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Avoiding people or stressful situations

N

Nicholina

New Member
My sisters wedding is next month. I have not spoken my father in 6 months as I’ve been working through unresolved anger that I believe is contributing to my back pain. The pain resolved over the summer but has now returned in the past week.
Should I not attend the wedding to avoid having to see my father and potentially worsen the symptoms? Or do I go and face my emotions?
 
I think the criteria for going should be about your sister's special day. Will you regret not attending? Your father is not the cause of your symptoms. Your feelings about him may play a role in the onset of tms, and you may need to resolve things with your father or within yourself about your father, but attending the wedding has nothing to do with your symptoms. Would you go if there was no tms in the picture? That's the question of which your answer should be based.
 
I think I would regret not going even though my sister told me she would understand and cares more about my wellbeing than my being there.

Yes, I would definitely go if TMS were not in the picture. I feel sad my life feels so small and limited right now. Does that mean I should go?

miffybunny said:
I think the criteria for going should be about your sister's special day. Will you regret not attending? Your father is not the cause of your symptoms. Your feelings about him may play a role in the onset of tms, and you may need to resolve things with your father or within yourself about your father, but attending the wedding has nothing to do with your symptoms. Would you go if there was no tms in the picture? That's the question of which your answer should be based.
Click to expand...
 
We make decisions based on our hearts desires and what we need to do, not what symptoms are doing, If we let symptoms dictate, then we are being tricked by the tms strategy. The only way to teach the brain that you are fine is to actually believe that and behave in a way that a person who is fine would behave. So, you already answered your question.
 
miffybunny said:
We make decisions based on our hearts desires and what we need to do, not what symptoms are doing, If we let symptoms dictate, then we are being tricked by the tms strategy. The only way to teach the brain that you are fine is to actually believe that and behave in a way that a person who is fine would behave. So, you already answered your question.
Click to expand...


Thank you so much for this response. This is all new to me. I’m going to go to the ceremony at the very least! I want to be there for my sister on her wedding day.
 
I wonder if people get older and pass the "responsibility" years, their TMS may subside. That goes along with disappearance of stressors. The hard part is to live peacefully without symptoms despite various stressors surrounding you.
 
louaci said:
I wonder if people get older and pass the "responsibility" years, their TMS may subside. That goes along with disappearance of stressors. The hard part is to live peacefully without symptoms despite various stressors surrounding you.
Click to expand...
i think it depends on the person. i keep hoping that's the case but it really hasn't been that way and i'm 63 now. i try not to get frustrated by it but it can be a struggle sometimes.
 
louaci said:
I wonder if people get older and pass the "responsibility" years, their TMS may subside. That goes along with disappearance of stressors. The hard part is to live peacefully without symptoms despite various stressors surrounding you.
Click to expand...

The stress is internally generated for the most part so in that case, age has nothing to do with it. Actually, there seems to be an increase in instances of TMS when we get older. Responsability to ourselves never ends, it just changes.
 
louaci said:
I wonder if people get older and pass the "responsibility" years, their TMS may subside. That goes along with disappearance of stressors. The hard part is to live peacefully without symptoms despite various stressors surrounding you.
Click to expand...
I live peacefully and I have symptoms. I can do both. Daily meditations help me to cope with life's stressors and to stay balanced, at peace.
 
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