Regarding the programs, I have done the reconditioning program up to halfway. There is a lot of information, success stories, and I also read that written work. Yes, at the beginning I kept a journal. I wrote about my past problems, and although it was helpful in some ways, I don’t feel like that could really help with a pain like the one I have.
I know that what I have developed after about a year of intense emotions: fear, worry, stress. All of that kept sending constant alarm signals to my brain, and it ended up becoming sensitized. Central sensitization, as I understand it. A type of pain generated by the brain and maintained by fear.
In theory, the only way out of this is to send safety signals to my brain, and little by little the sensitivity should decrease and the symptoms should fade. It sounds so simple when you say it… like it’s just neural pathways weakening as you lose fear. I don’t know.
I have read Alan Gordon’s programs. Sometimes they feel like they have so many rules, almost like you have to be a Zen monk to recover: be kind to yourself, don’t get frustrated, don’t worry, don’t feel fear, avoid negative thoughts. I understand that those reactions can signal danger to the brain and keep the sensitization going, but it also feels like a lot of pressure.
They also often talk about what to do when the pain appears. But what happens when it’s there all the time? In my case, it’s present from the moment I wake up, and as the morning goes on, it increases. Sometimes it feels like my brain doesn’t want me to move my arms, like there’s some kind of restriction.
I won’t lie—I am scared about my situation. Sometimes I wish I had something more “typical,” like what most people describe: tingling, numbness, burning… I don’t know. What I have feels very tied to a panic attack, and I don’t know if my brain will ever understand that the event is over, that there is no danger anymore, not in my arms or anywhere else in my body.
You are an inspiration, truly. But I also know it took you a long time, and that scares me too. I know your brain generated your symptoms, but in my case, this one appeared during a moment of intense fear, and that makes me feel like it’s deeply rooted.
I also know that these sensations can move and change, because that’s how I experience them in my arms, and that is very unsettling. You never really know what you’re going to feel.
I’ve read that fear of the symptom is what keeps it going. I suppose that letting go of fear is what sends the message to the brain that it’s no longer needed. But thinking that it all depends on a “decision” or “opinion” of the brain scares me. It feels like I want to stop it, but if it doesn’t want to, it won’t… like a kind of stubbornness.
And it also scares me to think that even if it improves or goes away one day, it could come back.
@Alouqua47 Lamento que no hayas experimentado un mayor alivio con la infusión.
No eres un fracaso, los síntomas del síndrome de fatiga crónica (SFC) pueden ser terriblemente dolorosos (los míos lo fueron) y lloré mucho durante mi recuperación.
Cuando pelaba las zanahorias de la bandeja estando postrada en cama, lloré desconsoladamente (lágrimas de frustración y rabia), pero fue el comienzo de mi camino para superar el dolor (aunque no me di cuenta en ese momento). Necesitas desahogarte y expresar tus emociones.
Es muy positivo que al menos veas la posibilidad de mejorar. Sin embargo, debes dejar de describir tus síntomas, ya que eso solo sirve para centrar tu mente en ellos, y en su lugar, seguir trabajando en las dudas que los rodean. Por ejemplo, Dan Ratner ha escrito un libro llamado "Aplastar la duda" que podría ayudarte. Además, si aún no lo has hecho, existe el Programa Educativo Estructural gratuito que podrías realizar; tener una estructura a seguir probablemente te ayudará, a muchas personas les funciona.
El programa educativo estructurado de 42 días se encuentra en la wiki en:
https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program
O si ya has realizado el Programa de Educación Estructural o lo prefieres, está el programa de recuperación de Alan Gordon:
El programa de recuperación del dolor de 21 días de Alan se encuentra aquí en el foro, no en la wiki:
https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
El programa original de recuperación de TMS de cuatro partes de
Alan Gordon se encuentra en la wiki en:
https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/TMS_Recovery_Program
. Wishing @Alouqua47 and @adriana all the best in your journeys as well. Medications can be a helpful tool for many things: sleep, rumination, reactivity, mood, etc., so it's always worth considering in my opinion. As far as Ketamine, I have mixed feelings about it. There are many different protocols used now and I think insurance may cover it sometimes. When I had my infusions they were exorbitantly expensive ( $3,000 each infusion), I had 5 infusions and each lasted about 5 hours. I basically hallucinated the entire time, vomited afterwards, and followed with PTSD. Having said all that, I do think it can be helpful in some cases to calm the brain and nervous system down. It really depends on the person and the protocol. It sounds like @Alouqua47 , your experience wasn't as scary and had some benefit. In general, I view it as a last resort and only as a tool. There are so many other tools out there without the risk of re traumitization.
