were for years jaw/teeth pain and stomach pain. Now I have problems with my knees, back and most fearsome for me - eyes(floaters, visual snow, tired overall eyes). I thought it's changing tactics because I've learnt how to live with my previous symptoms and not to fear them so my brain decided to up the ante( just few months after I discovered how to be happy again). And sadly it's working because I'm again affraid of my life

And I’m assuming you’ve been thoroughly checked over by a physician, yes? Not that I think they will find anything, but more for your psychology.

 

[Kozas]

And I’m assuming you’ve been thoroughly checked over by a physician, yes? Not that I think they will find anything, but more for your psychology.

Thank you for all your answers and help, it's clear to me how much knowledge you have when it comes to TMS and health in general. My old symptoms were of course checked hundreds of time in years long passed, new ones are quite new(most of them ~half year to few weeks) and I just haven't had time to visit doctors. I'm a teacher and it seems to me that every new school year(especially those after covid) is harder and harder. I work a lot and I'm under enourmous pressure from parents of students I teach, from schools officials etc.
But vacation time is near, and I will spend it to get checked up by doctors and do some tests, I know it should be done already but like I said - lack of free time and energy :/ Anyway thank you again, and I'm not derelailing this thread(it's not about me but to help all stucked people! Some of them maybe needs just a little bit help, in comparison to me, because I feel like I spend last 10 years stucked and I'm a really hard case).

 

[MWsunin12]

I'll add in: The search for sympathy. Unconsciously hoping to have someone agree that what you have to go through is awful....and then feeling anger when they don't. It's your brain's tricky way to try to confirm that you have something really wrong that deserves your fear.

 

[Kozas]

And I’m assuming you’ve been thoroughly checked over by a physician, yes? Not that I think they will find anything, but more for your psychology.

I've been checked by 'eye doctor', he said my eyes are healthy, I just have astigmatism with a minor myopia(the same I had when I was 18, I don't wear glasses because it's just -0.75). When it comes to other new symptoms like pain in knees, neck, back I'm almost 100% sure they are TMS because they so move around in comparison to my "main" symptoms that occured firstly in 2011 and are 24/h.
I really try to be positive, to live my life, and I do, I really do life live in comparison to 2011-2016 years, 5 years or more lost to depression(due to mainly pain), I was shutin. Now I have good job that I like, I hang out with colleagues(I don't have friends since I finished university, and it's really hard to have friend when you are older) but I just can't defeat some of my demons... and main one is nostalgia. Even when I feel I can do it, I can deal with TMS instantly I think when I was 15 or 20, I was so much healthier, happier back then. So much happened since then... can I be really happy again? In those moments I try to deal with nostalgia thinking about future, how good it would be, how free(I'm buying finally my own apartment and I will leave from my extremely toxic mother) and finally healthy I will be. But I don't REALLY believe in that. How can I archieve that? How can I archieve faith in my recovery? I was always weak in that department... I don't believe in gods, in life after death, I was(and still I'm) man of science. I know that so many people dealt with even stronger manifestations of TMS but I just DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT.
Any advice?

 

[Cactusflower]

Kozas,
I am sorry for all the difficulties teaches go through now. I was a teacher, and the stress was great so long ago. My friends who teach all speak of this piled on stress.
I don't know where you live, but I'm wondering if you've tried any sort of therapy to help you change your limiting beliefs? I think some of the things you wrote go beyond faith in TMS recovery eg. that it's hard to have friends when you are "older". There is work you can do at home to begin helping your brain and mind move along from being so stuck: eg Tapping - ETF which can be done on your own once you learn the basics (some really good Youtube videos my own therapist has directed me towards to learn the skills), and EMDR which is therapist led and has a high rate of more permanent changes in thought that are driven by your own situation and your own goals.
As for faith, it's like a form of self-confidence. Believing in yourself, being kind to your struggles, knowing that at some point in time you can become more satisfied with your life and understanding that it can take time, lots of time. That struggles and difficulties in life don't end, it's just we open up to the possibility that we can actually handle them.
The fact that you almost believe they are 100% TMS is a great place to start.

 

[Kozas]

Kozas,
I am sorry for all the difficulties teaches go through now. I was a teacher, and the stress was great so long ago. My friends who teach all speak of this piled on stress.
I don't know where you live, but I'm wondering if you've tried any sort of therapy to help you change your limiting beliefs? I think some of the things you wrote go beyond faith in TMS recovery eg. that it's hard to have friends when you are "older". There is work you can do at home to begin helping your brain and mind move along from being so stuck: eg Tapping - ETF which can be done on your own once you learn the basics (some really good Youtube videos my own therapist has directed me towards to learn the skills), and EMDR which is therapist led and has a high rate of more permanent changes in thought that are driven by your own situation and your own goals.
As for faith, it's like a form of self-confidence. Believing in yourself, being kind to your struggles, knowing that at some point in time you can become more satisfied with your life and understanding that it can take time, lots of time. That struggles and difficulties in life don't end, it's just we open up to the possibility that we can actually handle them.
The fact that you almost believe they are 100% TMS is a great place to start.

I like my job and it's really fulfilling. Of course somethimes is stressful, but every job is like this. I'm from central europe, I've been in therapy for years in the past, it didn't helped. It's just so depressing, doing what I thought will help me and getting worse and worse. I'm 34 I want to do some 'living' without symptoms...