Although the TMS wiki and forum have been a HUGE support to me over the years, and I have posted many, many private matters on here, I have hesitated to post this on here till now. Not so much because it's a very sensitive and embarrassing issue, but because I thought it was not TMS, and that is partially right. A bit of backstory: I have a lifelong history of TMS from infancy colic to childhood tummy aches, teenage chronic earaches and sore throats, to young adult issues spanning the gamut from allergies to back pain. As an adult in my 20's my TMS manifested as IBS, Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (non-specific prostatitis), all kinds of weird pains, all showing no definitive medical diagnosis. "Anxiety" was the main diagnosis, lol. I have endured much, including the death of both parents, and may other terrible traumas, but I've managed to survive and grow into the 49 year old I am now. I feel blessed, despite it all. I skated through my 30's (relatively) pain free, but at age 42, in 2013, I had a nervous breakdown, resulting in severe Neck Pain, Back Pain, Shoulder Pain, TMJ pain, foot pain, panic attacks, crippling anxiety and depression, you name it. It took me years (and a lot of money and wasted time at chiropractors, PT's, neurologists and dentists, and well meaning but misguided healers of all kinds, etc...) before coming upon Dr. Sarno's work and it changed my life. I was able to heal 95% of my neck and shoulder pain, back pain, all of it...through serious introspection and self-discovery. I saw Dr. David Schecter, read all the TMS books I could find, became active on the forum, worked a bit with Nicole Sachs, and went full force with treating TMS. It took a lot of work, and I still get pain, but now I know what it is and can get out relatively fast. Dr. Schecter told me I have "TMS on steroids"...I fit the personality to a "T", pun intended. I am a perfectionistic, people pleasing, obsessive, repressed rage, 'gooodist' and I fit the perfect bill for TMS. I've had (and cured) pain from my toes to my teeth, my head to my stomach, my back to my hips, and beyond. I believe that almost all chronic pain is TMS, or has a HUGE TMS component. Including what I am suffering now, and suffering, I am. It's a medical condition, and it has a physical cause, but I think my TMS personality is protracting my pain. I need help. Currently, I am suffering the worst pain I've ever had in my life, hands down. I have a "anal fissure" which is basically a "cut in the butt". It started a few months after a serious throat infection earlier this year, requiring me to be on SUPER strong antibiotics for over a month, leading to constipation, which eventually, opened an anal fissure. At first I thought it was just a hemorrhoid, and I was treating it with all kinds of creams and crazy fiber supplements, ice, heat, etc. I was making it worse and worse. I didn't go to the doctor, until about 6 1/2 weeks ago, after I began to bleed from the rectum and have serious pain, and I became quite alarmed. I went to see my GP, who is very good, and to my surprise, he could not find a hemorrhoid. Seeing the agony I was in, he immediately referred me to a Colorectal Surgeon/Proctologist. The Proctologist saw a fissure immediately, and told me they can take 6 to 10 weeks to heal, and 95% do not require surgery. The good news is it isn't cancer. The bad news is it HURTS like HELL. I am VERY SLOWLY healing, but here is my question...sorry for the novella. How much of this is TMS? Here's what makes me think it is TMS...the cut in the butt isn't responsible for the pain, a rectal SPASM is. The Colorectal doc said that the body is trying to "protect itself" so the anus and entire pelvic floor goes into spasm, and the spasm RESTRICTS BLOOD FLOW and this is why fissures take months to heal. A cut of this sort, anywhere else on the body, would likely heal in a week or two. But because it is inside the rectum (or in my case, luckily, just outside) it can become chronic (as mine has) and take 10=12 weeks to heal or longer. Because of SPASM and LACK OF CIRCULATION. Sound familiar? I saw my proctologist just yesterday and he thinks I am well on the road to recovery. Bleeding has long stopped, cut is slowly healing just fine, and the spasms have lessened from day and night to just a few hours a day. But it's agony, and it's awful, and I am beating myself up about why it isn't healing faster. I also know FOUR people who have had a fissure, and they are all TMS personalities, big time. Tight asses. Literally. My doc said as soon as the sphincter releases, it will heal. He is confident it will heal without Botox (first intervention) or surgery (final measure). Many who get the surgery have them recur. I am avoiding that route. Also, my cut is relatively superficial and in a good place (near the outside). My doc thinks it will absolutely heal, with patience and care. I am doing all he says to do, using a healing cream specific for fissures (a muscle relaxing compounded cream), gently increasing fiber, walking, taking Sitz baths, and other than this pain, feeling fine. I am in good health, despite all this. My diet has never been better. But this is scary, enraging, and SLOW, and I am NOT a patient person. Every time I get upset, the spasms start. And the pain is unreal. Should I begin doing TMS treatments for this, journaling and such? Has anyone reading this had anal fissures? Any kind help or hints, or thoughts appreciated. I'm so angry and I know this is not helping. 2020 is a doozy and this stinks.