Another MRI..

Hi guys,
I've been treating my chronic pain as tms for a while now and have had some success but about 6 weeks ago had a bad spasm and have remained in much pain and restricted mobility since.

While my confidence and basic understanding of tms is quite good I still had some doubts that were mostly driven by pain increases and anxiety related to those increases. I seem to get hit hard when I do and have developed bad fear patterns that most likely perpetuate the pain.

So a few days ago I woke up and was getting ready for work and sort of had a melt down over the pain. I was so confused as to how the pain could just get this much worse and remain like this for so long, Especially when i have no additional source of stress or identifiable trigger to look at as the source.

I felt desperate and dont take meds for relief so I thought screw it, Im gonna go to my local gp, Get some pain meds for once and demand another MRI, Xray and full check up.

In my moment of just being so completely sick of the pain I thought I needed to do something to improve my complete belief in tms as I think this must be the reason for it refusing to leave my body. The little bit of fear and doubt must be fuelling it.

Another reason for the tests is it was a great chance to size them up against my much lower level pain days. My last MRI was over 2 years ago when i had not heard of tms. Nothing came up apart from a minute bulge that the specialist i was seeing disregarded as a pain source.

So in 2 years my pain has gone from a little nagging discomfort of about a 2/10..... To now raging at about a non stop 8/10. I was seriously nervous the day of getting the results back and had butterflies and was scared and so damn anxious. My main fear would be some normal ageing etc would show up and possibly fuel tms doubt but I couldnt just keep going on like this..

So i get them back...Go back to my car & open them in private. THEY WERE EXACTLY THE SAME!!! At the bottom of the report it said 'There is no evidence to attribute the symptoms'.
It really is tms proof and while I know some would frown on the very fact I even had another MRI I did it in a moment of just being so fed up with the pain and for once in what seems like a while something went my way.

The fact that the pain has gone through the freakin roof but not one physical change has occurred in my back it is obviously 100% psychological and the risk has paid off. I haven't had the pain decrease yet but i sure do feel better mentally.

Im trying to look at why the pain increase now I know there is no way its physical, My gut tells me the tms is holding on with it's all and 'protecting' me from the emotions. Im starting to think psychotherapy may be on the cards as i just cant seem to break the current pattern just yet.

See ya, Thanks for reading.

 

Hi Max,

I think anything that helps your peace of mind is worth a shot. Plus it sounds like your doctor is not one to jump on the structural band wagon and mentioned to you before that nothing showed up that was a cause of the pain. And now you know that's still the case.

I'm a big fan of therapy as it helped in TMS recovery more than anything else, except for reading Sarno's books and learning about TMS in the first place.

Good luck to you
Veronica

 

Well, Max, awareness of this means that you're at least halfway there. If your brain is holding on so tight, it may be that you need an effective therapist to pry open the trap door. The key word being "effective". That seems to be the sticking point for many people!

I also agree that having that MRI is going to help you over the last hurdle. I'm a big fan of therapy as well, but I ended up doing self-therapy here on the wiki (doing the Structured Educational Program) and by reading some alternatives to Dr. Sarno, specifically Claire Weekes for anxiety (she was from Oz, is no longer with us - she wrote Hope & Help For Your Nerves in 1969, I think!)

So if you can find a good therapist, that would be great. I've heard good things about Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (Alan Gordon), and I really like the concepts in Existential Psychotherapy (Peter Zafirides). If you haven't started the SEP, try that, too - it will get you doing something specific each day.

Good luck,

Jan